Starts with goodbye
It was a beautiful morning in LA. Lucas&Peyton were sleeping next to each other in the hotel room. Last night he called her and asked her to marry him in Vegas. They went there, but instead of getting married by Elvis, they went to LA, back in the hotel room Lucas proposed to Peyton years ago and she said 'No'. They went there to make a dream come true: to be back there in that hotel room and this time her to accept the proposal. It felt like for the first in a very long time, life was great. The two of them seemed so peaceful in each other's arms. Nothing could happen.
The phone rang, waking Lucas and he picked it up.
"Hello."
Peyton woke too and she kissed Lucas' cheek.
"Lucas, it's Haley. Where are you?"
She sounded broken. Lucas was really worried.
"In LA with Peyton. What is it, Hales?"
He could hear Haley crying.
"You need to come home. Both of you. Right now."
"Haley James-Scott, what the hell is going on? Is it something with you or Jamie, or Nathan…"
"No, it's Brooke, Luke."
"What about Brooke? Is she alright?"
The thought that something had happened to her was unbearable. Lucas could swear that Haley was breaking down on the other side. What has happened to Brooke? Was she alright? Lucas was scared as hell. Peyton looked terrified.
"Haley, tell me what the hell happened?"
"She's dead, Luke. Brooke's dead."
Suddenly, Lucas' whole world crashed down. This had to be a mistake. Brooke had to be alright.
"Luke, please, come home. We need you."
And she hung up. Lucas couldn't realize it. It must have been a joke. Brooke couldn't be dead.
"Luke, what is it? Babe, is Brooke ok? What did Haley say?"
Peyton was scared as hell. And Lucas' silence made her freak out even more.
Lucas still couldn't believe what he just heard. This just couldn't be truth. He called Nathan who picked up immediately and barely said just:
"Luke…"
The sound of his brother's voice made him realize it was truth. She was gone…
"NO!"
Lucas screamed. He saw her. Each moment they spent together came to his mind. Brooke Davis… She was gone.
Peyton was going insane. When she heard Lucas screaming, she caught the phone. She had to know hat happened to her best friend, her sister.
"What's going on?"
"Peyton, I don't know how to say it…"
Nathan was crying. Something terrible happened and Peyton knew it now.
"Nathan, please…"
"She's dead. Brooke's dead."
Peyton drop the phone. Brooke… Tears were falling from her eyes. She couldn't move or do anything. She just stood there, frozen.
Lucas couldn't move either. Brooke was dead. His Pretty Girl… How could that happened? He couldn't think about it. He couldn't think about anything. In that moment, he could only feel. Pain, grief, sorrow, emptiness, anger, despair. He was shaking. Everything around him seemed black and cold. Brooke was gone…
*-*-*
They were standing in the graveyard. There were lots of people. Family, friends, colleagues, fans. Richard and Victoria Davis were the closest ones to the coffin. Next to them were Peyton, Lucas, Haley, Nathan, Jamie, Karen, Mouth, Millicent and Rachel. Also Skills, Bevin, Fergie, Junk and some other classmates were there. Grief was all in the air. The priest was talking but there were a few who were able to listen to him. The others were too lost. The funeral ended eventually. Most of the people left. The only ones who stayed were Brooke's parents, Peyton, Lucas, Nathan, Haley and Jamie.
Soon, Mr. and Mrs. Davis left. They couldn't take it any longer. No matter how distant they were, Brooke was their daughter and they just saw her being buried in the ground.
Nathan was pale, his eyes were red. He just looked in the ground. He knew Brooke his whole life. She was one of his best friends. She was the one who has always understood him without need of words. She was always there for him. Beautiful, strong, selfless, loving, finny. Brooke Davis. And now she was gone. Nathan was crushed.
He hugged Haley. She was crying like a baby. Brooke died long before her time. She was so young, energetic, amazing, and loving. She did not deserve this. She deserved to be with her friends, meet the love of her life, get married, have kids and be the happiest person in the world. And now, she was dead. Haley just couldn't believe that her friend, who she loved with her whole heart was gone. Her tears were still falling and she took Jamie's hand.
