Once upon a time in upper middle class suburbia there was a house. But not just any house, it was a house empty save for two people. As it were, the entirety of the Honda family (for the exception of Hiroto himself) decided to visit some family over the long weekend. Of course Hiroto being the responsible young adult he was volunteered to stay home to watch the house. And it just wasn't because his second cousin had an insatiable libido and decided that Honda was a suitable outlet for it.
No, of course not. It was because he had a load of homework to do and heaven forbid his B+ average should fall to a B! The mere thought of it sent a tremor of terror through out his being.
That i of course /i Honda thought to himself was a load of bullshit. He'd rather have his eyes replaced by hot coals then have to deal with, he shivered in revulsion for a second, i her /i . The open legged slut he called his cousin.
So here Jounouchi and himself were, sitting across from each other at the kitchen table of the brunettes' home. His parents probably knew Jou would end up staying with him. That's the most logical reason he ended up getting called an hour ago by his mother to 'keep the house clean!' and to 'remember to feed Jou, that boys too skinny!'.
Was Jou suddenly the house pet or something?
Honda cleared his thoughts as he delved back into the wonderful world of calculus. Ah yes, he could smell his brain cells frying as he stared at the paper trying to figure the problems out.
"So after I conquer the world you wanna order a pizza?" Jounouchi leaned to the left as the brunette moved into his view of the television.
"Jou, I doubt 'conquering' the world is gonna be all that easy, this is your third time trying." Honda replied with a cheeky grin as he turned back to his homework. It would have been so much easier if the blonde would just let him finish his calculus.
Jounouchi looked back over his friends shoulder to continue with his game. An errant grumble of 'I still want a pizza' trailing the end of his breath.
He bit his tongue before he could lash out. "Look, once I'm done with this I'll order a damn pizza. So stop whining you pansy."
Honda cut in again before the blonde could reply. "I'm sorry man. I'm just a bit stressed because of all this stupid math shit. I should of stayed in my CP course."
He rubbed his brow languidly before meeting the amber brown eyes across from him. The indignant expression of the blondes face slid to one of understanding.
Smiling, he replied with practice ease, as he put his game to pause. "I understand. I'd help you with that," He waggled his fingers to indicate the calc problems," voodoo shit, but it reminds me more of Arabic then it does anything else."
"It'd probably make more sense if it was in Arabic." Honda sighed, pushing the book to the side and closing his notebook on top of it before hissing and pulling back his hand and a oh so dreaded paper cut.
He needed to let his brain take a breather or it was going to explode, and he was fairly certain that he wouldn't enjoy it.
"Toppings?"
Jou blinked a moment before he realized what Honda was talking about.
"Anchovies."
"That's disgusting! Pick something a tad more edible and less likely to make me gag." Honda's face cringed at the idea.
"Meh, they're good. They're all salty and delicious, I bet you haven't even tried them before."
"And I never intend to. Now, peppers, onions, and sausage sound good to you?"
Jounouchi grinned, that would have been his second choice so he nodded eagerly as the brunette picked up the phone and ordered.
Honda and Jou found themselves outside the quant family owned pizza parlor on the other side of Honda's community; the smell of freshly baked pizza wafting out of the ajar door. It was a decent sized two story building, the bottom floor serving as the pizza parlor and the upstairs as the home.
They entered through the door, the chimes tinkling delicately as they swished against the back of clear glass door and greeted them to paradise.
Honda grinned as he nodded to the older man behind the counter swirling some pizza dough up into the air. He had a thick head of salt and pepper hair and smile lines about his mouth. He stopped a moment to put the dough down and gestured them to the
counter.
"How's my little Honda, eh?" The older man smiled wide, his dark eye's shining with mirth.
"Who you calling little Papie? You're practically a midget with the way gravity's taken a hold of you. I'm surprised you're still able to get your head above the counter."
Of course what Honda said was pretty comical considering the man had a couple inches on him as it was. Jou snickered thinking that if this man was a midget what would that make Honda?
"You best watch you mouth. You don't want the misses coming down and teaching you another lesson."
Honda mocked fear as he held up his hands in front of him.
"No! Anything but another pizza lesson!"
They both chuckled together as the man turned around and pulled out two boxes of pizza. He handed them to Honda and collected the money.
Jou and Honda turned to leave, both with smiles on their faces before Papie snatch both their wrists in thick hands.
"You two be careful. Some of the people around here say there's a wild dog loose." He looked out the front window pane before glancing back at them again. "I'm not sure if it's true or not about it being a dog. But there is something out there."
