Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
A/N: Okay, I honest-to-god have never written anything like this before; this is my first time writing smut of any kind, and boy did I pick an unconventional place to start. This chapter is comparatively tame (warnings, I guess, for a little bit of making out and underage drinking), but the next chapter gets the tiniest bit... well, sexy, so if that's not your cup of tea I'll understand. If it is your cup of tea, though, please know that I'm way out of my comfort zone, so I'd love to hear what you think in a review! (Or a PM, if you're shy!)
Marley Rose was out of her element.
She was in a hot, crowded, dimly lit room full of teenagers. The stereo in the corner was pumping out an assortment of summer party songs with the base cranked up so high that the air actually seemed to be throbbing. Everywhere around her were people she vaguely recognized from school, all dancing and laughing and drinking and generally having a good time.
Why, oh why, had she let Kitty talk her into this? Why in the world would she, Marley Rose, the lunchlady's pride and joy, the sweet and virginal good girl, want to go to a stranger's house party full of cheerleaders and athletes? The very same people who would throw slushies at her if they met her in the halls at school?
Apparently, access to a keg and a few hours made the McKinley High jocks a lot friendlier. But even with her everyday nemeses willing to bump-and-grind with her on the (living room) dance floor or challenge her to a friendly game of flip-cup, Marley still felt like she didn't quite belong. She moved through the party aimlessly, trying to seem like she was moving with a purpose so she didn't feel so entirely awkward, when to her immense relief she spotted Jake and Kitty through the open garage door, facing a couple of members of the basketball team in what looked like a heated game of beer pong. Sidestepping her way around a couple who were enthusiastically making out in the doorway, Marley made her way to Jake's side. "How's it going?"
Jake grinned down at her, looping an arm around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss on the forehead. "We're on fire." They both watched as Kitty took a shot and sank it, before doing a celebratory shimmy that most of the guys in the room seemed to enjoy.
"Who's on the basketball team again, guys?" Kitty crowed as one of her opponents missed his shot, inciting laughter from the onlookers. "With aim like that, it's no wonder McKinley's got a losing record!"
Marley smiled with the others, but Jake must have noticed how forced it was. "You okay, Marley?"
"Uh huh. Fine." Marley said with a smile, tilting her face up for a kiss. He tasted like beer, but Marley didn't mind. Jake's kisses always made her heart pound a little harder. "I think it's your turn." she said when they separated.
Kitty was holding out a ping pong ball to him. "You're damn right it's your turn. Don't screw this up, Puckerman. We're so close." There was one cup left on their opponents' side of the table.
Jake released Marley and took the ball, lining up his shot. When he made it, a cheer went up through the garage and Jake laughed as he was suddenly the recipient of a hailstorm of high fives and claps on the back. Marley stood a few feet back, watching him fondly, even a little enviously... he made fitting in here look so effortless.
Oh yeah... this was why she'd agreed to come. It was really good to see Jake being a happy, normal high school kid, hanging out with his friends. She knew he had always had trouble finding a place to fit in due to his loner tendencies and his biracial heritage, so when he'd asked her to come with him to party with McKinley's athletic set, she had wanted to be a good girlfriend and accompany him. He was a model boyfriend, and he never asked her to do anything out of her comfort zone. And if she got to see him smile like that, she'd happily grin and bear the awkwardness for one night.
Kitty sauntered over and hooked her arm around Marley's neck. "You look miserable. Are you still sober?"
"Uh... I had a beer when we got here." Marley offered feebly.
Kitty sighed with annoyance. "That was like two hours ago." she looked around and gestured to one of the guys. "Hey, Tim!" When he looked over, she pointed at Marley. "This girl needs another drink."
"Sure thing." Tim smiled at Marley in a way that he probably wouldn't in the halls of McKinley and opened the minifridge behind him. "Jello shot?"
"No." Marley denied, shaking her head.
"Yes." Kitty said, overruling her. Tim handed them each a tiny plastic cup filled with Jello. Kitty clinked hers against Marley's. "Come on, Laura Ingalls. Loosen up. One Jello shot won't kill you."
