Author's Note: This story is inspired by Silver pup's basic plotline of Counter Clockwise (a must-read), so I give credit to her and thank her for letting me borrow her idea. However, I will be placing new twists to that idea, so my story will be somewhat different from Silver pup's. I will also be twisting canon in this story, as this is an AR (alternate reality). Also, I have another story to update (I will, faithful readers), and I'll be going back and forth between that one and this one, posting one chapter at a time. So, I probably won't update this story as often as I should. Now that I put in my warnings and thanks, enjoy reading!
Disclaimer: I don't own Eragon or anyone in it, though I really wish I could have Eragon himself, and maybe get the green dragon...
Prologue: Newborn
Silence was the most prominent sound of the day as gray clouds and their silver linings rolled into the valley, creating a masking fog. The sun could only be seen as an incandescent pearl sphere glowing silently through the fog. Most people had retreated to their houses to keep from the cold, but the galloping of a horse could be heard through the fog and silence, if only one made an effort to listen.
A tan-skinned man with long dark brown hair crouched lower on the horse, beckoning it to go faster, though a flash of his stormy gray eyes could have done the same with much less effort. Perhaps the reason said man preferred to crouch than flash his eyes was because of his determined focus on seeing the road and repeating the mantra he had stuck in his head at the same time without going insane with the voices in his head. Well, the reason mentioned above was exactly right, and the voice in his head happened to be of a female dragon who acted like his conscience and mother at the same time.
Euphoria, stop blabbering, and I don't love her, the man voiced in his mind.
Yes, you do, you just dont want to admit it because it would ruin your oh-so-manly image, oh, and because a maniacal king doesn't want you to care about anyone besides him and would kill her and your son, who you fathered, by the way, if he knew they existed.
You talk too much, you know that?
And you talk too little. When are you going to tell her how you really feel about her, you already have a son with her and are going to have
another child with her very soon. You know that the reason you're even in this fogged-up valley is because you want to make sure she's safe delivering your baby.
Arrgh, yes, I know she's the mother of my children, but that's all she is!!!
An awkward silence followed the man's telepathic exclamation. Then, Euphoria proceeded to break it. You're trying to protect her and your children. I know you, you always sacrifice your happiness so other people could be safe, it's really annoying. You find happiness in being with her and your son, don't throw it away!
It's the only way they'll be safe, if I make sure they don't remember me kindly. I'm supposed to be one of the most sadistic men in history, remember?
Just because you made a few mistakes, I don't need to mention that they were huge, doesn't mean you don't deserve some happiness in your life. What happened to the Rider I chose while still in my egg, who named me after the feelings in his heart when he found me? Where did he go? He changed, Euphoria, he became a monster.
You are not a monster, even though many may think so. You have killed many people, this I know, but you have spared more. That alone makes you more human than the monster who has you under his control. Even Shruikan agrees with me!
You mean your mate, Euphoria? Of course he agrees with you, Shruikan's in love with you.
Yep. I'm glad to hear you're happy about this new development.
And I want you to be this happy too, and you feel the same about her as I feel about Shruikan. Just go to her and tell her you love her. I want
to see you happy, and she and your children make you happy. If you won't do this for yourself, them at least do it for me. Please, I don't want you sacrificing your happiness anymore.
Fine, Euphoria, you win. I'll tell her. I'm only doing this for you, though. You're welcome, Morzan.
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The baby would come soon, and Selena knew it wouldn't be much longer until she finally went into labor. She was getting increasingly more tired and hungry, and she was often bedridden and asking her brother to bring her something to eat. Her curly light brown hair lay sprawled on her shoulders, not reaching any lower, and she breathed steadily, attempting to keep herself awake in order to wait for who she knew would come.
Garrow had told her not to get her hopes up, that he was only using her for sex and nothing more, but she still had faith in her Morzan, knew that if there was any breath remaining in his body that he would come. Her brother had often questioned why she stayed with Morzan, even with his short temper and sometimes abusive rages, but she always replied that she loved him, and that he was kind and gentle to her.