He was too little to understand it all. He just knew that his Aunt Brooke was gone. He loved her. She was good and nice and funny. But she wasn't there anymore. She was in heaven. He was going to miss her so much.
Nathan, Haley and Jamie hugged and started walking, Jamie in Nathan's arms, and Haley hugging him.
Peyton was looking at her best friend's grave. She couldn't cry anymore. Her eyes have dried up. She just stood there, aching. She lost a friend. She lost her best friend. She lost her sister. She lost Brooke. The girl who was her family all those years. The girl who has helped her go through both her mom's deaths, who saved her from Ian, who forgave her everything, who sacrificed her own happiness for Peyton's. Brooke. She was dead. Killed by some monster. Peyton didn't know how she could live from this moment on. How could she face a world where Brooke Davis did not exist anymore. She looked at Lucas for a second and tried to hold his hand.
Lucas stood there. Empty. Broken. Devastated. Peyton tried to touch him, but he pulled back. He couldn't bare it
"I'm gonna go, Lucas. See you later."
She took one last look at Brooke's grave and walked away.
Lucas was alone. Looking at the grave of one of the most amazing people ever born. Brooke Davis. He still couldn't believe it. He saw her funeral and still wasn't able to realize that she was gone. From the moment he learned, a single tear hasn't fallen from his eyes. He has barely spoken a word to anybody. He just couldn't. Because if he did, he would break down. He was lost, scared, terrified and crushed. He was looking at the grave. Suddenly, Brooke was in front of his eyes. Many flashbacks came to his mind. He saw her laughing, crying, cheerleading, dancing, being Brooke…
"How many moments in life can you point and say 'That's when it all changed.'? You just got one."
"I never gave a rat's ass before, ok? But I do know."
"I wasn't ready to be lost."
"I missed you, Lucas Scott."
"There are 82 letters in here and they're all addressed to you."
"I am here."
"Sometimes I just wish you could rescue me."
"I promise."
"I love you, Lucas. And I probably always will."
"Lucas Scott is gonna change the world someday."
"We've been through a lot, me and you."
"I love you Lucas Scott, you know that."
All those memories came to his mind. He saw her face, heard her voice, felt her touch, sensed her scent. And suddenly, there was the grave where she was laying. He couldn't be strong anymore. He kneeled and broke down. Tears were falling from his eyes.
"I, I'm sorry, Brooke. I'm so sorry! This is all my fault. I should have saved you as I promised. I should have never let anybody hurt you. I shouldn't have hurt you myself. I should have always been there for you. And I was not. And now you're gone and I… I can't do it. I can't live without you, Brooke. I just wish this was a nightmare and when I wake up, you'd be there laughing again. I want you , I need you in my life. And I'm so scared. How I'm gonna do it without you? You have always been there for me, listening to me, helping me, giving me strength. You were my rock. And now I lost you… I wish it was me. I wish I died instead of you. Cause you're too amazing. How could this happen to you? How could fate or God or whatever it is take you away? It's not right, it's not fair… I miss you so much, Pretty Girl! I love you so much! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry."
He was there, crying. He couldn't stop. He hid his pain too long and now he had to let it out. He thought he was alone, but suddenly someone touched his shoulder.
"Let it out. Just let it out."
Karen Roe was standing there, watching her son more crushed than ever. She was devastated herself. She loved Brooke so much. She could barely breathe now. But she knew how Lucas felt, how billion times harder was for him. Like it was for her when Keith died. Like half of his heart was taken away and the other half was aching and broken. She stood there, watching the grave of the beautiful and kindhearted girl they both loved so much. The girl Lucas was in love with. Yes, she knew he was. And that's why she knew exactly how he felt, how his world was falling apart. She stood there, just touching his shoulder while he still cried.
