Xander frowned at the box for a moment then leaned over and pulled it towards his chair. Across the top were scrawled the words 'To my son if I should die' in his mother's handwriting – he traced the words with a finger, wondering if she'd known from the beginning that one day Tony would end up killing her.

And he had. Three days ago in a drunken rage, Tony had shot his mother in the head then had tried to shoot himself when the police had come in response to a call about the earlier gunshot. He ended up shooting off part of his jaw when he tried to kill himself. Hence why the police were calling it simple dumb luck that he'd managed to shoot Jessica Harris in the head.

They'd called him when he was on the way to pick up a new Slayer in Iowa so he'd had to call and say he couldn't do it. Send someone else to pick up the girl – I've got other business. He'd hung up on the chit of a girl that answered the phones and thought she was better than anyone. It was sad. Since he'd been pulled out of the field against his will and made the simple pick-up-and-bring-back man without being able to talk to most of the Slayer's, they had all gone to hell. The one's he'd found and trained in Africa were still doing well and fine – they called him from time to time to say 'hi'. Good girls.

The new Slayer's that had been coming out of training since Buffy had decided to come back…now they weren't too good. Reminded him way too much of how she'd been that last year in Sunnydale, which was not the way for a Slayer to be acting even if they were in charge of the one group that would stop the end of the world.

Heh, he was probably going to get a phone call soon and get chewed out by Buffy over this. He'd just tell her to fuck off – other business had come up and if she thought she could order him around like some puppet again, he quit.

Yeah, just like that.

Xander smiled bitterly then looked down at the box again, trying desperately to figure out what was inside. Just what had his mother wanted him to have if she died?

Well, only way to know was to look.

Pulling a pocketknife out of his pants pocket, he slid it across the packing tape holding the box flaps shut then set it on the table next to him. Carefully opening it, he reached in and picked up the folded piece of paper on top.

And in a grimy hotel room in the backwater town Tony had moved his mother to years ago, he found out he actually had some worthwhile family left alive.

I had a brother once: Malcolm. He was a good man – you would have liked him, I think, Alex. I lost track of him, sadly, and never saw him after my sixteenth birthday. He was twelve years older than me and went off then to start his wandering – he was a stage magician and a pretty good one, though they're not appreciated these days. But it was what he wanted to do and he did it. I got one letter from him during those years, forwarded to me from our parents, just after he got married. After that…nothing.

He died two years before you were born. A brain aneurism they told me when they called – it took them five years to find me. I don't believe what they told me; just don't believe that that was how he died. Why I have no idea but I do.

I was angry to also find out that my brother's son had been adopted and there was no way that I could get him. They had lost track of the man who had adopted him – he just disappeared without a trace.

Xander paused in the reading and frowned. Just disappeared? That sounded like something Willow had told him about, some event that had occurred a few years back. A whole city disappearing, was it? Eh, he couldn't remember.

Though now he was confused, mildly distraught, and curious. He'd had an uncle – a good man from his mother's words – who had died, killed if he believed his mother's feeling. And a cousin.

A cousin lost somewhere in the wide world.

Flicking his eye back down, he continued reading. Maybe his mother had found him…

I do at least know the boy's name – managed to get that out of the woman that called me. With that, I tried to track him down over the years to no avail. I had begun to give up hope for a little while.

Then I found him. It was like he appeared out of nowhere.

He's in Chicago, Alex. I know I'll never make it there and see him but…I want you to. Your father's family, I know, never gave you a good impression of anything. And I know I wasn't able to do so with him there. But trust me, my brother would raise a good son, even if he didn't get to do so entirely. I know that he'll be a good man.

Go find him. His name is Harry Dresden.

Tell him I'm sorry I never met him.

And forgive me, Alex. I was never a good mother.

Love, Mom

Xander wiped a tear from his eye at that last bit of the letter. He shook his head as he sat in the grimy hotel chair and growled, "No, Mom, you were good. I know that for whatever I got from Tony, you got double for trying to protect me."

Looking down at the letter again, he got up and went over to the bed to sit by the nightstand. Picking up the phone, he called the one person he knew that could make sure his cousin was still where his mom said he was.

"Hey, Wills," he said as she picked up. "Yeah, I'm alright. I'm in Mississippi right now. Mom died. Tony killed her and he's going to rot in jail for it."

There was the sound of a sob from the other end of the line and he breathed, "Don't break down on me, Wills. Mom left me some stuff and wanted me to do something for her."

"I have a cousin. Probably in Chicago from what Mom said but he might've moved. Yeah. I just want a scrying spell to know if he's there – I can find him otherwise. Think you can do it with just a name?"

He snorted at the outrage from the other end.

"Figured you could, Wills. His name is Harry Dresden, alright? Call me on my cell when you get something. The funeral is tomorrow and I'll probably pack up and start heading Chicago-way right after that."

Xander frowned as Willow said something very quickly in her trademarked babble. He closed his eye as he replied, "Tell Buffy that if she's going to order me around and keep dishing out Slayer's that don't give a damn about anything, I quit. Most especially if she's ordering all of mine to no longer have any contact with me. I won't just stand behind her like a loyal puppy if she's going to turn the Slayer's into her General Bitchiness. Stood for it once, Wills. I'm not going to do it again."

"Hunt me down? HA! That's laughable. Remember, I keep a gun, Wills. Unlike Buffy, I'm not stuck back in the medieval ages entirely."

Xander smiled then added, "You take care of yourself, Wills. Get together with Giles and try to get at those girls from under the radar – mini General Buffy's isn't what the world needs. Or if all else fails, get Faith and have a coup. Though she might start it so…"

He blinked then before laughing.

"Faith'll be fine without me there. I'm in love with her, Wills, not her keeper. She's as fed up with the return of General Buffy as I am."

"Yes, I'll be careful. Don't worry. Love you and give my love to Faith and Dawnie. And my Slayer's if you see them. 'Bye."

Xander hung up the phone and looked back down at the letter in his hand, skimming over the lines again. He then lifted his head and stared out the grimy window of the hotel room at the darkening sky.

"Real family…it'll be a treat to meet 'em."