A/N: The song "Goodbye Love", I think, has a lot of meaning to it. More than just the heartbreak of Roger and Mimi's relationship, but the heartbreak that Mark feels in the future of losing his loves as well, and the way that he feels. It's an amazingly wise song about the differences in ways that people, even ones as close as Roger and Mark, can picture life so differently. I hope you like this.

I write this, while sitting in the waiting room of the very same hopspital as our dearest Angel, passed away in. The horrifing memory leaks back into my brain no matter how hard I try and push it out. But the pain is resurfacing, just in a different form. Its the form of a different love; a new kind of heartbreak. I write this as my worst nightmare becomes a reality.

Across the room the same agony shows in the eyes of the others. Maureen cries her eyes out on the shoulder of her love, Joanne. They both know the truth. Benny stands against the wall, shocked by whats going on. Numb... like I try to be. But I know the truth, too. I know that within minutes the doctors will come and confirm all the horros of my nightmares.

"Mr. Cohen?" Instantly, I looked up as did all the others. Quickly, we raced over wanting to know everything, but still dreading the answer.

He just sighed and shook his head lightly. "Mr. Davis didn't make it."

We all heard it before, just different names: Angel, Collins, Mimi. Now Roger. It all seemed too familiar. But you never got used to it. That kind of pain hits you hard, right in the stomach. You just break down. The pain is stronger than you, no matter how many times you've been through it.

Automatically, Muareens tears flowed stronger as Joanne tries to comfort her, even though she's breaking down too. Benny turns around, throws his hands in his face, and begins to weap. I just fall to the floor, too overwhelmed by grief to hold myself up.

You'd think that after all the signs from the others showed up in Roger, you'd expect this sort of thing coming, but its still hits me as a suprise. I knew it was coming. I knew the truth. But I also know, miracles happen. After ereverything happened with Mimi, I always hoped it could happen again. Somehow.

But Collins passed. No miracle. Then Mimi, this time with no kind of revival. And now Roger.

I thought maybe this was the chance. We were over-due for happiness, for any type of miracle. But nothing happened. Another heart break.

No ment to be crude, but death is a funny thing. No matter how much you want a miracle, no matter how much you want your best friend to be with you longer, you're happy they're gone, in a better place, with no harm. It's somewhere they can be happy for the rest of eternity.

But it's the ohter way around too. Even if you want them to be happy, free of sorrow, you wish they we're here.

I miss the way Angel could always put a smile on my face with the perfect positive attitude. The way Collins always had some sly comment to add to everything, joking of course. The way Mimi was always so vibrant, so full of life, and always looking for fun. And the way Roger's simple melodies would get stuck in my head and the way he could always find some way to make me laugh.

I miss when it was all of us together.

I remember, after Maureen's protest, at the Life Cafe, how we were all there. Everyone was smiling. The words of our song slowed through my ears lifting me higher into the the serene air of those days.

I mean, of course we had troubles then: unempolyement, over-due rent, durg addiction, and medication payments, along with other things. But none of that mattered. We had each other, which ment we could make it through.

Now its just me, sitting in the loft, thinking about the years. Its amazing how much pain you can go through and still be alive and able to think.

Then the phone rang. I'm not exactly sure of the reason why I didn't pick it up. Maybe it's because I'm so used to just screaning my calls, or maybe because I didn't feel much like talking (which was true), or maybe its because I knew Roger's voice would ring through the loft again. Whatever the reason was, I just let it ring.

And I'm glad I did. Even if it was only for a second, Roger's and my voice connected as one. "Speak." It was a simple word with little point, but it was so familiar, so right, and for that tiny instant of time, I was care-free.

But then it neded as quickly as it had started and reality flashed back. I had thought I was done crying, that all my tears had fallen, but as I listened to Benny's message, more seemed to escape.

"Hey Mark. It's Benny." his voice was soft with a quiet depressed tone. It scared me. "I know you've been through a lot, hell.. all of us have, and I understand if you want to be home for a while. Take a break off of this months rent. I've got it convered." Then he paused for a while. I actually thought he hung up, but then he began again. This time his tone was a little more concerned. "Mark, if you need anything, anything at all, you tell me right away. I'm here for you. I know i havn't been in the past, but I am now. And Maureen and Joanne are too. Dont forget about us. Just... Just take it easy." And that was the end of it.

I don't know what he thought was going to happen though. Rent was due in a couple days and I had never been late since I got my steady job. What was so different now?

I sat up a bit, to both finally move, and to whipe my eyes with my hands. Then I looked at the clock. "8:30." That's starange, I thought, I couldn't only have been laying there for an hour. Slowly, I got up, stretching my muslces. Weirdly, they were tight like E'd been sttting there all day. Then I opened the blinds, which to my suprise, brought bright lights beaming into the loft. "What the..." and then I realized that it was eight-thirty in the morning. I hadn't been sitting there for an hour, I had been sitting there or thirteen hours.

Another thing I didn't realize until then was the rumble in my stomach. Time flies when you're deep in thought, I guess, so I never really thought about being hungry or my desire for food. Maybe I'd been laying there longer than I even thought, if Benny said the rent was already due.

But knowing the only thing in the fridge was old milk and rotten cheese, I grabbed my jacket and slipped out for some fast food breakfast.

I know that was short and pretty emo, but don't worry. Next chapter will be much better. I've already started writing it. Reveiw and tell me what you think.