Lucas just couldn't stop. He has never felt so broken and crushed, lost and insecure. Not even when Keith died. He has lost her. She was gone. Cause he wasn't there to protect her. Like he promised to years ago. And she has always been saving him. But he didn't manage to do it. He didn't save her and now, she was gone forever. The thought that he was never going to see her smile, or hear her voice was unbearable. He never told her how much she meant to him, how important she was to him, how much he loved her…
Lucas was standing next to the grave, finally letting out all the pain of losing Brooke.
*-*-*
Hours had passed since the funeral. It was night already. Lucas finally came home. After he left the graveyard, he just drove around without direction. He drove for hours. He was finally home now. The moment he got into the house, so many memories filled his mind. Suddenly, he went into the closet and took the box with Brooke's letters. He started reading them one by one. 82 letters she wrote to him, explaining the way she felt about him, the love she had for him. He just closed his eyes and stayed like that for a few moments. He heard a knock on the door and went to open it. Peyton was standing there. She looked more like a ghost than like herself.
"Can I come in?"
"Sure."
They went into his room.
"I've been calling you for hours. You never called me back."
"I just needed to be alone."
"Yeah."
Lucas looked at Peyton. He loved her. God, he loved her so much. But now more than ever he knew that there was something else inside of his heart.
"Peyton, we need to talk."
"Yeah, I was about to say the same thing."
They sat on the bed together, next to each other.
"I want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me and I love you very much, Peyton."
"I love you too, Luke…"
"Let me finish. I love you, I know how happy we were in that hotel room and I know that we would be very happy together. But I just can't do this now. Be with you. Get married. I just can't. I'm sorry, I know you need me now, but I need to be alone."
Peyton was looking at him. She knew him very well and she knew that this was coming.
"It's ok, Lucas. I know. I'm here for you if you need me."
"Thank you."
They hugged and Peyton went home. Lucas was alone in his room. He loved Peyton. He loved her more than words could explain. But knew that he was in love with someone else. He knew it when he called Peyton at that airport. Lucas closed his eyes and he was sitting back at the airport, thinking about the three amazing women in his life, and he figured out how he felt about each one of them. Lindsey, he loved her in the past, but as bad as it sounded, it was just something temporary. Peyton. He loved her. He might still had something that perhaps could have been considered as romantic feelings for her – after all they had this epic history behind them. She could make him happy. He knew it. Peyton could make him one of the happiest people in the world, and she was so in love with him. And Brooke. The woman who owned his heart. The woman he was insanely in love with. The last few months when she, Angie and him were like a family felt so right. He let her so deep in and she let him too. He fell in love with her all over again. But after all he put her through in the past, now, when she finally had put her broken twice by him heart back together, he didn't have the right to ask for anything. And besides, he knew she would never do anything with him, because that would hurt Peyton too much. Because that was who Brooke was – always thinking about the others before for herself. Selfless, caring, loving. Amazing.
The past tense made his heart brake again. He looked at the letters again. Then he looked at some pictures of Brooke, of her with Angie, with Peyton, with Nathan, with Haley, with Jamie, with him. He closed his eyes and flashbacks started: the first time he saw her, the night when Peyton was drugged that they spent talking and he realized she had such an amazing heart, their first kiss, the first time she told him how much he meant to her, the night they talked at the beach, the travel back from visiting Haley when she selflessly told him that he was free to go to Peyton, the kiss they shared before she left for California, the kiss on the beach, the night when she gave him the letters and told him she loved him for the first time, the kiss in the rain and how they made love after that, the night he found her in his bedroom after the party in the school, the way she laid in his arms in Rachel's house, the way she hugged him at the rivercourt when he told her about the HCM, the kiss when they danced after their fight on Nathan and Haley's wedding, the night they won the state championship and she was right next to him, the graduation party at Rachel's when she was scared to move on, the night in New York, their talk when she told him she wanted to be a mother, the moments when she, him and Angie were like a family, their last talk… All those moments were captured in his mind. Cause they were the best moments in his life. Lucas sighed. He still couldn't believe that Brooke was gone. He felt pain, loneliness, despair, anger, fault. And regret that he never had the chance to show her how special she was to him, how much he loved her. He didn't know what to do, how to live, how to move on without her.