Jou pulled on his wrist and the man obligingly let it go.
"Don't worry pops." Jou unhooked the handle of the bat he had on his belt, twirling it in his hands then reattaching it to his belt. He had a hard gleam in his eyes and a smile on his face. "I'll take care of your little Honda-chan"
He snickered and jogged out the front door with Honda chasing behind, a flurry of curses ran at his heels as he made his way to cut through the local park.
"Slow down! You try to run with your hands burning on fresh pizza!" Honda scowled as he caught up with his friend.
He could swear the idiot never listened to a word anyone said. Honda had heard about the animal attacks, seen one of the animals that had been mauled. It wasn't a pretty sight, the poor lady three doors down was too terrified to leave her home after her dog was decimated.
The poor thing had been literally chewed to pieces. A leg here, a rib there, there was no telling how long it'd be before they found all of what was that chocolate lab.
Shaking his head in sympathy Honda grabbed the back of Jou's jacket, hauling him back a few steps from the parks entrance. You'd think with how superstitious the blonde was he'd think twice before letting himself become a lamb for the big bad doggie.
"Do ya mind?"
"Not really. But I would stop struggling unless you want to eat the pizza off the pavement….although I'm fairly certain that wouldn't detour you."
Jou 'hurrumphed' and stopped moving as his friend let go.
"Now why exactly are you trying to cut through the park? Didn't you hear a THING Papie said?" He glared at the blonde a moment before switching the pizza's into his other hand. God that fucking burns! He waved his hand at his side trying to cool it off.
"Oh c'mon, it's jus' a dog!"
"Just a dog?" Honda's eyebrows came down and his mouth down turned. He grabbed his friend by the collar of his shirt and began to slowly tell him the story of his neighbors lab.
Jou's face twisted into a grimace.
"It really did all that?"
"Jou, they're still looking for the damn things head."
The blonde recollected himself as he pulled his clothes back into place, the image that Honda's story painted still set adrift in his mind.
He unhinged the bat from his belt again and let it smoothly glide through his fist until his hand caught the lip of the handle. He felt the grain of the wood in his hand, flexing his fingers until they wrapped perfectly around the solid piece of oak.
Honda watched his friend wearily, whatever the blonde was thinking was bound to be trouble for him and he REALLY wanted to get home. He could admit it to himself, he really really really didn't like dogs, the damn things terrified the shit out of him sometimes. But he wasn't about to let that little tid-bit of information slide past his lips let alone even get a hold of his tongue.
Cause he knew, if he even mentioned it, Murphy would come out of his damn hole and smack him with the worst situation at the worst god damn time.
Looking at the blonde again he suddenly became curious.
"Where did you get the bat? I don't remember you bringing it to the house." He looked at the curved oak, the even bit of wear down the grip and the few dents pock marking the head before realizing he knew that bat.
Jou batted his eyes at his friend. "It was just looking oh so lonely in the umbrella stand and I just couldn't help myself! The gentle curve, the silky soft feel, and hardness of it took my breath away,' Jou took on a sultry look that made Honda gulp before he continued,' and I just had to whip it out and see what I could do with the thing."
"I don't think I'm ever going to be able to use that bat again without the image of sugar plums dancing through my head." (And by sugar plums he went obscenely naked Jou's) He sighed as the blonde still held the bat in his arms.
"Can you please stop molesting my bat so we can get out of here?"
"Sure, let's go."
So Jou merrily frolicked off into the park, his trusty bat twirling as he made his way to their short cut.
Honda was so going to kill him if they made it out alive.
The trees swayed gently in the mid fall breeze, rustling their myriads of colored leaves together in harmony with the rest of nature. Birds perched in the trees twittered their jovial songs in the approaching dusk as they made camp for the night.
All was well in the world.
"I'm going to kill you."
Or…not…
"How was I suppose to know it was a three way fork!? I don't go this way as much as you do. You should of said something!" Jou crossed his arms, the bat laying across his right shoulder as his hip jutted out to the other side.
"I thought you knew the short cut. Y'know cause it was your idea to go this way and all." Honda ground out trying to keep his calm. He was not going to get mauled by a rabid dog. No, that happened to other people. People with pork chops tied around their necks…or really unlucky people with bad hair cuts and didn't know better.
