Truths and Deceptions
Rated: K+
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be.
Summary: 22-year-old Estel decides to secretly take a look into Galadriel's mirror. Of course, this could mean only trouble…
Note: Written for Teitho challenge: "A Glimpse of the Future"
For the mirror shows many things. Things that were, things that are and some things that have not yet come to pass.
-Galadriel, FotR movie
Cold. Encroaching, endless, terrifying cold. This was everything he could feel. Estel tried to move his fingers to restore the blood flow, but to his horror they were frozen still. He exhaled slowly, his breath immediately turning into vapor in the air.
Great. Just great. Now you are going to freeze to death. But did you really expect anything else? To cross the Misty Mountains in the middle of winter, and all alone! He silently chastised himself. Why did you have to look into that mirror? You knew that it was forbidden. Well done, Estel, well done. Such a brilliant idea. You should be very proud. He smiled grimly and shook his head.
The young ranger sighed. Talking to himself – that was not good, not good at all. He tried to suppress a cough. No, he couldn't afford catching a cold right now. He did his best to ignore how much his throat hurt and took a slow step forward, almost falling into the deep snow.
For a moment he wondered if his brothers and Legolas had survived the attack. But they weren't in the cave, so maybe they weren't attacked at all. The uncertainly was worse than the most horrible truth, and worry was tearing his heart apart.
The cold was horrifying, true, but even worse was the feeling of déjà vu. Yes, he had been here before, he remembered it clearly. That was exactly what he had seen in the mirror. And he had decided to come here anyway. Why did he believe the other vision and not this one? Why did he look into the mirror at all before he was ready?
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted as his body shook in a fierce coughing fit. Estel winced. Just like in the vision.
And he remembered painfully well how the vision ended. No, this couldn't come true. It wouldn't. The wolves hadn't appeared by now, probably they wouldn't come at all…
Estel shut his eyes and sighed in frustration as he heard a howling sound coming from behind. Perfect. Will you never learn not to ask for trouble?
He realized that he was talking to himself once again, but it didn't really matter. Now he knew for sure that his vision would come true. And he certainly didn't like the way the vision ended.
Estel fell to his knees in surrender. The wolves were coming and he wasn't fit to fight them. And there was no sense in fighting - he had already foreseen what the outcome would be.
How had he come here? What was he doing in these mountains? Oh, he remembered. He remembered very well.
-o-o-o-o-o-
To say that Estel was disappointed would have been a great understatement. Why wasn't she here? She was supposed to be here. When was he going to see her again? In ten years? Fifty years? Never?
He had seen Arwen for the first time two years ago. This time seemed as a beautiful dream to him, and it was sometimes hard to believe that it had really happened.
But it had. He still remembered how hard it had been for his family to accept it, but they had eventually come in terms with it. He had left to join the rangers shortly after and hadn't come back since then.
He hadn't seen his family for two years.
And now his wanderings had brought him close Lothlórien, and he thought that if he visited the elven realm, he would see her again. Just catch a glimpse of her in the distance, a glimpse he would keep in his heart forever. He wished for nothing more.
But she wasn't here. He sighed and silently cursed his luck. Well, he couldn't complain after all, Lothlórien was beautiful in winter, and this was a wonderful break. Galadriel had welcomed him as a guest. Fortunately, she had no idea what the real reason for his visit was.
Or at least he hoped so.
Estel found it hard to enjoy the beauty of Lothlórien. The idea to come and visit came to him for the first time about a week ago, and since then he had been counting the seconds to his arrival. And now everything was shattered.
He gazed dreamily at the snow-covered trees. Would he ever see her again? Well, there was no way of knowing. Surely, Galadriel could tell him, she just needed to look into that mysterious mirror of hers, but he would never ask her to do this. He was sure his foster grandmother didn't know anything about his love towards her granddaughter, and he was grateful for that.
Estel shuddered involuntary. That mirror scared him. He didn't know why, but every time he thought about it, he got a very bad feeling.
The mirror… it was the only way to know if he would ever see her again. If… if they… oh, how dared he even think about that… if they would ever be together. The ranger violently shook his head to chase the thought away. This was absurd. Galadriel would never let him look into the mirror. Very few elves and even fewer mortals were ever allowed that privilege. She would think that he was not ready for that. Besides, he could never tell her the reason why he wanted to look.
On the other hand… a mischievous grin suddenly appeared on the young man's face… who said that he needed to ask her? Surely he could do it by himself. When Elrond had revealed him his true heritage, he had told Aragorn that he had inherited the gift of foresight of his forefathers. And he was not at all surprised – he sometimes had visions in his dreams, visions that often came true. Of course he would master the mirror. No, a mere mirror would never best him.
Estel smiled confidently and rose to his feet. Now he just needed to wait for the right time to get to the mirror unnoticed.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Everyone seemed to be asleep. Estel took a wary look around and sneaked through the garden surprisingly quietly for a human.