Granted, he never told her that he loved her, something which perturbed her. He had only said that he wanted and needed her, but that was enough, she rationalized, to constitute love. He had to love her, why else would he marry and have two children with her? The question still racked her mind.
She looked in the mirror and wondered what her baby would look like. Quite frankly, she wanted the child to have brown eyes, like her own, so that there would be one characteristic to the child that proved she was the mother, and hopefully pale skin like hers too.
She played with the pearls in her hair, which reminded her of the day Morzan got them for her when she had been pregnant with Murtagh. She had been severely sad that day, having had an argument with her brother again. He had called her a whore, and it had broken her heart. Morzan had taken her out of Carvahall and to a marketplace, where he had comforted her by taking her out to the mountaintops for an afternoon picnic and giving her the pearls to wear. She remembered crying again, but for a different reason than Morzan expected; she had thought his gift was confirming that she was nothing more than a whore to him. She remembered his stuttering and blushing, his gentle hands wiping away her tears and him telling her that she would never be a whore, she was something much more precious to him than that. She remembered that day he had proposed to her, and the pearls were what he decided to give to her as a token of their engagement. She also remembered that he didn't sleep with her that night, indicating to both Selena and Garrow that he valued her more than just a whore. She wore those pearls proudly, remembering what they meant to her.
She had wanted Morzan to take Murtagh with him, but he told her it would be too suspicious for him to take his son with him. She knew there was some reason to what he was saying, but really, was that psychotic king really so possessive of her Morzan that he would kill Murtagh for being with his father?
At the very least Murtagh was spending time with his uncle Brom, Morzan's younger brother. Even Selena had to admit that Brom was a looker, but not nearly as much as her Morzan was. Anyway, Brom was in love with some crazy herbalist who believed toads didn't exist. She wouldn't have had a problem with that at all if Brom hadn't decided to move next door to her and take Murtagh to her shop every single day just so he could flirt with her while Murtagh was exploring the shop and most likely getting himself into some sort of mischief. She was severely hoping none of this herbalist's eccentricity would rub off on her son, she didn't need any more psychotic people in her family's life.
She could feel the baby kicking in her, and she felt a pain in her side. It was usual for her now, as the baby had been kicking for a while now. She wondered where her brother went, knowing that he had promised to bring her something to eat when he returned. She sighed, knowing that while they had their arguments, they loved each other and would go to great lengths to make sure the other was safe.
She heard little Roran playing with his mother outside, and she laughed to herself, wishing for Murtagh to be with her so she could do the same. Then, she heard her brother telling his son to go inside, much to Roran's chagrin. She could smell what Garrow had brought her, a loaf of bread and a cherry pie, and her stomach, or was it her baby, seemed to leap for joy.
"Selena, I'm back, I have a couple treats for you today," Garrow stated, placing the foods on a plate for her and carrying the plate to her bedside.
"I could smell it from outside, thank you so much. This baby's due any day now, and I'm glad you've been helping me so much, especially since you don't really like the father."
"I know, I still don't believe Morzan deserves you, or your love for him, but for some reason you love him. It scares me to death, but I have to accept it someday."
"You will, especially once he comes to see me deliver my baby," Selena chirped.
"Are you so sure he'll actually come"
"Of course, he hasn't fathered anyone else's babies."
"You drive me crazy, sis, but I love you anyway."
"I love you too, big brother."
Garrow gathered his family around the table, and they said their prayers before eating their meal. It was a calm dinner, with the family of three at the table and Selena in bed, and Selena couldn't help but keep staring back at her brother's family while they were eating, silently smiling to herself and fantasizing that the happy family around the table was her own, and that four people were seated around the table instead of three.
She tried to stand up after they had finished, and she succeeded, walking toward her brother and attempting to pick up a plate.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to help you clear the table, Garrow."
"Selena, you have a baby coming any day now, you should be conserving your strength instead of wasting it trying to help me!"
"I don't want to be useless, you know that!"
"I'm not letting you clear the table, you're my sister and my guest and I wish for you to remain comfortable while you're here. I'm not letting you exhaust yourself," Garrow said, exasperation growing in his voice.