Marley rolled her eyes and took the shot, enjoying the burning sensation as the cheap alcohol slid down her throat. Then Kitty grabbed a beer can, opened it, and placed it in Marley's hand. "Drink this, but don't let it out of your sight." she warned.
"Kitty..." Marley protested.
"Relax." Kitty directed. "Trust me, okay?"
Marley refrained from pointing out that the last time she'd done that, she'd ended up in an eating disorder clinic. Kitty was different now, and it wasn't fair to hold that against her. "Okay." she gave in with a half smile.
Kitty began towing her toward the door. "We're going to go get our dance on." she announced to the guys. "Jake, you're gonna have to find a new partner."
"Have fun." Jake said, dismissing Kitty, but Marley didn't miss the secret wink meant just for her. Maybe it was just the Jello shot that made that warmth bloom in her stomach, but she didn't think so.
Kitty, of course, barreled through the crowd of groping teens effortlessly, dragging Marley along for the ride, until they were in the middle of the dance floor. It was hot, and the beer was cold, and it did get easier to relax as the alcohol made its way into her system. Marley even tried out some of her less-dorky glee club dance moves, to Kitty's laughing approval. An arm snaked around her waist from behind and Marley suddenly found her back pressed against the chest of a random stranger, gyrating to the music. When she shot a look of wide-eyed alarm at Kitty, the cheerleader just grinned and gave her the 'O-K' symbol.
She managed to extricate herself from the stranger as the songs changed and slipped out of the dancing crowd, Kitty giggling at her side. "Oh my gosh!" Marley said, flushing with heat and embarrassment. "I didn't even know that guy!"
"You know him better now!" Kitty laughed.
"Too well..." Marley said, thinking of how closely they'd danced. "I shouldn't have... I mean, Jake..."
"Oh please." Kitty rolled her eyes. "It was just dancing. Jake's fine. Don't be such a prude."
"I'm not a prude!" Marley argued.
"You so are." Kitty said. "You've probably never had so much as an impure thought about a guy in your whole life, Sandra Dee."
Marley scoffed, blushing just a little. "Whatever, Kitty."
"Hey, Wilde!" Kitty was beckoned from across the room by a football player who was surrounded by a circle of people. "We need a couple more girls over here for spin the bottle!"
Kitty sized up the situation and raised one perfectly-plucked eyebrow. "Seriously? Are we still in sixth grade? What's next, a pinata?"
The football player shrugged his broad shoulders. "Hey, if you don't wanna play..."
"I'm in." Kitty decided. "But my friend here is too much of a pr-"
Marley clapped her hand over Kitty's mouth before she could finish. "I am not!" she said. "But I'm not going to cheat on Jake!"
"Spin the bottle doesn't count as cheating." Kitty assured her. "It's just a stupid game."
Reluctantly, Marley sat down in the circle beside Kitty. She was right, it was a harmless game... but Marley felt a little thrill of anticipation run through her. It wasn't like she was interested in any of these guys; she was perfectly happy with Jake. But she couldn't help but wonder. In her whole life, she'd only kissed two boys... what would it feel like to kiss number three?
One of the Cheerios started the spinning, squealing in delight when it landed on the second-string quarterback, who, truth be told, was kind of cute. After pulling her in for a kiss—a kiss rather more heated than she'd be totally comfortable giving in public, Marley thought nervously—he spun the bottle again.
Marley's stomach clenched with a sudden bout of nerves as the bottle neck swung towards her, but relaxed when it edged past and landed on Kitty instead. Flashing a Cheshire grin, Kitty crawled across the circle and captured the football player's lips, quirking a saucy eyebrow as she pulled back and resumed her place in the circle.
Marley continued to feel the nerves with each spin of the bottle, but little by little, the beer was doing its work and the tension and awkwardness started to abate, leaving her feeling flushed with warmth and laughter. When the bottle finally landed on her, she broke into giggles at the teasing oohs of the other players and looked across the circle.
The spinner was a tall, freckled blond boy, one she recognized as a basketball player from going to watch Jake and Ryder's games. The tentative look he gave her made her wonder if he recognized her too... as Jake's girlfriend. He scooted over next to her, and Marley closed her eyes, prepared to give him a quick peck and nothing more. She definitely wouldn't open her mouth.
