Disclaimer: I don't own Black Butler.
A/N: Wow. I told myself after I finished watching all of the Black Butler II OVAs dubbed I'd actually work on my mountain of homework, but then I went back to my favourite episode from season 1, episode 9 where Ciel and company try to get a picture of Sebastian, and I was inspired to write yet another Kuro fic. Even after I told myself no more fanfictions for the rest of the week! Yeah, so this is based on Black Butler episode 9 near the end after Sebastian takes the picture of Ciel sleeping, and they all discover that Ciel cares most about Sebastian (AW!). I couldn't help it; Ciel just had this beautiful expression on his face when he was talking with Sebastian about it, and the piano version of The Colour Of Licorice was playing in the background, and it was such a precious moment that I just had to expand on it. Ciel really does love Sebastian, his face said everything!
Contains boyxboy; you've been warned.
Sebastian kindly asks that you review.
A Photograph of my Heart
"And if I was running
You'd be the one who I would be running to,
And if I was crying
You would be lining the cloud that would pull me through,
And if I was scared
I would be glad to tell you and walk away;
But I am not lying, I am just trying to find my way in
To you."
-SafetySuit
He knew.
Ciel hadn't told a soul how much he truly cared, but now all of his careful indifference was spoiled all thanks to that wretched photo. Everything was ruined.
Sebastian continued to smile down at him, and Ciel dreaded the moment that sweet smile would melt into a smirk. He couldn't bring himself to respond to Sebastian's view of the special camera; he just continued to stare up into intense, crimson eyes.
His heart felt heavy, a fostering pain spreading throughout his chest. But why did it hurt so much? Sebastian only knew that he was what Ciel cared for most, but he didn't know the deep extent of just how much Ciel cared. Then again, it wasn't too hard to guess as Sebastian was chosen above even Ciel's dead parents.
The young Earl of Phantomhive tried to control his slightly trembling body and the emotions that threatened to explode, as he waited for an amused chuckle to leave his butler's lips.
Sebastian probably found him pathetic, for he was a demon that could only see Ciel as nothing more than food.
Yes, Ciel thought wistfully. I mean no more to him than that…
What a fool I am.
At that moment, all he wanted was to just disappear. He loved his butler, and now that Sebastian knew the truth, he would surely be mocked.
Ciel couldn't take any more blows to his pride.
The anger that had been showing clearly on his face faltered, and suddenly crumpled with shameful heartache. How had a simple, entertaining game of trying to get a photograph of Sebastian ended up like this? Ciel mentally cursed himself for his weakness and falling asleep so vulnerably.
Love was such a pointless emotion, one that would only end in pain.
Ciel knew that all too well. So why did he feel so strongly for Sebastian? Well I guess if one gave it some thought it was really quite simple; Sebastian was the only person he had left to believe in, and the only one he could rely on. Between his supernatural service and his teasing remarks, somewhere along the way Ciel had grown a fondness for his demon servant, and love had blossomed deep in the depths of his cold heart.
Sebastian's words spoken mere seconds ago echoed inside his head.
"The image in a photograph isn't real; only an illusion. But that is humanity's way, seeking vainly to preserve the image because you fear that one day it may be forgotten."
That picture of the two of them, butler and master… how long would it be before Sebastian forgot about him after devouring his soul? Was Ciel really the King in this chess match, or was he merely a pawn in a demon's game?
Why am I questioning it now? Ciel thought tiredly. I made the contract knowing full well what would happen, and how this would end. He sighed quietly, finally tearing his eyes from Sebastian's and turning his head slightly to hide the emotions that were probably leaking through his cold façade.
I just didn't take into account the possibility that I could love him.
"Young master?" Sebastian called softly.
"What?" Ciel answered his tone harsh. He was fighting to keep on a good poker face, but was failing miserably. His cerulean eye shimmered with a swirl of conflicting emotions.
A gentle, gloved hand placed under his chin caused Ciel to gasp lightly as his face was slowly turned to face his butler directly again. And before he could raise an eyebrow in confusion, soft lips were pressed against his own.