(heh heh, poor Honda doesn't realize that he does have a bad hair cut and doesn't know better)
Despite it being called a park it was more like a nature preserve with how big it was and thus Honda's hesitancy to go in at all, let alone so close to nightfall. If Jou didn't have such a cute ass to follow he would of never been lured into this mess and would of probably caught the wrong turn they took back in the beginning of this trek.
Honda cursed his hormones; they were always getting him into trouble.
At least he had pizza. Ah yes, oh so glorious pizza. Melting cheese with peppers, onions, and sausage….Didn't dogs like sausage?
Well shit, he might as well of tied a pork chop around his neck. Of course he did have the privledge to die with a full stomach and his best friend so he guessed it wasn't sOOoOOooOOoo bad.
A rustle of leaves to the left brought Honda back to the problem at hand.
Sausage carnivorous animals.
Carnivorous animals not happy bye bye from the world.
Right, check, okay.
"Let's ditch the pizza and get out of here." His voice was edgy and damn well near panic. He really didn't like dogs. Sure the fuzzy little doe eyed puppy here and there was so nice and fun on the right occasion. But he saw what was left of that lab and well…. living sounded so good right now.
"Wha? Why? We only had a little bit of it and we've only been lost for like 20 minutes." He looked at the skyline that barely managed to break through the dense foliage and even denser skyline of buildings.
"You're not afraid are you? The doggie gonna' chew you up? Please, we live in domino man. Even strays aren't that vicious and there's no way there's a bear. So simple deduction points to – ta da – people."
Jou twirled the bat over the back of his knuckles to be deftly caught in his fist again. It felt good to have something solid in his hands again. The bat had just enough heft to it to do some damage but not enough to be a hindrance.
He could remember back to his gang days. The different kinds of cruelty that each member and foe had. He never forgot a face and remembered of couple kids that liked to get their jollies off by torturing defenseless animals. No, there wasn't any big bad wolf, there was just some sick asshole out there being a prick.
A rustle to the right this time brought both of the teens to attention. Whatever it was, was getting closer.
Jou nodded his head and Honda took a defensive stance behind his friend.
They waited as the rustling became louder, more dominant over the quiet of the last rays of twilight.
The hand gripping the bat was white with tension, the corded muscles straining against the resistance of wood. It pulled back, ready to take a swing as the leaves began to part by a nearby bush.
Ready, aim…
Out popped a rabbit. Jou barely stopped the downward swing of the bat before he brained the poor thing to death.
It's brown ears were at attention, the glossy eyes wide with fear as it dodged under their legs and into the nearby brush with the flutter of leaves and low branches.
Strike one.
Honda laughed, a guttural sound coming from his belly and bursting out his mouth before he had the sense to cover it with his free hand and snicker instead.
Jou turned in his stance slightly to glare at his laughing friend, the bat hand raising to his waist as he shook the bat at his friend with a 'you're gonna get it look'.
Then there was fur.
Oh god Honda thought as the damned thing leaped from the brush with out so much as a whisper of leaves. His eyes widened taking in the thing in mid air; semi long grey and brown fur, a long snout, and those yellow eyes.
Jou barely had time to read his friends 'oh shit' face before realizing he'd better defend himself before whatever was behind him decided that eating him under the ambiance of the moon was a good idea.
He didn't have enough time to get his stance back into a more balanced position but he did have enough time to pivot and swipe the bat with a good chunk of his muscle.
As he turned he could see the gloss of fur and shining eyes and he aimed as well as he could in the off balanced near fall he was in.
Strike Two.
The thing ducked low as Jou pivoted out of the way. A clean swipe, it would of knocked the thing unconscious if it had hit.
Jou could hear the quick shuddering breaths from his friend, the pizza's dropping, and Honda hesitantly backing up. Not good. The wolf, a large one at that, was taking the easy road. Why take up a fight when it could easily take Honda in his flight.
He didn't have a choice now. The way Honda was backing away there was no way he was going to be putting up a fight.
"Back over here bitch!" The clear warning was evident even if the animal had no idea what he was saying.
It glanced between the two as if weighing its options. Its hackles raised as it finally decided. Jou it was.
Honda darted his eyes to his friend and they locked in a moment that needed no words. Honda wasn't going to be able to fight this fight, the blonde was alone and was going to have to get them both out of this mess.
He was perfectly fine with that.
The wolf rounded back with a purposeful pace, side stepping the pizza boxes before its gate became a full run at him. The fur was thick and raised, the legs pulling forward made it bunch and stick out even more then it already was.