A single tear fell from his eye.
*-*-*
It's been a weak since Brooke's funeral. Everyone was trying to get back to their lives. Haley got back to work, Peyton called Mia to see how the tour was going, Nathan was trying to help Jamie get through it. Lucas had to go back to his job too. He was driving to Tree Hill high, deep in his thoughts, when the phone rang. He didn't recognize the number, but picked it up anyway.
"Hello."
"Lucas Scott?'
"Yes. Who is it?"
"I was Miss Davis' lawyer, Henry Thompson. I'm very sorry for your loss. I'm calling you because of her will."
Lucas was surprised and couldn't understand what this man was talking about.
" I was the one who prepared Miss Davis's will and I'm calling all the people mentioned in it. You are one of them. And because most of the people who are concerned by it are in Tree Hill, I'm flying tonight to North Carolina and we're going to open it at 2.30 Pm tomorrow at her house. Will you be able to come?"
Lucas felt strange but he already knew the answer.
"Yeah, I'll be there, sir. See you tomorrow."
Lucas hung up. Brooke has left a will. Why? She was so young and full of life… Then he realized probably her lawyer advised her so since she was the owner of a multi million fashion empire. It was so hard to think that he was going to listen to her will. It was another proof that she was gone. Even the though of that was still unbearable for Lucas. But he had to go. For Brooke.
*-*-*
Lucas was standing in front of Brooke's house. It was time to get in, but he just couldn't move. It was too much… To enter her house when she was never going to be there again. Suddenly, he felt an arm on his shoulder.
"How are you holding up, Luke?"
Nathan was there. His voice sounded hollow.
"I just can't go in there, Nate. I can't go in her house when she's never gonna come home again…"
Lucas's voice was trembling.
"I know what you mean. Since this lawyer called yesterday, I just couldn't find a place. I was awake all night, thinking how I could go there, at Brooke's place… But we have to do this. She wanted us to, and I know she had something in her mind when she asked him to read it there. Let's do it for Brooke. She deserves this, man."
Lucas knew Nathan was right. Actually, this was exactly what he was thinking since the lawyer called him. He had to be strong for Brooke.
"Yeah, you're right. Is Hales coming?"
"She's here. I asked her to give me a minute with you when I saw you here."
"Thanks, Nate."
His brother went to the car and hugged Haley and they went back to Lucas.
"Hey, buddy."
The two best friends hugged. Then the three of them knocked at the door. A man around 50 opened the door.
"Haley, Lucas and Nathan Scott, I suppose?"
"Yeah."
"Come in."
It was so wrong. To be invited in Brooke's house by a stranger. Lucas barely could stand that. He saw Brooke's parents and Peyton.
"Have a seat. We are waiting for just one more person and we could get started."
How could he talk like that? Like they were about to have a party? Lucas was getting more and more pissed every second. He sat next to Peyton, who looked still like a ghost of herself.
"Hey. How are you
holding up, Peyton?"
"I'm trying. I'm trying so hard, but
I just seem to drown deeper and deeper."
"I know. Where have you been staying?"
He knew Peyton couldn't stay in the house she used to live with Brooke in.
"At a hotel. I didn't want to bother Nathan, Haley&Jamie."
"Did I hear right, Peyton?"
Nathan has heard what Peyton said.
"Yeah, Nate. You need to support each other right now as a family. I can't bother you."
"You're our family too. We are all family. We need each other. You are staying with us, as long as you'd want to."
"Thanks, Nathan."
They hugged. Lucas was glad Peyton wouldn't be alone.
"Luke, do you know who are we expecting?"
"No idea."
Then, Karen roe went into the room.
"Mom?"
"Hey, kiddo."
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming, I could drop you with my car…"
"It's ok, Lucas. I needed to walk, and I know you needed to be alone."