"And I won't let you exhaust yourself by always trying to help me. I'd like to do something as my share of the work around here, and this is what I'll be doing."
Garrow rolled his eyes, knowing he'd never win an argument when it came to work, so he let her clear the table. Granted, he was right when he said she'd be exhausted afterwards, but Selena felt a sense of pride in being able to help her brother that was worth her fatigue.
She slumped back to the bed and almost fell asleep, but refrained from doing so. She didn't know why, but she had a gut feeling telling her that she had to stay awake. Then, she felt something inside her disintegrate, and she knew something important was happening. She looked once more at the door and silently lamented its emptiness, and she yelled as loud as she could, "My water broke!
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He rode faster now, with a sense of urgency he had not felt before. He did not know why he rode faster, but something told him to keep going. He was almost there, he could see her brother's house in the distance, he knew she was there.
Morzan didn't know why his caring feelings were so suddenly apparent. He reasoned to himself that it was because it was his baby being delivered soon, but he knew the reasoning wasn't fully true. The woman carrying his baby, Selena, was every bit as important to him, and he wanted to see her again. Maybe it was the same feeling Euphoria felt around Shruikan and vice versa, what did she call it again, oh yes, love. That would explain everything, but it would also require all the pain of love to be felt along with it. He wasn't so sure he was ready to feel that pain yet.
Yet it seemed worth it, to remember how much Selena gave to him, and how much he told her, gave to her, glad to give it away and knowing she was glad to receive it. He couldn't remember how many times they made love or when this baby was conceived, but he certainly did remember the first time, when they gave themselves so willingly to each other. He had to admit, it felt really good, and she told him it felt good to her too. He smiled, remembering that night.
He was only a few houses away from the one he needed to get to, and he slowed down, making sure his horse wouldn't die on him. He got off, and walked his horse to the nearest stable. He tied the horse to a post where hay could be easily reached. He was relieved that he got there before it fogged up completely, and was slowly walking to the house when he heard a loud scream from within, one he knew from once before.
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Selena was having a difficult time breathing, as the pain was very intense and her body was contracting in order to get the baby out. It really hurt. She felt an intense sadness, as the one person she wanted to see while delivering her baby hadn't come. Garrow had been right after all.
She started crying, because of both pains that plagued her, and her body hurt worse than ever. Her vision was swirling, and she wanted to vomit. She knew that she was squeezing her brother's hand entirely too hard and that there would most likely be a couple broken fingers resulting from this incident, but she couldn't care less at the moment.
She felt Garrow's body go rigid as the door was being pounded from the outside, and she cried worse than ever. Were they guards, ready to take her baby away from her and kill everyone in the house? Or worse, was it the terrible king himself, having found out about her love for Morzan and planning to kill both her and the baby as soon as she delivered? She gasped, sobbing, to Garrow's wife Miriam, "Please, open the door."
Miriam's hand shook as she slowly let the door go ajar, and the now slightly ajar door was brutally pushed open. Miriam shook some more and jumped back, clinging onto Garrow and trying not to scream. A figure emerged from the doorway, one everyone recognized as... Morzan.
"You came for me..." Selena jubilantly whispered from the bed. Her knight in shining armor had come after all.
"Of course I did, Selena. Of course I did."
She let go of Garrow's nearly-broken hand and clasped passionately onto Morzan's. Morzan's hand, Selena noticed, was much stronger than her brother's, mainly because her brother was more inclined to farm work and reading, while Morzan was a warrior.
"I didn't think you'd come, I was so scared, I-"
"Shush, dear, just keep going, I'm here now," Morzan whispered, stroking her hair with his free hand and kissing her cheek.
Selena found a renewed strength and continued to contract, grasping onto Morzan's hand harder as she kept trying to push her baby out of her. It seemed to take a long while, but she didn't care as to time, because she knew her Morzan would be there with her.
