Disclaimer- I don't own The Lone Gunmen, Morris Fletcher or Mulder and Scully. I do own the taxi driver, and no-one can use him without my permission! Scenes have been taken from the episode "Three of A Kind" with irrelevant dialogue removed.
Category- Humour
Rating- PG13
Summary- missing moments from the episode "Three of a Kind" with a drugged Scully.
What Dana Did Next.
"Scully" Langly called from the area adjoining the autopsy bay.
He stumbled back into the room to find Scully unconscious on the floor. He hurried over to her and revived her.
"Scully, wake up! Are you okay"
He supported her back as she tried to sit up.
"What happened" Scully asked, dazed.
"I'm thinking that you got a little queasy and took a header. You know blood and guts can bother some people."
Scully removed her mask and spoke slowly.
"Yeah, I guess."
"You gonna be alright"
She turned to look at him.
"Sure, cutie."
Langly looked extremely confused. Scully struggled back to her feet, swaying slightly. She grabbed the sheet from the foot of the table and quickly pulled it up, covering the body.
"So... you're done with Jimmy" Langly checked.
"Done, done, done." She tried unsuccessfully to push the table back "How do you roll this thing"
"Uh, Scully? What killed him"
"My medical opinion"
Langly nodded.
"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP" said Scully, and she clapped her hands together loudly.
"And that's all you found"
"That's all I know."
She tried to push the table again, but lost her footing and slipped, falling to the floor again.
"Scully"
"I'm fine, cutie" she said, staggering to her feet "Just... a little sleepy, that's all."
"Are you heading back to the hotel" he asked her, a little worried.
"No… no, no, no." She said as firmly as she could. "I have something important to do."
"Scully... I don't think you should be driving, if you're tired."
"You take the car... I'll get a cab to the shiny hotel." she giggled.
-
They eventually left the Clark County Morgue. Scully had tried to change her clothes in front of Langly, but he had rushed out of the room, following his common sense for a change.
Several cabs were parked outside waiting for business.
"Which one... which one" Scully mused as Langly got into their car.
She selected the one at the front of the row.
"Where to, Sweetheart" The cab-driver asked as she slid into the back seat.
"Just follow the guy with the Barbie-Girl hair" she said, gesturing out of the window, but Langly had already driven away.
The driver looked at her suspiciously.
"Just drive me to the hotel with the "DEF-CON '99" conferences. Or is it death-con"
"You have the cash for this" he asked her, assuming she was just another Vegas drunk.
"Sure thing... Just take what you need." Scully slurred, and she threw her purse over to him.
"Well, that'll be 12." He told her, unsure of what to do.
He noticed the FBI identification that Scully had hastily thrown in there when she got changed, after blowing the body a goodbye kiss.
"Hey... are you trying to overcharge me" She asked him brightly, but her hands were sliding down her waist to the holster her weapon was strapped in.
He noticed this and glanced nervously at her.
"Relax beautiful, I'm not gonna shoot you" she giggled. A sudden thought came into her now-empty pretty head.
"Actually... can you take me to a phone booth"
"Sure" he said, breathing a sigh of relief - the drunk agent might get out sooner. "Which phone booth" he asked.
"Just... a phone both" she exclaimed and she bent over in a fit of manic laughter.
Uneasily the taxi driver handed back her purse and drove her to the nearest phone booth he knew how to get to.
"Can you walk to the hotel from here" he asked her.
"Whatever" she sighed.
The driver pulled over, and Scully threw a 100 bill at him.
"Keep the change" she whispered seductively, and she slammed the door shut.
"Now, who will I call..." she asked herself absent-mindedly as she wandered to the phone booth. She went to close her bag, when she noticed something.
"Hey... my cell phone. I forgot 'bout that, she murmured.
She took it out and checked the address book. "A.D Skinner..." she said aloud, looking at her first entry.
She pressed 'call'
"Skinner" he answered, after the third ring.
Scully breathed into the handset, and hung up.
A few seconds later, he called back.
"Agent Scully, is that you" he asked.
"I'm sorry dear, you have the wrong number" she told him in her best fake British accent, and hung up again.
She doubled up in laughter at her piss-poor prank phone call.
Time for one more... she thought
"Mom... or Mulder. Mom... or Mulder" Scully asked a nearby tree stump. When the tree stump refused to answer, she used more drastic measures.
Eeny, meeny, miny moe
Catch a tiger by the toe
If it squeals let it go,
Eeny, meeny miny moe .
"Guess it's Mulder then" she announced brightly to the tree-stump.
She pressed to call his cell. When she got no answer, she remembered what the Gunmen had said about his phone being messed up. "He's probably spent 200 for the naked whore to teach him how to shoot machine guns. Why didn't I consider that as a career..." She thought about this for a few second, before she started laughing again.
"I'll leave him a message at home" she told the tree-stump decisively, wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes.
"This is Fox Mulder. I'm not here, leave a message."