He looked at his mother and he didn't say a word. He was so thankful for her understanding. Since Brooke's funeral, he didn't stay much at his place. They didn't spent even 24 hours together for the last week and he knew it was selfish since soon she'd have to go back to New Zealand, but she understood he just couldn't be around.
"Since everybody's here, I think we can start. I was the lawyer of Miss Brooke Davis and as I told each one of you, we are here because of her will. Some of you may be surprised that she had one, but since her business became so serious, she had to make one just in case. Two weeks ago, we met and made some changes because she wanted so. The only one mentioned, but absent is her godson, James Lucas Scott, but considering his age and since both his parents are here, I thought it was more appropriate to not have him here. It would be too traumatic for a 5 years old boy. It is for me, who barely knew her, and I can't imagine what it is for all of you, who knew her better and loved her. I'm really sorry for your loss. But we are hear for a reason."
He took a folder and opened it.
"The will is totally legal and it can't be discussed."
How could he think anybody would dispute? Lucas couldn't understand.
"So, I'm going to tell each one what she had left to you. Mr. and Mrs. Davis, your daughter left you the ownership of her stores everywhere, except for Tree Hill. She had left you also her stocks of COB. But she has also left some conditions that you have to respect, otherwise you will lose the company. I'll let you know what this conditions are later. Mr. Nathan Scott and Mrs. Haley Scott, to you, Miss Davis has left 100 000 $. Also, he has a fond for her godson's college education that he will be able to use when he turns 18. The fond has 50 000$ in it. Until his 18th birthday, you, his parents have rights to that fond. Ms. Sawyer. Miss Davis has left you this house, also a bank account of about 50 000$ and has reassured financial support for your label for the next 10 years. Ms. Roe and Mr. Lucas Scott, you have the ownership to the store of COB here in Tree Hill. He has also left to each one of you a bank account of about 50 000$ each. According to Miss Davis' will, her car and her jewelry should be given for charity. Also, from her one of her bank accounts, she wanted to be build a rehab center, the money from another account are going for an organization for helping students with emotional problems. Her will also says that her money should be used for foundations about kids with talents, organizations for kids' and adolescent's safety and to help prevention and treatment of cancer, especially breast cancer, and last, but not least a fond for studies for HCM, ways of preventing and healing it."
Lucas couldn't believe it. Brooke wanted to fight everything that had tortured her friends even after her death. She wanted to help them, and people who were like them. She was so generous and kind hearted. He didn't understand why Brooke has left him those money. He didn't know what to do with them. But he knew they should go for a good cause. Something that Brooke would do.
"Two weeks ago, Ms. Davis also left to me a letter to each one of you, plus some other people that I couldn't find, couldn't come or just thought you can deliver the letters too. Those people are Marvin McFadden, Millicent Huxtable, Rachel Gatina and James Lucas Scott. I'll give them now to you, I hope you can find those people and give them the letters."
He left the letters to the table.
"I'm really sorry you had to experience this. I know how hard it must be for you. I hope you'll find peace after your loss. If anyone needs me, you have my number. Good day."
And he left. Everyone stood there, not able to say a word. Mr. Davis was holding his wife while she was crying. Haley just looked at Nathan and her eyes were full of tears. Peyton stood there, staring at the table, fighting the tears. Karen has closed her eyes, holding Lucas' hand. He stood there, absolutely frozen and numb. He was in a room, full of people. But he still felt alone and insecure. Suddenly, he saw Brooke laughing while she was drinking coffee. Then he saw her walking down the stairs. There she was, amusing Angie. In the next second, she was next to him on the couch with the purple monkey. Lucas felt like he was going crazy. Everywhere in the room, he saw Brooke. He just couldn't stay there even a second more. He stood up, got the letter with his name and almost ran away from the house. He went into his car and started driving, not knowing where to. Suddenly, Brooke was there, on the seat next to him. Before Lucas realized it, he was on the rivercourt. He got out of the car and went to the place where he was finding peace once. Now, it brought even more memories. Lucas fell on his knees. The pain of the realization Brooke was gone hit him once again. It was too much for him to bear. He stayed there on his knees and couldn't move. He couldn't breathe. Suddenly, he heard some noise and he realized Brooke's letter has fallen on the ground. He made himself pick it up. Something like smile came to his face. Lucas doubted that the fact she left letters meant so much to any one of the others. Because letters were something so special between Brooke and Lucas. This was Brooke's letter 83. He never imagined it would be like that. A goodbye letter. It wasn't even that. Because she was already gone. Just when he was about to open it, he realized he couldn't. Instead, he went back to his car and this time he knew where he was going.
