Disclaimer: I own nothing.
A/N: Hello and thank you for stopping by. Ok…so this is my first fic dealing with something like this. It is darker than what I usually write but I was listening to this song in the car the other day and this came to me. So I hope you like it. This is a one shot for now I am not sure about continuing I guess I will let the story decide for itself.
Well….I know you didn't come here to listen to me ramble on and on so without further wait I give you…
In life you have many roads some lead you to a brighter more meaningful world and others well….they tend to lead you to a very dark and hallow place. But…what no one ever talks about is that road in between heaven and hell. What if no matter what you do to try to save someone from going down that road that leads to hell they end up there any way? What if they are just too far gone for you to care anymore?
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Rachel had found herself on the steps of their old apartment broken, confused and now…alone. She took a deep breath wondering how it had come down to this. No matter how hard things got they always managed to find their way back but…this time she wasn't really sure if they could.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Flashback six months prior…..
Rachel walked into their small yet…cozy New York apartment. She tossed her bag and keys on the table exhausted and drained from the day all she wanted to do was kick her shoes off pour a glass of wine and relax but….judging by the ever growing pile of dishes that were now taking over the sink she knew that was not going to happen. She walked into the living room and rolled her eyes in disgust at the sight before her. There were dirty clothes strung along the couch and dirty dishes had managed to make their way on to the coffee table. She looked up at the clock on the wall it was eight in the evening and she knew that he was probably going to be home late like every other night. It used to not bother her that he worked late but…that was also when he would call and say he was working late. But…when the phone calls stopped that was it. She grabbed the clothes off the couch and decided to start a load of laundry. When she noticed something falls out of the pocket of his jeans. She reaches down and picks it up and her hands quickly fly to her mouth knowing all too well what was in that bag. He had sworn to her that he had quit. Well…that explains the late nights she thought as she tucked the bag into her pocket thinking that she would talk to him later about it knowing that it was really no use.
And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.
XXXX
After she had gotten the laundry done, the dishes, and even threw in some vacuuming it was now eleven at night and still no sign of Finn. She picked up the phone to call him to see if he was even planning to come home tonight. "Voicemail damn it." she tosses the phone on the counter and reaches for the bottle of wine. Not even caring about a glass or not she walked over to the couch and turned the TV on pushing out the thoughts that were swimming in her head.
Rachel was awoken to the sound of keys in the door. She looked at the clock it was now one am and he now was finally coming home. "Hey…I…uh…was going to call but my phone died." Finn stumbles over his words and into the apartment.
"And…there were no other phones around?" she spits at him as she gets up to dispose of the now empty wine bottle. Finn runs his hands through his hair knowing that no matter what he says at this point it is not going to end well.
"Sorry." he says placing his arms around her. She quickly removes his arms and spins around.
"You come home at one am reeking of booze and higher than a fucking kite and all you can say is sorry." Rachel can feel the anger rising up in her. As she clenches her fists trying very hard not to slap the ever loving shit out of him.
"Of course I work at a fucking bar not all of us are lucky to get a job at their daddy's firm." As soon as the words left his mouth he instantly regretted them. He takes a step closer.
"Don't fucking touch me." She spats taking two steps back. She couldn't believe what he had just said. "Well…someone has to take care of this family because lord knows you are doing a hell of a job on your own. I am so glad that Lea is staying with Beth tonight. Heaven forbid she walked in seeing her father like this." She knew that they were about to reach the point of no return years of pent up anger was finally coming to a head and that this was the end.
Finn just stood there in shock how dare she say that he does provide for them. "Well…at least she'd know that I am human and I am not living some fairy tale."
Rachel blinks back the tears that are threatening to fall she takes a deep breath. "Fairy tale? Yeah….ok…I bust my ass at my job come home to a house that is a fucking wreck because my husband is to lazy to get off his ass and wash a fucking dish every now and then." She picks up a plate off the counter and throws it at him. Finn moves out of the way to avoid getting hit in the head with the plate. He watches as the plate shatters into a million pieces.
"I'm going to go." Finn says keeping his anger at bay as he walks over to the door.
"You might want to take these." She says throwing the bag of pills at him. "They seem to be the only thing you fucking care about." she spats at him.
Finn picks up the bag off the floor. So…this is why she is pissed at me. He thinks. "Rachel…" He starts to say but he knows that there is nothing left to say. They have finally reached the point where words have no meaning. The damage could not be undone. "I'll just get my things while you're at work." he says as Rachel watches him walk out the door for the last time. When the door she grabs a dust pan and broom and begins to pick up the scattered pieces of glass. Like her marriage it too was broken beyond repair.
And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love
just starting to crawl.
