They Couldn't Change for the Worse

They Couldn't Stop the Voices, Chapter 1:

They Couldn't Change for the Worse

It's fifth year, and the train hasn't even pulled in to Hogwarts. How is Sirius the only one without a girl? A crazy spell could really turn things upside down…but they couldn't change for the worse.

"Ow, stop pushing!" squealed Lily as Sirius "accidentally" bumped into her for the third time that morning. Each time, the impact had sent her flying, lurching, or stumbling in mortal peril, and always straight into the welcoming arms of Mr. James Potter.

"Fancy running into you again like this, Evans," James said to Lily, grinning across at Sirius over the top of her head. Sirius grinned back and saluted the tangled couple playfully. "You really must be more careful, Sirius, mate. One of these days I won't be around to save Evans from you."

Lily rolled her eyes as she tried to straighten herself out. "Oh, but dearest," she said sweetly, "it seems as though you are always around. Especially where you're not particularly wanted." James opened his mouth to protest but Lily plowed on. "We're still only on the train and already you've been hounding me non-stop. I will not go out with you, James. Now, shall I just repeat that one hundred more times to take care of the rest of this year," she said scathingly, "or will once suffice?"

"Ouch," James commented, trying to keep his voice light. Behind him, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all cringed. James tried again, "Baby, its fifth year. Surely you've begun to develop some interest in boys by now?" This time, all the Marauders collapsed in laughter.

"It's none of your business who I've developed an interest in," Lily snapped, annoyed by how funny everyone but herself seemed to think James was. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to find Rosie." She turned on her heel and started to walk away.

She had only gone a few steps before she realized that though her feet were moving, she wasn't going anywhere. Whirling around, she found four boys, pathetically rolling around on the ground in front of her, shaking with silent laughter. Lily followed the hem of her robes, which miraculously led to nowhere other than the bottom of James's foot. She blushed scarlet and whipped out her wand angrily.

James's eyes widened. He had seen—and felt—the horrible things Lily could do with that wand. Innocently, he glanced down at his right foot and the robes caught underneath it. With a look of surprise plastered on his face, he lifted his foot and swept a gallantly low bow to Lily.

"I am so sorry for, um, impeding you, Your Majesty," he murmured. "I promise I will do whatever I can to win back your favor."

Lily couldn't help but crack a smile. She brushed James's head of messy hair, still bowed, lightly with her fingers as she passed, continuing down the train in search of her best friend.


"Gosh, Lily, he really likes you, doesn't he?" a reverent Rosie said, still rapt with attention as Lily recounted her morning—with less annoyance than usual, she noted—with the Marauders. "You're such a bitch for getting all the guys, you know that? You must be the luckiest girl in the world!"

Lily snorted. "The attention I get from James Potter could hardly make me the luckiest girl in the world, Rosie."

Rosie sighed. They'd been through this a hundred times over, but she still didn't get Lily sometimes. "But why do you hate him so much?"

"Because he doesn't really like me, Ro. To him I'm just the one who got away. The only girl he can't get to drool at his feet." Lily cocked an eyebrow pointedly at Rosie.

"Hey!" Rosie bristled. "I don't like him, okay? I just think you're a little crazy for not going out with him already. I mean, he's gorgeous. He's the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain! And he adores you, Lily. Really. Just think about it: you're the only girl who's ever—and will ever—tame the James Potter. He's a legend, and honey, you can be a legend too!"

Lily rolled her eyes. Sometimes Rosie could be so overdramatic, although Lily was sure that the tendency came from something hidden deep inside her friend. Rosie was always so shy and well-behaved, there had to be some part of her that wanted to be wild and crazy.

"What if I don't want to be a legend? That's precisely the kind of thing James Potter loves, and I hate!"

Rosie sighed. "So I guess this is a bad time for me to beg you to come with me to the Marauders' compartment, then."

"What?! Why would you want to go there??"

"Well…you know…" Rosie was being really unhelpful. Finally she scrunched up her face like it was taking her a big effort and leaned over to whisper in Lily's ear, "Remus."