*-*-*
It was around 7.30 PM. "Tric" was almost empty. It was too early for people to drink. But there, at the bar, was sitting Lucas Scott. He was very drunk, almost asleep. But he wasn't wasted enough to not be able to order one more. The bartender had his doubts. He knew Lucas obviously had a reason to drink, he seemed like he just got his heart broken. But otherwise, he looked like he was about to pass out. So, he decided to ask him what had happened and then consider what to do.
"Man, you're very drunk. Wasted. Why would you want to drink more?"
Lucas tried to look at him.
"It's none of your business. Your job is to give me a drink as long as I'm paying for it. Right?"
The man sighed. He gave Lucas another big whiskey. Lucas started drinking it. He could think clear anymore. The alcohol in his blood has done its will. But he still could feel. And he felt pain and grief. Lucas drank the rest of his whiskey.
"OMG, Lucas, what are you doing?"
Mia saw him just when Lucas's drinks and the fact that he hasn't gotten more than an hour of sleep since he had learned about Brooke made his heard hit the bar and he fell asleep. Mia was worried, she didn't know what to do. The only thing that came to her mind was to call someone.
"Hi, it's Mia. Sorry to bother you, but I need you in 'Tric' a.s.a.p. It's about Lucas."
*-*-*
Nathan and Haley saw Mia and Lucas at the bar and ran towards them.
"OMG. How much has he drunk?"
"Well, I can't tell you exactly, but the bartender said that it was way too much. As we can see."
Haley put her arm around Lucas' shoulders.
"Oh, Luke."
"I'm gonna take off. Will you take him home?"
"Yeah. Thanks for calling."
Mia nodded and left. Nathan and Haley shared a look.
"Let's take him home."
*-*-*
It was around 10.30. Lucas woke up. He didn't remember how he got home. He had an awful hangover. The last thing he remembered from the previous day was how he went to 'Tric'. He knew what happened after that, though. He got drunk. Well, that's why he went there. Then, his mother entered the room.
"Morning, Lucas."
"Hey, mom."
He saw she was hurt from his actions right now, but he wasn't in the mood to talk.
"Lucas…"
"Mom, not now, please."
"Just wanted to ask you something. Do you think Brooke would have wanted you to avoid everyone and get drunk?"
Lucas looked at his mother. How could she say something like that.
"Don't go there."
"Why, Lucas? Because you know I'm telling you the truth. If she was here, Brooke would wanted to…"
"Stop it! Just don't tell what Brooke would wanted… You can't know. You can't. Cause she's not here anymore. She's dead."
The sound of his words hurt him. It was so hard to tell them, but even harder to hear them from his own mouth.
"Lucas! I've been there. I know how you feel. You remember, right? I was there when Keith died. I still am, Lucas."
He realized it now. That his mother went through the same thing. The person she loved was taken away from her. But suddenly, another thing came to his mind. Something he was trying to avoid thinking of.
"It's my fault."
Karen's face became worried and loving again.
"Lucas…"
"It's my fault. Just like Keith's death. If I didn't went back in that school, he would still be alive. If I had kept my promise to Brooke, if I had been there to protect her, she'd still be here. I'm just like Dan – a murderer. I may have not killed anyone on purpose, but I'm still responsible for the death of two people I love so much…"
"Lucas Eugene Scott, don't you dare! Don't blame yourself. It is not your fault. It's not your fault that Dan murdered his own brother. And it's definitely not your fault that this… animal robbed the store and beaten Brooke to death."
