Disclaimer: I would love to own the Host Club, though, sadly, I do not.

START THE FLICK!

"Ohayo!!!"

The host club members froze in panic. They knew that voice and the mechanical whir that accompanied it. Renge, the Otaku.

Kyoya recovered first and bowed politely to the girl. "Hello, Renge, how are you faring?" Tamaki was popped out of his reverie by Kyoya's greeting.

'AAAAAAGGGGG!!!! It's Kyoya's crazy fiancé!' Tamaki thought in terror.

"DAAARRRLING!!! I mean… Kyoya-san…" Tamaki immediately stopped yelling and pointing. Not Kyoya's fiancé? What was going on?

"Kyoya-san?" That was the twins. For once they were slightly out of sync due to severe shock. They grabbed hands and huddled in the corner.

"Hold steady, Kaoru!"

"B-but it's so scary, Hikaru!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes at the antics. (Hunny and Mori just shrugged and went back to eating cake.) "Renge-chan," Haruhi began tentatively, "what do you mean by 'Kyoya-san'? You no longer wish to be Kyoya-sempai's fiancé? You always claim that he'll be yours."

"Glad you asked Haru-kun!" Renge exclaimed, hopping down from the mini tower that had popped up from seemingly nowhere. She was dressed as a sort of ninja with the word "SASUNARU" printed up the sleeves. "I have a new project for the host club!" They waited for her to continue.

"I want a host party based on the love between Kyoya-sama and-" here she pointed dramatically to "TAMAKI-BAKA!!!" Tamaki's jaw literally hit the floor while Kyoya's eyes widened about a millimeter. Both were obviously shocked beyond words.

"l-l-l-l-love relationship between m-me and… Kyoya?" Tamaki sputtered stupidly.

"Of course! It would be a beautiful love forbidden and scorned by the people of rich society! What better love to display, a love that defies all boundaries!"

"b-but that's the twin's shtick!" Tamaki was grasping at loose threads at this point. He really hoped Kyoya wouldn't go with it.

"The twins have twincest or brotherly love… not homosexuality," Kyoya put in unhelpfully.

"Renge-san," Haruhi ventured, "have you been reading yaoi?" Renge turned to Haruhi with a shining "How did you know??"

Haruhi pointed to her sleeve. "I finally placed the SASUNARU reference from something a colleague of my father talked about," she explained. "It refers to the fandom love between Naruto Uzamaki and Sasuke Uchiha, right?"

The host club stared at her, surprised. "Our daughter has been exposed to Yaoi fandom?!?!?" Exclaimed Tamaki, tears in his eyes, "Were you scarred for life?"

Haruhi glared daggers at the distraught king, "My dad is gay, so of course I wasn't. Besides, I read pure fluff!"

Tamaki sighed in relief. "Renge-chan, I don't think that Kyoya would want this-"

"Actually," Kyoya cut in, "it would probably be quite a profit, judging on the success of the twins."

Tamaki gaped and floundered for another excuse. He looked around for support. The twins were off in their own little twincest world, Hunny and Mori were still ignoring them, Kyoya was calculating the predicted profits, and Haruhi was uncharacteristically looking at the floor and mumbling something about not minding yaoi in the least.

He finally slumped in comic defeat, "fine." Renge squealed ecstatically. Kyoya chuckled evilly before slipping Renge the promised fee for this particular escapade.

Author's notes

HAHAHAHAHA!!! And, no! This will not be updated! Use your imagination to fill in the rest if you must, but I will not! looks tragically defiant anywho… thanks for reading!

Tamaki: twitch

Kyoya: Evil chuckle

Me: Joins Kyoya's chuckling