Where the Heart Is

I got 358/2 Days the other day, and I haven't put it down once! This is practically the first time since Sunday. I wrote this after playing through the second bout of missions for Olympus Coliseum (I hate that level), which is why there's no Marluxia, Larxene, Lexaeus, Zexion etc. 'cause they're all dead! *Ahem* I never liked them anyways. Moving on: shut up and read the story. By the way, if you ever read this, Rubi, I dedicate this story to you!!!!

I don't own Kingdom hearts, savvy? On with the story!


It wasn't long before Roxas realised that he'd been calling The Castle That Never Was 'home'.

He didn't even know what the word 'home' meant. He didn't know a lot of things, like how old he was, or how he learned to speak in the first place, but the question of 'home' stuck in his mind the most. He'd sit awake at night, playing with the slightly fraying ends of his coat, staring at the heart-shaped moon suspended in the curtain of sky above him, and think of how little he truly knew.

Not knowing what 'home' meant made him feel inferior somehow. It was the same as when he'd wake up and Xigbar would call him 'kiddo', or the entire team would've already left on a mission and he'd be stuck collecting hearts again. He didn't particularly want to ask either.

Still, some things you just can't work out for yourself.

Roxas asked Demyx first, being as he was the only one that would be likely to give him a sane answer.

"Home? Why are you asking me?" he asked, with a hint of astonishment in his voice.

"Well... I don't really know, and you guys seem to know more about everything that I do," Roxas muttered, pressing his index fingers together.

"Hmm... Well, I guess home is where you can sit back and relax without worrying about being ratted on. Like when I play my Sitar. Saïx would destroy me if he found me doing that out in the field!"

Roxas was doubtful. With only a few members of the Organization still extant, Saïx would need all the Nobodies he could get.

Still, it made Roxas ponder. He very rarely relaxed; always feeling like someone was watching him from the back of his mind. It made goosebumps run up and down his arms, and he was thankful for the coat that obscured his skin. Roxas wondered how Saïx would know if Demyx was goofing off on duty. He snuck a glance at the Luna Diviner, still and formal against the glass, and quickly looked away.

Next was Xigbar. He scratched his head with the tip of one of his Arrowguns, screwing his face up in thought.

"Never really thought about it before... I would say that home is where the rest of your family is. I guess that makes this place our crib, eh?"

Roxas didn't answer. He couldn't. Instead he lowered his head in thought and traipsed off. Family... He didn't know what that was either, but the Organization didn't sound very close knit at all, judging by the way the remaining members reacted to the terminating of the Castle Oblivion team.

Termination: such an ugly word. Like they'd been dropped off as extra baggage. Yet another thing that made Roxas shudder.

He asked Xaldin next. He looked less than impressed.

"Not now, Roxas. Go and play with your girlfriend."

Roxas blushed furiously.

"She's not my girlfriend! And why is it so hard for you to give me an answer?!"

"Fine! People say that home is where the heart is. Now, go away. I have more important things to do than talk to you."

Roxas clenched his fists into tight balls when the Whirlwind Lancer turned his back. It would almost be like he had rage coursing through his veins, and then the feeling would vanish in an instant, as if it wasn't there at all. Roxas could never remember what it was like. He wasn't sure whether that was good or bad.

Then again, Xaldin's comment startled him. Nobodies didn't have hearts. His home must be where his heart is, and that was Kingdom Hearts. Kingdom hearts, however, wasn't where his family were, or a place where he could relax without being ratted on. He didn't even know what Kingdom hearts was: yet another thing to add to the list of things he didn't know.

It was curious how everyone answered his question, yet gave him no answer for his question.

The library wasn't much help either: the pages of the books as enigmatical and confusing as the castle that they were kept in. Roxas ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation, feeling like it stuck up too much, or it was too light a colour, but stopped when he felt a twinge at the back of his skull. Like a pair of blue eyes and blonde hair creasing in a smile. He got up and left quickly, the goosebumps returning with a vengeance.

He asked Axel and Xion one day, while they were sitting on top of Station Heights.

"Don't ask me, Roxas," whispered Xion. "I don't know either."

They both turned to Axel.

"You two rely on me too much, ya' know? First the vacation thing, and now this. You can get hurt if you think too much."

"Are you sidestepping the subject?" asked Xion, an accusation building in her eyes. Roxas shuddered at the fuzzy images that flashed before his retinas again.

"Nah. Home is where your friends are, ya' know: the ones who make you feel like you really have hearts."

Roxas and Xion blinked, before looking at each other.

And bursting into laughter.

"What? What's so funny?!"

"You sounded so serious there, Axel! I can't take you seriously when you're like that."

Axel harrumphed and went back to eating his ice cream a bit more violently than before. Roxas watched his melt, letting small droplets of blue fall to the ground and scatter. Xion swung her feet over the edge, watching a flock of birds fly by.

This felt more like home than The Castle That Never Was.

He wondered what the boy in red would call home.

Starts with an 'S'...