"You remember the first day after Keith's funeral that I had to go to school? The same night, Brooke came to my room, and she was so afraid and we promised to rescue each other from everything. And since then, Brooke has always been saving me. When I had to give up basketball, when I didn't know what to do after Peyton said no, when Lindsey left me… She was the one who saved me from giving up. If she wasn't there, I don't know what would have happened. And what did I do? I broke her heart. Twice. When she needed me, I was never there. When her mother was mean to her, when she was lonely and needed a real friend, when she was in that store… She needed someone to protect her and I was supposed to be that person. I failed and now she's gone…"
Lucas was weak. He felt more lost, insecure and alone than ever.
Karen was listening to her son and tears were falling from her eyes. She hugged him and tried to comfort him.
"You were there for her. You were there when she needed help with her campaign, or when she thought she had to leave, you gave her the chance to stay. You were there when she came back here, when she had Angie and when she lost her. You were there, Lucas. She knew how much you cared about her. And she cared about you so much. You know she would never want you to stop living your life or chasing your dreams or being happy. She loved you too much. And you have to move on. For me, for Jamie, for Peyton, for Nathan, for Haley, for yourself and for Brooke. You know, I was a mess yesterday too. You know what made me see clear again? Brooke's letter. Did you read the one she left for you?"
Lucas shook his head.
"I think you should read it."
She stood up and when she was just about to leave the room, she turned back to Lucas and said:
"I'm proud of you. And I'm sure Keith and Brooke are too."
Then Karen left him alone. Lucas thought about what his mother said. He grabbed Brooke's letter. He saw his name, written with her handwriting that he knew so well. His hands were trembling while he was opening it. Then he started reading.
"Hey, Broody!
If you read that, then I'm not around any more. I don't know what made me write this letter, I'm still 23 and I'm healthy, but… You know how just in a day everything can change, right? Well, anyway. I don't know what the situation is when you're reading this, what happened to me, what happened in our lives between the time I wrote this and when you're reading it, so many thing may not respond to the present you live in now. But there are some things I need you to know.
First, I don't want you to blame yourself. I know that whatever has happened, you think it was your fault. It's not. Well, except if you killed me, but I guess then the police wouldn't have given you this. Lucas, you saved my life. You saved me billions of times. When? When you made me see that I should not be ashamed of who I am, when you saw what was in my heart and made me feel special. You were the one who showed me how to love and no matter how things between us ended, I'm so thankful to you. You were there for me when they gave me Angie and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it. I never would be able to stand where I am standing when I'm writing this if it wasn't for you Lucas. So you have nothing to feel guilty about. You kept your promise: you saved me numerous times. So it's not your fault. Please, don't blame yourself!
I don't now how things with Lindsey and Peyton are right now, but I hope you have finally found out who you wanna be with and are happy. They are both great women. Of course, I wish that it's Peyton who you end up with, but if Lindsey is the one you truly love, then I'm happy for you. Luke, just don't be alone. If you still haven't made a decision about the woman in your life, let me tell you this: listen to your heart. It will tell you the right name. Chase your happiness and your dreams, Lucas. You're so incredible and amazing and impressive… You already changed the world, Lucas Scott. At least you changed mine. And you deserve to be happy. Just let yourself do it.
We've been through a lot, me and you. I know things haven't been easy, but I want you to know that I was blessed to have you in my life. You've done so much for me. You made me who I am right now. You made me believe in myself, you taught me how to love and were always there for me when I needed you. Thank you so much for everything, Lucas. I love you, you know that? I always have and I always will. You are my first love and one of my best friends. You were my rock. I guess I never stopped loving you the way I did in our junior year. I fell so much in love with you and I know that even if after writing this, I've met someone, those feelings were still there. Because as I told you that horrible night when I broke up with you, I will always love you, Lucas. You probably wonder why I convinced you to go to Peyton then. The reason is simple: as much as it hurt me to now you don't want me, I love you both too much and everything I want is for you two to be happy. And I knew you loved her, and she loved you back. So this was an easy decision to make, and in the same time the hardest one ever. I'm sorry to blowing this on you like than now. I know it's been over for years and it may be weird for you, I don't want to make things complicated, but I've held this in me for such a long time and I never could tell you. So now, when I'm gone, you can finally know: you've always been the one for me, Lucas Scott. I just thought you should now.