Suddenly he froze in his tracks and stared at the silver basin. That mirror had always captured his imagination and scared him at the same time. Long ago he had seen Galadriel look into it, when he first visited Lothlórien with Elrond, but he had been too young to comprehend what was really happening. But now he knew what he was doing. And he was ready for it.
Estel filled the ewer with water and walked towards the silver basin. But then he stopped and hesitantly looked around. Was he doing the right thing? The mirror was meant for more serious matters, not for his childish whims.
The young man pushed these thoughts away and took a determined step forward. His future was no whim! He had the right to see what would happen to him.
Estel slowly poured the water into the basin. He didn't have any good idea what to do next, but he thought that he would improvise the best he could. He put down the ewer and firmly grabbed the basin edges.
Estel looked into the mirror. At first he saw only his own reflection, but the water surface suddenly cleared and showed him another vision. He gasped and stared in shock.
A snowstorm. Fierce, merciless snowstorm. A man was walking along the mountain path, his steps faltering. He was snuggled in a dark cloak and seemed to be freezing. Estel stared at the man in sudden suspicion, but when the wind blew away the hood of the cloak, his cloak, only to reveal wavy dark hair, all doubt was gone. He was looking at himself.
What was he doing there? Was this going to happen? When? Estel looked more closely and soon he could see his face. He didn't look older than he was now. He gasped as the wind lifted the dark cloak once again, causing the ranger in the vision to shiver uncontrollably. For a moment he could catch a glimpse of the man's clothes. They were the same clothes he was wearing right now.
The ranger in the vision suddenly stared at his hand in horror. It seemed his fingers were frozen and he couldn't move them. He took a few more steps and started coughing violently. Estel watched transfixed. Was this the real future?
But what he saw was nothing compared to what followed. The man in the mirror suddenly stopped and shut his eyes. Then he sighed and fell on his knees. And then it happened.
A pack of wolves came out of the forest and were upon the young ranger in seconds. One of them knocked him down and pinned him to the ground. He tried to turn over and pull out his sword, but his frozen limbs refused to obey him. So he just lay down helpless and shaking, staring wide-eyed at the gray body above him.
The bloodthirsty eyes made his heart freeze. He desperately tried to stand up, but the wolf pushed him back down. His head collided with a sharp rock and his body went limp on the cold ground.
The beast opened its horrendous mouth, revealing sharp white teeth. They easily pierced the soft skin on the man's unprotected neck and went deeper and deeper. A crimson pond soon appeared on the white snow.
Estel shouted in shock and jumped away from the mirror. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.
He had just witnessed his own death.
No, this vision couldn't be true! He would never let himself wander all alone in the mountains in the middle of a snowstorm. He wasn't that stupid. Especially now when he had seen it. He could do everything possible to prevent this.
Estel took a deep breath and somewhat managed to calm himself. It was just a vision, nothing more. He had heard that the mirror could often show things that would never happen. Surely this was one of them.
When his pulse and breathing rate were back to normal, Estel remembered why he had come. He gathered all his courage and walked back to the mirror, firmly grabbing the basin edges once again. Last time he had left the mirror lead the way. He had left it decide what vision to show him. No, he wasn't going to repeat that mistake. Show me Arwen, he wished with all his will.
The water cleared again and soon a new vision appeared. Estel gasped and stared enchanted in the water. The most beautiful face, surrounded by a halo of dark silk, and gray eyes, deep as the see, but warm as the stars. His Arwen. So he had succeeded. He had bested the mirror after all.
Arwen turned back, gazing sadly at something behind her, but then looked forward and took another step. Towards the ship. Estel's heart stopped as he realized what she was doing. She was sailing for Valinor.
He was somewhat relieved that she would make this choice and he wouldn't separate her from her family, but at the same time this vision made him incredibly sad. Oh, how he wished her to stay!
The mirror cleared once again and different visions started flashing randomly through it. Estel blinked and stared. Some of them were clearly true, and some of them were certainly false. Maybe his vision about Arwen wasn't true as well? Estel decided that it would be best to stay and watch the visions for some more time. Maybe eventually he would learn to distinguish between the true and the false ones.
He saw Elrohir giving him his first archery lesson. Estel smiled at the images. The boy wasn't the best student. He was trying hard, but the bow his elven brother had picked was too big for the child. Well, Elrohir soon regretted his choice as his unprotected leg had a first-hand experience of young Estel's shooting abilities.
Then another image appeared and the young man was looking at himself once again. He looked older here. Well, if this vision was real, the one with the wolves obviously wasn't. He saw four small shapes walking behind him. Children? He seemed to be leading them somewhere through the wilderness. But why would he ever be assigned to baby-sit four children? Maybe this vision was also false after all.
