Hating Myself
Sakura's POV
Dear Diary,
I can't believe it's been--
I stopped and put down my pencil.
What was I thinking, anyway? I can't write about it. But I had to do something… it can't be good to sit here, with this bottled inside.
Dammit, why had I done it? Was I that much of a coward?
I was too worried about my own life.
And he wasn't. He would've died. Hell, he did die. All for me.
And all I could do to thank him was sell him out.
The vision haunted me. His torn, broken body mangled on the ground. The pain evident on his blood-streaked face. And yet he looked up at me. And smiled. He had forgiven me.
My stomach was churning. I hadn't eaten since that day. The day he'd died. My stomach couldn't take it. I remember, they had taken him away. His limp body on a stretcher, face still smiling, eyes closed as if he were sleeping.
I stood. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out. At least away from my apartment. I headed towards the door, and reached one shaking hand toward the cold, brass handle. I didn't know where I was going.
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Eventually, I found myself wandering towards the graveyard. I walked, up and down, row after row, of silent tombstones. Until I heard it. Someone crying. I found myself strangely drawn towards the sound, though my heart pounded, almost dreading what I might find.
It was Hinata. His girlfriend. They had started going out about a month before his death. She hadn't been happier in her life. Not she couldn't be more miserable.
I sat down beside her. She had been kneeling in front of his grave. Her face was red and blotchy, as if she'd been crying for a long time.
We sat next to each other in silence for the longest time. Until I asked the question on my mind.
"Do you hate me?" I asked quietly.
"Hate you, Sakura-chan?" She asked in her soft, gentle voice. It made me sick. All she wanted was him, all her life. Then when she was happy, I had ripped it away from her.
"For killing him?"
"You did not kill him."
"I sure helped."
Hinata smiled at me. "You didn't mean it. It was a mistake."
I smiled gratefully, tears now streaking down my cheeks. She was just as forgiving as him. Oh God, I don't deserve their forgiveness. Not for anything.
Hinata's shoulders shook will silent sobs beside me. I placed my arms around her frail body. Hot tears poured down my face as I read the grave's inscription over and over.
Naruto Uzamaki
Konoha Ninja
And would-be Hokage
Hero
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A/N: Well… there it is. It's kinda short. It seemed longer in hand-writing. Maybe I shouldn't write so big… ) Anyhow, this is my first one-shot… and my first fan fiction… so…. Hope it wasn't too bad. Thanks for reading it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story… I don't own the show Naruto… and everything else along those lines.
