This idea that's been on my mind for a while now paired up with insomnia has transformed into a flash fiction, drabble like sized multi-chapter fic. I don't know how long exactly it will be, but I do know that it won't be too long. Depending on my sleep patterns, it'll more than likely be updated every night. Umm...so, yeah, I think that's it. Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot...sort of.


Chapter 1 - Can't Be Selfish

It was about two in the morning when I awoke from a not so deep sleep.

My entire body was covered in sweat.

My face was tear stained with more tears still pouring out of my eyes.

The reoccurring nightmare that replayed that one single moment, over and over again, was awful. It just wouldn't go away. Every single night, my subconscious had been forcing the memory into my nightmares.

The only good thing about it was that it managed to scare, no pun intended, away the previous reoccurring nightmare.. But, for some reason that I didn't know and until recently didn't even think was possible, this nightmare was worse. And, honestly, I'd take the old nightmares back over this one in a heartbeat, if I could.

I had been having the new reoccurring nightmare ever since I made the decision to cut all ties with him for good and went to see him one last time and told him. It was probably the hardest decision of my life, but I had to do it.

My choice was mandatory. I couldn't let my stubborn and selfishness be my guide any longer. My choice was for the best.

Thanks to the nightmare, I could recite every word said by both of us. Even worse, the sight of the tears in his eyes during the hard goodbye were embedded in my brain.

The memory made me want to take back everything, jump into his arms and never let go, but I knew I couldn't. I had to be strong. I couldn't take the words back. No matter how much it killed me inside not to. This was for the best.

As I told him that day, it's not fair to keep being selfish with him. He deserved better than that. He deserved so much better than, the damaged goods, me.

"I can't. I'm sorry," I told him, apologetically, trying to hold back the tears that were pleading to be let out.

"Bella..."

You know what? Screw keeping the tears in.

"I can't keep hurting you this way. It's not fair to you or me. But, mainly it's not fair to you," I cried, letting the tears pour out of my eyes and down my face like they were a version of Niagara Falls.

"Bella, please..." he pleaded with me, his own eyes filled with tears as he reached forward to grab my arm.

I quickly moved out of his grasp, turned away, and ran to my truck. "Please, just let me go," I called back, my voice sounding just as horrible as I felt.

"Bella!" he called after me, his voice breaking.

I got into my truck and slammed the door, then I rolled the window down and looked at him, one last time.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized. "I just can't be selfish with you any longer. You deserve so much better than me."

And, then I drove away, refusing to look back because I knew exactly what sight I would be met with...and I just knew that it would absolutely kill me.

That was a week ago.

A week ago today.

The hurt I was feeling was so horrible.

It was even more horrible than the hurt I felt when Edward left me in the woods that day.

However, I knew in my heart that I still loved Edward. And, that I always would.

I also knew that it wasn't fair for me to string him along, knowing that.

Therefore, I was sticking to my guns...and cutting all ties with Jacob. No matter how bad it hurt me. I could not be selfish with him anymore. It just wasn't fair to either of us. Especially him.


Alright, so there it is!

Thoughts? Let me know. Review, please?!

Thank you!