It was a sunny Friday evening at the Higurashi residence. School was out, mobs of ordinary people were on their way home anticipating the great weekend, pre-teens hopped up on Dr. Pepper and Pixy sticks skipped their way home, and many hordes of ordinary people just wanted to chill out before realizing on Sunday that the dreaded Monday was imminent and would send millions worldwide into a short state of depression that would most likely be drowned out by football. But this is Japan, so they have to make do with Baseball. But a few not-so-ordinary were frolicking in the Friday evening joy. The Tendo family, who have somehow hidden a large Panda that disappears and reappears only when mass Pandemonium (Hehe) is about to break loose. It also communicates with large signs that seem to come out of nowhere. This whole thing also overshadows the fact that the Tendo residence is almost always under massive interior and exterior repairs. Foul play is almost always involved but it happens so much only the repair men and construction workers seem to care. It's just what the family does. That guy who ate all those hotdogs in three minutes also lives nearby, and last but not least, the Higurashi Family. Now, they may appear to be quite ordinary on the surface, besides the many, many MANY days of school missed by a young girl named Kagome Higurashi. It actually makes you wonder why she hasn't dropped out yet. But that is quite ordinary in the run down sections of many American cities. The out of the ordinary here is not actually known by anyone but the Higurashi Family. And they want to keep it that way. Because if they told anyone, then it wouldn't be much of an out-of-the ordinary secret would it? Not to mention it would make this damned story somewhat complicated to write. But this is not about the Higurashi family's secret, you'll just have to wait.
Sota sat quietly, watching his grandpa rant about his latest product. He held his head up with his right hand.
"Are you listening Sota!?" Grandpa barked, snapping Sota to attention. "Without your positive feedback, I won't be able to sell any charms without feeling good about it!"
"Grandpa, why do I even have to say anything!?" Sota answered back. "I mean come on! You hardly even know what anyone is saying half the time! Why would I say something good about something to make you feel any better? Just because I say something is cool doesn't mean someone else would think it's cool… or useful… or even worth throwing in the trash…"
"Sota, please, I don't have a hearing problem! Because if I did have a problem, then why do I have my many, many, MANY social Conversations with the many people that live on our side of the mountain?... and you didn't answer my feedback question…"
"Grandpa, you only talked to that young girl at the quickie."
"And I had a very friendly conversation with that young lady!"
"Grandpa, she called you a fudge packing bucket of dust."
"No, no, no Sota! She admired my very handsome sweater!"
"And then she wished you would die in a fire…. Sorta like how dad left us…"
"Anyway, about that feedback."
Sota was boxed in between a rock and a hard place, he needed to do something drastic or else this scene would last multiple pages.
"HEY GRANDPA!!" Sota exclaimed loudly. "I just saw that Kappa again! He's hiding in the gardening shack!" Sota pointed excitedly at the sad looking structure.
"I KNEW THERE WAS A KAPPA!!" Roared Grandpa, enraged. 'STAY HERE SOTA!! I'LL FEND IT OFF WITH THIS SHOVEL!!" Grandpa grabbed a nearby shovel and ran into the shack. Sota then had the chance and took off into the house.
Upon entering the living room, Sota noticed something. For one, the smell of dinner did not linger in the air, the clash and clatter of cooking utensils did not ring through the room, and his mother was playing his new Wii.
"Mama! What are you doing!?" Sota exclaimed, surprised by his mothers cooking absence, and better yet, she was pretty good at Wii Sports!
"Oh! Sorry Honey!" She responded quickly, pausing the game.
"Mama, this isn't like you! Ever since I got the Wii a week ago, you've been playing it almost nonstop! I haven't even had a chance to play it yet!"
"Honey, it's not my fault the Wii is fun!"
"Look, Mama, this isn't about the Wii-"
"I'M HUNGRY!!" Roared a dripping wet Grandpa, bursting through the door.
"Grandpa, I'm talking with Sota at the moment, what was it that you were asking me honey?" Sota was silent for a moment.
"Grandpa sorta read my mind." Mama was taking in the scene.
"So that's all I'm used for, COOKING!?" She cried loudly. "Well you know what!? I have feelings too! And I have hobbies as well! And YOU KNOW WHAT!! I WANT TO HAVE SOME FUN!!"
"So when's dinner, women!?" Barked Grandpa rudely. Mama sighed deeply.
"In… a damn minute! Just wait until the next round!" Mama started the game again, and brought her arm in position to swing the bat, but she swung too hard. "Whoops!". But of course, 'Whoops' would not cover up the following scene. The Wii mote flew out of Mama's hand and bounced off the wall, hitting Mama in between the eyes. She gasped loudly as she fell, right onto her right hand.
Mama was brought outside into a nearby ambulance.
"Sir! Is my Mom going to be alright!?" asked a Desperate Sota, latching onto the Paramedics arm.
"Hey yeggo kid!" The man shook Sota off. "Your mother is going to be fine. She just has a broken wrist. We'll take good care of her. There is nothing to worry about, you can tag along for the ride if you want." Sota declined the offer. The ambulance peeled away. Grandpa strolled up to Sota.
"Grandpa, weren't you chasing that Kappa?"
"He got away AGAIN!! He gets away right when I think I have him in my grasp!" the two stood silently on the spot. "Well poop, I'm hungry, let's see what we can create in the heater box contraption." Grandpa went into the kitchen, Sota followed. But Young Sota gasped in surprise and shock, the microwave was skewered by a garden shovel that apparently came through the open window. Grandpa was unsure of what to say at the scene.
"Hmmm… Something is defiantly different with the heater contraption, perhaps the Mrs. got a new one…"
"GRANDPA!! THAT'S YOUR SHOVEL!!"
"No boy! No! My shovel has an inscription on the handle…" The handle had a very distinctive 'Property of the Higurashi Residence' labeled over it. "…Oh… IT WAS THAT DAMNED KAPPA!!"
"Grandpa! You didn't see a Kappa! And there never ever was one here! It's just a Myth! Like world peace, and global warming!"
"What did you say Sota?" Sota sighed.
"You know what! Forget the stupid Kappa! Right now Mama is at the hospital, we have no microwave, and none of us can cook! And Kagome is dicking around in the Feudal era! Face it grandpa! Were screwed!"
"Your right Sota!"
"I am? Better yet, YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED?!"
"Without the women around, the men cannot fend for themselves! We are defenseless! Soon we'll have to burn down the house and rob from the innocent to collect enough money to pay for drugs and scraps of food behind the Mc Donald's!"
"Or… we could just order pizza…"
"Oh you're no fun…"
…
Okay, as you've probably noticed, no Ranma 1/2 characters are present at the time. They will be present next chapter. At the moment, this is a stub.
I'm not abandoning it, I just got the entire Ranma 1/2 first season on DVD and I'm going to be watching it to be as accurate as possible (Also to make up jokes). And yes, there will be stupid pranks. And believe me, or Lookaway, it's gonna get better…
The next chapter is in the works.
Ciao.
