AN: I know, I know, another story?! Yeah, well, this idea just kinda came to me. I forgot it once and didnt want to forget it again. Oh, I can feel it now. This is gonna be a good one for me to write. I'm not really gonna place this in a season from the show. I'll just say that Rory is in her junior year and it's about mid-winter almost spring time. Almost everything else is the same but some stuff might change.
Summary: 'She's probably tired from trying to perfect what is already perfect' he thought sadly. What happens when someone makes Rory doubt herself? Will she transform into a perfectionist? Summary sucks. Pairing comes later. RandR.
'I'm just...not attracted to you anymore'
The words rang through her mind as she stared at herself in the mirror. Not attracted to her anymore? She was no longer attractive? What was wrong with her?
Those were some questions, among many others, that littered her mind. Was she too fat? Was she having skin problems? Was her care for her appearance just withering away? Was she beginning to look more sloppy? She didn't know for sure. As she stared at herself in the mirror all she saw was a beautiful girl. Creamy, porcelain skin, long and wavy chocolate-colored hair, and piercing blue eyes. She had never been overweight, infact, she had always been a few pounds underweight, despite her diet. So what was wrong with her? What made her seem unattractive? She couldn't find it in her appearance. She didn't want to sound conceited, but she knew she was pretty. She had been raised around comments such as 'What a pretty little girl'.
So why had he said such awful things to her?
So, here she stood, single. Her first boyfriend having dumped her on the grounds that she was apparently 'no longer attractive'. This drove her into denial. No, she wasnt pretty. She had believed lies all these years. Her care for how she looked didnt fade, but grew more obsessive. Now instead of spending ten or fifteen minutes getting ready, she spent close to an hour. And that could've just been brushing her hair. She was overly conscious of what she ate and drank and what kind of clothes she wore.
And who noticed? Among her entire family, friends, the town and her fellow classmates of Chilton, who had noticed this dramatic change?
Nobody. So far.
A loud ringing sound rang through a small room in a medium sized house located in a small town. Rory Gilmore groaned and smacked her alarm clock to silence the annoying sound. She rolled over and then forced herself to get out of bed and into the shower. As she let the soap run down her body she took note to her appearance. She was still the same way she had been last week, when Dean had dumped her. Shaking her head, still not able to fully comprehend his reasoning, she stepped out of the shower and dried off.
After her uniform had been pulled on she stepped back into the bathroom. She still had forty-five minutes left before she even had to think about leaving. This was her new routine. She got up an hour earlier than she used to and got ready. Then, around her old time of waking, her mother would get up and start breakfast while she remained in the bathroom. Then with ten minutes left she'd eat one poptart and drink a mug of coffee, then she was off to her bus stop.
Now she stood before her mirror, gazing at her reflection, her eyes scanning her face. She had never bothered with make-up before, but was now giving it a try. She would apply a light layer of cover-up, just to conceal the blemishes on her face that werent there. Then, she would apply a little bit of black eyeliner, and then light blue or white eye shadow. It brought out her eyes, but made her face feel heavier. She hated the feeling, but she needed to perfect her already perfect appearance.
After running a fine toothed comb through her smooth hair numerous times she finally decided it was good enough to hide in a tight ponytail. She walked back into her room and grabbed her backpack, dragging it out with her to the kitchen where her mother sat, half asleep in a chair. Rory walked over to the table and grabbed her poptart and coffee and took it out to the porch. Sitting on the swing she looked out on the front lawn and just thought.
She had been being a lot more of a loner lately. She enjoyed being alone a lot more, giving her more time to think, which made her think of more ways she was unattractive or imperfect. This particular morning, her thoughts brought her to a test she had taken the other day. She got an A-. A minus. That wasnt an A. That was an A followed by a minus. That meant it was less than an A. It was less than perfect. Like she was. She was no longer good enough. Infact, she never had been.
That was now burned in her mind. She was not good enough for anyone, for anything. No matter how hard she tried she never would be good enough. Taking a side step out of 'new Rory' she heard the 'old Rory' voice curse Dean for destroying her, before 'old Rory' was thrown out like useless trash by 'new Rory'. Shaking her head yet again, trying to clear thoughts that would never leave, she took her empty mug back into the kitchen and set it in the sink.
"I'm gonna go Mom. I love you"
"Love you too hun" her mother said as Rory gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and then departed. She pulled her backpack over her shoulders as she walked. She sat down on the bench and set her backpack down next to her. She never noticed how she was being watched from afar.
This person noticed the small things. Her backpack was no longer stuffed to the seam, but just sagged on her back. She no longer had a book in her hands as she waited, and there was no music blasting into her ears. All she did when she sat was stared at the ground, probably thinking. She was so much more quiet now. And he knew why. Because that bastard had killed her inside. He had heard every hurtful word come from his mouth and reach her ears. He had watched her eyes fill to the brim with tears that she refused to let spill. He had watched the vulnerability seep into her weak protests and watched her soul wither through her eyes.
He had watched her slowly die away from the person she used to be.
He had watched. But he had said nothing.
He now watched her board her bus and slump into a seat away from everyone else. He watched her head slowly move to lean agains the glass of the window and her eyes slowly close.
'She's probably tired from trying to perfect what is already perfect' he thought sadly.
AN: I know, kinda short, just a place to start. Please review and I'll have the next one out soon.
Sarah.
