Hi there everyone! This is Joelle with the first installment of the crack story I am writing with my crazy friend Annas! Don't worry there will be more to come very soon. I just wanted to get something up here for you guys to enjoy. Reviews are greatly appreciated!
********************************************************************************
An irritating beep cut through the relative quiet of the Captain's quarters. At first, the two bodies beneath the sheets chose to ignore it. Whatever it was could wait. The sheets shifted and the sound of rapid, if not shallow, breathing filled the room. Moans cascaded off the walls in an odd harmony that was accompanied by the humming of the ship. The call echoed again, louder now, and this time it was followed by the squeaky voice of a nameless, wet-behind-the-ears, ensign.
"Bridge to Captain Kirk. Bridge to Captain Kirk!"
A disgruntled, nude Captain rolled out from under the covers enough to reach the comm. Why was this stupid ensign bothering him now anyway? Wasn't Bones supposed to be routing the calls tonight?
"Jim, get your ass out of bed!" came his CMO's voice over the comm.
"That's Captain Jim to you, Bones. Bridge this is Kirk, what do you want?" He replied; mustering as much irritated authority he could at - what time was it anyway? Actually, he didn't give a damn what time it was. He just didn't like being interrupted; he was already feeling the strain. He looked longingly back to what he was missing in bed before turning his attention back to the comm.
"Captain, we've been contacted by Starfleet. An Admiral is coming aboard with orders that will require your immediate attention. Shall I ask him to wait until morning?"
Jim groaned bitterly. Damn Starfleet. Of course, it was urgent. It was ALWAYS urgent. And of course they are the ONLY ship in the whole EFFING fleet that can do the job. Never mind if there were another ship that might be anywhere NEAR where their new assignment was. Nope. It HAD to be the Enterprise. Shaking his head and trying to ignore the throb in his lower regions he reached over to the comm. and pressed a button.
"No Ensign. I'll be up shortly to receive them myself. Have them wait for me in the Transporter room."
"Aye, Captain. Bridge out."
With that, Jim turned back to Uhura with a pissed off gaze, half-ruined by the lust that was still present. "Damn timing."
Uhura looked at him smugly. "Indeed, Captain."
******************************************************************************
After a quick shower, Jim was soon on his way to the Transporter room. Along the way, Jim mentally demanded what entity he'd pissed off in a past life. A voice in the back of his mind that sounded strangely like Bones pointed out that the entity would most likely have been female, or a very jealous male. Perhaps a pointy-eared, green-blooded god? Shuddering, Kirk decided to mentally review his last few minutes of freedom.
"I guess we'll have to continue at a later time, Captain?"
"Yeah, Come on. You'd better clean up or your boyfriend might kill me."
"What boyfriend, Captain?" she purred as Jim walked past her towards his drawers.
"You remember, the Pointy-Eared Bastard who already hates me?"
"Are you afraid of him, Captain?" She asked, her eyebrow mimicking his First Officer in a way that made his blood chill.
"Afraid?" he laughed. "No, but my throat is finally its normal color again after our first scuffle. I'd rather like to keep it that way," he said nonchalantly. He'd gotten dressed and waited until Uhura stepped into his shower before heading on his way.
Now the doors whooshed open to reveal the aforementioned half-Vulcan, who was in a deep, contemplative mood. Hugely thankful for his shower, Kirk slapped on a fake smile and clapped his First Officer on the shoulder.
"Mr. Spock, good to see you at this ungodly hour!" Kirk said brightly. He was amused when Spock tensed under his touch, but didn't shrink away. It was an improvement as far as Kirk was concerned. Sure it had taken six months to get this far but it was something. And in the mean time, Kirk got to enjoy Uhura's sexual tension since Spock was a prick and refused to sleep with her unless she wanted to mate with him for life. Said it had something to do with some mating thing that sounded like Gone Far…
"Captain," Spock said in his usual condescending tone. "I see you have decided to grace the Admiral with your presence after all."
"Was there ever any doubt, Mr. Spock?"
"Considering your distaste for regulations, it would not have been shocking if you chose to ignore the summons altogether, Captain."
"What? And miss the joys of listening to some stuck-up Admiral insult me and my crew and prance around like I'm not fit enough to lick the dirt off his regulation boots? Never!"
"I fail to see how you would derive joy from such experiences, as it is not logical, even within the context of humans and their illogical tendencies. However -"
"Spock," Kirk growled.
"Yes, Captain?"
"Shut up. That's an order. Understood?"
"……"
"Is that understood, Mr. Spock?"
"I do not see how you expect me to answer you Captain, if you have ordered me to 'shut up'."
Kirk resisted the urge to strangle his First Officer only because the Admiral suddenly materialized on the platform. Salutes were exchanged and the feud was quickly forgotten as the next mind-numbing meeting began...
