THE MEASURES A MALFOY MUST RESORT TO

Rose Weasley was walking down the hallway the first time Scorpius Malfoy, attempted to woo her. This Malfoy happened to be the boy she was madly in love with, but she never believed him when he professed his love for her or asked her out on a date because of his playboy reputation. Therefore, he had to resort to the demeaning usage of pick up lines. She still thought it was a joke, but it was fun.


The first time it happened was when she was walking down the staircase to the Great Hall. He walked towards her, stopping two stairs beneath her.

As she looked down at him, rolling her eyes, she said,' Now what, Malfoy? Are you going to declare your undying love for me and then ask me out again?'

He shook his head and then said, 'I was simply going to ask you if you needed directions.' She looked at him, confusion clearly etched on her face. He continued, 'Heaven is a long way from here and an angel like you really shouldn't be down here all alone'

A few of the girls around simpered while the guys looked uninterested. Rose's cousin, James ,was laughing and the girl herself had moved on from rolling her eyes and now had an eyebrow cocked, like she was asking him a silent question of,' Seriously?'She simply said,' Whatever, Malfoy' before walking into the Great Hall for dinner.


The second time he did this was at a party. This time it was whispered in her ear and not declared publicly. He walked towards her, two drinks in hand. He offered her one, which she reluctantly accepted. They stood in silence for a while before he whispered,' You look beautiful tonight in that dress. It compliments you'

The next part was murmured so softly that she could barely hear it,' You must be one hell of a thief. You stole my heart yet again from all the way across the room'

With those words he walked away, sipping on his drink.


She was in the library with her friends the third time it happened. They were doing their Herbology essay while she read Muggle fiction. He had just walked in and was apparently scanning the room for something. He probably found it because, next thing she knew, and he had made his way towards her. It took every ounce of her self control not to blush when he sat down right across from her.

He said, 'Weasley, do you happen to have a band aid because I just scraped my knee while falling for you all over again'

'Do you come up with all these pick up lines, Malfoy? If you do, then you really have to do a better job.' she said, still trying not to blush. He just smirked knowingly at her before standing up and looking at the other books in the Muggle section.

He returned to his seat across from her, reading "Angels and Demons" by Dan Brown in silence. It was her favorite book and the very same one she was reading at the moment.


The fourth time he attempted a pick up line was during Astronomy class. Both of them had been the only students, except for a Ravenclaw, to continue it at NEWT level. Her because she loved the stars and he because he loved her.

Their professor had been rambling on about some planet and none of the students had been paying attention. He took the seat beside her and whispered in her ear, distracting her from looking at something through her telescope,' What are you looking at?'Surprised, she muttered something about looking at her favorite constellation.

He decided to attempt another pick up line, 'When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.'

She looked up at him, thankful that he wouldn't be able to see the blush she had finally succumbed to in the darkness that surrounded eyes met for the briefest of moments before she quickly turned back to looking at her favorite constellation.

If he followed the direction her telescope pointed at, he would have seen her looking at the Scorpius constellation.


The next time he tried something was at breakfast the next day. She was at the Gryffindor table, and he was at the Slytherin table, all the way across the room. Rose had finished her toast, eggs and bacon and was just about to move on to her triple chocolate cupcake.

Scorpius looked up from his place at the other end of the Hall and saw it centimeters away from her mouth. He smirked internally, deciding it would be the perfect moment to use another pick up line.

He shouted,' ROSE WEASLEY! PUT DOWN THAT CUPCAKE, YOU ARE SWEET ENOUGH ALREADY!'At this, the whole Hall burst into laughter as the girl in question looked at him, blushing.


The fifth time he did something was when he found her, crying her eyes out a few months later. He hadn't been able to do anything for those few months because she had just begun dating some guy. When he asked her why she was crying, he found out that she had caught her boyfriend cheating on her with none other than her cousin, Lily.

Most men would decide that this was the wrong time to try and woo a girl, but Scorpius Malfoy still decided to try. He said,' Rose please don't cry. I mean you're really hot, but of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite'

In that moment she gave him a watery smile and began crying again. As he comforted her, he didn't realize that she was crying tears of joy because the one constant thing in her life would be these continual pick up lines from him.


The sixth time he tried something was the time she finally agreed to go out with him. She had just been walking in the corridor when he decided that he would not only use a pick up line but would also ask her out.

He didn't make it a public scene, but he pulled her into an abandoned classroom and said, 'Life without you would be like a broken pencil, that is, pointless'

She snorted, not believing that he was being serious, but when she looked up she saw that the only emotion she saw in his eyes was love. He continued, 'Rose, I hope you believe me. I'll be waiting in the Entrance Hall at 11:00 tomorrow, ready to take you to Hogsmeade.I hope you show up.'

And she did.


The seventh time he used a pick up line on her was to win her back after their first serious fight. They had graduated with flying colors and he was working as an Unspeakable and she was a Quidditch player for the Holyhead Harpies. Their fight had started off as something silly but had soon escalated to a whole new level. When she called him a 'shit faced bastard', he had stormed out of their apartment and hadn't returned.

His life had become so much worse since then and it had only been two days. When he saw her at Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor in Diagon Alley, his heart stopped because even though she had dark circles under her eyes and she had tear tracks on her face, she looked beautiful. His heart also ached thinking he caused it.

He suddenly had an epiphany. He walked into the store and said loud enough for everyone to hear,' If I had a Knut for every time I thought of you, I would have exactly one Knut because you never leave my mind'

And when she came sailing into his arms, he knew that everything would be perfectly fine.


The eighth time he used a pick up line on her was when he asked her to marry him. He had had a long day at work and the little velvet box had been in his pocket for the past week. He finally worked up the courage to ask her while they were having their dessert.

He got out of his chair and went down on one knee,saying,'Rose Nymphadora Weasley,I have smiled at thousands of people,thousands of times,but when I saw you,my heart looked up and smiled for the first time and that was when we were eleven year olds on the school train. To this day, every time I see you my heart smiles, so will you do me the honor of allowing me to stay by your side for the rest of my life?'

When he heard her say yes, all was right with the world.


The ninth time he used a pick up line on her was in his wedding vows. Instead of the beautiful, sunny day they had been hoping for, the sky was depressingly grey and cloudy. Everyone was a little down in the dumps, so Scorpius Malfoy decided to make a little change to his vows.

After he finished saying everything else, he added at the end,'Rosie, no wonder the sky is so grey, today! Your eyes have stolen all the blue.'

The little giggle that escaped her lips gave him satisfaction that his corny, stupid pick up line would never be able to.


A/N: I hope you enjoyed it. I certainly had fun writing it. When you're a little sad, all you need is a light hearted Rosius/Scorose one-shot to make you feel better!

DISCLAIMER-Everything you find familiar belongs to JK Rowling.

I also don't own Pick Up Line Number Eight. That has been adapted from The Birthday Notes by ever afters. It's a really sweet story and all RW/SM fans should read it.