Ciel blinked in shock; his mind not yet processing that Sebastian was kissing him. When he finally broke free of his brief trance, he melted into the kiss, parting his lips slightly to taste. A warm tongue slipped into his mouth causing Ciel to jump a little at the startling intrusion, but he didn't break away. He needed this.
For in this moment, he could pretend that Sebastian truly cared. In this moment, he could lose himself in a false security that came from being loved back.
Ciel chewed softly on Sebastian's bottom lip, tangling his hands in the demon's silky black hair. When they finally separated, Ciel felt like he had been slapped in the face.
His cheeks flushed a brilliant shade of red, and he lashed out his hand to strike Sebastian across the cheek, though it wasn't as powerful as he had intended.
Why did I allow that to continue when I know how he truly sees me? Ciel reprimanded himself in frustration. I'm so weak! Pull yourself together, Phantomhive!
"Don't tease me!" Ciel spat venomously, but there was no denying the hurt undertone in his voice. Sebastian peered at his young master, an amused but slightly hurt glint in his eyes.
"I can assure you my lord that I was not teasing," he replied calmly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Ciel looked almost betrayed.
"Don't lie," he said weakly, hanging his head a bit. His butler sighed patiently.
"I believe I've told you before that I never have and never will lie to you." Ciel's head snapped up again, and he regarded his butler wearily.
"Tell me the truth, Sebastian. Do you care only for my soul that you will eventually devour?" He asked timidly. He had to know the answer. Sebastian closed his eyes and flashed a dazzling smile.
"No, master." Ciel stared incredulously at Sebastian, unable to cover the blatant shock that overcame him.
"You- you're not serious?" Sebastian opened his eyes and gazed intensely at Ciel, regarding him with an almost affectionate expression.
"I just told you I wouldn't lie, did I not?" He replied gently, placing a hand lightly on Ciel's cheek. "In fact, I made sure that you and the others didn't snap a photo of me because nothing would appear in the photograph anyway." Sebastian smiled genuinely at his master, who seemed to be at a loss for words. Ciel couldn't believe it; was he really precious to Sebastian?
"Why is that?" Ciel asked quietly. Sebastian took Ciel's hands into his own, lovingly brushing his thumb over the smooth expanses of skin.
"This camera shows who you care about most by reaching into the other world. No one would appear in a picture of myself because the person I care for most is still alive," he finished mischievously. "I didn't want to alert the servants, for it would hint at my true nature."
"You fool," Ciel murmured, though the insult was more affectionate than scolding.
Sebastian pulled Ciel into a warm embrace, wrapping his arms protectively about the boy's waist and back. Ciel slowly returned the gesture, his arms draped around Sebastian's neck. He rested his chin on the man's shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing in his sweet scent.
"So do you care for me only as a mere servant, or something more intimate?" Sebastian asked cheekily. Ciel scowled, blushing again.
"You already know the answer to that," he replied stubbornly. They held each other for a long, tender moment, before Sebastian finally broke the comfortable silence.
"Your meal is getting cold, my lord," he murmured quietly. Ciel made an unintelligible noise in the back of his throat, and nuzzled comfortably into the crook of Sebastian's neck.
"Can we stay like this a little longer?" He asked softly. Sebastian let out a low chuckle, and gently kissed the top of Ciel's head.
"As you wish, young master."
A few minutes later, he added "You know, I really am honoured." Ciel glanced up at him and attempted a death glare, but it turned out as a small, yet beautiful smile instead.
"Oh, shut up," he murmured playfully, resting his head back against Sebastian's chest.
Ciel was suddenly overcome by a strong feeling of peace, as well as certain contentment that his soul was Sebastian's and Sebastian's alone. He had never felt safer and more secure than he did now, lost in the demon's embrace. As long as he had Sebastian, he could endure. Until the day he finally got his revenge.
And while Ciel snuggled deeper into Sebastian's arms, Sebastian carefully slipped the photograph of the two of them in Ciel's study into his pants pocket where it would stay for eternity.
.
.
.
The End.
