AN: Yeah I just wasn't able to write lately. I was too depressed. I don't want to have to explain it but basically even the things I liked to do no longer did anything for me. Writing felt like pain.

I still wanted to write though. (Trust me, I've been trying al this time)

As I try to get back into the swing of things, I'll be uploading short little crack fics. Oh well. See the bottom if you want to know why I ship NozoUmi.


Once upon a time there was a rich hipster named Nozomi who wanted things to be more ~SPIRITUAL~ so she went on a journey on a magic carpet around the world looking for people who understood her. (Also, to spread swag everywhere.)

Nozomi always made sure to always wear a classy beret and play the banjo to goats. She would drink lots of pomegranate juice so she grow to be majestic.

During her travels, Nozomi fell in love with a little piece of ocean, with its deep blue ripples, gently rolling waves, and whirlpools that gripped onto Nozomi like a tenacious and passionate lover and wouldn't let go. So Nozomi decided to flirt with the ocean using her spiritual hipster powers.

"Are you the ocean?" Nozomi said, smitten, "Because have one deep soul."

The ocean was not impressed so she splashed Nozomi in the face with salty water.

"What are you so salty about?" Nozomi said, tilting her sunglasses, "Because I'm so smooth?"

Nozomi asked what the ocean's name was. The little piece of ocean said her name was Umi and she wanted to take Nozomi on a date. The ocean gave Nozomi its phone number.

So Nozomi used her SPIRITUAL POWERR to transform part of the ocean into a human girl. She had flowing blue hair as deep and majestic as the depths of melodic sea itself, but as it flowed outwards it progressed to an airy, bright aqua of clean shallow shores. Her eyes were a pale yellow, like the sand.

"Nozomi... I've always wanted to be a human," The ocean said, looking at her hands for the first time.

Nozomi hugged the beautiful Umi and they started to sing. Their love became so deep and spiritual that they soared above the ground when they were together, feeling the wonderful rush of magic and euphoria in their veins as the wind whipped through their hair and long, flowing dresses. They were able to soar when they were together.

Nozomi and Umi had a great time frolicking around. It was so wonderfully amazing that an evil witch named Maki got jealous.

So Maki descended down broodingly from the land of the brooms, with a dark rendition of "Daring!" playing in the background...

"Nozomi Toujou, put the ocean back in its place." Maki commanded, as red lightning cracked the sky in half. "Stop having it be missing."

"How about no?" Nozomi pushed up her sunglasses. "I'm Nozomu Toujou, queen of Muse, putting out them rhymes like Dr. Seuss. I'm the smooth homo and that's who I am, I put the double "o" in smooth because I'm Nozomi Toujou. So you better not pout, you better not cry-"

"QUIET!" Maki thundered. "I bet you can't think of another rhyme!"

So then Maki and Nozomi got in a SPIRITUAL RAP BATTLE.

"I'm Nozomi, everyone's homie, you're just lonely and baloney!"

"My name's Maki, queen of sassy, you're just tacky, acting wacky!"

"Guys?" Umi cried. She didn't want for them to be fighting. "Guys?"

Maki cast her voice up to the heavens.

"BY THE POWER OF DOG FOOD."

She summoned a beam from her broom and turned Nozomi into a volleyball. Nozomi plummeted down and bounced onto the sandy stretch of white land below.

"Nozomi, no!" Umi cried, running towards her. "Nozomiii..."

Maki began to cackle like the villain girl from an old shoujo anime. Oohohoho~!

"That's what you get, you lil' punks!" Maki flew out of the distance on her broom, her fingers in the rock symbol. Whoosh!

Umi held the volleyball which used to be Nozomi in her cold, shaking hands that were as frigid as stiff popsicles.

Nozomi had sacrificed her physical form so that she could be together with Umi.

Umi's sandy eyes grew wet and damp with her tears, spilling uncontrollably from her tear ducts. She was so saddened and touched at the same time.

"Nozomi..."

Suddenly, Umi abruptly wiped her wet, sandy eyes and looked at the volleyball with a face so suddenly sharp and determined, it could kill. She was having a heroic moment.

"I will... give you the best life ever! Even if you are now a volleyball... I will become strong to protect you and hold you close, the way you always protected me. I will give you love, I will give you hope, and I WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!"

So Umi didn't. Umi went to the beach with Nozomi. She went to the fancy restaurant and took her to the park, the bathroom, and even to the dance club.

"Mm... baby, I love your ripples and curves..." Umi lifted Nozomi up to her face and sensually caressed her velvety curvaceous volleyball lines.

Holding back tears of grief at missing hearing her lover's voice, Umi nudged at the volleyball and kissed it gently.

"Ew! Look at that girl, being all lewd with with a volleyball." Nico laughed like a chihuahua coughing up a hair ball.

"NOZOMI HAS A SOUL YOU LITTLE HYPOTENUSE." Umi glared at Nico, jumped up and kicked her right in the caboosey. In high heels.

"Kyaaa! Stop kicking me in the Nico Nico Knee!" Nico squealed.

"ONLY IF YOU SAY IT'S TRUE LOVE!" Umi yelled, pulling out a guitar.

"Ah, not the guitar!" Nico dashed away.

Even though Nozomi couldn't talk or convey her emotions, she was so, so touched that Umi loved her so much and stayed so compassionate and to her. Now that she was just a volleyball, she felt so touched and fortunate that there was someone who could still love her, no matter what form she took.

Until the day they needed to part.

When the sun finally set in sunrise land...

Umi was taking a stroll with Nozomi along the shore. When suddenly...

"Umi, thank you..." Nozomi said.