Lily felt a grin spread across her face involuntarily. It was only so predictable that Rosie would get a crush on Remus Lupin, who was adventurous like the rest of the Marauders, yet smart (which was hard to say for the others). He wasn't too bad looking, either. Remus and Rosie would make a cute couple, Lily thought.

"Come on, Lily, please!" Rosie begged.

She sighed. "Alright, let's go."

They walked down the hall, passing compartments that held Hogwarts students of all ages and Houses. Rosie peered none too inconspicuously into each one, looking for the boys. Then suddenly, about fifty feet ahead of them, a bang issued from one of the compartments; its door slid open unaided, and out flew a blob of black robes and blonde hair.

"That'll teach you to get in my face, Malfoy!" a familiar voice called. Other familiar voices cheered jubilantly. Lily turned to Rosie with a small smirk on her face as they watched Lucius Malfoy pick himself up off the ground and limp away in the opposite direction.

"Those would be our boys, Ro."

The Marauders were still congratulating Sirius on his latest triumph when Lily and Rosie stuck their heads in the door. Steeling herself, Rosie said casually, "Oh, I knew it was you guys when I heard a domestic disturbance."

Sirius grinned proudly. "Who else would it be, babe?" Rosie flushed until she was nearly purple, and in her flustered state lost all her prepared confidence.

Lily, stepping into the compartment, prepared to save her. Thank god Remus doesn't talk like that, she thought. Rosie doesn't even like Sirius and she's a puddle around him.

But Rosie didn't need any saving because James noticed Lily and yelled "Evans!" As everyone's heads whipped to the door again, Rosie took the opportunity to dive into the empty seat next to Remus, who had an open book on his lap. She shot him a shy smile tentatively, which he returned.

Meanwhile, Lily had noticed that the only seat left was the one between James and Peter Pettigrew. She took it, shooting several unhappy glances at Rosie, who actually looked very happy, as did James. He seemed unable to believe his luck.

"So, Evans, what brings you two here?" he asked, looking so eager and happy that once again Lily had to fight the urge to smile. James Potter thought he was such a big man, but right now he could've been five and presented with the biggest lollipop he had ever seen.

Lily's eyes narrowed in thought, her lips parted as she began to say something. Maybe Rosie was right. Maybe James really liked her, impossible though it seemed. Things more impossible had happened to Lily before. She was a witch, after all. So why not this? Why not humor the poor boy a little?

It goes against all of your morals and convictions, part of her argued. He might begin to think you actually like him.

James Potter will take whatever he can get from me, her more arrogant half remarked.

In the corner, Rosie was frozen in nervousness just by being in the vicinity of Remus Lupin. She looked at Lily beseechingly for help, which made up Lily's mind immediately. She would take the pressure off of them for a while, by drawing everyone's attention elsewhere. She would show Rosie how the game was played. Lily grinned. This could even be fun.

Her green eyes locking onto James's hazel ones, she leaned forward. "Why do you think I came?" she asked softly. Behind her, she heard little gasps of shock from Sirius, Remus, Peter, and Rosie.

James looked surprised. "Well—er—to yell at me, I guess. But if you've got other things in mind…"

Lily laughed. "Oh, you're such a kid, James. You remind me of a dog, you know, panting and drooling all over the place when I'm around." Sirius let out his bark-laugh, which suddenly changed to a cry of protest as Lily, without further ado, slid onto James's lap.

"Hey, I'm more of a dog than he is, so why don't I get that treatment from you?" Sirius whined. "I'm Padfoot, for god's sake!" His gaze suddenly alighted on Rosie, toward whom he spread his arms and said, "Hey, Ro, come comfort a lonely old dog, huh?"

Rosie seemed to have regained her composure because she rolled her eyes as everyone else laughed. "Sorry, Sirius," she said remorsefully, "but I prefer my animals a little more intelligent than you." She placed a hand on Remus's arm meaningfully. Remus looked up, a bit startled, but recovered quickly. Soon he and Rosie were engaged in a quiet conversation in their corner of the compartment. Neither of them had eyes for anyone else.

