-By the way in case you didn't know, I do not own Southpark. So don't sue me please. I...I'm not sure how exactly to feel about this fic. But please read anyways. and PLEASE review! Because i would like some constructive criticism" -

"I'm so fucking tired of Cartman making fun of me for being a jew!"

The smaller of the boys ran a hand through his frizzy curls before balling it into a tight fist at his side. In front of him stood his best friend, Stan Marsh, who seemed distressed from the situation.

"Dude. Chill out"

Stan pushed his blue hat out of his eyes before returning his attention to the panicking eight year old boy. Kyle was visibly upset, far more than he had ever seen him get over one of Cartman's stupid Jew jokes.

"Don't let that fatass get you worked up. If you let it get to you, then he wins."

He placed a hand on Kyle's shoulder and patted the orange material in an attempt to bring some comfort to him. Kyle slapped away his hand quickly and folded his arms into his chest.

"Stop treating me like a fucking baby, Stan!"

Stan withdrew his hand into his lap and frowned. He hadn't meant to insult Kyle at all; he just wanted to be some bit of help. The kid became a completely different person when he was infuriated. His red hair seemed to become twice as red and his usually soft features furrowed tightly, giving the first indication that he should be left alone. Stan refused to do this, however, and continued to stand directly in front of him, eyeing this aggressive stance with concern.

"I'm not, dude."

This angered Kyle further, and he squeezed his fingers so tightly into a fist that his knuckles made a loud cracking sound. The darker haired boy's eyes widened a bit in surprise, and then he sighed in mild frustration and sat down on his bed. I wish he would just talk to me about it. He thought bitterly and absentmindedly began tracing patterns with his pointer finger on the Terrence and Phillip sheets that covered his bed.

After what felt like hours later, Kyle took a deep breath through his nose and bent his lips into a scowl, clearing his throat.

"He needs the crap beaten out of him. That's what he needs. We need to make him know that we won't put up with his crap anymore."

Stan Marsh peered up in interest from under his hat, and then returned his attention to his bed sheets. Eric Cartman was an asshole, no doubt about that, but trying to beat him up wouldn't fix anything. Kyle was just irrational.

"Kyle, you just need to let out some of your pent up emotion."

He rolled his eyes and then rested them on the Jewish boy in front of him who was glowing with anger. Holy shit dude. He looks pissed off.. He swallowed the lump that was growing in his throat, looking away quickly so he didn't let on to the fact that his best friend was actually beginning to scare him.

"Emotions! Emotions are what give little faggots like Cartman the satisfaction they want! Emotions are for the weak, Stan. Grow up!"

He had done it now. Kyle was royally ticked off. Stan bit the inside of his lip and stared past him and at the wooden door that trapped them in his room. He wished he wasn't here right now. He wished his best friend wasn't filled with so much rage that he was pacing across the messy floor quickly. And he wished that he had the courage to do something about the situation. At that moment Stan hated Cartman for constantly picking on Kyle. He also hated Kyle for being so angry and for yelling at him, and he hated the people who didn't stop Cartman. But more than Anything he hated himself for doing absolutely nothing.

"um…well you shouldn't show emotions near cartman. That gives him too much power. But you should let out emotion when you know it's safe. Because it will bottle up and things will get really bad."

Kyle turned to stare at him with a wild look in his eyes. And then twisted his lips into a scowl.

"Fine. Let's all just talk about our feelings, Stan. That's a great fucking Idea. Let's have a faggot tea party and all wear fucking dresses! Fan-fucking-tastic!"

His sarcasm stung Stan like a punch and he winced at the way his friend spat the last words.

"God. You're so stupid!"

That was it. Stan knew Kyle was angry, but he was done being yelled at. He stood up and stepped over to where the red haired boy was standing. Once they were eye level, he jabbed a finger in his chest.

"Listen Broflovski, Just because Cartman treats you like shit doesn't mean you can treat me like that. All I said is that you should let out all your pent up anger before you do something stupid. So I'd recommend you do that before you tick me off enough to do something even dumber."

He raised his fist up to reveal a threatening gesture. Kyle looked shocked, and then his expression returned to one of anger. Before Stan had any chance to say another thing, he felt the breath knocked out of him as he fell past the bed and landed back first on the carpet. He braced himself for the blows that rained down on his chest and then dodged an elbow to the ribs.

"Gedoff"

Was all that he was able to gasp before landing a few well aimed blows on the others jaw. Stan felt himself pinned down to the carpet and although he struggled to get up, the boy on top of him had him in a death grip. Kyle then dug his fingers into the boy beneath him's arms and then roughly pressed his mouth to Stan's.

Stan's eyes opened as wide as possible while Kyle shut his tightly and angrily began to smash his face into the poor boy's.