XXXX
Rachel wiped the tears that had fallen from her face and fixes her dress as she knocks on the door knowing that this is one of the hardest things that she has ever had to do.
"Rachel?" Finn asks blinking his eyes not sure if this was a dream of not.
"Uh…can I come in?" she asks hesitantly Finn gives her a nod and as soon as she is hit with the memories of that night. They hit her like a brick wall.
"Here let me help you with that." Finn offers as he helps her with her jacket. Rachel takes in a sharp breath as she feels his hand connect with the small sliver a skin that is exposed.
"Thanks." she says quickly pulling away not wanting to get lost in his touch.
"So…you want something to drink?" He offers as he places her jacket on the back of the couch.
"Sure." She says as she takes in the appearance of the apartment. It really hadn't changed much except it was a lot cleaner than it had been in the past.
"I've got wine, soda, tea, or beer." he tells her as he opens the fridge.
"Wine I guess." She tells him as she takes a seat at the bar. He hands her the glass of wine and takes a seat in front of her. "Thanks." She says taking the glass and taking a sip of it.
"So…how are things?" He asked not really sure of what to say.
"Good…I just got a promotion." She lies well…not about the promotion part. If she had to be honest she was miserable without him.
"A promotion that is great so what are you going to be doing now?" he asked taking a swig of his beer.
"You are looking at the newest junior partner at Berry, Berry and Hudson law firm." She could see the smile form on his lips when she said his last name.
"Awesome I am happy for you." He tells her not sure what else to say.
"So…um…how have you been." She asked looking into his eyes.
"Good…I quit the bar and went back to school and also I have been clean and sober for five months now." He tells her.
"Finn…I am so proud of you. So…what are you majoring in?" she asked she truly was proud of him but…she couldn't help but wonder why he didn't get help when they were together.
"Thanks…I am working on my degree in human services I am thinking that I might be an addiction counselor. I was thinking that since you know I was once an addict that maybe it could like help them." Finn finds himself stumbling over his words. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or his nerves getting the best of him. "So…what's in the envelope?" he asked noticing the brown envelope sitting on the table.
"What?" And…there is was the million dollar question of the night. Rachel shakes her head and slides it over to him. "Open it." she says almost regretting it but…she knew it was the right thing to do. Finn gives her a nod and pulls out the papers in the envelope and his heart sinks to the floor.
"Are these…." Finn says as he can feel his entire world crash around him. Rachel gives him a small nod not looking him in the eye. Finn takes a deep breath he couldn't believe it never did he think that it would come to this. "Is this really what you want?" He says his voice is thick with emotion.
"Finn…it's the only option we have." She says playing with the ring on her finger. Finn is silent as he begins to process what is happening. Granted that they hadn't really talked much since the night he left and he knew it was over but…for some reason he held out hope that maybe just maybe they could give it another shot. But he knew now that there was no hope it was over and there was no more second chances.
"You got a pen?" he asked knowing that once she had made up her mind there was no changing it.
"Uh…yea." She says looking in her purse while letting a few tears escape. She quickly blinks away any other tears that threatened to fall. "Here." She shakily hands him the pen as her voice cracks. This wasn't what she wanted but there was no turning back now.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere, I would have followed you.
"Thanks." He says his hand brushing hers. He can barley see where he is to sign his vision is blurred by the tears that are now falling. He holds the pen over the line where he is to sign knowing that if he signs on that line that it's over. He wasn't sure if he was ready to let it all go. They had been through so much to just throw it all away. "There you go." He says sliding the papers back to her.
"Thank you." She nods as she takes the papers she looks up at him as she reads the words "I love you" written where his signature is to be. She stares at the words not knowing what to say. She knows in her heart that this is all a huge mistake but her mind can't just let go of what had happened. "Do you mean it?" she asked staring into his whiskey colored eyes.
"I never stopped." He says his voice cracking as he moves closer towards her.
"Finn…." was all that she could say as she felt his lips crash into hers. Everything that they had been afraid to say was said in that one kiss. "I…I have to go." Rachel says breaking the kiss. Finn's face falters as he realizes that it's really over. Finn pulls the papers out of her bag and signs his name on the line. Knowing that nothing he says or does is going to change her mind. If this was what she wanted then he would give it to her. He places the papers back in her bag and kisses her cheek. "Goodbye Finn." Rachel nods as she walks out the door. Leaving a broken hearted Finn on the other side. She stands there for a minute and looks at the papers her fingers trace the indentions of where he signed his name. She wipes away the tears from her eyes and places the papers back in her bag as she takes one last look at the place that had meant so much to her.
XXXX
"Goodbye Rachel." He says as he collapses against the door knowing that this was the end.
Ok….so there it is I hope you enjoyed it.
Reviews are not only welcomed but greatly appreciated.