Jou was at the ready, hands gripping the warn wood like a lovers caress before he took aim. He swung as if the bases were loaded; bat swinging through the air with a swish and hitting absolutely nothing.
Strike three.
It darted to the side with speed only four legs could provide then ducking again on the back swing. It weaved in through the swing of the bat and fists finally sinking into something solid.
Jou screamed, bringing the bat down in a one handed swing and knocking the wolf clear across the crown of its skull with a jarring thud.
"FUCKING SHIT!"
Honda looked on wide eyed, his friend falling and the wolf shaking off the blow to only jump on Jou's chest to get bite at his friends face and only get a mouth full of wood.
Teeth crunched around the wood. Sinking into it as if it was butter and splintering it.
Was thing like some super wolf or something? Jou thought through his haze of panic, pushing the grip back into the jaws above him.
His leg was throbbing and he could feel the blood dripping down his shin and calf. Definitely need stitches, just another battle scar to add to the others if got out of this alive.
Jou shifted his weight, pushing the super wolf off him before it actually wittled its way through his last defense. The wolf took it in stride as it backed off a bit in a confident stride. Jou wasn't going anywhere with that leg and it knew it.
Glancing at the blonde Honda resolved himself. Fears be damned. So what if Jou had been in a gang? He was just as resilient and tuff, he could take on people twice his size this pooch was just his fears made flesh and he'd be damned if he let the thing hurt Jou anymore than it had.
He looked around frantically for something, anything! Trees, leaves, bushes, rocks… well that was an easy choice. He picked up a fist size rock as the wolf went back in for the kill and threw it like a pro smacking the wolf in the back of the head causing it to stumble and smack the ground.
Jou looked up with gratitude, limping as quickly as he could back over to his friend.
"You okay?"
"We'll deal with that later once I brain this thing."
"Speaking of the devil." Honda cringed back.
It looked pissed. Okay maybe that was an understatement. How about 'they won't be able to find your heads once I'm done with you' pissed. Honda guessed it didn't like that last cheap shot. He was so screwed.
Jou twisted off the end of the bat's handle that was pretty much chewed off as it was and gave the jagged piece of wood to his friend while he kept the other end.
He smirked as it growled back as it reentered the brawl.
Jou prided himself in how fair he was in a fight; no cheap shots, didn't fight women, or pick on kids, but he also prided himself on knowing when to 'bend' the rules.
Assuredly this was one of those times, and besides animals didn't count.
So taking the broken bat up in his hand he motioned to Honda to do the same knowing the brunette would pick up on the up take.
The wolf approached fiercely, its intelligent eyes clouded in its anger. Front legs hit the ground with the back legs soon to follow. Closing the gap in an alarming rate and then it was in the air, mouth wide for a bite and gut wrenching pain springing forth from both of its sides.
They both reeled from the force tumbling in a heap as the beast landed solidly on the blonds chest.
"………"
"…….."
"I think it's dead.."
"You think!? We just staked this sucker in both its sides. If it wasn't dead I'd start thinkin' it was one of those skinned candy land dogs from Silent Hill!"
And then all Honda could think was.
Dead wolf happy+++
He was ready for a jig and some victory music, now if only he could breath.
"Get off."
"I would but a 200 pound sack of meat happens to think my chest is a nice spot to take a nap." Jou glared over his shoulder as blood seeped through his clothes. This was just disgusting. "You mind giving me a hand?"
So they both pushed and off rolled the body. And oh look some intestines! Their life was complete, they could both die happy now. They could even make a lovely necklace with a matching purse, joy.
Honda gave Jou a hand up and helped him relieve some of the weight off his left leg. Slinging an arm over his shoulder and wrapping his arm around his friends waist before ushering them on into the night. He glanced back one more time to make sure it was dead.
"We didn't even get to eat half of those pizzas."
"Oh shut up."
They both made it back to the house with a few curses before Honda gently dumped his friend on the kitchen floor.
"Oww! Watch it, I'm injured!" Jou nearly ripped off his blood soaked T before it decided to congeal permanently to his chest, but apparently the cotton did little to stop the blood from soaking through to his skin.
"Let me see your leg. With the way that thing was gnawing at you I'm surprised it let you keep it." He looked on with concerned eyes as his friend promptly got rid of his pants with a drawn out hiss as they slid over the injury.
There was a lot of blood that much Honda could tell, but how much belonged to his friend he couldn't accurately tell. So with a gentle hand he swiped it over the shin and calf of Jou's left leg only managing to smear it.