Stan was angry and confused. A tear of humiliation rolled down his cheek as he stared off into a sea of red curls helplessly. The kiss was sloppy and bone crushing, causing him to wince as Kyle roughly jammed his tongue in his mouth and rolled it around. Why is he doing this to me? Stan frantically thought. He closed his eyes so tightly until they hurt and he wished he was somewhere else. Anywhere else. He thought of blue skies and azul oceans and sandy beaches…

Kyle continued to assult his mouth and grab his arms painfully until he knew there would be purple marks and bleeding. He breathed labored breaths out of his nose and tried to think of somewhere else….rainbows. Beautiful jungles, and green grass.

Eventually harsh kisses turned softer and Kyle loosened his grip on Stan's arms as he began to regret doing this to his friend. His left hand traveled up to uncertainly cup the others flushed face, planting apologetic kisses on his swollen lips. Stan Marsh wanted to run away or push him off and scream "What the fuck?" But no matter how much he wanted to demand an explanation, he remained frozen under the red haired boy without any answers. And It was at this moment where Stan Marsh hated himself more than anyone on the whole entire planet.

Once Kyle drew back from the kiss slowly and looked down at the boy beneath him, he wasn't sure how to feel. Stan still had his eyes shut tightly, and only once Kyle climbed off of him did he open them and turn to meet the eyes of his best friend.

Silence encased them as they both stared in each others eyes. Time seemed to freeze. The dark haired boy straightened the hat that sat crooked atop his mussed up bangs and sat up. And then he punched Kyle Broflovski hard in the face.

Kyle flew back at the impact and crumpled onto the carpet, not bothering to question why he was decked.

"You. Are. The. Biggest. Asshole. I. Have. EVER. Met."

Were the words that were spat at him as he felt a warm sensation drip from his nose and seep through the fingers that were clutching it in pain.

"I may be weak. And I may not always know what to say when you are upset. But I did NOT deserve that."

I'm sorry wouldn't cut it; not even close. And Kyle fully knew that. He had taken advantage of his friend for his own twisted gain, and done damage beyond what seemed fixable.

"Dude…I'm so sorry.."

Bitter laughter could be heard echoing throughout the small bedroom and Kyle could see a sarcastic sneer through his red stained hands.

"You're sorry? Like hell you are. Can you believe that I actually liked you?"

His expression darkened to one of disappointment and he shook his head to himself.

"There's something you can make fun of me for. I liked you. You were my best friend, and I thought that I was in love with you; But I was wrong. I HATE you Kyle Broflovski!"

Kyle exhaled calmly and accepted the insults that he absolutely deserved. He had never known that his best friend had ever had feelings for him, and he knew that he had blown it.

"look Stan…"

"No YOU look you fucking bastard!"

His voice rang throughout the empty house.

" I haven't smiled my real smile for years.I've always had one smile for my family, one different smile for my friends, one for school… It's always been a fucking fake mask so that I can please everyone else. But you never noticed. You never fucking cared. I'm done pleasing everyone else…I'm done with everything. I don't have anything to loose anymore. "

At the last sentence, his voice cracked and he began to sob uncontrollably. Try as he did to upkeep the angriness, all he felt was emptiness. He buried his head in his pillow and cried like a baby into it until the white fabric had been colored darker with tears. Kyle felt like a grade A asshole. He felt like he had ruined his friend who he cared so much about. And he was being torn up with guilt for it.

At that moment, he picked himself up and wiped his bloody hands on his jeans before walking over to the bed and sitting down beside Stan. He felt like a puppy who had done something bad and was about to get scolded by his master, but all he received were muffled sobs

"..go away.."

Was the response that broke his heart along with the noises of utter brokenness that came from Stan. He courageously placed an arm around the shaking boy and rubbed his shoulder slightly, surprised when he was not violently pushed away.

"Stan..I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you.."

He paused and frantically searched for something else to say.

"you're my best friend. And I love you for who you are.I was just so angry at Cartman that it overtook me. But please just smile… I just want to see you happy. "

No response came from Stan except a sniffle that indicated he was listening. Kyle sighed and ran his fingers nervously through his hair.

" Please forgive me, Stan. I love you.."

Stan sniffed again and looked up from his pillow. He was never one to hold grudges, and although he despised his friend for abusing him like that, he knew that his friend was sorry and somehow things would be okay. He wasn't ready to forget what happened, but he was willing to fogive him for it.

"I…Forgive you."

He muttered shakily and blinked away more tears that threatened to spill. They had both been through more together than they could possibly imagine, and things always turned out okay. No matter what life handed them, they would always be friends. Nothing had separated them before, and both boys knew nothing would now. Kyle reached over and interlocked his fingers with Stan's. The teary boy looked down at the hand squeezing his own and gave a weak squeeze back.

"I think we could both use a some ice cream.."

Stan Marsh tore his gaze from both of their hands up to the face of his best friend. Red hair fell lazily around his face and framed his features that showed an expression of sincerity. He knew that even though he was an asshole sometimes, he was a good person. He no longer hated Kyle, and he didn't hate himself.

Stan looked back down at their intertwined fingers and the end of his lips curved upward into a smile. It was a tiny smile, hardly noticeable at first glance. But it wasn't the fake smile he wore during classes, or when his parents asked him how his day was. . It may have been a small, but it was his true smile.