I've had tons of ideas for Hopper-centric fics, but after some time I remembered certain scene from the Season 1 finale and I wanted to address it in fanfiction.

And so I decided to write this fic. For now, I can't say much, aside, maybe that Jim is here for a hell of a ride.

Prologue

"You let me die!"

With wide opened eyes, chief Jim Hopper was observing the phantom lying before him on the floor. Normally timid and friendly Bob "The Brain" Newby was now angrily shouting at the chief. One couldn't blame him – after all nobody would be happy with guts coming out of their open belly. Covered in his own blood, Bob presented himself the way Hopper remembered him in moment of his untimely death; and the way the policeman was seeing him often in his memory.

But there was one slightly different detail – Bob's eyes. They were open, filled with hatred and glowing in ominous red light. There was no room for mercy or friendliness in those eyes. Not for Hopper, anyway.

"You've had one job! One, fucking job, Jim! Keep everyone safe! And you couldn't do it!" The ghost stood up and slowly, holding his guts, he started to walk towards the chief.

Hopper felt the need to say something. But what could he say to the man he failed to save?

"Bob, I'm-" He began, but the ghost cut in:

"-sorry?! You being sorry won't bring me back to life! You being sorry won't change the fact that you left me to die!" He stopped and his expression changed from angry to sad. A moment later tears ran down his cheeks. "What have I done to you to deserve it?! Or did you decide to sacrifice me?!"

"It's not like that, Bob…" Hopper started again.

The ghost gave a cheerless laugh.

"But it is, Jim. After all, who would care if something happened to Bob the Brain? Ever since middle school I was only just that to you – a funny, little man. So you let me die…" Bob said it in quiet, yet perfectly hearable voice. Somehow this was worse than him yelling.

"Bob…"

"And now Joyce is grieving. Didn't you ruin enough lives? You had to do it also to Joyce?" Bob's voice was now hollow as he went on: "You really are a black hole, Jim. You suck everything good and turn it to ash. Just like you did to me."

"Bob…"

"GO TO HELL, HOPPER!" Newby screamed at the top of his lungs and his red eyes glowed with blinding red light. And then, a bit quieter he added: "That's where you belong."


This was the moment, when his consciousness decided he had enough. And so Hopper woke up with cold sweat on his forehead. It took him a couple of seconds to realize that he was in his bed and it was 3:30.

Nightmares were nothing new to him. He had nightmares before. Sometimes they were about gruesome murders he was investigating back in the city. Other times they were about his little girl dying of cancer. Nights like this one, when he was waking up sweating, were happening sometimes and he was left sleepless until morning. Generally he spent it with six-pack of beer or tons of cigarettes. Sometimes he was even doing something stupid and embarrassing, like calling Diane while drunk (frankly, he wasn't doing it anymore, because neither one of them was comfortable with that afterwards).

He already had an impressive baggage of traumatic experiences, but it got even worse in past two years. Crime and disease seemed pretty mundane in comparison to government conspiracy and demons from hell spawning underneath Hawkins and claiming victim after victim. Who needed nightmares when something like that was an actual reality?

And so his nightmares started to be about a twisted version of Hawkins, Will Byers in cocoon and some kind of shapeless entity wanting to take over Hopper's town.

And also about Bob Newby being eaten up by demodogs.

Right now Jim Hopper was dreaming of smoke. He opened his nightstand drawer and took from it the pack of cigarettes. After couple of seconds he managed to find the lighter. It wasn't long before he was standing outside his cabin with his jacket over his pajamas, and feeling warm smoke inside his body. In the silence of the snowy wilderness, he had time to think.

He was coming back to this moment many times: the moment when he pointed the rifle not at demodogs attacking poor Bob, but at the one demodog that launched itself to attack Hopper. And so Bob Newby gave his last breath, becoming the feast for monsters. Hopper couldn't do anything for him anymore. He could only took Joyce to safety.