Convinced that she had done her job in helping Rosie, Lily turned back to the boy on whom she was sitting. James appeared to be staring straight ahead, at a point that was curiously close to Lily's own chest. Several hours ago this would have bothered her to no end. Now, suppressing sudden giggles, she put her fingers under James's jaw and raised his face until he was looking into hers.

"I have no idea why I'm doing this," she whispered to him truthfully. "But honey, this is a once in a lifetime chance, so you better make it good."

Feeling utterly strange and giddy, she took the hand of his that was not already around her and guided it toward where James had been staring with such fascination.

Sirius looked around with disbelief at the two cuddly couples, and then said to Peter, "I think we might've missed the opening of the first stash of the year. They have got to be stoned out of their minds."

Peter shook his head. "Who would've thought Lily Evans would ever come around?"

Sirius didn't answer. He was too busy thinking about the girls that he had ever snogged. How many of them had meant as much to him as Lily meant to James? "The lucky bastard," he muttered, getting up in search of the lady with the food cart.

As the train approached Hogwarts, rain pattered down on the roof and slid in sheets off the windows. Peter had gone off to do god-knows-what, Sirius had sulkily returned to the Marauders' compartment, and Lily, who had come back to her senses, was now sitting and chatting with Remus, while a dismayed James and Rosie looked on.

"This is boring," James complained to Sirius. "Evans just gave me the best train ride to Hogwarts ever and now no matter what happens nothing can compare to it." He frowned, grumpy.

"Oh, shut up, mate. Be happy with what you can get."

"If I had done that, Sirius, I never would've waited for Evans to come around, huh? You give the worst advice."

Sirius shrugged. "You're stupider than I thought if you actually listen to me."

"Oh, won't you two just give it a rest?" cried Rosie. She cast about in her mind for a suitable topic to distract the two grouchy boys. "Um….hey, I was reading this book—me and Remus were talking about it earlier—called Unconventional Spell-types and I found this Mind-Sharpening Spell that would really come in handy this year, you know, with the OWLs and all."

James and Sirius immediately sat up. "Mind-Sharpening Spell?" James asked. "I've never heard of it."

"I have." Remus and Lily had stopped talking to listen to Rosie. Remus frowned as he said, "It's not very well-known, for obvious reasons. But all the teachers know about it. It's supposed to be dangerous because it's hard to cast it exactly right, to get the right results."

There was a silence as everyone thought about the benefits and consequences. Sirius was the first one to pull out his wand and say, "Well, come on, let's do it!"

"It's not that simple," Rosie said, shaking her head. "You have to do it right before you go to sleep, to let it sink into your brain. Even if you do it right now, I think you'll just end up falling asleep anyway."

"Plus, it's really complicated wandwork. I'm not sure I want to do this. Who knows what might happen if it goes wrong?" Remus said.

Lily, too, looked worried. "Is this legal? What'll McGonagall and Dumbledore do to us if they find out?"

Sirius snorted. "Of course it's not legal, Evans. Otherwise everyone's minds would be so sharp you could pop a balloon on 'em. But it is OWL year this year, and nobody has to find out. Is there a way to weaken the effects a little so it doesn't look suspicious?"

James laughed. "Yeah, because Padfoot suddenly passing his classes would be very suspicious indeed."

Rosie, shrugging, said, "I guess there is. I'll look it up for you. But there's no way I'm letting you cast it on me," she told Sirius pointedly. "It has to be someone who knows what they're doing." She smiled at Remus.

Remus still looked hesitant, but nodded slowly. Rosie was cool; she seemed like she would be reasonable about his little problem, if they ever got close enough for him to tell her. Remus felt like his mates were always having all the fun…he wanted to be the one with the girl for a change. And if all he had to do was perform a little spell to get her to like him…who was he to say no?

Nothing much could scare Lily Evans, but the idea of this Mind-Sharpening Spell terrified her. To tamper with the human mind was crazy, suicidal. The consequences of such a blunder would be more than just a detention or two.