And I wanna ask you to take care of our beautiful godson Jamie, of your little brother, of our tutor girl, of P. Sawyer and of yourself, Broody. There is no one else I could trust enough to ask for something like that. And I know that everything is going to be just fine.
I know you hurt now. I know you miss me. Cocky, right? But, please, Lucas, go there and live your life. Write books, coach kids, be with your friends, love, start a family. Please, Lucas, be happy. That's all I want.
I love you, Broody.
Brooke"
Tears were falling from Lucas' eyes. Those days he had cried more than in his whole life, but he didn't care. Brooke's words had made him miss her so much more. He never knew how hard it was for her. He never knew that all those years he had continued hurting her. And when she told him to go to Peyton, he assumed she was over him. But no – she once again gave up on her happiness for the people she loved. His Pretty Girl. He loved her too. And she never had the chance to hear it. His heart was aching so much, it was almost impossible for him to breathe. But he had to do it. He had to be strong. For Brooke. That's what she wanted. That's what she asked him for. He owed her that.
"Anything for you, Pretty Girl."
*-*-*
It was a beautiful summer morning in Tree Hill. Lucas was walking through the graveyard with some flowers in his hands and he reached the person he came to talk to.
"Hey, Pretty Girl. Those are for you. I hope you like them. It's an amazing day, isn't it? One of those that you loved the most. And it's kind of a big day, right? Everyone is so excited. Jamie is a bit mad actually. He thinks that the 7 years old boys should not care the rings. Well, I still convinced him. My mom came with Andy and Lilly. You can't imagine how big she is now. And Nathan and Haley are going crazy. She is really excited to be maid of honor. Nathan spend 2 days writing his best man's speech. I really hope he didn't write how crazy she is to marry such a jackass like me. And Peyton… Well, I haven't actually seen her today. Stupid superstitions. But we are happy. She waited so long for that day. And without you, it would have never happened. You were the one who told me to go out there and fight for my happiness. And I did. Now me and Peyton, we are really happy. I love her very much. That doesn't mean I don't love you, Brooke, cause I do. Nothing and nobody can ever change that. You will always be the most special girl in my heart. But I love Peyton too. I'm in love with her too. And I know we are going to have an amazing life together. I so wish you were here. I miss you very much. Every day. I always will. Thank you for everything you've done for me. Well, I guess it's time for me to go get married."
Lucas was smiling.
*-*-*
Lucas was again at the graveyard, kneeling to Brooke's grave. He was holding a baby in his arms.
"Hey, Pretty Girl. I want you to meet someone very special. This is Sawyer Brooke Scott. She's amazing, isn't she? She looks so much like her mom. Peyton says she has my eyes and my nose, but I think that in several years Larry will feel like he has gone 27 years back in the past. I can't tell you how it feels. To have your own child in your arms. I'm so happy that Sawyer Brooke came into my life. I'm so sorry you didn't have the chance to have your own child, Brooke. I know how much you wanted. And I know you would be a hell of a mom. We all miss you. Those whole 4 years, it's just not the same without you. And I can't believe that Sawyer Brooke will never meet her Aunt Brooke who would spoil her like crazy. But she will know everything about you. She's lucky to be named after you. I love you, Brooke. God, I love you so much you can't even imagine. And I miss you every single day. But I'm happy. Really. And I wanna thank you again, cause if it wasn't for your letter, I probably would've never give myself a chance again and now I wouldn't have this amazing family that I love so much. Thank you."
Lucas stood up, holding his daughter. It was such a beautiful day. He looked at Brooke's grave and somehow, he felt that everything was just going to be ok.