It was over before it began, a quick press of the lips before he pulled away to the sounds of groans and jeering from the other players. Marley's eyes fluttered open in confusion. She hadn't been planning to really kiss him, but she'd expected more than that. Why had he pulled away so soon? She saw the boy look at someone behind her, and she started to turn, but Kitty distracted her with an elbow in the ribs and a reminder that it was her turn to spin. She reached out and spun the bottle.
A new person squeezed into the circle, hunkering down between her and Kitty. Marley smiled brightly. "Ryder! I didn't know you were here!"
He gave her that goofy grin that always made her heart skip a beat, and tonight was no exception. "I don't usually come to these things. Kind of surprised to see you here though."
She wasn't sure if he meant at the party in general or in the circle playing spin-the-bottle, but she blushed anyway, ducking her head. "Yeah, well... I don't usually come to these things." she repeated his own words back to him. It was the understatement of the year. He laughed.
One of the Cheerios clapped with glee as the bottle stopped, pointing straight at Ryder. It took a moment for him and Marley to break eye contact long enough to realize what had happened. Marley's heart dropped into her stomach. Jake might forgive her for kissing a random stranger during a game of spin-the-bottle, but he certainly wouldn't be happy to hear of her kissing Ryder, who, after all, had been his chief rival for her heart.
"Oh." he said, looking startled. "Oh...well. You don't have to. I'm not really playing." He started to stand and was booed by the other players, raising his hands in a good-natured gesture of I-know,-I'm-the-worst. "I'm going to get some air."
Marley stood up too. "I could use some air too."
Ignoring the protests of the bottle spinners, they made their way toward the back door. But no sooner had they reached the patio than they realized they weren't alone... an overly amorous couple was occupying the backyard hammock.
Marley looked at Ryder, cheeks aflame. "You know, there's plenty of air inside."
"Good point." he agreed quickly, holding the door open for her to reenter the house. They both laughed as they sat down on the staircase leading to the second floor.
"I'm glad you're here." Marley confessed. "I never know how to talk to people at these types of things."
"I'm glad you're here too." Ryder told her. "But you've got other friends here. Why aren't you with Jake?"
She waved her hand vaguely in the direction of the garage. "He's hanging with the guys." she said, before looking at him pointedly. "Which begs the question: why aren't you with Jake?"
He grinned at her joke. "I haven't seen him. Haven't been here that long."
"Well you came at the perfect time to rescue me." Marley said. "Spin-the-bottle isn't all it's cracked up to be. But why'd you get here so late?"
"I wasn't planning on coming... Actually, I was sitting at home, kind of hoping that Katie would come online." He scuffed his shoe along the sideboard, looking embarrassed, before lifting his eyes to meet hers again. "I know you probably think I'm stupid to keep talking to her after she's lied to me and stood me up-"
She found his knee with her hand and squeezed it. "I don't think you're stupid."
He shrugged. "Anyway, she didn't come online and I realized I should be out doing something, you know? Hanging out with real people for a change. Not that Katie's not real, just-"
"I get it." Marley said softly. Ryder's catfishing situation had been a source of mixed feelings for her—pity for Ryder, hope that he might have found someone to love, anger that that someone would try to take advantage of him, trepidation at who it could possibly be... maybe a little bit of jealousy, that he was so into this 'Katie.' "It must be lonely to not know who you're talking to."
"It is." Ryder admitted. "I mean, it's better than nothing at all, to know that someone, whoever it may be, cares, but-"
"People care, Ry." Marley cut him off. "It's not just Katie."
He placed a hand on top of her hand that was resting on his knee. "I know. I know people care, and I know I've got some really great friends, and I'm so grateful for you guys. But having someone be mine... well, that's different."
He was so sincere, so vulnerable, that it made her heart physically hurt. The longing in his voice made her wish she was still the one he was longing for. It was probably the alcohol that made her brave, her body warm and thrumming with life, and she leaned in towards him. "I owe you a kiss..." she murmured. "From spin-the-bottle..."
His eyes fell closed, and his face moved closer, but at the last minute he tilted his head so that it was their foreheads pressing together instead of their mouths. "...We can't. This isn't a game to me."
