A/N: If you have already read my story then first I wanna say I love you sooo much, also I edited one sentence in this because it was thought to be offensive. I don't want anyone to be offended by my work so I gladly removed it-I thought it was funny but it offended someone so it's gone. Nothing else is different in the story and, as promised, chapter two will be up later today. For those who have no clue what I'm talking about and haven't read, Welcome! Enjoy.
I only own my Shepard's sexy face…nothing else.
Shepard was not happy. There was no doubt about it. The reason for her foul mood was two floors up sitting her gigantic ass in that comfy leather chair of hers. She was angry because ever since they had gotten back from the Omega 4 Relay, Miranda hadn't shut that genetically altered mouth of hers. Actually, the unnecessary talking from Miss Lawson started way before the ship even made it to the relay and continued on throughout the entire mission. After practically begging the Commander for something to do, Shepard allowed Miranda to lead the fire team, a task she planned to give to Jacob. Afterwards, the look of smug satisfaction on Miranda's face after she, barely, kept the fire team alive made Shepard want to leave the Cerberus operative on that Collector ship. It took every fiber of her being no to, but she was a major Paragon damn it and she just couldn't do it. For now, she would just make dumb jokes from a distance away as to avoid unnecessary conflict.
"Shepard, I can make that biotic shield for us cuz I'm Miranda and I have super sexy epic fail powers." Shepard mocked the woman in probably the greatest Australian accent ever heard by Jack's ears.
"HA! Shepard, that was perfection." Jack said with a very creepy grin. Shepard made a mental note to never make jack happy again, it was just too creepy.
"Well what can I say, I'm a woman with many talents," she said with a small shrug. "I'm serious though, are you two really going to fight? I mean I really wouldn't mind getting in on that. She's really been on my nerves lately and I would love the chance to pound her Cerberus loving face in."
"Oh, you don't really mean that, Shepard. Right?" Shepard's temper cooled at the sight of the young quarian making her way down the steps. Apparently Tali had overheard the two women's conversation and decided to join in. Not that Shepard was complaining of course. She had jokingly called Tali her "stalker" because of the fact that, on her workspace, Tali had a picture of herself, Shepard, Ashley and Engineer Adams folded in half so it just showed Tali and Shepard. Shepard of course teased her for it but secretly the commander was very flattered. She also loved how embarrassed Tali got when she called her that. Cruel? Yes. Fun? Definitely.
"I really don't like that woman Tali. I know it sounds odd coming from me but if she disappeared off the face of the galaxy tomorrow, I wouldn't even flinch." She didn't show it but Shepard herself was a little surprised by her statement. Never before had she felt pure hatred for anyone. The angriest she could get towards someone could be described as "extreme dislike", but nothing more.
"Damn ,Shepard, who knew there was this dark, crazy, awesome side of you" Jack was practically drooling at the thought of herself and Shepard beating Miranda to a pulp.
"Well I don't like it, Shepard. You really shouldn't say things like that. What if something bad actually happened to her? You would probably feel really bad for saying these things, so as a friend I'm suggesting you stop." Tali said, a bit surprised at how confident she sounded considering the fact that she was no more than five feet from the two time savior of the galaxy and possibly the strongest (and most psychotic) biotic, in said galaxy.
"Alright, alright I get it, mom. Jeez don't have a space cow, Tali. Come on I'll take you back to your station, I'm heading that way anyway." Shepard said goodnight to Jack and walked her quarian friend upstairs. She planned on having a serious conversation with Tali about drive cores or whatever she was always "cleaning" when Shepard came to talk, but instead Miranda plagued her mind the entire way there. She realized that what Tali said really didn't affect her, she only stopped talking about because she was scaring Tali. Quite frankly, she was a little concerned about it too. Her emotions were all out of whack and she had been imagining some very awful things involving Miranda all day. It was insanity! Miranda hadn't actually done anything today-well not that she knew of, she hadn't spoken to her at all- just the thought of Miranda starting a fight with her made her blood boil, it also kind of excited her. She came to the sudden realization that she wanted this. She wanted to end Miranda and to do it soon. There were very few things that made Shepard angry. They were just general things that made most people angry like; cockiness, bossiness, Australian accents, tight body suits, random ass shots and other normal things like that. Tali was totally wrong on this, Shepard was sure that this little issue wouldn't go beyond immature jokes and dreams of extreme misfortune befalling Miranda. Everything would be fine.
"Shepard? Hellooo! Anyone in there?" Tali waved a three fingered-or two and one thumb if you want to get technical- hand in front of the commander.
"What, what did I miss?" She said in a daze, she studied her surroundings-how in the world did she end up by the drive core?
"Well, you missed the entire walk up here and apparently you didn't hear a word I said. You weren't thinking of her again, were you?" she said with her arms crossed over her chest.
"Of course not, that's preposterous!" Ok that didn't work. "Tali, you know you're the only girl for me." There we go.
Ken and Gabby were just a short distance away and Shepard thought Ken's neck would break at how fast he looked over to them.
"Cut it out Shepard!" Tali said in a hushed voice. Now how she managed to yell and whisper at the same time, Shepard would never know. She didn't care though, she had accomplished her goal, Tali was mortified. Shepard would sleep comfortably tonight. "Shepard listen to me, I really don't want you thinking about this anymore. It's only a matter of time until thoughts or words become something more"
Shepard contemplated Tali's statement for a moment before responding with a confused expression, "Wait, I'm confused, are we talking about Miranda or our relationship?"
"Keelah, Shepard could you be serious for just one minute!"
"Tali, I'm of course joking, I'm just trying to be chill about this because you need to chill out," She grabbed Tali by the hand. "You know me better than most people on this ship so you should know that joking is how I operate. It is kind of a human thing but you've been around us long enough to see how weird we are, you should understand."
Tali giggled at that, it was the most adorable thing Shepard had heard all day. "Alright Shepard, I understand. Now I really should clean up this engine. Talk later?"
"Alright Tali, I'll leave you alone. But I can get a kiss goodnight right?" She said with a wolfish grin.
"Get out!" Tali looked for something to throw while Shepard made a successful escape to the elevator.
"Man I'm good." Shepard made her way to the crew deck as she was very hungry. Flirting with shipmates really gave her the munchies. Also she might actually get a kiss goodnight from Thane. She wondered if flirting with almost ALL of her crew would come to bite her in the ass one day.
"Nah" she said as the elevator doors finally opened. She walked-or swayed rather, she just had to put a show on for the random crew scattered around the deck- to the fridge where she discovered quite possibly the most amazing piece of cake she had ever seen. After she ate it, she felt as though she could take on the Reapers right then. But she wouldn't risk it so instead she went to the elevator to get to bed before the "M" word could resurface into her thoughts. As she stepped inside, she heard footsteps behind her. Loud ones, like the person was wearing heels. "Please be Samara, please, please be the awesome blue alien…" but sadly her pleas went unanswered as Miranda-who looked a bit surprised to see Shepard standing there- entered the elevator.
That's when things started to get odd. Suddenly, Shepard started to shake and her vision turned red. Everything Miranda had ever said that irritated her started clouding her mind. I was designed to be perfect, I report to the Illusive Man, Cerberus is right, I'm right, Jack was a mistake… It was too much for the commander and she finally snapped. She turned towards Miranda, who was fumbling with the elevator controls trying to escape. She looked at Shepard and flared her biotics, Shepard smiled and lunged at the woman. This ends now.
And that's when Shepard blacked out.