"Mulder, it's me." She giggled uncontrollably. "It's Scully." She slurred. "Hehehehe, well it's Dana Scully. Of course it's Dana! Who else would it be but me? Hehehe." She lowered her voice to a whisper. "Guess what, Mulder? I bet you can't guess the last time I had an orgasm? It was... 6 months ago" She confessed, through her laughter. "And the last time I was actually with a man, hell it's gotta be ten times that! I bet you've had sex with a man since then, and you're straight! The cutie told me your phone was out of order. Your cell that is. I find that VERY HARD TO BELIEVE, Fox Mulder! Because I told you, a few years ago that if you had to do without a cell phone for two minutes, you'd lapse into catatonic schizophrenia. Or something like that... I forget. But it's true! Hey, I gotta go"
She turned, and almost tripped over the tree-stump.
"Sorry" she apologised to it, sincerely.
Finally back at the hotel, Scully sat in the hotel bar surrounded by a hoard of men. She had tried to stuff a 20 bill into a slot machine, then given up and left it on the floor.
"You're a foxy one." Morris Fletcher told her.
She smiled sweetly. "No, that's my partner"
A few of the guys looked slightly uncomfortable, until she whispered innocently"he's not here"
Frohike heard a loud, familiar laugh coming from that area.
"Scully"
"Aw, hey. Long time, no see."
The man to Scully's right leaned in and whispered something into her ear.
"No, that's not nice. I like Hickey" she scolded him.
Scully rubbed Frohike's head, messing up his hair. he smoothed it back down again. A moment later, a pack of cigarettes is held out by Morris Fletcher.
"Cigarette"
Scully leaned in and seductively removed a cigarette from the pack with her lips.
"You don't smoke" Frohike commented.
"But who's got a light"
In less than a second, a dozen lighters popped up in front of her.
"Well... I just can't decide who lights my fire…"
"That's it" he grabbed the cigarette from Scully's mouth and threw it to the ground. "Alright, you dandies, back off. This is Special Agent Dana Scully of the FBI. If you so much as touch her, you may be committing a federal offence."
"Come on, come on" he told Scully as he tried to pull her away as she vaguely protested.
As he did so, Fletcher said his goodbyes.
"We could have been stardust."
"Maybe next time."
She slapped Fletcher on the ass before Frohike got her away.
-
The Lone Gunmen's hotel door opened and Frohike entered with a stumbling Scully.
"Hi" she said to the room.
"Settle down, settle down."
He sat Scully down on the bed.
"Okay, okay, okay, okay" she said, laughing and grinning.
"I found Agent Scully-go-lightly holding court ... " Scully grabbed Frohike's ass, interrupting him "... bar"
"I've never seen her drunk before..." Byers commented.
Susanne Modeski checked Scully's eyes. "God, this can't be"
She checked Scully's hair and head for a needle puncture, while Scully, grinning from ear-to-ear, pretended to tickle her.
"Hi ..." Scully said.
Susanne found the needle puncture just behind Scully's right ear.
"She's not drunk, look at this. That was made by an injector gun."
"Well, what the hell was she injected with"
Scully shrugged her shoulders and held her hands out palms up in an "I don't know" gesture, still laughing like a lunatic.
"It's derivative of AH gas. AH, anoitic histamine, my latest creation."
Scully made a face quietly, pursing her lips in an "o".
"I could have developed it years ago, but I held off. I wasn't about to let those bastards I work for get their hands on it."
Scully frowned.
"Grant thought that if we secretly developed a small batch, and then destroyed the notes, that we would have the proof we needed to go public. We'd also have a weapon we could use against them."
Scully shrugged her shoulders again.
Susanne filled a syringe with a chemical as Langly entered the room.
"This will counteract the anoitic effect" she informed them.
"Hi, cutie." Scully said when she noticed Langly.
Susanne injected Scully
"Ow ... just a little prick ..." Scully said weakly before she passed out.
"Bad trip" Langly asked Susanne.
"Nah, she'll be fine. She just needs to sleep it off."
-
3 days and 3 ass-kicking's later, Scully was back in D.C., still wondering about Frohike's "Party Girl" comment and where that 132 had disappeared to.
She knocked on the door of Apartment 42 in Mulder's building.
He answered the door.
"Sorry Scully, I know I'm late, my alarm clock is acting up." He let her in, then ran about frantically, trying to get ready.
"This is becoming more frequent, Mulder..." she said in mock-seriousness.
"Far too frequent if you count that Monday I was late hundreds, maybe even thousands of times."
"Ah yes, the deja vu day." Scully said, making "air-quotes" with her fingers as she said it.
"Scully, you know you are my better half, but if you ever use air-quotes again, I'm going to have to shoot you" he called as he disappeared into his bedroom.
Scully sighed and sat on the couch, assuming he'd be a few minutes. She saw his answering machine flashing.
"Mulder, you have a message" she called to him.
"Can you get it and tell me" Mulder shouted over the sound of running water.
Scully pressed 'play'.
Mulder it's me. Her voice came from the machine. There was muffled giggling. Scully was extremely shocked. It's Scully. Hehehehe, well it's Dana Scully. Of Course it's Dana! Who else would it be, but me? Hehehe. Guess what, Mulder? I bet you can't guess the last time I had an orga-
Scully's eyes widened and she slammed her hand down on the stop button. Suddenly, memories of that night came rushing back to her. She quickly slipped the tape into her bag. She'd put a new one in later, it didn't matter if Mulder missed a couple of calls, he had no social life anyway.
She still wasn't sure exactly what had happened after the autopsy, but she knew one thing - that tape was getting destroyed.
Viva Las Vegas!
The End
