Ambidextrous sighed. He could feel it happening again. falling. no way to turn around. no wish to... and for what? love? it was laughable. he had grown up knowing he was a catch. and yet he could never fall for just a girl.. Maybe it was because his owner brought so many strange girls to their neohome. made most girls into automatic sisters. the girls that did not become sisters were out of his league.
the his first love had been his adopted sister. she had been found in the pound, ugly name. unpronounceable as though her former owner had slammed their fingers into the keyboard and called it a day. level one. bad stats. blue techo... she had been such a nerd too. longing for books. reading anything she could get her hands on. Ambidextrous had taken into stealing the books for her from his owner's shop. and the techo had been happy. eventually Bento had bought a morphing potion and rehomed the now grey cybunny. over the next two years the human girl bought a lab map and started Zapping pets from the pound.
Ambidextrous had lost contact with the girl eventually. and bento even forgot her name. She was the only girl that ever returned his affections. only one that told him that, if they had not been adoptive sibling, she would have loved to love him. he had floated on air for awhile after she had been adopted. but bento stopped talking to the owner. they fought maybe... or maybe they just stopped talking. whatever happened they lost contact. and Ambidextrous felt his heart break. to add insult to injury the account was frozen later. and the pretty grey cybunny would laugh with him no more...
Ambedextrous had promised himself he would never fall for another girl... and for awhile he kept his promise. eventually though his eyes started wandering. it was then that the problems started. he could not forgive himself for falling again. hated his very existence because he was not being emotionally loyal... and yet the earth Faerie was so beautiful. Bento joked and teased him of course... but she would still fork up the NP to help him pay for her quest. hoping that one day she would take notice of him. then one day she asked for something Bento could not afford. but by that point bento had been invested in the quest. she wanted him to complete it. she convinced the Kougra to sell his petpet and buy the needed item with the money. it would have worked if the items had not been unbuyable only available on the trading post... he ran out of time... and realized how little he meant to the earth faerie...
Illusin had acted as though his previous quest had been pointless. as though he was being selfish by not getting the item on time. no forgiveness. she turned him out. made him start the quest again. so he gave up. went to his room. drowned his own sorrows in music and knitting. joined a book club. it was helpful. kind of anyway. the crushes continued though. a revolving door of insults to his first love. girls that she would never compare to. as though he was looking for anything that was not her. as though he not only had forgotten her but had never wanted her.
but he did. he wanted so badly to go back to those days when his biggest worry was whether or not the omelet would feed them all. when he and the cybunny had laughed together happy in each other's love... now he was doomed to one sided nonsense... it was for the best though. She did not deserve to be replace. she deserved so much more then he could give.
if he could not stay emotionally loyal to the cybunny the least he could do was make sure he only fell for girls that would not give him a second glance... this had become harder after Bento had been gifted a royal paint brush. suddenly girls started throwing themselves at him... and some boys as well.
he had begun his search for the next girl so out of his league she would not look at him twice. he found her. she was beautiful, strong, funny. she was older, wiser, and stronger then he was. and he counted her as a friend. she had been an obvious choice to crush on... but it hurt to speak to her now.
never had he felt so lonely talking to someone so close. he knew she would turn him down if he said a word... and it would serve him right to hurt the way he must have hurt the cybunny... and yet.. he did not want to change a thing.
it hurt to speak to her... but it would hurt more for her to not speak to him again. so he held his tongue. kept his mouth shut. laughed with her. hid his pain. ignored his feelings... and prayed that one day it would not hurt so much... he tried to search for a new crush... but for some reason he could not find anyone near as amazing as the girl... Bento told him it would get better. that heart break did not last forever. that soon enough he would find a new love of his life and move on... But Ambidextrous doubted that much... because when he spoke to the girl... he forgot about the cybunny. when he talked to the girl... she was the only one in the world.
he had replaced the love of his life with a new love... and that was, more than anything else, proof he did not deserve any girl at all.
"she's out of your league son..." Bento said running her fingers through the Royal Kougra's sandy hair...
yes... rub salt in the wound why don't you? he thought.
She was right though... some people were not meant to be loved. he closed his eyes. trying to concentrate on the cybunny he had known so long ago... but all he could see was her face... the face of his new love...
