It was a totally ordinary day. But it was the ordinary days Nicole hated. She wanted the days to be extraordinary. Then it used to be that her mother was feeling better, she was happier. But those extraordinary days was, as said, rare. The normal days the mother, Lena, just sat in the couch or in the kitchen with the curtains pulled down and with a cup of coffee or maybe a cigarette. With pale skin, because of all the sun it missed, and bags under the eyes, because of all the troubled sleep they endured. The hair was rarely brushed and usually just in a tail. That's how Nicole used to see her. But in the mornings usually Lena used to lie in bed until late, she did not work, but was prematurely retired.
So when Nicole stepped into the kitchen there sat no emaciated, trembling woman in a kitchen chair, which was nice, because Nicole was not able to bear to look at her so early in the morning. She tiptoed quietly to the fridge and prepared breakfast for herself. Then she made breakfast to her mother, too, and put in the fridge for Lena to eat when she woke up. Everything was done after routine. If it are changed, the weak security would be broken and Nicole didn't dare to do it. As she stood at the kitchen door, she looked sadly over at Lena's bedroom and longed for a long hard hug. But she wouldn't get one. Instead she opened quietly the door, to not scare her mother, and then went out from the apartment.
When she came out of the building she took a deep breath, took away all the barriers in her head and thought happily, "Good morning, slept well?" in her head. She had always done that. She pretended that someone, somewhere in the world, could read minds, and Nicole thought it would be pretty lonely to know what exactly everyone thinks, but no one knew what this person was thinking. So then Nicole talked every day with herself, so if this person heard her thoughts, then it would be like having a conversation with anyone, except that he/she would not be able to respond.
It was quite complicated and a bit wacky, Nicole had once told this to a classmate a few years ago, but her friend had looked at her like she was a ailien, so Nicole had laughed and said that she was only joking. But talking to herself, or, with this person, had gotten Nicole's day easier to bear. When something happened that she did not want to share, she thought to herself that she just put up a big door that protected her thoughts, then she thought no more of the matter when she took off the door.
Then she never talked about special people with her "imaginary friend", because what if that person was the one who heard what she thought? It would not be so fun. She sent again a second thought to this person.
"I myself slept pretty good, but it's a mad dog in the room below me who just barks and barks all the time."
She laughed to herself. She did not care if it was the owner of the dog who could read minds, then he/she to hear it.
"But what good weather we have, right? I really love the spring, then it is rarely too hot and it always smells so fresh! Sure, it rains and all, but I have no problem with it, rain sounds so beautiful when it hits the roof .. I wonder what your favorite season is .. Though, oh, it might not be nice weather where you are? Then you'll forgive but I will enjoy mine. "
Nicole grinned in her thoughts, she loved to talk to her "imaginary friend". Even though it was a little disappointing to never get any response. In school, she had almost no friends. She had withdrawn most people to avoid telling something about herself and her life. Sure it happened that the "friends" talked to her, and Nicole responded always friendly, but she was never engaged in the conversation. After a while, she had been the quiet girl who just was there. Although there had Nicole's imaginary friend become a rescue. It was almost ironic when she thought how surprised her classmates would be if they understood how talkative she was inside her own head.
All the way to school, Nicole was talking happily with her imaginary friend about everything from what she dreamed of what she would do in school today. But she skillfully avoided subjects had with her family and her mother to do. She never talked about that. Not even with her "imaginary friend". As she walked past a bunch of girls who stood and talked and watched a girl who seemed to brag about something, Nicole thought;
"I really hate peoples false facades." Then a thought popped into her head before she could stop it. "And I really hate mine."