Marley shrank back, feeling the sting of a rejected kiss for the second time tonight. "Oh..." she said hoarsely. "You... you don't want to-"
"I want to." Ryder said so vehemently that she couldn't help but believe him. When she smiled, he groaned. "But we've both been drinking, and, well... just, not like this." he sighed heavily. "...Probably not at all. Even if... well... Jake would always be between us."
"Mm." Marley's head dropped onto his shoulder. How could she have been so stupid as to come onto Ryder like that? He was right: it would only complicate things between her and Jake, and him and Jake.
Nothing good could come of it.
"I'm sorry." she whispered. She wished she could blame it on the alcohol, but... it wasn't all the alcohol. Some of these feelings were all her.
"It's okay." he said, and his hand came up to rest on the back of her head, combing through her hair comfortingly.
His fingers felt so good against her scalp, and she could feel herself relaxing into him despite herself. She yawned, picking her head up from his shoulder. "I'm getting kind of tired."
He gave her a soft smile and tilted his head toward the top of the stairs. "Go lie down. I'll find Jake and let him know you're ready to leave."
"Thank you." she sighed gratefully, letting him help her to her feet.
Then he was gone.
She wobbled a little bit on her high heels as she ascended the rest of the stairs. The upstairs hallway was long and dark and filled with expensive artwork. She made a wide circle around a table where a few beer cans lay strewn around a fragile-looking porcelain vase, having a sudden vision of herself accidentally tripping and smashing it.
Reaching the first door, she put her hand on the handle and pushed it in. Immediately, she regretted not knocking, since the room—more specifically, the bed—was currently very much ocupado. The couple in the bed didn't seem to notice her, or, if they did, they didn't mind. For a long moment, she watched, transfixed, as they moved together in tandem, panting, moaning.
She felt the blush spread from her cheeks to her scalp, her neck, her chest. Realizing that she shouldn't be watching this, she tore her eyes away and backed out of the room, closing the door behind her. Tentatively, she knocked at the door to the next room, and finding it empty, slipped inside.
The lace curtains in the bedroom were partially open, and moonlight streamed in, throwing a long rectangle of light across the bed. A few coats were piled on the bed—storage for some of the party guests, but Marley ignored them, crawling up beside them and lying down. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.
She felt... strange. Tipsy, from the beer, sure. A little woozy, a little tired; it had been a long week. But she also felt warm, that blushing, tingling warmth she sometimes felt when Jake kissed her particularly passionately, or when she secretly read those certain parts of her mom's romance novels.
Marley wasn't completely naïve about her sexuality... she and Jake had gone... well... most of the way. But now, tonight... she felt different. Ready. She closed her eyes, imagining Jake leaning over her, hands in her hair, hips pressed against hers, a pair of lips nuzzling her ear, Ryder's soft, low voice whispering her name—
Her eyes shot open.
It wasn't the first time she'd caught herself imagining Ryder when she should be thinking only of Jake. She'd done it the day Jake had taken her to the pottery room as a Valentine's present: imagined Ryder's voice, his eyes... his hands. And since then... well, she'd done it more than once.
Something was pressing uncomfortably into her back, and she shifted, pulling out one of the jackets she'd been lying on out from underneath her. As she tossed it back onto the top of the pile, something fell from the pocket and lay there on the bedspread, glowing.
A cell phone.
She couldn't say what exactly possessed her to do it, but she picked it up and opened a new message, typing in Ryder's cell phone number from memory. In the text box, she typed Meet me upstairs. 2nd bedroom on the right. -Katie xoxo.
She hit send and sat there on the bed, heart pounding in anticipation. Why had she done that? What was she hoping would happen?
It felt like forever before she heard footsteps in the hall, but it was probably less than two minutes. She climbed off the moonlit bed, hiding in the shadows behind the door as it slowly opened.
"Katie?" Ryder's whisper was so low it was barely there as he ducked into the room. He made a startled half-gasp as Marley pushed the door closed behind him, pressing one finger to his lips to silence him.
Then she replaced the finger with her lips.
His arms wrapped around her waist as he kissed her back, pulling her tight against his body in a way that appealed to that primal need she'd been feeling all night. Her own hands ran up the hard planes of his body and tangled into his shaggy hair, and she pressed him up against the closed door, enjoying the soft groan that escaped him at her action.
