A/N: This is a parody of the song "Gaston" from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. Bad things happen when two of your biggest loves are Harry Potter and Disney. This is supposed to take place after Gryffindor has beat Slytherin at something, probably the Quidditch Cup. All the Slytherins are moping around the Common Room. Draco, being the Seeker for their team, is taking it especially hard, so Blaise tries to cheer him up. Anyways, here it is...
"Draco"
Spoken:
Draco:
"Who do they think are? Gryffindor's tangled with the wrong house!"
Blaise:
"Damn straight!"
Draco:
"No one outdoes Slytherin! Beaten! Defeated! Publicly humiliated! Why, it's more than I can bear!"
Blaise:
"More butterbeer?"
Draco:
"What for? Nothing helps. We're disgraced!"
Blaise:
"Who, us? Never!! Draco, you've got to pull yourself together!"
Sung:
Blaise:
"Gosh it disturbs me to see you Draco
Looking so down in the dumps
Every Slytherin'd love to be you Draco
Even when taking your lumps
There's no boy in school as admired as you
You're everyone's favorite guy
Students are awed and inspired by you
And it's not very hard to see why!
No one's slick as Draco
No one's quick as Draco
No one's wand's as incredibly big as Draco's
For there's no one at Hogwarts as sexy!
Perfect! Fierce as a dragon!
You can ask any Tom, Snape, or Pansy
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!"
All:
"No ones been like Draco
A Sytherin like Draco"
Blaise:
"No one's family tree is as pure as Draco's!"
Draco:
"My geneolgy is intimidating..."
All:
"My what a guy that Draco!
Give five hurrahs
Give twelve hip-hips"
Blaise:
"Draco is the best and the rest is all drips!"
All:
"No one charms like Draco
Casts those spells like Draco"
Crabbe:
"In a dueling match nobody cheats like Draco!"
Pansy & Millicent:
"For there's no boy at school quite so sexy"
Draco:
"All you girls just adore my blond hair!"
Blaise:
"Not a bit of him's common or homely!"
Draco:
"Hell no! And I've got such a dark, brooding, emo-boy flair!"
All:
"No one hits like Draco
Matches wits like Draco!"
Blaise:
"In a potions class nobody brews like Draco!"
Draco:
"Except for that know-it-all Granger! Mudblood!"
All:
"Ten house points for Draco!"
Draco:
"Oh since I was young I've always been the best
I excel at each thing that I try
But since I came to school I have had to compete
I wish Potter and his friends would die!!"
All:
"No one drinks like Draco
Parties out like Draco"
Blaise:
"Then goes dancing around in the nude like Draco!"
Draco:
"Hey what happens in Slytherin stays in Slytherin!"
All:
"Say it again
Who's a man among men?
And then say it once more
Who's that Slytherin man-whore?
Who's a bad-boy success?
Don't you know, can't you guess?
Ask any student here 'bout this blond!
There's just one guy in school who is this freakin' cool!"
Blaise:
"And his name's D-R-A-...(pauses for dramatic effect)
D-R-A-C-O (Crabbe and Goyle look stumped, so he repeats himself)
D-R-A-C-O (pauses for breath this time) Ohhhhh!"
All:
"Draco!"
A/N: So what'd ya think? I think it came out okay, but review it so I know what you think, too.