Jou winced at the touch, craning his head to get a better view himself.
"To the bathroom it is. I'm so glad my mom isn't here she would of freaked." And Honda was pretty damn sure that in her freak out she'd manage to hurt the blonde more then be able to actually help him. Don't get his mother wrong. She was dependable, helpful, and down right able to fix most problems for the exception of when moderate amounts of blood came into play.
Then she screamed and screamed and screamed and usually fainted.
Getting his good leg under him Jou let himself be lifted to his feet while Honda braced him on their short journey to the bathroom.
Honda deposited the blond onto the toilet seat, moving towards the cabinets to get some old towels that hopefully wouldn't be missed.
"You don't think they'll need to amputate, do you?" Jou looked at his leg with concerned eyes, moving it this way and that to check the damage before putting it back in a relaxed position.
With a raised brow Honda dipped the old wash cloth under the running water before rinsing it off and kneeling by Jou's leg.
"If your leg needed any amputating I doubt you'd be moving it that much- if at all. Now hold still this might sting a bit" Honda swiped the cloth over the wound, careful to be gentle but firm enough to get the wound cleaned off.
Honda managed to get the good majority of the blood off and it seemed the half-mangled mass that he thought his friends' leg was going to be wasn't so bad after all. He could of sworn it was worse before, but he supposed all that blood just made it look that way.
"How is it?" Jou had leaned his head back, looking at the ceiling in preference to seeing what the thing from hell did to his leg. All he knew right now was his whole shin itched like the dickens and throbbed with every heart beat.
Honda gave a sad sigh,"It looks like I'm gonna have to get the hacksaw out."
"WHAT!?" Jou fell off the toilet seat in his outrage, scooting into a corner with wide eyes.
"eh heh heh…..just kidding"
"But seriously, I think we should get you down to the hopsital. Who knows what that thing could have had." He got the peroxide out from under the sink and sat in front of Jou again.
Jou shook his head. "I don't have any coverage from my work or from my dads. We're barely making it as it is and hospital bills…I don't think so."
He leaned back, his head making a dull thud on the bathroom tiles.
"Lets just see if it gets infected. I'd rather be sure somethin's wrong."
Honda nodded his head, slowly pouring the peroxide on the wound and letting it fizz. After cleaning the wound and wrapping it up Honda and Jou made their way to the second floor flopping on the bed and falling asleep at once.
To say that the awkwardness of it all was trivial would be a lie.
Putting it lightly Honda was in a very compromising position, comfortable yes, but he was sure his blonde headed friend would be less than thrilled to find both of their heads so close to each others crotches. Of course this thought was only secondary to the sigh of relief that his house was vacant, save the two of them.
He was certain his mom would be more than a little speechless…
So of course this brought up the problem itself, how to move without waking the blond? Shifting slightly to the edge of the bed Honda tried to tilt his hips in hopes that Jounouchi would slide off. This in theory would have worked if the movement hadn't made the blonde cling tighter to Honda's abdomen, rub his face into his dick and mumble, "But I've had enough sausages dad."
The problems always seemed to build up for him and Honda sighed in near defeat as his penis decided to wake up and say 'hello!'.
He would have banged his head against the wall if it were close enough.
Five minutes later he was much in the same predicament he was before for the exception of the slackness of his friends' arms around his waist. His little solider was of course still saluting proudly and he still wanted to bang his head forcefully against the wall.
'Why is it always me? I'm not perfect, but I definitely don't deserve this!'
Last ditch efforts were always his specialties so with the last remnants of his sanity and control (because seriously, if you had Jounouchi nuzzling your crotch wouldn't you want him to use that mouth of his for more than mumbling about sausages?!) Honda planted his feet on the floor and walked briskly to the bathroom as Jou squawked as he fell of the bed in the process.
Tangled in the sheets Jou tried to desperately untangle his legs, oblivious to his prior crotch nuzzling.
"Ass… you could of woken me up like normal people…" The blonde managed to get back to his feet only to flop back don on the mattress with a bounce, his hair splayed in every witch direction. He absent-mindedly scratched his stomach while eyeing the bathroom door and wondering why he had a hankering for some sausage.
"I really had to go." Honda yelled through the door as he fixed his 'problem'.
"Well, warn me before you decide to chuck me off the bed in your hurry, jeeze." Standing up and stretching the blond decided that breakfast was in order. Mrs. Honda always had an overstocked fridge so he was bound to find something good.
