Name:_Chase Davenport_
On a scale from one to ten rate how relevant it is to you. 1 being not at all like me and ten being describes me perfectly. Please answer honestly and to the best of your ability.
1) I feel that I am underappreciated by my peers. _10_
2) I often feel sad for no apparent reason. _7_
3) I often feel loved and cared for. _3_
4) I have a hard time falling asleep. _6_
5) People I know don't understand me. _6_
6) My appetite is less than it used to be. _9_
7) I have lost a significant amount of weight. _9_
8) I spend less time with friends than in the past. _5_
9) I consider myself a successful person. _1_
10) I have taken up some form of self-harm. _10_
I have thoughts of suicide on a daily basis. _10_
I have attempted suicide at least once. _10_
I feel the world would be a better place without me. _9_
I have lost motivation in my everyday life. _7_
Short answer. Please keep answers under seven sentences.
1) Has there been any major changes in your life recently and if so what have they been?
I found out my boyfriend was working for an evil man who tried to kidnap me and my siblings. I loved him and still do but he was killed. I miss him every day of my life. I know if I had just been a few feet closer I could have saved him. My siblings trust me less on missions because I made a big mistake that almost cost them their lives.
2) How do you feel on a normal basis?
I feel worthless. I want to think that I'm this great team leader that should be looked up to. I want to say that I make a difference and that I'm useful but I'm not. I can't go a day without crying. I have considered giving my body over to my alter ego Spike. I'm sure even with his aggression he would make a better team member than me.
3) How is you're typical morning?
I wake up earlier than my brother and sister because I don't want them to see how much I cry in my sleep.I've also started to wake up with bloody palms. I've started digging my finger nails into my palms while I sleep. It's not too bad though. It's not as effective as a razor blade but it still takes some of my pain away. I dress eat breakfast hide in the bathroom to cut myself and then go to school. Sometimes I provoke my brother so he'll give me a beating. No matter how much I say I hate it, it'll always make me feel like I am at least useful for something even if I can be replaced with a punching bag.
4)Have you ever harmed yourself purposely in any way? Do your family and/or friends know?
I cut myself on a normal basis. It brings me calm and I can smell the blood for the rest of the day. The smell reminds me that I'm alive whether I like it or not. I don't believe my family knows. I'm good at keeping secrets. I don't think they even realize I'm depressed. It's not my place to make them deal with my problems. I need to work on this alone. It's the only way they will still love me. How could anyone love someone so broken? It must always be a secret.
5) If you attempted suicide do you regret it?
I tried hanging myself but I was caught by Leo, my step brother. I erased his memories so he would forget. I regretted it because it's selfish of me to end my life. I can't put my life and needs above everyone else. I have a duty to save those in danger even if I can't save myself. I don't want to try again but I know it's a real possibility. One day I will break and I won't be stupid enough to kill myself in such a public way.
RESULTS: You are suffering from clinical depression. It is recommended to see a psychologist immediately. Our suggestion is you talk to someone you trust and confide your feelings. Those going through depression need support. Attached is the contact information of several psychologists.