But strangely, as her eyes scanned the room and met with a certain hazel pair, she was reminded of how much fun life could really be. She felt calm, yet impulsive, and it felt like some of James Potter was rubbing off on her...

Shaking her head to clear away these bizarre thoughts, Lily said, "So, it has to be at night, Ro? We need to be absolutely sure nobody will know about this. How about the common room at eleven tonight, after everyone has gone to sleep?"

"Hey, that's the spirit, Evans!" James cried, extending an arm out to yank Lily closer to him. Thoughtfully he said, "You know, you're different this year. It's really starting to scare me."

Lily smiled, considering him thoughtfully. "You know, we could be friends, James. It's not that hard."

Rosie, Remus, Sirius, and James all groaned. "What've we been trying to tell you for the last four years?"

After the first dinner feast of the year, the Marauders, Lily, and Rosie all piled onto a couch in front of the fire to wait for the Gryffindor common room to empty. Throughout the evening more than one curious glance was directed their way. After all, they were a most unlikely group: three of the most notorious troublemakers Hogwarts had ever seen, the sworn enemy (and hopeless crush) of one of the aforementioned, and her slightly less famous but equally out-of-place best friend. In fact, if the five had not been deep in conversation, they might have felt uncomfortable with the scrutiny of the other Gryffindors.

Finally, Sirius rolled up the parchment lying on the table in front of him, stretched, and said, "I can't do this anymore. Anyway, I got a good night's work in."

Remus looked over, surprised. "You were working?" Then he caught sight of Sirius's OWL application essay, which was comprised of only two words at the very top of the parchment: Sirius Black. Remus laughed.

"What?" Sirius looked hurt. "I was. Or, I appeared to be working. That takes at least as much, if not more, effort than actually doing it. Don't you think it would've looked suspicious for all of us to be sitting here all night without at least appearing to do some work?"

Everyone laughed. Remus opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it. There was nothing he could say, because what Sirius had said made sense, in a twisted, nonsensical way. Rolling his eyes, Remus tossed his own OWL application essay at Sirius. "Only because I'm in a good mood," he warned.

Sirius grinned knowingly and snatched up the essay. He winked and said, "Thanks, babe," to Rosie, who didn't blush this time. She was holding on to Remus's arm, stomach churning as she grew more and more nervous about the spell they were about to perform on each other.

"It's eleven," James said abruptly. He looked around and still saw a few seventh-years sitting in a far corner. One of them was a prefect. "I think they're keeping an eye on us," he whispered to Lily and Sirius, who were sitting on either side of him. "We are the Marauders. Let's go up and come back down in…let's say, twenty?"

Lily relayed the message to Remus and Rosie while James stood up, yawning and saying loudly, "Well, I'm heading up. You coming, Padfoot?" He and Sirius leapt up and headed to the boys' dormitories. The prefect in the corner relaxed considerably.

"Thanks so much for helping me with my essay, Remus," Rosie simpered after another few minutes, shooting a look at Remus, who caught on immediately. Rosie made a big show of rolling up the piece of parchment with Sirius's name on it and she and Lily went up to the girls' rooms while Remus went in the opposite direction. The older students followed them up the stairs and entered their own rooms.

After the shuffling and the creaking of the floorboards in the dormitories above them had ceased, the Marauders and the girls snuck back down the stairs. They huddled in the corner next to the fire, as far away from the portrait hole as possible. That way, they could hide if McGonagall came in on one of her frequent common room checks, initiated a few years ago after a bunch of sixth and seventh-years were caught in a late-night, raging firewhiskey party. Needless to say, the perpetrators' punishments had scared even the Marauders, who back then were only eleven years old.

"Okay, I brought all the information I could find," whispered Rosie, laying open two books. "This one, Advanced Charming Theory: Changing Human Configuration, just describes the effects of it without telling you how to cast the actual spell. Will you please read it before you go brandishing your wands at everyone?" She glared at Sirius, who, sure enough, already had his wand out.