Back then, in the lab, everything was happening so fast. And he had to act fast, if he wanted to keep everyone safe. It was only when they've all got out and hidden in Byers household and that he had a moment to deal with Bob's death. He found Joyce in her bedroom, sitting with blanket over her shoulders. He went in but didn't say anything. He knew that nothing he could possibly say at the moment would ease her pain. So he just sat on the floor and tried to give her time to grief, at the same time showing her that she wasn't alone.

But in that moment alone with her he was thinking about Bob's death too. Bob the Brain was a good, brave man. He did tell Hopper to not wait for him if things go sough, so he knew the risk… But he was still a civilian. And policemen are supposed to not let civilians get hurt. It was bad enough that he didn't go back for doctor Owens…

And then there was the subject of Barbara Holland. Even after the story about gas leak went out, her parents was looking at him with resentment. And who could have blame them? Certainly not he who lost a child of his own. And if they knew what he had known, they would probably resent him even more for hiding the truth. In fact, in both Bob and Barb's cases Hopper had to choose between those he had a chance to save and those he simply couldn't. But it didn't change the fact that they still died on his watch.

He finished the cigarette and threw it on the snow in front of his porch. For a moment was just standing in the cold, feeling numb, before he decided to finally go back to the cabin. Once he closed the door behind himself and turned away, he was met with Jane in her pajamas glaring at him in the middle of the room. For a moment he felt like she was his mother, catching him doing something reckless.

In some ways it was true.

"Cold." She said.

"Yes, but I have a jacket, see?" He pointed out with a smile.

She didn't say anything, but kept glaring at him. So he decided to change subject and got more serious.

"Why aren't you sleeping, kid?"

"Why aren't you?" This time she managed to speak a whole sentence and her expression showed clear concern over his wellbeing.

I just felt like smoking… – He wanted to say but ever since she learned about her mother and ran away to meet her, he decided to treat "Friends don't lie" rule more seriously. So he settled for:

"I couldn't sleep."

He even smiled lightly… but Jane still looked at him like something was wrong. Frankly, it wasn't the first time she had seen him awake and smoking at such a barbaric hour. After all, they've spent almost a year in one small cabin. And she wasn't stupid. She quickly realized the reason behind his insomnia.

"Nightmares?" She asked.

Hopper nodded, almost involuntarily.

She didn't ask what the nightmare was about (for which Hopper was grateful). She only smiled sympathetically and said:

"TV?"

Again, it wasn't the first time she'd seen him awake from a nightmare. And she also had nightmares of her own. So whenever one of them had a bad dream, they were spending rest of the night in front of TV. While many stations weren't broadcasting so early, Hoppers always found themselves watching some stupid show or movie until the morning has broken and chief needed to prepare for work.

Hopper looked at her and felt a little warmer inside.

"Sure, kid."

And so they've sent rest of the night on the couch, watching TV and occasionally talking about random things. It wasn't much, but somewhere along the way he stopped thinking about his latest nightmares and started to enjoy the company.

There was something very comforting about someone watching dumb TV with him, just sitting beside him. Especially because there were just too many nights when he was waking up in empty house, alone with his thoughts. El didn't need to do anything. He was making him feel better just by being there.

All in all, it wasn't a bad night.


"So this is the place?" A young voice asked.

"Hawkins, Indiana, yes." Another, this time female voice replied. And then said: "You know the plan?"

"Oh, yeah." Suddenly the youngster sounded very excited. "I can't wait to meet them. This will be so cool…"

"Focus, Herbert! This is serious!" The woman reprimanded him and then added more somberly: "He's going to attack soon. We should start to monitor the situation."

"He probably already knows we're here, Adeline." Herbert argued.

"Oh, yes." The woman named Adeline agreed. "But for now, he's gathering strength and preparing to set his plan in motion."

"Are you sure that of all the people involved, he's going to attack this guy?"

"I'm absolutely certain, Herb." She answered her friend. "After all, Jim Hopper is a perfect victim for him."