The mirror cleared once again and this time he was looking at Legolas. Estel smiled warmly when he saw that his friend was laughing at something. Maybe at some joke told by the twins or himself. But then the elf suddenly looked down a grinned at… a dwarf?! Estel choked with laughter and shock. This definitely wasn't real. He couldn't wait to see Legolas and tell him about this.
Most of the visions actually didn't seem to be true. Maybe the one with Arwen was also false. Estel was just about to empty the basin and leave, when another vision attracted his attention. Elladan, Elrohir, and Legolas were riding through a forest, talking to each other. Elladan chuckled at something Legolas had said, and Elrohir just rolled his eyes. Estel smiled affectionately and gazed at them. He hadn't seen them in two years. Oh, how he missed them!
It was snowing, but his brothers and friend naturally didn't feel the cold. Estel looked at the scene more closely. He had seen many visions in this mirror, some from the past, some from the future, and some never to come true. But right now all his instincts were telling him that this was taking place at the current moment.
Estel took a closer look, hoping to see where they were. His eyes rested on some peaks at the background, and he gasped in surprise. These were the Misty Mountains, but far away from Rivendell. They were far to the south and the ranger realized that they had ridden almost a month to get there. In fact they were just a few days away from Lothlórien.
Could they be coming here? The young man's heart jumped in happiness. He longed to see them once again.
Joy suddenly turned to worry as he noticed dark shaped appearing behind the riders. How could the elves not hear them? He wanted to shout a warning, even though it would never reach them. Suddenly one of the dark shapes lifted his bow and fired. An arrow flew and hit Legolas in the back. There was a shocked and pained expression on the elf's face as he fell from the horse and the vision suddenly disappeared.
"No!" Estel heard his own yell and his grip on the basin tightened. "Where are they?! Where are they taking them! Show me!"
The mirror cleared once again and revealed a darkened cave. Three elves lay on the ground. Estel's heart froze in horror when he saw that they weren't moving.
He knew that cave. It was indeed in the Misty Mountains, not very far from here.
Completely forgetting his first vision, Estel rushed to get his cloak. He would leave Lothlórien before sunrise.
A slender figure walked out of the shadows and gazed after him.
Silly child, Galadriel shook her head. He doesn't know how often the mirror can lie to us. And yet, sometimes it tells the truth. I feel that he will learn this the hard way.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Estel winced at the memory. He had gone to the cave, and it was empty. Maybe his vision had been false. He had set back, determined to tell Galadriel and ask her to find out what had really happened to Legolas and his brothers, but had been caught in a snowstorm. The ranger sighed in self-condemnation. Would he never learn? Of course this would lead him into trouble. Everything he did led him into trouble…
But this time he didn't really see a way out.
He was pushed down and pinned to the ground by a heavy body. The sharp nails tore at his flesh. Estel tried to turn around and grasp his sword, but he couldn't control his frozen fingers.
The wolf opened its mouth, revealing sharp white teeth, just like in the vision. Estel's heart beat so wildly that he was sure it would soon fly out of his chest. He tried to rise, but the beast pushed him back down. As he fell, his head suddenly collided with a rock.
The last thing he saw was the terrible mouth and the white teeth going for his neck. Then all was darkness.
-o-o-o-o-o-
His limbs were on fire. Painful fire, burning mercilessly in his fingers and toes. His heart beat in panic. He was burning!
Estel forced his eyes to open and moaned softly as the bright light sent him waves of headache. There was a face above him, but it was still blurry.
"Easy, penneth (young one). You almost froze to death. It was hard to warm your limbs and the restoration of blood circulation will be painful," Galadriel's voice sounded in his ears loud as a drum.
Yes, thank you for telling me. I would have never guessed by myself. Memory suddenly came back to him. The wolves… Estel raised his burning hand and tentatively touched his neck, fully expecting to find bleeding wounds. There were none.
"Do not worry," Galadriel spoke again. "Haldir found you just on time. Shh, lay still," she added as he tried to rise, but was suddenly stopped by a violent coughing fit. "You have a cold, hopefully nothing worse. But you have a fever, so you need to rest."
"You sent Haldir after me?" Estel asked softly, totally ignoring the information about his illness. "Why?"
"You think there was no need?" she asked somewhat amused.
"No, I was just wondering…" the young man suddenly paled as he remembered something else. "Legolas and my brothers! They…"
"Are perfectly fine." Galadriel offered helpfully.
"Are you sure?" Estel eyed her with suspicion. He would never let the matter go unless he knew for certain that his brothers and friend were alright.
"The mirror doesn't always show the truth, penneth. It sometimes shows things that could happen, and some that never will. Your brothers and the young prince are indeed coming here, and this is why you saw them. In fact they will be here by tomorrow. But they were never attacked." She smiled at the ranger who watched her wide-eyed and continued. "The mirror sometimes plays tricks on us, Estel. It can show us our greatest desires… or our greatest fears."
