Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, the show or anything related to Criminal Minds.
A/N:This is my entry for Chit Chat on Author's Corner the Valentine's Day Gift Fic Exchange
This is my gift for Bren Gail
Pairing: Hotch/Garcia
Prompts:
The Song: Beautiful Disaster (Kelly Clarkson)
heartbroken over a past love/relationship
the language of flowers
a goodnight kiss leads to one thing which leads to another
This will be a six chapter fic.
This Chapter takes place during "The Slave of Duty"
Chapter One: White Roses at a funeral
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
And more heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain't right
It just ain't right - Beautiful Disaster, Kelly Clarkson
Haley Hotchner was dead.
Penelope Garcia didn't know her well, in fact she had only met her boss's ex-wife a few times. She seemed like a very nice person. Given she didn't know Haley very well, some would think odd how sad Haley was dead. The whole team was sad as well. The feeling of sadness and grief was in the air, and it was made worse by Chief Strauss's witch hunt after Hotch killed George Foyet, the man who killed Haley.
Every question Strauss asked was engineered to put blame on Hotch. When it was Garcia's time in the hot seat, she couldn't quite says what she was thinking. She told Strauss the wrong questions were being asked. What she stopped short of saying, was that Strauss shouldn't be trying to put the blame on Hotch. The reason a U.S. Marshall and Haley were dead was because of George Foyet, period. More importantly, though, the right question was how were Aaron and Jack going to go on without Haley?
Aaron. It seemed odd to use her boss's first name, even only in her thoughts. It was one thing to use a nickname, she did that with everyone. Using his first name, though...it crossed a line. Just like accusing the Section Chief of Behavioral Analysis of pursuing a vendetta against an agent was crossing a line. One she couldn't quite bring herself to cross.
She knew why all of this seemed so painful. Foyet targeted Hotch, but an attack on him was an attack on everyone. Especially, Garcia thought, since we aren't a team. We're a family. She loved them all and couldn't imagine her life without them in it. Whenever some thing bad happened to one of them, she felt it. Ever since Foyet attacked Hotch, Garcia saw the change in him. They all did, but knowing what to do about it was always the challenge. What should you do to help? What can you do without making things worse?
Once the hearing was over, and Hotch was cleared, the next part came.
It was a lovely funeral. Jessica didn't know very much about the other FBI agents. They seemed to make up the pallbearers. There was Morgan and Rossi. Anderson and two others. They weren't on the team. One of the two wasn't even an FBI agent. She later learned both them were dating female members of Aaron's team. They all seemed so sad. Jessica could tell they felt the loss of Haley as acutely as she did. It was the way each one laid a white rose on the grave, as if they were literally leaving a piece of their heart with Haley.
After the ceremony, during the reception, one of them walked up to her. She somewhat short, plump, wearing a black dress and a purple hat. Her nails and lipstick matched the purple hat perfectly.
"Hello, Jessica. My name is Penelope Garcia. I didn't know Haley that well, but I know how much Aaron loved her." She gently touched Jessica's hand. Her skin was warm to the touch. "I know there aren't words that take away the pain, but know we all feel your loss." Jessica could tell from the woman's voice and the look on her face she meant every word.
"Thank you. I'm glad you can be there for Aaron."
"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about. We both know Aaron is going to try to be strong. But if you think something's wrong, if there's anything we can do, I want you to call me."
"That's very good of you. Shouldn't you be telling him that?"
"I did. I'm not a profiler, but I know him. I don't think he'll ask for help. I'm guessing you know that. I would stay but..." she hesitated,"we have a case. I have to go. We all do. But if there's something you need. Just call me." Garcia gave Jessica a card.
Jessica saw Aaron's team leave. She also saw the loss on their faces. Was that because they had to leave fore a case? Or because they had to leave without Aaron?
She looked at her ex-brother-in-law. Penelope was right. He would die before he asked for help. He would try to be strong. Even now she could see he was dying inside. He always seemed serious, even a teenager, she remembered. Haley always found a way to lessen that seriousness, and then he seemed human. Was there something anyone could do to help? Was there something she could do to help?
The next night, Jessica got a call on her cellphone. It was from a number she didn't recognize.
"Hello?"
"Hello, Jessica? I hope it's okay to call. It's Penelope Garcia, we met yesterday."
"Penelope? Yes, I mean it's okay. Does the fact you're calling mean the case is over?"
"No. I don't travel with the team unless they need me to. I usually help them from here. The thing is, I thought you might want to know Aaron is about to be offered retirement."
"What? I don't understand."
"Apparently Section Chief Strauss went to the director and got the authorization to offer him full retirement."
"How do you know?"
"Getting information is what I do for the team. I don't know what he's going to do. I'm not sure what he should do, but maybe he needs someone to talk to about it."
"This is what you meant, about helping?"
"There's a lot I can't do and a lot none of us can control. But today, you can help him make the right choice. Whatever that is. No matter what happens, remember anything we can do to help, we want to do."
"Thanks."
Jessica hung up the phone, and thought for a moment. She knew the same thing Haley did a few years ago, that Aaron needed the team as much as they needed him. He might take the retirement, so he can be with Jack. But somehow Jessica didn't think that would be good for either one of them. Being an Agent was as much a part of who he was and being a father to Jack was.
Jessica knew she had to convince Aaron not to take retirement. She had to convince him to let her help him take care of Jack.
After the team got back from the case, they received word that Hotch was coming back both as a team member and as team leader. Penelope Garcia felt a certain satisfaction in that. It felt like her family was back in place. She had something she had to do next.
She made a trip to the cemetery. She stood over the grave.
"Hey, Mrs. Hotchner. I'm sorry we couldn't do more to stop Foyet. I promise we did all we could. I promise we're going to help Aaron. I promise I'll do what I can to help him. I promise to help Jack believe in love. I don't how I'm going to do it, but trust me, I'll find a way. It's the least I can do."
A/N: We're going to work in all the prompts, but i'm taking a little time here because to me a Hotch/Garcia romance is a special sauce you set on simmer. I hope you enjoy it. The first few chapters will be a bit angsty, but there will be be some fun too.