When he finally broke away, it was only to gasp out another girl's name. "Katie."
Marley felt that rush of jealousy again, the same one she'd felt earlier with Ryder, on the stairs. But she couldn't be the one doing this to him, lying to him, messing with his head. "Oh god. Ryder. Wait. I'm not Katie." she confessed.
She could tell the moment he recognized her voice; his whole body tensed at once and he pulled his hands away from her as if burned. "Marley?" With one arm he reached over and flipped the light switch, flooding the bedroom with light that they both blinked and cringed away from.
The way he was staring at her with shock and desire and betrayal and confusion and red, kiss-swollen lips was making Marley feel more naked than she'd ever been. "Ryder—" she whispered.
"What did you-? I mean, do you-? How? Why?" He was too stunned to even know what to ask.
"I'm not Katie." Marley said again. "I'm sorry I lied to get you up here. It's just that... I wish I was. Her. Katie." Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at the confusion plain on his face. She lifted her hand and placed it over his, which was still resting on the switchplate. "I can't do this with the lights on."
She flipped the switch again to turn off the lights.
He didn't turn them back on.
"Okay." he whispered hoarsely.
She was fully aware that she was hiding behind the darkness when she spoke again. "I wish I was Katie because I wish I was as brave as Katie. Sure, she hides behind a fake screen name, but at least she had the guts to admit that she feels something for you. She's lied to you. I've lied to you and myself."
"Marley, what are you saying?" She couldn't see him anymore, but she could tell he was in turmoil just from his voice—the hope, the dread, the pain was audible.
"I have feelings for you." Marley finished meekly.
"No." he said. She heard him put his hand on the doorknob, but it didn't twist. "You can't. We can't. We talked about this, remember?"
"I know I can't. But I do." she answered. "But it's not just about feelings, Ry. I want you."
"Marley..." he groaned, and the sound sent a shiver right through her. "You're not yourself right now. Don't do something you're going to regret."
"But I am myself." she confessed. "I think about you all the time, Ryder. Kissing me, touching me..."
His voice cracked as he asked, "What about Jake?"
"I love Jake too." Marley said, and Ryder suddenly went very still. She knew that she'd pretty much implied that she loved Ryder as well, and maybe she should have been embarrassed about that, but she was trying to be honest with him right now, and that was the way she felt.
There was a tap on the door and Ryder jumped guiltily, taking a few steps away from her, smoothing his hair down with one hand. "Come in." they both said together.
The door cracked open and Jake's head popped in. "Hey guys, what's up? ...I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" he said jokingly.
Marley's heart started beating double-time. She didn't know whether it was from Jake's sudden appearance, from almost being caught kissing Ryder... or from the idea that was beginning to form in her head. A ridiculous idea. A bad, naughty idea. "Not interrupting." she said breathily.
"Nope." Ryder managed to choke out an agreement.
Jake came into the room and stood behind Marley, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Ryder said you were ready to go?"
Marley leaned back into him, enjoying the feel of being cradled against his strong chest, but she never broke eye contact with Ryder. "I think I changed my mind." she said slowly. "I want to stay." She let her head turn until her eyes were resting on the bed.
Behind her, she heard Jake swallow. "Marls, are you saying—?"
"Mmm." Marley hummed her assent.
Without turning her loose, Jake used one hand to push her hair over one shoulder, dipping his head to kiss her neck. "We don't have to do this now, babe. Not like this. Not unless you're sure."
Marley let her eyes fall closed as he nuzzled and nipped. "You said... you said, when we did this, we could do it my way. Whatever I wanted."
"Whatever you want." he promised.
Ryder had stood motionless while all of this was happening, and now he broke for the door. "Well... I'm just gonna—"
Marley straightened in Jake's arms. "Where do you think you're going?"
Once again, Ryder stood with his hand on the doorknob, frozen in place. "What?"
"What?" Jake echoed, pulling his lips away from her neck.
Marley felt her face heating up. "It's just that I've had this... thought. A... a fantasy, really." The word made her blush even harder, and momentarily she thought she might pass out from all the blood rushing to her face as she gasped out, "Ryder, stay. With us."
