A/N: Hey guys! Watched Megamind last night and just remembered what a truly AWESOME AND AMAZING FILM IT IS :D I hope you liked this fic, I stayed up 'till 6 in the morning to write it. I don't think it's one of my best, but what the hell, I just really wanted to!
Also look out for Megamind's trademark spelling mistakes :3
Doctor Who is copyrighted to the BBC, Megamind to Dreamworks. I own neither.
Megamind was getting sick of the wallpaper. You could only stare at pictures of birds and bunny rabbits for so long before going mad, although, he reasoned, most of the people in the Metro City Prison were already mad.
He hummed, spinning around in his chair to face the door, and was mildly surprised to see the warden standing outside, facing away from him.
"Well, good evening," he said loudly, and the warden turned and glanced through the window.
"I haven't come to see you," the warden said, wondering if he should install sound-proof glass into Megamind's cell. The blue-headed villain's taunts and banter were becoming more annoying every time he visited this part of the prison.
"Do I have a neighbour?" Megamind grinned, spotting two guards dragging an unconscious orange-suited body towards them.
"Ye-es," the warden said slowly, narrowing his eyes. The last time they'd put someone in cell block six with Megamind, the two cell-mates had managed to form an alliance, escape and nearly wreck the city within 24 hours. "But don't get any ideas. You're both going to be kept under surveillance."
Megamind was about to point out that they were always under surveillance, and that certainly didn't stop them last time, but he decided not to.
"So, who is it?" he asked instead, leaping out of his chair and over to the door in his usual manic way.
"Harold Saxon," said the warden, as if that explained everything.
"I'm sorry," Megamind said, "I haven't the faintest idea who you're talking about."
"The ex-British Prime Minister," said the warden in a superior tone, "Don't you watch the news?"
"No, I find it dull and boring, unless it's about me," said Megamind offhandedly, "So he's from Brytan! We can have tea. Tell me more."
"He went insane and murdered the American President -"
"What a shame."
"- but luckily the British army managed to subdue him before he could do any more harm. They've decided Metro City Prison is the best place for him, so Metroman can keep him in check if he does escape."
"Didn't it occur to you that locking up all the world's villains in one place isn't a very good idea?" Megamind asked, incredulous.
Before the warden could reply, there was an loud, unearthly scream from the corridor and they both jumped in shock.
"What the hell is wrong with him?!" the warden shouted, dashing over to the two guards, who were struggling to support the writhing body between them.
"I don't know, sir!" one of the guards said, "He just woke up and started screaming!"
"You used tasers on him, didn't you?" Megamind scoffed. He hated those things. "You and your tasers! He's an alien, you imbeciles! Let me take a look."
"How do you know he's an alien?" the warden asked as the guards tried in vain to subdue their prisoner, "Is this another one of your elaborate escape plans?"
"Of course not!" said Megamind, pretending to look wounded, "I am simply concerned as to the well-being of my future cell-mate - assuming he survives to be my future cell-mate, which is sounding unlickely."
Megamind was right. Saxon was still screaming, and the warden knew the government wanted him alive for scientific reasons. He also knew Saxon was an alien, and the real reason he'd been sent to Metro City was that it was the only place in the world where the Prison would be equipped to deal with them.
The last thing he wanted to do was let Megamind out, but on the other hand, he might somehow know how to stop whatever was happening to the other alien.
"You think it's the tasers?" he asked.
"Oh, yes. Got to be." Megamind nodded gravely, "Us aliens are extremely susceptible to those nasty little shocks. It's a miracle you haven't killed me with them yet."
"Alright, alright," said the warden, reluctantly pressing a switch on the wall, "I'm letting you out, but one wrong move and..." he trailed off threateningly as the door hissed open.
"And what?" Megamind laughed as he stepped out of his cell, "I'm already in prison! What more could you do?"
Suddenly the screaming stopped, and Saxon fell limply to the floor as one of the guards withdrew his taser.
"Weren't you paying attention, you silly primate?" Megamind said, poking the guard in question squarely in the chest, "I will make this perfectly clear. Do not use electric shocks on alien prisoners."
"You didn't answer my question," the warden interrupted, "How did you know he's an alien?"
"Oh, I have a vastly intricate and highly advanced intergalactic psychic moudule field," Megamind said, thoroughly enjoying the looks of confusion on the three men's faces as he knelt down to examine Saxon, who was slowly regaining consciousness.
"Ollo," he said, looking the newcomer up and down. He had plain brownish hair and eyes, and didn't look like evil genius material to Megamind, who was expecting something a bit more impressive.
"You will obey me," Saxon mumbled weakly, and Megamind laughed. "Oh, hypnotism! Very good, very very good. You'd better watch this one, warden, he could turn the whole prison against you with one word."
The warden nodded at the two guards, who immediately trained their weapons on Saxon.
"How are you feeling?" Megamind said, half-faking concern, "I did tell these people not to zap you, but apparently even so simple an instruction as that will not penetrate their small minds."
Saxon attempted to sit up, but quickly decided it was a bad idea and returned to the floor. Megamind tutted and looked up at the warden. "Honestly, call yourself a warden? You can't even look after the prisoners properly. He's clearly fatagued."
"Fatigued." the warden corrected automatically, but Megamind ignored him, dragging Saxon over the threshold of his own cell and propping him up in his spinning chair.
"Is he always like this?" Saxon asked as the warden and guards followed Megamind into his cell.
"No," the warden said, watching Megamind peer closely at Saxon's ears and fingers, "I just don't think he's seen another alien for a while."
"You're disappointingly human," Megamind commented, and Saxon rolled his eyes.
"Humans are disappointingly Time Lord." he replied with the air of someone who had had this conversation before.
"Time Lord? Interesting," Megamind said.
Saxon seemed to be fully awake now, and he looked around the cell with a raised eyebrow. "Where am I?"
"Metrocity prison, in my cell," Megamind informed him, "Which is in dire need of redecoration." He nudged the warden, who huffed and mumbled something about paint costs and how the bunnies were quite nice, actually.
"I see," Saxon said, "Mind if I take a look at your head?"
"Be my guest," said Megamind, leaning over so the other alien could observe the bulbous blue dome that was Megamind's head.
"You're just as bad as him," the warden commented, wondering why he had to live in a city full of aliens.
"It's not every day I get to meet a Covolite," Saxon protested, standing up peering curiously at Megamind's head, "I thought you were all destroyed by that black hole..."
"Yes, but not me, as you can see," Megamind said, "There's also another surviving member of that catistrophe, who I like to call Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes."
"Sounds familiar," Saxon said, "And what do I call you?"
"You may call me Megamind," said Megamind, "Incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy."
"Oh, I think you'll find I'm the Master around here," said Saxon with a grin.
The warden decided this was a good time to step in, before the two villains became too... villainous.
"Come on, Saxon," he said, "I'm not keeping you two in the same cell."
"What a shame," Megamind said, "We could have done great things together."
"Don't worry, there will be plenty of time for that after I escape," said Saxon, speaking matter-of-factly as the guards handcuffed him and began to propel him towards the door.
"I don't think so," said the warden, but Megamind laughed.
"I am somewhat of an expert at escaping from here," he said, "I'll show you my evil lair at some point!"
"Naturally," Saxon grinned, "And I have a whole army just waiting to be activated. This planet won't know what hit it."
"Come on, come on," the warden said, pulling Saxon out of Megamind's cell and sealing the door.
Megamind sat back in his chair and smiled evilly. A new ally.
