AN: Could it be? I've written something with no angst. There isn't a drop. I may faint. Kudos to Jake for introducing me to the word bisexy, although I think he never knew I'd use it like this :D
Something was wrong but Dean couldn't figure out what. They were in a small diner in a small town, and they'd just ordered cheeseburgers. Well, he and Cas had ordered cheeseburgers, Sam had ordered rabbit food. It was while they were ordering that Dean began to suspect something was off.
"Something seem funky to you guys?" Dean asked, looking across the table at Sam, knowing Cas wouldn't have noticed anything weird.
Sam snorted. "Yeah, the waitress didn't jump across the table and try to rip your clothes off."
Dean narrowed his eyes. "What the hell does that mean, Sammy?"
"It means she wasn't actively trying to sleep with you."
"Oh," Dean said, slumping into his seat a little. So that's what was wrong. "Well why the hell wasn't she?" he asked, outrage overcoming his initial disappointment. He felt fingers gripping his thigh and he glanced down. Cas's hands had been folded in his lap but one had now moved over onto his leg. He grinned sheepishly. He'd forgotten for a moment that his days of picking up waitresses were behind him.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Because somewhere there is a woman that doesn't find you attractive," he said, oblivious to Cas's silent communications.
"Yeah, no. Sam, look at me. That's unlikely," Dean said with a cocksure grin. Cas's fingers squeezed and Dean understood that the angel was agreeing with his statement.
"Whatever," Sam said, fingers drumming the table. Dean's eyes roamed the diner and they came to rest on the waitress in question. She was pretty enough, but Dean wasn't interested in getting her into bed. He was interested in proving to Sam that she totally wanted him.
Moments later she headed towards her table, arms loaded down with food. Dean turned on his biggest smile but she ignored him as she slid his bacon cheeseburger in front of him. She ignored Sam too but when she came to Cas she flashed a big smile, chest thrust towards him. "I'll be back with your drinks in a moment," she said pointedly to Cas. Dean's smile dropped off his face.
Sam couldn't contain his laughter. "Well I guess that proves me right. The waitress is after Cas, not you!" he exclaimed gleefully. Dean pinned a gaze of hatred on him, but his little brother ignored him. Dean turned to Cas, looking for some sympathy, but the angel had a small smile on his face, clearly amused by the situation. He frowned, picking up a fry and shoving it into his mouth.
The waitress returned. "Here you go," she said, sitting a bottle of beer in front of each of them. "Do you need anything else?" She asked them, although clearly only acknowledging Cas.
Dean suddenly found he didn't like that at all. Without thinking his actions through he scooted a little closer to Cas in the booth, slinging his arm around the smaller man's shoulders. "We're good thanks," he said giving her a look that meant she should leave. Her eyes darted between the two of them and a knowing look grew on her face.
"Oh, I see. Well I'll be right over there if you need anything," she said, keeping her big smile for tips if nothing else.
Sam's jaw hung slack, a forkful of salad suspended between his plate and his mouth. He slowly closed his mouth and put the fork down. "Dean… What are you doing?"
Dean whipped his head around. He'd sort of forgotten his little brother was there. His cheeks turned pink, and he turned to Cas, but the angel wasn't going to help him.
"I'm, uh… I put my arm around Cas so the waitress would leave him alone," Dean said, feeling triumphant that he'd come up with something that sort of made sense.
"Uh-huh," Sam said slowly. "So why is your arm still around him?" Dean realized Sam was right and he jerked his arm back to his side of the booth. He looked from his brother to Cas and back again. He was tired of hiding this. He put his arm back and nodded to himself.
"Because I like it there," he said simply.
Sam quirked and eyebrow. "What does that mean?"
"It means that Cas and I are, y'know. Together," Dean said nonchalantly. Cas turned his face to look at Dean, surprised the hunter had finally told Sam and been so calm about it.
"So… You're gay?" Sam asked.
Dean made a face. "Dude, how many chicks have I brought back to the room? Sorry," he added when Castiel turned his gaze on him. "I'm not gay. I'm not bisexy or whatever it is either."
Sam gave him a look. "Bisexual."
"Whatever. I'm straight. Cas is… Different."
Sam turned to Cas. "Does he realize that your vessel is a man? Which makes you man-shaped. He gets that, right?"
"After some of our activities I should hope he is smart enough to know that," Cas replied. Dean groaned and Sam pulled a bitchface.
"That's a bit too much information, babe," Dean said, squeezing Cas's shoulder gently. He took a swig of his beer. "What?" he asked after realizing Sam was staring at him.
"You just called him babe!"
"Yeah, so? You have some sort of problem with that?"
Sam held his hands up in surrender. "Dude, if you're happy, I don't care," he tilted his head like he had an important thought. "Wait, how long has this been going on? Four, five months I'm guessing?"
Dean looked at him suspiciously. "Yeah, about five months. Why?"
Sam grinned. "You've been really easy to deal with, and you've been acting happier. Now I know why." Dean scowled. Sam was right, he had been happier, but he didn't have to word it like that. Sam suddenly stopped smiling. "Damn it."
"What?" Dean asked, looking around and then taking a huge bite of his bacon cheeseburger.
"Bobby wins the bet," Sam said morosely.
Dean made a sound somewhere between a cough and a gag when he sucked his mouthful of burger into his lungs. He spluttered around, face going red. Castiel blinked calmly at him. "Shall I give you the Heimlich maneuver?"
Dean pounded his chest and finally managed to breathe. "Bet? What bet?" he rasped, taking a quick swig of his beer to wash the food down.
"C'mon Dean, you've been acting pretty weird the past few months. So me and Bobby made a bet. I said you'd finally gotten over your self-loathing issues, Bobby said you'd finally gotten into Cas's pants. Looks like I owe him fifty bucks." Dean gaped at his brother.
"He did not 'get in my pants' Sam, he took them off first," Cas said, feeling the need to defend Dean's honor but failing miserably.
"No, Cas, it's a figure of speech," Dean said. Then he got this faraway look in his eye and this goofy grin on his face. "Yeah, Bobby totally won that bet…" he grinned. Then he snapped out of it. He pointed at Sam, eyes hard. "You are a dick. C'mon Cas," he said, attempting to usher the angel out of the booth.
"But we have not finished our burgers," Cas said, standing up anyway.
"I'm not hungry, you don't need to eat. We're gonna go have sex on Sam's bed."
"Dude! That's disgusting!"
"Yeah, it is," Dean said, slipping his arm around Cas's waist. "So… We're gonna go do that now. You get to pay for all this," he said, waving a hand and the mostly uneaten food. "And you get to walk back to the motel."
"Yeah well, I'm staying here for a while. And then I'm getting my own room. On the opposite side of the motel."
Dean grinned. "I've got all the credit cards Sammy. So we're gonna go have sex on your bed, that you get to sleep in later, you have fun with your salad," he said gleefully, pulling Cas out of the diner and into the impala while Sam sat alone in the booth making a bitchface that, if anyone had cared to pay attention to, would've gone down as one of the most impressive yet.