Umi felt as if she had been touched by an angel. Nozomi was talking now? She could hardly believe her ears. She looked at the volleyball with eyes melting as if they were made of corn sap.

"Thank you Umi... for all you've done." Nozomi said.

"You're welcome..." Umi said, biting her lip. "But... why do you sound so sad?"

"Because the time has come, Umi." Nozomi said. "It is time we must say farewell."

The words stung Umi's heart, like a bad heartburn that happens after eating greasy fast food.

"Farewell..."

"But... but why?" Umi began to cry. She shed salty ocean tears that battered the white powder sand, leaving dark circles on the wide sandbank.

"The cards told me that it was my destiny." Nozomi said. "You are the sea, Umi. I am a human in my true form. And we can no longer be together, for the world does not allow it. I am so sorry..."

Fireflies began to light up the seashore, complimenting the warm, breathtakingly glowing sky.

"But Nozomi... Why? Why? I don't want you to leave..." Umi collapsed to the ground, overtaken by wracking sobs. Ocean water flowed from her eyes. "I love you so much... Nozomi..."

"I am sorry Umi. But there is one last I need to tell you."

Nozomi the volleyball majestically lifted up in the air, out of Umi's grasp, and began to sparkle amongst the magical scene. Umi eyed the glowing volleyball in awe. She bit her lip and held back the tears.

"Farewell, this is really difficult to say. I don't want to leave either, because I love you Umi. You were the one. The one who stayed by my side no matter what, who never gave up on me. You were my true love until the end. You're a part of my life I will always remember."

Nozomi the volleyball floated back down to Umi's face and gave her a goodbye kiss that filled them both with overflowing love, warmth and pain at the same time.

"It is time. Farewell Umi. I will always remember you. Don't forget to brush your teeth or else your butt will fall off."

Nozomi began to roll down the sand until she was stopped by the stretch of shallow water. She began to let the tide carry her away.

"Nozomi, noooo!" Umi ran down the sand after her.

"Nozomi, Nozomi..."

The volleyball floated away, further and further into the brightly glimmering distance. The rhythmic waves carried her inwards and then outwards, slipping away silently from Umi's grasp.

Eventually, Nozomi was dragged so far away, that it was pointless for Umi to try and go after her. If Umi submerged herself in water, she would be swept away as well, as she was a part of the ocean herself.

"Nozomi, I'm sorry!" Umi called out, setting her sobs aside. "I'm sorry about everything... I wish I could've told you how much I love you... Nozomi. Please. I'll miss you too much. Don't break my heart like this..."

"I love you..."

Umi swore she heard she final echo of Nozomi's voice resonate above the waves, to her ears.

"Nozomi, noooo!"

The giant red sun sunk below the point of the horizon, casting the land in a warm fuzzy darkness. The tiny speck rolling on the waves became smaller and smaller until it was no longer in sight.

Umi stood still, trying to accept the bitter reality that Nozomi was gone, and all that was left was the hypnotic noise of the gently crashing waves that had carried her into the distance.

She couldn't accept it.

"No... I'm alone now. The one person who loved me, the one I held close and treasured... my only one... is no longer with me."

When I find myself in times of trouble, Nozomi Toujou comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom, big booty.

Umi cried and cried, until she became nothing but salty water. When she woke up one morning, she saw nothing but sky and water. Umi's glorious life as a human being has left her as well. She was once again the sea.

Umi knew that by now, Nozomi was able to turn back into a human. She was nowhere to be seen among the waves. She was as distant from Umi once again as long before.

"If Nozomi can be a human again... if she can live as a human and be happy without me..." Umi thought, "Then perhaps it was worth turning back into the sea."

"Thank you Nozomi, for the wonderful times I've shared with you. I'll never forget about you, ever."

Nozomi never forgot about Umi. Eventually she traveled the world and became the most spiritual person of all. Never once did she cease to think about Umi as she ascended from the physical realm and became higher than all the others.

Even though they were so far away. Nozomi would always look down back to the old world she left, and gaze at the wondrous blue that was the ocean. She would get misty eyed, yet comforted at the same time. Somewhere within the heart of the marvelous blue, was the soul of Umi Sonoda, the love she would never forget.

Umi would always look up to the sky, knowing Nozomi was there. She could always feel her presence. Her smile and heart were embedded into the heavens itself, shining to her with every sunrise and sunset. Umi could feel the warmth of Nozomi's heart all around her.

From then on, the sky and ocean were always connected. The memories of the ocean will never disappear from the sky. The memories of the sky will never disappear from the ocean.

Even though Nozomi and Umi are apart, they will always be together in each other's souls.

And then Maki got hit with a banana.

The end!


Why I ship NozoUmi:

It was initially result of shipping the two left-over characters that weren't already in a ship for me. It grew on me, and now i ship it hard.

I imagine Umi still being a little immature in ways and often too much of a perfectionist, so Nozomi gives her wise words and new perspective to soothe Umi's many worries and to teach her to be more positive.

Umi is really really attached to Nozomi like a big sister. She gets dramatic when she's worried about her, as opposed to Umi usually concealing her feelings. Umi feels like she can show the deeper sides of herself to Nozomi, who is warm and reliable.

Plus Nozomi likes to tease Umi a little, but in a nice way. Calling her cute, playing with her hair, initiating pillow fights, just to make her smile.

Umi admires Nozomi for being so mature and nurturing, a leader in her own way. Nozomi appreciate's Umi's hard-working and focused attitude, even to the point where she overwhelms herself.

"Umi really is a good person. She's just a little shy. But she's really dependable and I know inside she has a pure heart."

"Nozomi really is honest and caring. I really appreciate it. I guess you could even say… I look up to her, in ways."