Miriam interrupted Selena's labored screams to tell her, "The baby's almost there, Selena, we need you to push just a couple more times, one, two, three-"
Selena pushed and screamed louder than she had before. he heard the soft cries of her baby, though, and her pain was instantly forgotten. She could hear Miriam tell her, "Push one more time, and your baby will be completely out..." and she happily obliged.
"It's a boy, Selena, and he's beautiful," Miriam whispered in her ear a few minutes later. She handed the cleaned-up baby to Selena, and she gasped in joy. Her son had all the features she wanted for him. She could spot his dark brown eyes eagerly looking up at her from a pale face. Granted, he still had some of his father's tan coloring, but he was still paler than his older brother. His brown hair was light, though she could already tell his eyebrows would be dark. Her baby was still crying, and she soothed his tears, making him cry less, and she fed him his first drink while Morzan looked on.
"Dear, what are you looking at"
Morzan stood silent, with tears in his eyes. She didn't know why he was crying, this was supposed to be a happy day, "Dear, why are you crying?"
He walked up to the bed and kneeled at her side, saying, "This is the happiest day of my life, Selena. Thank you so much, I don't deserve this-"
Selena responded with a prompt slap. "Of course you deserve this! You're a good man-"
"Well, he certainly deserved that slap-" Garrow stated, laughing harder than he had in months.
"Garrow, you're not helping anything," Selena retorted in a failed attempt to make Garrow stop laughing, and she rolled her eyes when she realized her brother wasn't going to stop for a while.
"Morzan, I love you so much. You certainly deserve this happiness, and you more than deserve me-" Selena said affectionately before gasping loudly for breath once more. She lay back on the bed, her baby in her arms, and her eyes were flickering close to shut.
Morzan sat on the edge of the bed, lifted her back and placed her head on his lap, stroking her hair. He looked so handsome there, to her fluttering eyes, and she lifted herself up onto his lap, holding the baby the whole time, and asked, "Would you like to hold our baby?"
"All right," he answered, and he lifted their baby from her arms into his, rocking him softly and whispering, "Hi there, son, I'm your father, nice to meet you..."
She smiled to herself as she slowly dozed off into rest, watching her Morzan play with their second son, and she wondered what Murtagh's reaction would be to this new baby. She would find out soon. Before she could completely fall asleep, though, Morzan returned to her bed, holding her little baby in his arms and smiling so sweetly at her. Garrow followed him, and asked Morzan if he could hold his nephew. Morzan looked like he wanted to say no, but then he paused and his muscles tightened slightly. She could tell that Morzan's dragon, Euphoria, was speaking with him by the way he tried to prevent himself from muttering in front of Garrow. She was glad to be one of the only people who knew about the telepathic connection between him and his dragon.
"Fine, you can hold my son," Morzan grumbled. She was sorely tempted to laugh at her husband's tone of voice when he said that. Before she could laugh, however, he turned back to her and gave her an earnest smile, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter again. He always seemed to know what to do to get her blushing, and she went under the covers to hide her blushing.
"Selena, I know you're under there, don't make me come and get you-" Morzan teased, and he pulled up the covers and started tickling her, making her laugh, but also exhausting her and leaving her gasping for breath once more.
Selena grabbed the covers and snuggled in them tightly, replying, "I'm just so happy, Morzan. Extremely tired, but happy. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to go to sleep-"
"Not yet!" Morzan grabbed the covers once more.
"And just why not?!"
"There's something I need to say to you, something that's been long overdue. Selena, we've been husband and wife for a few years now, and I know almost everything about you, but you don't know so much about me. I've closed myself off from you too long, dear, I need to tell you everything. I've done some bad things, things I regret now, things you might not like me for. Hopefully you'll still love me by the time I'm done," he whispered, and then he proceeded to tell her everything, from how he found Euphoria to why he named his sword Zar'roc to how he got involved with Galbatorix in the first place. Granted, he was right when he warned her that she might not like everything he did, and she was bewildered that Morzan, her Morzan, was the same man who did those things.
However, she couldn't hate him for what he did, because she had loved him for so long, and she always would. Actually, for a reason unknown to her as of that moment, she loved him almost more than ever. He was being so honest with her that she couldn't help but feel her heart melt slowly.