"You mean that the mirror was playing with me!" Estel stared in disbelief. "This game was cruel!"
"Well, I must admit that my mirror is not very fond of young, arrogant, overconfident mortals who look into it without my permission," she smiled at the young man, who had just acquired a curious shade of red. "I also made a mistake. I should have stopped you immediately, but I didn't know that your life was in real danger before I looked into the mirror. Then I sent Haldir right after you. But it is you, Estel, and I should have known that you'll get into trouble."
"Am I that predictable?" the ranger grinned.
"Actually yes, penneth. But don't worry, your brothers and Legolas are fine and they are coming soon. They don't know that you are here, and I'm sure they'll be happy to see you. Although I don't think they'll be very happy when they find out that you nearly got yourself killed."
Gray eyes widened in shock, "You are not going to tell them!"
"I'll think about it," Galadriel smiled. "But tell me something, Estel. Why did you look into the mirror?"
Estel suddenly turned an even darker shade of red. "Well, I wanted to look into my future…" he murmured almost indistinctively, giving her his most brilliant and innocent smile.
"What exactly did you want to see?" she asked and carefully observed her foster grandson with an amused smile. Galadriel was sure that a human was unable to become brighter red than this, but she was once again proven wrong.
"Umm, nothing specific really. I just…"
"You just wanted to see her," she smiled.
Huge eyes turned towards her. She knew?! "Who told you?" Estel managed to mutter.
"I don't need to be told to know, penneth," Galadriel smiled mysteriously. "Just tell me this – do you still want to see her?"
The young ranger stared in disbelief. There was no accusation, no contempt. Or maybe this was just a test. He was afraid to say yes, but finally he couldn't help himself. "May I?" he asked eagerly and Galadriel smiled warmly at him.
"Come, Estel," she helped him get up. Estel walked slowly, trying to get his frozen feet back to work. Finally, they reached the mirror.
Galadriel took a ewer and poured water into the silver basin. "Look!" she commanded softly.
Estel eyed the mirror hesitantly, "What am I going to see?"
"I don't know, young one," she admitted. "But there is only one way to find out." She motioned to him to come forward.
Estel looked into the mirror. At first he saw only his own reflection, his face still pale from his last ordeal. But then the surface suddenly cleared and he gasped at the view.
He had never seen it before, but he knew it nonetheless. He had heard and read about it in so many legends. But even if he hadn't, he still would have known it. The White City.
The point of view suddenly changed and he was looking inside the City. He could see people walking on the streets, chatting blissfully and smiling. Then the mirror shifted once again, giving him a look inside the palace.
And there, sitting on a bed was a slender form in a blue dress. She turned towards him and her beautiful face broke into a smile. Estel's heart skipped a bit.
He looked at her in fascination, but it wasn't Arwen that captured him. Because there, in her arms, was the most perfect creature that had ever existed.
The fair face was surrounded by dark wavy hair. His hair. Two huge gray eyes stared at him. The boy was playing with his mother's hair, but then he squeaked happily and stretched his small arms in the air.
Suddenly this amazing creature turned towards him and pointed a cute little finger right at his face. "Nana, Ada is coming!" he blabbered excitedly.
The vision suddenly went away, leaving Estel staring at the mirror. "Is this real?" he whispered. "Is this going to happen?"
"I don't know the answer to this, Estel," Galadriel spoke. "It might or might not, there are many forces in this world and you can't control them all. But I feel that if you walk along your path and don't stray, and if your heart stays true, this vision can very well become real. And this is something you can control. But even if it comes true it can be fifty, even sixty or seventy years from now." Galadriel smiled at the young ranger who suddenly looked too serious for his age. "Don't trouble yourself with this. You almost died today, you need to sleep and rest. Besides," she added with a slightly conspiratorial grin, "your brothers and Legolas are arriving tomorrow and you certainly don't look well. You need to come up with a believable explanation, unless you want me to tell them the truth."
But Estel didn't even hear her. His mind was lost somewhere, so far away in space and time. He had seen many visions in this mirror. Some were true, some were not, but he didn't care. All he cared about was the smiling little face, lost in wavy dark locks, and the enormous gray eyes that stared at him with love and curiosity. The mirror lied to him many times, but he knew that this face was real. And he would fight to make it come true.
THE END
I know, that's probably my worst story, I wrote it during a writer's block, and the plot seems to me a bit disorganized. But if you managed to read it until the end, please tell me what you think. I really value your opinion :)
The Estel Angst Central Competition, Spiders will close on April 30. If you want to participate, read the stories already submitted, or just take a look, links could be found on my profile page.
To everyone reading "Unbreakable" and "Friendship is a Family Trait" – I'm sorry I'm making you wait… once again. I'll update as soon as I can!
Thanks for reading!
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