Everyone crouched over the small print of the book. Lily gasped, and James exclaimed, "It actually increases your memory capacity? That's amazing! And it helps both the logical and creative parts of the brain…and causes faster reactions..." He continued to read silently, until he came to the bottom of the page. "'…has now been extended to account for emotional and irrational complications, and so provides a soothing and logical voice in face of these problems.'"

"What the hell does that mean?" Sirius asked, frowning.

"I think it's supposed to help you think clearly even when you're angry or scared, or something. It probably had something to do with the ethical issues of the spell itself," Remus said.

"Ethical issues?" Lily whispered roughly. "Remus, that's the point, this isn't ethical! This book never meant for us to actually cast it, remember?"

She was panicking. James laid a comforting hand on her shoulder until her breathing calmed of its own accord. Lily bit her lip confusedly, but said nothing.

"Okay, now this one," Rosie said, holding out Unconventional Spell-types. "You're supposed to circle the person's head clockwise once with your wand, saying 'Intelligencio,' then circle it again. The hard part is the knot you have to draw with your wand to tie together the two ends of the spell. You tie the knot differently depending on how much you want to increase your brainpower."

"And if you don't do it correctly?" James asked, looking worried for the first time.

"Then it doesn't work," Rosie said. "But the thing you have to watch out for is that nothing leaks out of your brain while it's vulnerable from the spell. If you cast the spell right, but don't tie the knot, you run the risk of losing the knowledge and thoughts you already have. The knot is what holds it all together."

"Shit," whispered Remus. "How do you take it off then?"

"Circle ante-clockwise, of course. And say 'Intelligencio' again. The knot should just fall off by itself."

"Well, what do you think?" whispered James. He was looking at Sirius, but Lily felt him squeeze her arm and knew he was asking her. She didn't know what to say. "Should we go for it?"

Sirius couldn't think. Ever since he had come to Hogwarts, he had been brave, played pranks, spoken back to teachers, skipped countless detentions, and served even more. He had always been a risk-taker, but he honestly didn't know whether he wanted to take such a big one. Finally he spoke. "Only if Moony will be the one to do it on me."

Remus felt his breath freeze inside his contracting chest. He had known all afternoon, of course, that it would come to this. He was always the one upon which the responsibility was shoved; he appreciated that his friends trusted him so much, but now that it was so real, he couldn't stand the thought of this particular liability. What if he did something wrong? How could he ever forgive himself if he messed Sirius up for good?

Rosie smiled at him. "I know he'll do a good job, Sirius." Such a simple statement. Such unyielding trust. Remus nodded slowly.

"Let's all practice the knot first, just in the air," Lily said. And it was quiet for the next ten minutes or so as wands waved, drawing invisible knots; all five teenagers scrunched their brows and squinted in concentration. Rosie and Lily clenched their wands so tightly that their fingers turned white.

Finally Remus stopped. "I'm ready," he said, shaky but certain. He sat down in one of the squishy common room armchairs, and Sirius kneeled before him. It was such an absurd sight, James almost laughed before he caught sight of the slightly nauseous expression on Lily's face.

"Intelligencio," Remus murmured. This time, as his wand waved through the air, a pearly line of mist remained, marking a circle around Sirius's head. He circled again, and tied up the two ends with a motion like two consecutive figure-8s and a jab through the middle. Rosie held her breath as the mist faded away and Sirius's eyes slid out of focus, like he had been Confunded. She had thought the knot was two figure-8s and a flick around the middle…

But as suddenly as he had changed, Sirius came back to, and stood up quite normally. "Well?" asked Remus anxiously. "Do you feel smarter?"

Sirius grinned. "No, but no thoughts fell out either. Nice one, Moony. Hey, since I'm smarter now, I'll do the next person!"

James bit his lip, but took his spot in front of Sirius. Padfoot, after all, was his best mate: if Sirius knew James didn't trust him, it would hurt him. James closed his eyes and kept them closed, though he could still hear Sirius muttering, "Intelligencio."