"Well?"
"Morzan, that was your past. Yes, it was a bit darker than I expected, but from what I hear, you were a lot more noble than you give yourself credit for. We're in the present now, and hopefully we'll be alive for a lot of the future. Everything will be all right, Morzan, I'm here, Murtagh, well, he's at your brother's house at the moment, but he still loves you, and now we have another baby to add to our family," Selena whispered softly into Morzans ear.
"I forgot to tell you something, another thing much longer overdue," Morzan whispered back.
"And what would that be?"
"I, I, I love you, Selena."
She could not remember ever feeling so happy in her life as in that moment, and she snuggled against Morzan in a big hug and started crying tears of joy.
"Why are you crying?"
"I'm just so happy, I've waited such a long time to hear you say that, and now it seems so perfect..." Yes, her life was perfect then, if only for a moment, "I love you too, Morzan..."
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Morzan felt Selena snuggle in his arms and smiled to himself. She really did love him, and he wondered how he could have been so lucky. Maybe Euphoria was right about the odd thing called love; the joy it created really was worth any pain it could cause.
Of course I'm right Morzan, I'm always right.
Euphoria, I'm-
In a romantic moment with your precious Selena, I get it. Well, just saying, I've just received some bad news from Shruikan. Looks like we have to get back to Uru'baen as soon as possible.
Why, I thought Galbatorix was going to Dras-Leona to check on the Seithr oil deal.
Well, Shruikan just told me he's back. Oh yes, he also found out about Selena and Murtagh.
Why did you tell me this?
So none of you would die, Euphoria retorted, Well, I'd better get going before the maniacal monster flies off into a rampage.
You mean Shruikan?
You know who I mean, you hurtful person.
I love you too, Euphoria. Now get back to your monster mate
"Selena, I have something to tell you," Morzan stated, dread obvious in his voice.
Selena must have noticed the morose tone in his voice, damn it, because she asked him, "What is it, Morzan? Is something wrong?"
He really did not want to tell her. However, the look on Selena's face almost directly stated that she wanted nothing but the truth, and any lies would be ruthlessly torn apart. He gulped, thinking of how he would say this, it was harder than he thought it would be.
"Well, Selena, he knows."
"About us? About Murtagh and our new baby?" Selena replied after a couple moments of still silence.
"Yes."
"Well, we're coming with you then," Selena responded. That was not the answer he wanted to hear, let alone actually go through with.
"There's no way you're coming with me, Selena, you're just barely starting to recover from pregnancy and you want to take an excruciatingly long journey with me to the palace of the most dangerous man in the world. Have the herbs gotten to your head?" Morzan yelled.
"This baby needs both his mother and his father to take care of him, Murtagh, though he loves you, he barely knows you, and I want us to be an actual family! Are you ashamed of us, ashamed of me?!" Selena cried, tears falling down her face while she grabbed Morzan's shirt.
Morzan didn't know how much his absences were affecting her or Murtagh until that moment. Selena had always seemed so happy when he came to her that he didn't notice how much she missed him when he wasn't there. And he felt horrible for distancing himself from Murtagh. Ever since that drunken attack, Morzan was afraid of going near his son for fear of hurting him again. He was ashamed, yes, but not of them. He was ashamed of himself.
"Morzan, did you hear the question?"
Morzan couldn't take it anymore. He exploded, "Yes, I did! I am ashamed! I'm ashamed that I can't be there because I'm serving a psychotic bastard who's obsessed with getting as much power as he can and who likes exercising said power over me to get me to do what he wants! I'm ashamed that I compare myself to your brother and find him the more honorable man! I'm ashamed that I have to hurt the ones I love to protect them from that crazy maniacal ba-"
"Morzan, I get it! Did I just hear what I thought I heard?"
"What part?"
"You're hurting us to protect us... why? We're not weak, Morzan, we can deal with this psychotic king, and we will come out stronger. He would have found out sooner or later anyway. Why not take us to Uru'baen with you, and bring us to the king?" Selena suggested.
