Oddments: The Musical


Author's Note: Oddments: Reprise is more or less on hiatus because life, as are the majority of my stories actually. Being a senior in college is not actually as fun and wonderful as one would be led to believe – Class work, Rowing, Senior Thesis, Graduate school applications, only twenty four hours in a day and not counting time to sleep, eat, or see other people. I think you can understand my joy. But anyway, I've had these pieces sitting on my hard drive for ages now, some of them are probably a year old or more. I figured I'd do some housecleaning and post them. They were intended to be a part of a larger series. Oddments: The Musical was conceived via a playlist I made that consisted of all the songs that reminded me of the Tudors in some way. There are at least two CDs worth of material on my iTunes, and maybe one day there will be two CDs worth of material in this fic. But right now there isn't.

The pieces in this fic are all directly based on songs and feature the couples and situations that I have introduced in the other two parts of the Oddments series, please refer to those collections for background. As always, read and review, I am very interested in your opinion. And if you know any good songs, my music taste is very eclectic and I enjoy making it more so.


Disclaimer: I am not a Theologian, a Historian, or a TV Producer; I therefore do not own any thing.
Pairing: Thomas Wyatt/Anne Boleyn, Anne Boleyn/ Henry Tudor


Fuck You, Cee-Lo Green

Laughter and the dull roar of hoof beats. Thomas Wyatt looked up from his latest composition in time to watch as His Royal Highness, King Henry VIII streaked by on a chestnut charger. He was followed closely by a black beauty, the raven haired rider laughing wildly. He would know that laugh anywhere. It was the laugh that would make his heartbeat, the sun come out after a rain storm. It was Anne. The King stopped his horse and caught Anne about the waist, stopping her with a deep kiss.

(Chorus)
I see you driving 'round town
With the girl i love and I'm like,
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo
I guess the change in my pocket
Wasn't enough I'm like,
Fuck you!
And fuck her too!

He was a simple poet, married as well. He had nothing to offer her. Nothing but pure love and affection. The King was the king, his word was law. He had riches beyond what he could imagine. He could provide what Thomas could not. Oh, if only he could provide her with such security. If he could buy dresses that caressed and covered her body, the body he once caressed and covered. He wished to cover her in glittering jewels; necklaces, earrings, and broaches that glittered like her eyes.

I said, if i was richer, I'd still be with ya
Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best with a...
Fuck you!
Oo, oo, ooo

Why wasn't his love enough for her? One upon a time it had been. Once, when he was young and he was freshly favored at court he was her only. But her purse only extended so far, his name only brought grandeur in some circles, not all. His name did mean something; he was a favorite poet at court. But his name did not mean enough. No matter what he did it was not enough. He published works; he bought her flowers and other lover's tokens. He was her only until someone new came along.

Yeah I'm sorry, i can't afford a Ferrari,
But that don't mean i can't get you there.
I guess he's an Xbox and I'm more Atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

When she told him she loved him was she lying or was she lying when she whispered the same words to his majesty? She whispered them and he bought her a necklace and she said them, he bought her a house and she proclaimed her undying affection about the court.

Did his majesty notice this pattern? Did he ever stop and think and wonder? No. No, no one second guessed the beauty of Anne's eyes.

I picture the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend

(chorus)

His living expenses were much more manageable now that he did not have to pay court to anyone. He was not spending his every spare cent on an impressive suit or beautiful broach. He had a savings account of sorts now and more hours in the day to devote to gentlemanly activity – reading and riding, hawking and hunting. He missed some of the activities he and Anne partook of but on the whole his life was much simpler without such an influence.

Now I know, that I had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.
'Cause being in love with your ass ain't cheap.

I picture the fool that falls in love with you
(oh shit she's a gold digger)
Well
(just thought you should know nigga)
Ooooooh
I've got some news for you
i really hate yo ass right now
(chorus)

Watching the King and Anne play together, laughing, touching, kissing, riding. Zounds, though his head knew he was better off without her his heart …. Oh his heart hurt. His everything hurt. He slammed his notebook shut and leaned back against the tree and pinched the bridge of his nose, blowing air out between his teeth. A pause, a deep breath. Thomas opened his eyes and opened his notebook to a fresh page. This was the kind of catharsis only words could express. Except the only thing he could write was …

I still love you.

Now baby, baby, baby, why d'you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?

(so bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
"this is one for your dad"
(your dad, your dad, your dad)
Uh! Whhhy? Uh! Whhhy? Uh!
Whhhy lady? Oh! I love you oh!
I still love you. Oooh!

(chorus)