A/N: I'm back! New stuff. But I wonder if I should finish the old stuff too. My writing style is different. More plot, less sexy sex. Lemme know what you think. For now, new story.

The Vampiric Inquisition

She licked her lips as she was hungering deeply for blood. Spying on rather boring looking prey, she was amused to find the musk of the human was more enticing. Alice could smell thick puffs of the life giving liquid wafting off the human's breaths. The human looked a little aimless, wandering, biting her lip as if it would save her. Alice smirked. Straight brown hair, stretching nearly to mid back emitted a generally soapy smell. She was lanky, and her face long, thin pink lips, and eyes squinted in befuddlement. Alice smirked cockily. Unimpressive.

Alice stretched her short, yet lithe body along the tree branch hardly disrupting its resting place. Her hands splayed in front of her gripped the branch. In one fluid motion, Alice's body was hanging down from the branch, supported by those same hands. The female wandered back and forth under Alice's shadow. Alice yawned and released her grip on the tree just as the human was turned around. Landing without even a crunch of decaying leaves, Alice grinned just as the woman turned, the two locking eyes.

Alice silenced her immediately, covering her mouth, bending her neck, and readying her mouth for prey. And just like that Alice closed her eyes and bit down…

On a rock hard hand. She penetrated the pale skin easily enough, though was angered to see no blood erupting from it. Instead a dusty, hollow bone greeted her. She flicked her eyes up to see Edward Cullen, one of her coven mates.

The Cullen Coven was famous for its generosity, immense charity, understanding, and most of all, the "vegetarian" lifestyle; they didn't eat humans, period. Alice had joined the coven long ago, however had never truly committed to the vegetarian lifestyle. Instead she dibbled and dabbled here and there without shame. The other Cullens seemed to be suspicious of her, as often times her eyes would be a crimson tinted honey rather than the warm honey brown of the coven. Nevertheless she never fully adopted the protocol and thus hadn't taken the coven name of "Cullen". She remained Alice Brandon.

But when Alice looked to see the pale, idiotic looking Edward, her eyes narrowed. His hair was ridiculous, and his face looked to be a cross between constipation and intense fury. His jaw was pronounced from the rest of his head and Alice was ready to quickly rid him of it altogether.

"Alice. What do you think you're doing? Preying on humans!" Alice rolled her eyes while removing her teeth from his hand.

"I am hunting. Leave me and my prey alone." Edward looked bewildered.

"Prey? Bella is not prey!"

"Oh, it has a name. Well then, leave me and Bella alone." The woman identified as Bella, shuddered and grasped Edward's lean arm. Alice scoffed. Pathetic.

"Bella is my—"

"Girlfriend is it? Lover? Well I'll tell you what she is to me… Prey!" With her exclamation, Alice snatched Bella from Edward and took off into the woods behind him.

Just before she could take off, Carlisle caught Alice mid flight, Bella with her. He dropped Bella, his arms wrapped tight around Alice's writhing form. His eyes narrowed, though his voice light, he said one thing.

"Let's talk."

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"And you've been breaking rules, Alice?" Damn, how Alice hated to hear the man drone on and on about principals or other nonsensical things. It was the umpteenth time she'd heard this speech in particular, and he didn't seem to register that she hadn't cared anymore since the first time she'd broken the rules, and she wouldn't care at all anytime soon.

"Furthermore, Isabella is Edward's lover." Alice scoffed, and mumbled,

"Right. And a squirrel is my prostitute." Equipped with vampiric hearing, though it went unheard by Bella, Carlisle frowned.

"Alice. Respect his decision."

"But—"

"And if I catch word of such behavior again, we will have to sit and discuss it once again. Understand."

"Understood." Alice grumbled begrudgingly, glaring at Edward, who snarled back. She then glanced at Bella and seductively wriggled her tongue from her mouth. Bella's heart rate spiked as she gripped Edward's arm harder. "Yes, I understand perfectly."

-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-zzz

Alice had been thinking. And she had decided on one thing. She would most definitely kill, and consume Bella. So, the inventive pixie vampire had thought of a foolproof plan.

PLAN #1:

1. Alice would stalk Bella.

2. Alice would wait for Bella in her car.

3. Alice would surprise Bella and eat her.

It was perfectly logical to Alice, and she was so sure it would work that she would've bet money on it had she not been wasting it on arcade games last summer. Those little shits were addictive. She inwardly damned Emmett for his childlike persuasiveness. She focused back in on her plan. Edward wouldn't be an issue as she would continuously sing "Twinkle, Little Star" over and over in her head. She was going to get her prey, whether Edward liked it or not.

