This story hits quite hard to home for me. I had a story and I needed to tell it. It's not exactly the same as what's been happening to me, but it's close.

This is just the starter chapter. It'll be separate chapters for each break in text, so expect a lot of story. I'll also have a lot of interest in writing it because it's a subject I hold very close to my heart.

Thanks.

(PS. The bolded writing is future.)


"I'll see you soon…"

And you will, in a month or so, when her relationship hits a snag, or she realises she isn't happy.

And that's all it's been. All words, big words nonetheless, but words that aren't followed by actions.

You sigh as you hear the front door of your once shared apartment slam, and lay back down in your bed, staring at the ceiling. The suns a little stronger now, streaking through the gaps in your curtains. It'll be a nice day today - you can only hope, as you drift back off to sleep.


(8 Months Ago)

"She said that?" Your friend Tina nods, tilting the phone towards you so you can take a peek.

'Britt added me on Facebook! :D'

A smile immediately graces your face, your jaw starts to hurt a little and Tina looks at you like you're mental. The smile goes, but what your feeling inside isn't going anywhere.

"Right! Cocktails?" You nod as she leads you to the bar.


'Boo'

A message from an unknown number. You raise your eyebrow a little as your phone beeps a second time, only this time, this unknown number sent you an image.

'How's this look?'

There it is, Santana, the girl you couldn't bare to leave an hour ago, wearing your red beanie. Your favourite beanie, that you must've left with her by accident. A little tingle inside your stomach and then you've got that silly smile on your face for the rest of the night.


'Are you still coming out tonight?'

Santana's number, saved to your phone this time. You said you would, but you're having second thoughts. Santana's boyfriend, Puck, will be there tonight. Puck, the nicest guy on earth. Puck, who hasn't done anything wrong, but you choose to hate because, really, Santana should be with you, right?

You text her back with a simple 'yes' and start getting ready for the night.


'You make me happy, you know?'

You've been meeting up with Santana for over a month now, pretty much everyday. Maybe things are working out better than you thought they would. You're falling, and you're falling fast.


'I was infatuated. I just wanted to know you.'

You pause a little bit before your hands brush your keyboard, typing a simple reply of 'Really?'.

Because you don't believe it, you don't believe that you could infatuate someone. You're just Brittany, you're not much. Especially, as it's Santana Lopez saying these words to you. Santana Lopez, the girl everyone knows, the most beautiful girl you know.

The one you've always wanted.


'I love you.'

She's obviously drunk when she sends you it, but it doesn't make it any less amazing. She's thinking about you, she's thinking about being with you. She's telling you she loves you. It might be a platonic love, it could be nothing. But this time you don't brush it off, you can't, you wont.


'What do you think? Do you think it'll be ok?'

You really hope so, because this is such a huge step for both of you, living together. Especially when you haven't really spoken about your relationship. If you can even call it that. You don't talk about feelings, not anymore. Your relationship is way to complicated to explain. People don't understand it, and you don't think they ever will.

'I think we'll be ok.'


Living together is everything you wanted it to be.

'I didn't want to leave you this morning.'

'Warmth, Rain on the windows, You. It was perfect. Work is stupid.'

It's been like this for some time. You've been each other's shadows pretty much. You wont complain, because that's not something you do. You just wallow in the happiness you're experiencing right now.

She is your home.


'I want to be with you. Why can't you see that?'

'I'm not a mind reader Britt, I can't read thoughts.'

These fights happen. When she brings home boys from nights out, and you have to resort to sleeping in your own bed. Something you haven't done in a very long time.

These fights happen, and then are forgotten. Everything that was said, its buried. Never bought up again.


'I can't explain it.'

'Try?'

'When I woke up and Tina was between us, I was jealous. I see you in pictures with Quinn and I'm jealous.'

Your insides jump. You're not sure what this means, but it feels like you might be getting somewhere.

You can honestly say, this is the happiest you've ever been.


'I miss you.'

Christmas has been a massive test for both of you. You're away from each other for the holidays, you see family, as does she.

'I love you.'

These messages are coming more frequently now, and now they're not just when she's drunk.

'I think I love you more than a friend should. But that's ok. I like it.'

Your heart skips a beat.

'Me too.'


'Just meeting up with Rachel.'

'Ok.'

You've been left at home on your own. She said she'd be back that night.

'Are you mad?'

'I'm not mad, just a little disappointed.'

'You're mad.'

You leave it with that, you don't message her back. She can come up with her own conclusions. Of course you're mad. But you don't say a thing. You wouldn't get a reply even if you did speak up. She doesn't speak about things like that. Never does. She gets defensive and standoffish. You can't deal with that today.


'You're my new year kiss. Putting my foot down. Happy New Year.'

She's over the other side of the full room you're in. She looks up, a small smirk on her face as her gaze gets hotter. And she is your New Years kiss, in front of everyone. No questioning looks, everyone expects it, apparently.

You pull apart and you hear a small 'I love you.' Her eyes gleaming in front of you.


'Why do you always run away?'

It's been literally an hour since the party finished, and everything has shifted.

'It's what I do.'

And that was all she said, running down the stairs and out on to the street.


'So I'm a bit worried now.'

It's been 3 hours since you sent that text, and still no reply. She didn't come home last night. Of course you've got a right to be worried.

'Oh shit, I'm sorry Britt, my phone died.'

That's it, she's alive, at least your mind is at rest, but there's not a single explanation. You still don't know where she is.

'Where were you last night?'

'At Mike's, pizza and movies. Passed out really early. Sorry.'

Mike. You didn't think you'd ever hear that name again. That name that haunted you for a while. That name that rolled off Santana's tongue that time. That heart to heart you two had about him breaking her heart all those years ago. The same Mike who completely ruined her life.

Where the hell had he come from?


It's a bit simple. but like I said, it'll be explored in depth over the next chapters.

Hope you like how it's starting.

Jem x