Realising
I wake with a start to see a pair of piercing blue eyes boring into my own. Those eyes that bring me so much comfort, so much ease. Those eyes that could only belong to one person. Peeta. How has it taken me so long to realise just how much I need him? I place my hand onto his jawline, tracing his sharp curve all the way up to his cheek.
He looks at me questioningly. "Katniss?"
"What's wrong?" I ask worried he's going to have another hijack attack. He places his hands on mine.
"Katniss" he says "I know it's been months since the war finished but I still…" He pauses for a second to arrange his thoughts. "I can't cope with the feeling of knowing I'm never going to see my family again. Never going to bake with Dad in the early hours of the morning. I'm never going to get the chance to have wrestling matches with my brother. I'm even going to miss my mother, despite how much I hated her."
It pains me to hear him talk this way. All this time I'd been so depressed about losing Prim, I'd never thought to ask him about how he felt. I've been so selfish and cruel. I suppose that's the way I've always been. I hate it.
"Peeta, I'm sorry." I say. "If it weren't for me your whole family would still be alive".
"Katniss it's not your fault" he says firmly.
"But I -"
"But nothing. I don't blame you. I could never blame you. I love you with all my heart."
Ouch. Just another reminder of how terrible a person I am. I've never told him I love him. How must it feel to love someone so much and not get any affection in return? I'm still not sure I'm even capable of loving someone in that way.
"Katniss, do you like me?" Peeta asks.
What? What does he mean do I like him? Of course I like him! I mean, I've saved his life multiply times, often risking my own to so. You don't just do that for anyone
"What? Of course," I say. "What kind of a question is that?"
"No, I don't think you get what I mean," Peeta says. He sighs and takes a deep breath before asking "Do you, or should I say, have you had any, you know romantic feelings toward me?"
This question catches me off guard. Do I have feelings for Peeta? Well, I find myself staring at him and his eyes more and more these days, but that doesn't necessarily mean I think of him in a romantic way…right? His kisses almost always leave me wanting more, but surely I can't have feelings for him. Besides, I'm not cable of that kind of love. But Peeta didn't say love, he just said romantic feelings. Oh my gosh! I like Peeta!
"Katniss?" he asks again.
"What? Oh, sorry, right um the question. Well, uh, I guess I do have feelings. Uh, romantic that is, um….." I stutter. I'm just not good with words. Peeta's the one that can turn them into magic.
He laughs. My face goes bright red, so I turn to hide it from him. But before I can he places his hand on my cheek. Slowly, very slowly, he pulls my face towards his. I close my eyes, anticipating the kiss that is sure to come. The kiss that will tell him what I'm not able to say. The kiss that will tell me what I'm not able to say.
Except, it doesn't come.
Instead, I feel a storm of spit splatter on my face as Peeta sneezes so violently that it propels him off the edge of the bed, bringing me down with him.
"Ouch!" we both exclaim.
"Are you alright, Katniss?" Peeta asks, concerned.
"Of course I'm not, not only did you just sneeze on my face you pushed me off the bed as well!" I growl at him.
"Katniss?" he says.
"What?" I spit as I get up and sit back down onto the bed.
"You're cute when you're mad".
If anyone else had said this to me, I would have been furious. But instead when Peeta says it, I just smile.
Yeah, I definitely like this boy.
Authors note:
This story is inspired by a prompt my sister found on tumblr. Reviews are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading!
