A Change of Heart

Chapter 1

"Raven? Are you feeling alright?"

Raven could feel their confused eyes on her as she stared down at her hands with an ounce of disbelief in her normally stoic demeanor. Despite her best attempts, she could not summon up even a fraction of the powers that she had come to be known for. Her hands no longer lit up with dark magic even as she focused all of her energy, they just looked like normal, human hands.

"Raven, what's the matter?" Robin asked once more as he and the other Titans ran over to her.

They were standing in the middle of a destroyed street intersection, the aftermath of a hard-fought battle with Cinderblock. Cinderblock proved to be victorious by default, as the Titans had all but forgotten about Cinderblock the moment that they noticed something was wrong with Raven. But instead of pursuing the fleeing Titans, Cinderblock turned his tail and fled as well, leaving leveled buildings in his wake. Curious onlookers were watching the Titans closely and some were even applauding, thinking that they had driven Cinderblock away. If only they knew, for this situation was nothing to cheer about.

"My powers..." Raven whispered quietly under her breath. "They're gone."

"Gone?" Beast Boy yelled incredulously. "That can't happen...can it?"

Raven did not reply. She was still staring down at her hands, perhaps just as an excuse to not look at her friends. Dozens of frightening questions were passing through her thoughts, such as her future with the Titans. She had been worrying that this day would come for some time now, but she still had no answers for questions such as these.

"It's happening now, isn't it?" Cyborg shot back.

Beast Boy frowned and was about to retort but he was cut off. "Do you know why, Raven? Or how?" Robin asked quietly.

Raven lightly bit her lip. "No." She lied, after a moment or two of thought.

"Oh, Raven!" Starfire exclaimed as she flew to Raven's side and gave her a friendly hug. "Please, there must be something we can do! I do not wish to lose you."

"No there isn't..." Raven said quickly while she struggled to release herself from Starfire's grasp. "I mean, I don't know if there is...I just don't know.."

"But..?" Starfire protested, sensing Raven's apprehension, and tighten her grip.

"No!" Raven said forcefully. She finally emerged from Starfire's hold and took a few steps away. "Look, I need to go back to the tower and see if I can find out what's wrong with me. You all go follow Cinderblock and take him down."

"Raven, we are your friends." Beast Boy said quietly.

"We just want to help you." Robin added.

"You couldn't if you tried..." Raven muttered hopelessly under her breath, unheard by the rest of the Titans. She was very thankful that her hood was up, because she could feel her eyes beginning to well up, and that was something that she didn't want them to see. "Please, go find Cinderblock." She said quietly as she turned her back on them. "I'll feel guilty if he gets away."

The rest of the Titans watched her walk away. "Is it just me..." Cyborg said, once she was out of earshot. "Or does it seem like she is keeping something from us?"

"She keeps a lot of things from us." Beast Bow frowned.

"I hope she is alright." Starfire said quietly.

"Whatever it is, it'll have to wait." Robin said quietly, watching Raven disappear beyond the horizon. "We need to go catch Cinderblock before he gets away."

"Are you serious?" Cyborg exclaimed. "Robin, we may have just lost Raven for good and you're OK with that? We need to go help her and find out what's up."

"No!" Starfire cried. "No, Raven will not leave us! She-"

"...just lost all her powers, is feeling depressed and has always stuck to herself to begin with." Beast Boy finished for her. "You really don't think the thought of leaving us will cross her mind?"

"No." Robin replied. "She just needs some time to herself. She'll come around. Now come on, we've got a big chunk of rock to catch. Teen Titans, go!"


Raven sighed lightly as she continued to pace across her room. She had not expected any sort of revelation when she left her friends to come back here. In fact, anything more than just a few minutes to herself would be nothing short of a miracle. Nevertheless, this situation was growing difficult to bear, and a revelation was exactly what she needed.

However, she was already prepared for the worst. Everything that she needed to live on was already packed away, just in case a quiet escape was called for. In fact, she had already made the decision well beforehand to leave, if this day ever came. But she could not bring herself to do it. The problem that caused her to want to leave was the very reason that she could not.

Snapping out of her thoughts, Raven found herself walking to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, but she was unsure whether this was because she truly was thirsty or because she simply could not think of anything else to do. Never before had she felt truly lost before. It was as if she was in an endless hallway with a countless amount of doors, but each one of them was locked. And with each door that failed to open and reveal a path from her fantastical prison, she lost a little hope. Until she reached the stage she was in now, where she no longer had any hope left and truly believed that every door, every way out, was locked.

Raven again found herself lost in thought, and had to shake herself awake once more. She felt like she was in a dream, or perhaps, more accurately, a nightmare. Time seemingly drifted away, leaving her dazed and confused. She could only manage to record bits and pieces of the past couple of hours, the rest eluded her grasp.

Raven's slow pace came to a complete halt when she heard noises coming from down the hall, and, for a brief moment, began to fear for the tower's safety. She probably wouldn't be able to thwart an attack on the tower single-handedly even with her powers, let alone in her current state. But she soon found that she had nothing to fear, for the sound of Cyborg's booming voice resounded through the hall.

She did not want to meet up with them just yet, but Raven continued on nonetheless. By the time she had traveled the full length of the hall, it was quite obvious that the debate between the rest of the Titans was quite heated. Their raised voices were already more than understandable by the time she reached the closed door that led to their living room (of sorts); so much so that she need not even open the door to fully comprehend every word that was said, and the door was quite thick.