-z-z-z-z-z-z-z-zzz

The time had come. Bella was prancing around idiotically as she always did when she thought no one was watching. Wandering, wandering. Farther out than she typically intends to and then she ends up in trouble. And when that happens, before Alice could sense out Edward's distinct scent, she would've befriended Bella, trapping her.

Alice saw Bella's head swivel around in desperation from her treetop position. Alice chuckled. Showtime. She glided down the tree, a few feet from Bella. She made sure to make a lot of noise and advance slowly as to win over her trust.

"Bella. Bellllla!" Bella's head snapped over to Alice and instantaneous fear engulfed her features. "Woah, woah. I'm cool. I've learned that you're not prey, just Bella." Alice chirped. She approached carefully. She fiddled with her hands to fool Bella into thinking she was bashful and embarrassed. "I-I just—I was in the bloodlust and you were the next thing that walked by and, I can be a real bitch when I'm hungry. I apologize." Alice emphasized with a bow of her head. Bella breathed in slowly.

"It's ok. I mean, Carlisle explained everything." Alice inwardly grinned, she was falling for it. "I'm just a little… You know, wary."

"And rightfully so. Can I make it up to you?" Bella cleared her throat nervously.

"What, uh, what did you have in mind?" Bella asked. Alice smiled at Bella giddily.

"If Edward hadn't told you before I went haywire, I love to shop and well, I'd love to go with you." Recognizing Bella's apprehension, Alice quickly tacked on, "I ate already. Just some rabbits and horses, honest. I'll even drive." Alice's felt Edward approaching. She had to hasten progress. "C'mon, I'll race you to your car." Bella let out a small smile.

"I guess so." Bella relented. Alice grinned.

"I was serious about that racing thing." Alice sped off to Bella's truck, giggling. She heard Bella's footsteps soon behind her in awe.

Yes! Winning! Alice felt Edward come towards Bella. Right on schedule. Alice slipped under Bella's truck, clinging to the bottom. Now to think about stars twinkling in the night sky…

It wasn't long before Bella showed, Edward in tow. Alice kept her mind on the stars while observing.

"Uhmm… Where is Alice?" Asked a clueless Bella.

"I smell her… But all I can hear is… Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star?" Edward sniffed. Alice wanted to giggle, but remained focused on her disguise.

"Can't you just, y'know, find her?"

"She's singing it. Loud. Damn it all. She's up to something." Edward narrowed his eyes. Alice almost felt sorry for the dumbass bastard, but she kept her thoughts on the stars a'twinklin' up above.

"She's legit, Edward. I trust her." Bella sounded so rooted in her trust in Alice, Alice was convicted. A stranger, a human no less, thought she was trustworthy longer than her supposed "brother" in the coven?

Unfortunately, her convicting thoughts got her distracted, and Edward could sense her again.

"Ah! She's right under—"

"BOOOGAH BOOOGAH!" Alice yelled, directly behind Bella. Bella squealed and ducked in the dirt and dust. Alice guffawed, half bemused by Bella, half bemused by Edward. He was looking irate and Alice had to rub it in. She reached for Bella's hand and gently stood her up, smiling.

"Y-You surprised me…" Bella stammered.

"Ah, Eddie! Smile a little. I just scared your girlfriend shitless while shouting about nose boogies." Alice grinned a little harder at Edward when he breathed in an angry breath; he didn't need it, that humorless prick. "We're going shopping, brother. I have to apologize properly somehow or another, isn't that right, Bella?" Bella shrugged and smiled lightly.

"Yeah. Something like that—"

"Great! So let's go. No more talk about boogers. Promise." Bella laughed. Just to piss him off, Alice questioned Edward, "Would you like to come along, brother? We're going to look for pantyhose and brassieres."

"Actually," Edward mused, "I'd love to attend. You know how much I adore brassieres, especially if Bella's involved." Alice's face almost fell into a primal growl. That damn bastard was at it again! Foiling plans! Despite her desire to rip all of Edward's hair out, she smiled brightly.

"Well c'mon Bella. I toldja I would drive, didn't I?" Bella smiled gleefully at Alice and bashfully at Edward.

As Alice walked to the driver's side, Edward cut his eyes at her. Alice grinned, loudly thinking that Edward was a dick sucking, motherfucker. Edward growled, his chest vibrating like an engine.

"Bella? Is your car running already?" Edward immediately ceased, gracing Bella with a smile. "Ah nope, nevermind. Even vampires hear random things sometimes." She started the car with minimal issue and started off to the mall.

As she ignored Bella and Edward's relentless flirting in the backseat, Alice wondered why Bella's human kindness would move her. It was stupid. And it kept her from her prey. Alice vowed to succeed. Forget human kindness, more human breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Onward to Plan 2.

A/N: Review it, or screw it. THAAAANKS 3