It took five, ten, fifteen years before Peeta finally convinced me to have kids. Now, watching the girl with my dark seam hair and his eyes dancing next to the small toddler boy with Peeta's hair and my eyes, I ran a hand over my swollen belly.
Carrying her had been terrifying and only holding her in my arms had assuaged my fears. He had been easier. This third time had barely caused any panic and I was excited to finally meet this baby; to know my little girl or boy and call them by their name. Like the others, this baby would have to wait until I held them in my arms before either of us would know its name.
I remember that first time, after giving birth to our dark haired beauty, how Peeta held out his hand to touch her soft downy hair. He was so afraid of hurting her that it was the gentlest touch and he asked, "What should we call her?"
I had thought about calling her Primrose or Rue, but looking into her eyes I couldn't bring myself to put that curse upon my daughter. Not because I thought she would end up like them, but because I didn't want her to think that every time I called out to her that I was thinking of my sister and friend. It wouldn't be fair to her.
"Violet," I answered. "Violet Zinnia Mellark," I told my husband.
Grasping my hand, he tore his gaze away from his daughter with a question on his lips. "I thought you wanted Primrose or Rue." We had wanted to honor those we had lost.
"Violet is a flower that means many different things depending on the shade. If it's white it means 'Let's take a chance,' which we certainly have; blue means love and faithfulness. That's what I promise her, to love and be faithful to her. I won't ever leave her like my mother left me," I explained.
"And Zinnia?"
I kissed her head as she yawned and tried to stretch although she was swaddled. "Zinnia means to think of absent friends. So that we're still honoring those we lost. I just couldn't do that to her; name her after one of them and have to tell her later how I named her after people I can't bring back."
She's ten now. It took five years for Peeta to talk me into taking a risk and having a child. After she was born I would watch her all the time, in wonder and in fear. I wouldn't even think of having another child until she was almost five. It took a year before we became pregnant again.
He's almost four, my little Archer. Peeta named him, and though I wanted to name him something for Peeta, we agreed the name we had previously chosen was not the right name for my boy. I looked into his eyes and then smiled back at Peeta quickly before I asked, "Is your name Archer Niklaus Mellark? Is it?" He closed his eyes and his grasp on my finger tightened. I took that as a yes.
The baby kicked against my hand and I looked away from my children to smile. I felt Peeta's arms wrap around me. It had taken us years to get to this point.
The flashbacks were rare and the children were always shielded from them. Archer didn't suspect anything, he was too young. Violet knew that Daddy got quiet and just needed time alone to think. She watched through curious eyes as I ushered her away from the scene but was a good big sister and always kept Archer busy.
The nightmares, though easing in frequency somewhat, never really went away. The only thing that had helped was the presence of our children, who entered our dreams on good nights and kept the nightmares at bay.
"How are you feeling," he asked.
"Well, when you consider the extra weight I'm carrying, the swelling, the heat—"
"Alright," he laughed and rubbed my belly, "I'll know better than to ask again. I just wish she would come already."
"And what makes you so sure the baby is a girl?"
"Violet is almost full grown," Peeta said looking at our ten year old, dancing in the meadow. "She'll always be my little girl, but a man needs to have a little girl to bounce on his knee and look up to him."
"Oh," Katniss said theatrically, "so you want another woman to worship you."
"Basically," the blond chuckled. Resting his head on her crown, he watched the children dancing when Katniss jerked forward.
"Katniss, are you alright," he scrambled to kneel in front of her.
"Get the kids," she winced. "Get me home, and get the healer. I'm in labor."
"Get this thing out of me," Katniss yelled while crushing Peeta's hand.
"It's only been four hours since your labor began," the healer reminded her. "Your water hasn't even broken yet; it could be hours before we see this baby."
"There's got to be something you can do," Peeta pleaded.
"I can induce by breaking her water for her, but she's barely dilated. I would have to put a foley ball in to stretch the cervix wall but it will be extremely uncomfortable for her."
"Get it out," the woman cried. "I can't do this anymore."
The healer looked through her bag before moving to Katniss's bed and examining her again. "You're going to feel a pressure; I'm breaking your water now," the gray haired woman told her. "There. You're going to have to get up so we can change the sheets. Peeta, take her for a walk, up and down the hallway. That should help get labor progressing. If it doesn't I will have to use the foley ball."
"Why is it taking so long," Katniss whimpered. "The other two were so easy."
"You kicked me in the face," Peeta reminded her. "I would hardly call Violet's birth easy."
"You threw a vase at my head when you were having Archer," the healer added. "Mothers always forget how hard childbirth is. If they didn't, no one would ever have siblings."
"Please, check me. I need to push."
The healer lifted the sheet and examined her. "I think we can start pushing now. Hopefully this baby will be here within the next hour."
Katniss began pushing, though she felt so weak. It seemed to go on forever when all of a sudden Peeta was yelling that he could see the head.
"Well," the healer said, "there's a redhead in the Mellark family. Who would have ever thought we would see the day?"
Katniss giggled nervously as she held her hands out for her baby. "It's a girl. Peeta, you were right. Look at that hair."
"What are we going to call her?"
"Poppy," she answered. "Poppy Adelaide Mell—ahh," she clutched the crying baby to her chest.
"It's probably just the placenta," the healer said. "Often times it is more unpleasant than the birth. Let me take Poppy. I'll clean her up in the bathroom and be right back."
"I told you it would be a little girl," Peeta chuckled. "It's almost over," he said and the healer came back, handing him Poppy.
"Alright, let's see if the placenta is almost out," the healer said and examined Katniss. "Well, I didn't expect this."
"What is it," the mother screamed. The pain was agonizing.
"I'm afraid there's another baby in there. You're having twins, get ready to push again."
"I can't have twins, no one said anything about twins," she yelled and began to push.
Violet held Poppy, rocking her back and forth while Archer sat in bed with Katniss. The labor was over and she was excited to be a big sister.
"I'm never doing this again," Katniss said and swept blond hair out of her son's eyes.
Peeta was staring into his youngest daughter's eyes. "Two for the price of one," he said. "I told you that we should have let the healer do the sonogram. Next time we'll know better."
"There's not going to be a next time," she reminded him. He just smiled.
"What's her name," Violet asked. "You haven't chosen yet; she needs a name."
Getting up, Peeta brought the newborn to his wife so she could examine her. Like her twin, she was a redhead but where Poppy's hair was the same shade of a poppy flower, hers was more like the soft orange of sunset; her husband's favorite color.
Katniss rocked her child and smiled. "Her name is Dandelion," she said and looked at Peeta. "What should her middle name be?"
"Blaze," Peeta looked into Katniss's eyes. "Dandelion Blaze Mellark."
Archer reached his chubby little toddler hand out to touch her hair. "I like my sisters," everyone chuckled at his announcement. "Can I have a brother next?"
"No," Katniss said at the same time Peeta said, "Yes."
"We're not having any more. Four is enough," Katniss put her foot down.
"Every boy needs a brother," Peeta argued, "especially since there are so many women afoot here."
"Well this should be interesting," Violet laughed.
