The Five Stages Of Grief

A/N: Hello Readers. I've been absent from writing for a while because of these time consuming AS levels and I am going to continue with 'I miss you' but I had to write this story. Basically yesterday I was sitting in my English Lit class and we were discussing Anne Bronte's last poem that she wrote when she was dying and how she goes through the five stages of grief (kind of) and me being me thought 'ooh what would Arthur's grief be like if Merlin died?' so I came up with this. There will be five chapters, one for each stage of grief and yeah… hope you enjoy it! P.S Thank you so much to the reviewers on 'I miss you' You made me squeal with happiness!

Denial

Arthur paced up and down the corridor outside the physician's chambers. His hands were clasped behind his back to stop them shaking. His idiot manservant had decided to be a hero again and had pushed him out of the way when a bandit sent an arrow towards Arthur. The arrow had embedded itself in Merlin's stomach and Arthur and the knights had rushed him back to Gaius. Now Arthur was waiting for news on his friend…

The door to the chambers opened and Arthur whipped round to see Gaius standing in the entrance. 'How is he?' Arthur asked.

Gaius sighed, 'He's awake Sire' he told Arthur 'You can see him, but I must warn you he's very weak. He's still in a serious condition.' Arthur nodded, 'Thank you Gaius' he replied and quickly walked into the room and up the stairs before flinging open the door to Merlin's room. His heart sank as he saw Merlin huddled under the covers, his face was pale and he looked very small. 'Merlin' Arthur said softly, Merlin turned his head and smiled.

'Glad to see you're ok' he replied weakly. Arthur scowled and crossed the room to sit in the chair beside Merlin's bed. 'Oh I'm fine' he hissed 'but you're not. Why do you have to be such a clot pole Merlin? Do you think I enjoy the fact that you continue to risk your life for me.' He let out a sigh as he finished and tried to stop himself trembling. Merlin shifted and winced before reaching out and taking Arthur's hand. He squeezed it before flopping back against the pillows. 'You know I'd do it again Arthur' he said,' you're destined to be the greatest King and you're well on the way to achieving it, even if you are a prat.' He smiled before becoming serious again. 'When I die you'll remember me, won't you?' Arthur frowned, 'Of course but you're not going to die Merlin, you're going to be fine. You'll be back to polishing my armour by next week!'

Merlin shook his head 'I don't think I am this time Arthur, I'm so tired I don't have the strength. It's like the life's draining out of me.' Merlin had to stop to regain his breath. Arthur leaned forward and placed his hands on the bed. 'You will be fine Merlin. You won't die, I forbid it.'

Merlin chuckled weakly 'Be careful Sire, you almost sound as if you care!' His smile slipped though when he saw how serious Arthur was. 'I do care' Arthur said, swallowing the lump in his throat 'I know I never say it but you're my best friend Merlin and I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. You may be a complete idiot most of the time, but I've got to quite like you Merlin and you do give good advice. Quite a lot of the time actually.' Merlin beamed at him, his eyes sparkling with tears. 'Thank you Arthur' he whispered. 'No Merlin, thank you. Thank you for saving my life.' Arthur said. He leaned forward and gently embraced Merlin being careful to avoid the stomach wound. 'Now get some rest.' He said as he pulled back and prepared to stand up. 'Can you stay with me?' Merlin asked. Arthur nodded and sat there until Merlin fell asleep. He's going to be fine Arthur thought and smiled as he closed his eyes.

Arthur woke to a raspy rattling breath that was coming from Merlin. Arthur stiffened; he'd heard that noise from too many men in battles. It was the death rattle. Feeling panicked Arthur shook Merlin's shoulder. 'Merlin, wake up!' He pleaded. Merlin stayed unconscious. 'GAIUS' Arthur yelled as Merlin took one more rattling breath.

Gaius burst into the room and went straight to Merlin's side. It was then that Arthur realised that he couldn't hear Merlin's breathing anymore. 'Gaius?' He whispered. Gaius leaned forward and checked for Merlin's pulse. After an agonizingly long minute he straightened up and turned towards Arthur shaking his head with tears in his eyes. Arthur stumbled backwards, his heart beating fast. 'No' he whispered. 'I'm sorry Sire' Gaius said, tears running down his cheeks. 'I think he was bleeding on the inside, there was nothing I could have done.' Arthur walked back to Merlin's side. 'He's fine' he said, his voice trembling. 'He can't be dead! I told him that he would be fine.' He pressed his forehead against Merlin's and took a deep breath before leaving the room.

What am I going to do?