a/n: Many years ago, I published—and abandoned—a novelization project of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon (the first one). I deleted it in the end because I though I did a bad job; this time, I hope to see it through from start to finish. It's based loosely off of the game, same beats, but I'm aim to take more than a couple liberties with the source material.
Don't worry, it won't get edgy or anything! We're keeping it PG. Mild language and violence.
PROLOGUE: A QUICK SURVEY
I can't see anything. I can't even feel my body. The air space around me isn't hot or cold, just there. It's a weird sensation to describe, like existing without tangible perception of my surroundings, if that makes any sense.
And as far as I can tell, I'm alone. All I can hear is the sound of my own breathing.
I don't know how I got here. My gut tells me I should be worried, but I'm not, for some unidentifiable reason.
After a few minutes, though, I figure something's got to give.
And give it does. I'm not alone for long.
Welcome!
The voice booms out at me from seemingly everywhere at once. I'm not sure where it's coming from, and even though I can't see, I can feel the weight of the sound. It's not aggressive, just enthusiastic.
This is the portal that leads to the world of Pokémon. But before I can let you through, I have several questions for you. I want you to answer them sincerely. Are you ready?
"Uh…" To my own ears, I sound kind of pitiful after that auditory overload. The voice doesn't seem to mind.
Okay…let the interview begin!
It takes me a moment to process what's happening, but then I realize—the darkness has fallen away and I'm surrounded by a weird, glowing haze that shifts slowly from red to orange to yellow, cycling through the entire color spectrum on a loop. I look down at where I imagine my body should be, but I still can't see anything.
"Wh-why can't I see myself?"
Don't worry, you're perfectly unharmed. But until we figure out where you fit in, you're just going to have to settle for what we've given you.
"Wait, hold on. Who are you?"
I'm like the gatekeeper. But I can't give you a body until you answer my quiz.
"What? That's ridiculous. Who decides this stuff?"
I'm afraid I don't know, actually. But you agreed to this, so you have to go through with it.
"Bullshit! Give me my body back!"
Language! the voice admonishes. If you aren't going to be civil, I can just as easily leave you here without a body and find another candidate.
I can feel the fight leave me. "Wait, you can DO that? I'll just be stuck l-like—like a ghost forever?"
…if that's how you want to interpret it, then sure. You might as well just go along with this.
"Urgh. All right, fine!"
Great! Question 1: Do you hate to be the last person to leave class at the end of the day?
"Uh…not really, no."
You sound a little unsure.
"Huh? I dunno—that's kind of a random question to ask."
If you say so. Question 2: Your friend fails to show up for a meeting at the promised time. What do you do?
"Well, that would be annoying. I guess I'd be irritated."
Very well. Question 3: Do you get the feeling you've slowed down lately?
"No. Hey, how is this quiz supposed to get my body back, anyways?"
All in good time. Question 4: Do you like to fight?
"I can defend myself, if that's what you mean. But only if I have to, so…not really."
You're about halfway there. Question 5: When the going gets tough, do you get going?
"Yeah."
Question 6: Are there many things you would like to do?
"I guess so."
Question 7: Can you go into a haunted house?
"Yeah!" Gaining confidence.
Question 8: Do you feel lonesome when you are alone?
This time I hesitate.
Remember, you can be honest.
But I'm not sure I want to give the voice too much information. The voice sighs.
All right, let's try another. A delinquent is hassling a girl on a busy street! What will you do?
"Help the girl. I'd probably be scared, but I would try, anyway."
One very last question: Are you a boy or a girl?
"What does that have to do with anything?"
I'm the one asking the questions. Are you a boy or a girl?
The voice sounds kind of annoyed, like it's Christmastime in a crowded mall and I'm the first wily kid to question Santa's credibility.
"Um. A boy."
Very well! You appear to be…the brave type.
"What?"
Voice continues on as though I never said anything.
You have a strong sense of justice. You hate evil. You will take on any opponent. You are truly a hero! Go forth! For justice… For peace on Earth… Fight the forces of evil!
I snort. "Okay, I think you're reaching a bit."
…If I'm wrong…
Work at becoming a true hero!
"Did you just patronize me?"
Again, there's no acknowledgement.
A brave person like you should be…a Machop!
Well, I guess it could be worse. Machop is pretty cool.
Okay! You're all set! We're ready to get you into the world of Pokémon! Go forth!
The light's growing brighter. I shut my eyes against it and suddenly everything goes dark—
