Rules and Regulations

Darwin's Theory of Evolution, by Harry Potter

In my house we have many rules, but all of them revolve around Darwin's theory of evolution. It may be cold, but it is the sad reality of my life. The Dursleys are quick to teach life lessons, to me, at least, and I have known them for the majority of my 10 years. The rules of the house are divided into six different parts, all of which amount to the same thing in the end.

The first rule I remember ever learning is that life isn't fair, and assuming it is, will only get you hurt. When some, Dudley, for example say that life isn't fair they are immediately showered with reassurances, and praise, soon followed by gifts and presents. 'Freaks' like me, however, only get a smack across the face, and a week in the cupboard.

The second law of the Dursley household is that 'Freaks' don't deserve anything, food and water included. This law, I believe, is the most important to the Dursleys, considering that Uncle Vernon made sure to beat it into my head every day.

Our third rule is that emotions are weakness. Each cry of pain from the 'Freak,' deserves another smack. Each smile, or laugh, deserves a kick. Anger, sadness, love; those come with punishments as well, but I won't go into detail. It may be a bit gruesome for school. It is much better to remain emotionless, and stoic. Granted there is a punishment for that as well, but it is not nearly as harsh.

Fourth is never let yourself be weak. The second your guard is down they will swoop in like vultures, descending on your prone form to take away what little you truly have.

Fifth, if you want something take it for yourself. Keep it quiet, secret, or it will be found and taken and then you'll have nothing.

Sixth, do not, under any circumstance, trust anyone. You never know when they will turn on you, and get you in trouble. It is a harsh world, but these rules help me to survive. They all amount to Darwin's theory after all. Only the strongest survive, and I will be the strongest. My name is Harry Potter, and I live by Darwin's Theory of Evolution.

_____

The flashing lights upon Harry's arrival home from school that day were certainly a surprise, though not an unpleasant one. Perhaps his 'dear' family had caught on fire? No, he realized as the woman in the suit walked over to him. It was child services. A small disbelieving laugh bubbled up in his throat, spilling out quietly. Who knew one english paper could cause so much trouble?

One thing was for certain though, he had won. Life may not be fair, but if you could just hold on long enough, if you could just make it to the top... Sirens sung as they carried the Dursleys off to prison.

If you could make it to the top, your survival would become much easier.