Although she knew it was coming, Lily had to clamp her lips together to keep from screaming out as James swayed and collapsed onto Sirius's lap. No! Her brain cried. She breathed so deep a sigh of relief when he came to that she was unable to draw breath again for several more seconds. Why did she care so much all of a sudden? Lily didn't even know. It didn't make sense…today, on the train, she had only been pretending…

Sirius peered into his best friend's eyes intently. James was still sprawled on his legs. "Prongs…you decent? You had a nasty fall there…"

"What the…why the hell am I in your lap, Padfoot? Trying to take advantage of my momentary helplessness?"

Remus, now sure that James was okay, was shaking with laughter. Rosie cracked a smile too, but Lily was still crouching on the ground tensely. Strangely enough, the thought of performing the spell on someone else scared her much more than being the recipient of it. "I'll go next," she said.

"Want me to do it, Flower?" James asked. Flower…her breath caught in her throat and she couldn't speak, but her eyes welled up with tears and she bowed her head, letting her eyes flow as James performed the spell, free hand clutching onto both of hers. The others attributed her tears to fright. She didn't try to hold them back.

James made the same knot as Remus, and got ready to catch Lily before she hit the ground. She was crying, but she had placed everything into his hands. She trusted him to do it…and that was really something.

Rosie stepped forward expectantly as Lily rose from James's arms, but Lily shook her head. "No. I can't do it." Tear tracks still sparkled on her cheeks. "I mean, I don't know if I can. Remus will do it for you."

Remus took a deep breath and steadied his wand. He had done it once, and he could do it again. He cared for Rosie no differently than he cared for Sirius…Intelligencio…his wand twirled and jabbed, and it was done. When Rosie came to, she was smiling widely. Leaping up, she engulfed Remus in a tight, grateful hug, and Remus thought that the apprehension, the tightness in his gut that was now unraveling, had all been worth it.

Sirius, who had been thinking to ask whether Rosie was up to casting the spell on Remus, kept his mouth shut. He already knew the answer, and asking the question would only cause him injury that could otherwise be avoided.

Rosie cast the spell, and the last of the mist around Remus's head was fading away when the portrait door suddenly banged open. Instinctively, all five drew their wands, but the only thing that crawled through the hole was a surprised and angry Professor McGonagall. She took one look at the five wands pointed at her and lost it.

"Wands?!" she shrieked. "Wands out and performing spells in the common room? And what is all this fog?"

"Shit," muttered James. "Shit, shit, shit."

McGonagall seemed to have forgotten all about what time it was, which they could only be grateful for. Instead she said, voice shaking with anger, "Explain yourselves. Miss Evans?"

Lily's tears had dried, and she thought very quickly while putting on the expression of one who had been wrongly accused. "Professor, we didn't mean anything! It's just that…well, Peter's birthday is coming up soon and we wanted to do something for him. He's always wanted a party on a ship, so we thought maybe we could make some fog and water and sand…but it's so hard! We've been practicing!"

She held up Rosie's books, which were too far away for McGonagall to read the titles. She pretended to be on the brink of bursting into tears.

"Oh—but—Miss Evans, it is against school rules to perform unapproved magic," McGonagall said, though her face softened. "Detention, all of you, Sunday afternoon to Professor Slughorn's office. You're lucky I'm only giving you one day. Good night." And she marched out of the common room as quickly as she had come.

The five looked around at each other, sighing with relief. "Hey, nice going, Evans," Sirius said approvingly. "You just saved our necks."

"Slughorn…thank god. You couldn't ask for an easier detention, especially since Lily's with us," Rosie said. James winked at Lily, who was blushing.

"I'm just a good Potions student, that's all," she said loftily once she had pulled herself together. "Teachers always like good students."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Remus said, yawning. "I'm a good student, but he doesn't like me like that, does he?"

"Who would?" Sirius elbowed him and yawned, too.

Rosie opened her mouth like she was about to say something to defend Remus, but instead was caught up by a yawn of her own.

It was quite a sight, as all five began yawning helplessly while they staggered up to their respective dorms. They all felt inexplicably exhausted, as Rosie had warned they would. It wasn't until the following morning that they would feel the effects of their late-night experiment.

Author's Note: So, did you guys like it? This is my first fanfic on here so it means a lot to me if you could review. PLEASE?