She felt apprehensive, but also oddly curious, as she opened the door. Fortunately enough, the Titans were so focused on each other that they failed to notice the slight creak of the door opening and closing, and Raven was able to pass, unnoticed, to the sink. The center of the heated argument seemed to stem from Beast Boy and Cyborg, who were passionately barking at each other as Starfire attempted to get in between them and calm them down. Robin simply watched, uninterested and impatient.

"My fault?" Beast Boy exclaimed, attempting to escape from Starfire's grasp. "You think that this is my fault?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?" Cyborg barked back, his arms folded and eyes shooting a glare at Beast Boy cold enough to freeze hell over.

"Well, next time, maybe you should just stay here then." Beast Boy shot back. "We'll do better without you getting in the way all the time!"

Raven tried to tune out the argument but it was becoming increasingly hard to do so. It seemed like a normal argument between two good friends, from what she was able to gather. They'll probably be laughing about it in a matter of an hour or two, but that fact made it no less irritating to bear with now.

Raven quietly opened up one of the drawers and pulled out a glass cup. She filled it to the brim with water from the tap and took a small sip. She had not given it much of a chance anyway, but with still no sudden insight, she decided to head back up to her room.

"I hope you've found more success than we have." Raven stopped in her tracks and quickly faced the voice. It was Robin; apparently her presence had not gone completely unnoticed. Beast Boy, Cyborg and Starfire were still in the midst of heated yelling, and seemed to be completely oblivious to the other two. All the same, she would have liked to go completely unseen.

Raven swallowed what little water she still had in her mouth and, a bit lost for breath, sputtered, "Afraid not."

Robin nodded lightly and gave a small, reassuring grin. "You'll find out what's wrong, I know you will." He said. "Take your time. We'll be able to take care of everything until you are ready to come back."

Raven did not reply and sheepishly looked down at her feet. "What's up with them?" She asked, both out of curiosity and to divert attention from herself.

Robin turned and glanced at the other three, who were just as much into each other's faces as they were before. He sighed lightly and explained, "We did not fare well after you left. We were able to track Cinderblock down but he was just too much for us. He completely dismantled us. Whatever he is up to, it must be important. I have never seen him fight so hard."

"But what happened between those two?" Raven asked with a frown, watching Beast Boy and Cyborg shove words down each other's throats.

"Frustration." Robin said simply. "They aren't used to taking beatings like that...we aren't used to it. Nothing actually happened between them, at least nothing to provoke something like this. I think they are just frustrated we lost."

"I see." Raven said with a small nod. "Well, I need to get back to my room."

"Raven, wait." Robin said suddenly, once again causing Raven to stop in her tracks. "Are you sure there is nothing that I can do to help?"

Raven tried to look into his eyes but found it hard to do so. His eyes were full of concern and sympathy, whereas hers housed nothing but deceit. So instead, she started talking to her feet, saying, "You don't know what's wrong with me, and if you did, you wouldn't understand. There is nothing you can do."

Robin frowned. "Then help me understand."

"Please, Robin..." Raven said lightly. "You know this better than anybody. I need to resolve this on my own."

"Alright, alright." Robin said quickly, backing off a bit. "Go on then, take all the time you need. But let me know if I can do anything, would you?"

Raven gave the slightest of nods, or perhaps her head just twitched lightly. In any case, she turned her back and walked back out through the door and disappeared from sight. Robin watched her leave so intently that he forgot about the loud fight that was going on no more than a couple feet from his exposed ears. And he was able to sustain that inner peace for a few minutes until the noise finally did overwhelm him and snap him from his thoughts.

Robin drew in every bit of air he could stuff into his lungs and roared, "Everybody just shut up!"

He never knew that he could yell that loud and, apparently, neither did the other three. Beast Boy, Cyborg and Starfire all stopped immediately and stared, either in fear or in awe, at their leader. "Look." Robin said quietly, now feeling slightly guilty for having startled his friends. "There is no sense in arguing like this, it will not do any good. Cinderblock got away, and that fact will not change. Beast Boy, Cyborg...you each did everything you could to stop him and that is all anyone can ever ask of you. There is still time to right this, though. So instead of wasting all your energy fighting each other, save it for the next time we fight Cinderblock. And I guarantee you there will be a next fight."

The resounding silence was a pleasant improvement over the violent shouting-match to Robin's ears, but the disagreement still lived on. Starfire looked positively relieved that she did not have to struggle to keep them apart any longer, but Beast Boy and Cyborg now made every attempt possible to pretend that the other did not exist. As they could no longer display their distaste through words, the hate now seemed to simply radiate off them.

Robin made a loud noise which could only be best described as an aggravated sigh and stepped past them to get to the computer. "Why don't you guys go take a break?" Robin said quietly. "Maybe some time apart would do you some good."

Both left without hesitation and without another word. Finally given the chance to breath, Robin took this opportunity to attempt to locate Cinderblock. His presence was suspicious enough, for he appeared in an area of the city that was largely unpopulated, and their was nothing much of value to steal nearby. Also, Slade had used Cinderblock before on a number of occasions, so Robin began to fear for the worst.

"Robin?"

"You can go take some time for yourself too, Star." Robin replied, his eyes still glued to the monitor.

"Raven.. Is she...?" Starfire asked, concern etched into her voice.

"She's about the same." Robin said quietly.

Silence ensued as Robin chose not to elaborate further. Indeed, he simply could not elaborate much further, for that was about all he knew. All the same, Robin continued to work and Starfire chose to stick around, presumably hoping for some sort of explanation. When none came, she asked, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No thanks, I think..."

Robin stopped talking mid-sentence as something suddenly occurred to him. He was growing frustrated with Raven for not allowing him to help her. But he almost turned around and did the same thing.

"You know, Star, I could you use your help."