"He'll kill you-"
"Not as long as we can protect each other, Morzan. Do you trust me?"
Selena then got into a long-winded talk about how they would persuade Galbatorix to let Eragon and Murtagh stay inside the castle, thus getting both children the chance to learn how to read and write. The more Morzan heard her talk, the more Selena's idea appealed to him. When she finished talking, she asked, "So, can Murtagh, this baby and I come with you now?"
For once, he felt like he could do something for himself and still keep Selena, Murtagh and his new son from getting hurt. All in all, he really liked this feeling, "Yes, we'd better get going."
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A victorious smile formed on her face, and joy filled her so much she couldn't speak. She jumped on the bed and viciously grabbed Morzan in a tight hug, laughing into his shoulder.
"What's so funny?"
"I'm so happy, you're not ashamed of us anymore..."
"I never was ashamed of you, Selena, nor Murtagh or this new kid we have here. So, we'd better get moving if we're going to make it in time-"
"Let us sleep, Morzan, it's after twilight, and I just had a baby."
"Now you play the 'I just had a baby' card, Selena, I see what's it's like-" Morzan joked.
She slapped him in the head and beckoned him to the bed. "We're going to sleep as a family tonight, I'll hold the baby, and you sleep next to me-"
"Can we change the sheets first, because there's blood all over them," Morzan replied.
"Fine, we'll change the sheets, or rather, you will. I'm just going to bond with my baby here..." She grabbed her baby and rocked him gently. "I wonder what I'm going to name you..."
She played with several different names, including Jeod, Horst, Carsaib, for an exotic air, and even Morzan Jr. None of them seemed to work, though. She thought for a long while until she finally found the perfect name for her little boy. "I have it!"
"You have what? Your feminine problems coming back?"
"No, Morzan! I have a name!"
"Oh, sorry," Morzan muttered, putting on the last sheets and mumbling to himself how much he'd like to be asleep. He sounded so cute when he was sleepy.
"So, what is it?"
"Oh, the name. His name will be Eragon," Selena stated, pride evident in her voice.
"Eragon? That's kind of a stupid name, Selena-" Selena promptly slapped him. "What was that for?!"
"I worked hard on picking that name, and it has a special meaning to me-"
"It took you all of two minutes, Selena."
"It was a very important two minutes, Morzan, and you weren't helping."
Selena really had a special feeling for this name. Having read the legend of the Rider Eragon, Selena thought Morzan would have a better appreciation for the name than this. Also, there was a poetic meaning to it that she relished.
"Why are you so insistent about the name?"
"To me, this child represents an era of doubt and fear gone from this family, and a new time, one of happiness and hope, will begin. Also, I thought you of all people would appreciate me naming him after the first Rider," Selena responded.
"Well, the first Rider had a stupid name."
"Well, your son's going to have that stupid name too, if only to represent that there is no more doubt and no more secrets in this family. Also, you change the first letter from e to d and you have dragon-"
"Now Dragon would be a cool name-" Morzan piped.
"You picked Murtagh's name, it's my turn to pick the name."
"Fine. He'll be Eragon."
"Good. Now let's get to sleep, because we have a long journey ahead of us, and tonight's probably the last night of decent sleep we'll get in a long while."
She sighed as she got under the covers with her husband, who grabbed her under the covers and gave her a kiss on the lips, whispering, "Good night, love."
She giggled to herself, her husband was always so romantic like that. It was the first time he called her love, though. She held her now sleeping baby boy in her arms, and she rocked him slowly and gently before going to sleep. The last thing she whispered into her baby's ear was "Goodnight, my little Eragon, my little boy. We have a long journey ahead, but I'll always be here."
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The next morning they packed their bags and left. Garrow and Miriam didn't even try to persuade Selena to stay, for both knew they couldn't. Roran was grabbing onto Selena's leg, asking her if he could hold Eragon one last time before they left. He was granted his request, and then Selena and Morzan left, Selena holding Eragon in her arms and cooing softly into his ear, "We have a long journey ahead, but I'll always be here."
A/N: The first chapter's FINALLY finished! Whew! Please, read and review!
