Maternal Instinct
Ch.1: Lullaby
Andrea awoke first.
She glanced at Rick, who slept on, regardless of the loud cries of his daughter in the next room. Rolling her eyes, she tossed back the quilt and grabbed Ricks shirt, slipping it over, to cover her modesty, and tip-toed out of the room. Rick didn't stir.
"Hey, baby." She whispered, as she walked into Judith's room. "Whats up, Jiji?" She used the nickname they'd given the girl, because Judith was simply too grown up for such a little person.
The little girls big, brown eyes were filled with tears and her bottom lip wobbled as she looked up at Andrea. She raised her arms and Andrea untucked the covers from around her, lifting the baby up. Immediately, Judith nuzzled into her neck, into the curved space that she fit into just right, and her crying quietened, turning to a soft whimpering. Andrea felt a few stray tears slide onto her neck as the child finally settled down.
Andrea paced the room, rhythmically patting the babys back and humming soothingly. She wasn't cold and she'd had a diaper change not an hour earlier, she couldn't be hungry (they'd weaned her off night feeds as early as possible) and there had been no noise to wake her, that Andrea had heard. The child was simply unsettled.
She squirmed in Andreas arm and Andrea shifted the child so that her cheek lay against her shoulder. This change in position seemed to soothe her further and she settled, her lips forming a perfectly round 'o'. Andrea reached into the crib, slipping the childs dummy into her mouth as her hand came up to lightly grip a strand of her blonde hair.
Andreas heart fluttered as the babys tiny fingers curled around her curl and she smiled down, lightly holding the babys hand with one of hers, running her thumb over the babys fingers. She started to quietly sing a lullaby her mother had sung to her as a child.
"Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played each summers day
Warriors both of cause
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horses head
Wept for his toy, then cried with joy
As his young playmate said
Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here, Jack and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both be soliders
And our horses will not be toys
Do you think that we'll remember,
Two little boys?"
The last note hung in the air and one little tear dropped onto the babys face. Andrea tilted her head bac, attempting to dispel the few tears which had pooled in her eyes, and blinked. The song brought back so many memories for her. Even when she was little, it would leave a lump in her throat and tears in her eyes. Now, the pain brought on by the song was soothed only by the warmth emmitted by the tiny person in her arms and then way she could feel Judiths heart beat stubbornly in her chest, incessant even in this godforsaken world.
"Andrea?" Ricks sleepy voice came from the doorway and she turned, his shirt flapping around her legs. She put a finger to her lips, indicating the sleeping baby held close by her other arm and he smiled. "You're so good with her."
"I'm no better than anyone else is," She whispered, slipping the baby back into her crib, smiling down at her sleeping form. She tucked the blankets around the baby and then tucked her own hair behind her ear, crouching down and leaning her head on her arms.
"You are." Rick disagreed, quietly, walking over and putting his hands on her shoulders. "She's gonna need a mother, Andrea."
She froze up at his words and his hands gently rubbed her shoulders, feeling the tension in her muscles. "Andrea?"
"I...She has Carol. And Beth. Maggie?" She replied, feebly.
She'd give anything to be this little girls mother. From the first time she felt Judiths tiny heartbeat against her own, she'd fallen head over heels and the baby held her heart in her hands as easily as she'd held her hair. The truth was, though, Andrea already felt like she was sleeping in Lori's grave.
She was sleeping with her husband, at least.
"Andrea." Rick said, reaching into the babys crib. He pulled out the sole stuffed bear which resided there and held it up in front of her. It was a little pink thing, a square of silken fabric attatched to its hand, like a security blanket. Emblazoned across its chest were the words 'baby girl'. "You risked your life because you wanted her to have something that every child has. A bear. Who, but a mother, would do that?"
"But Lori-"
"Is not here anymore." Rick grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the room and holding her arms. "Andrea, I'm not saying we don't tell her about Lori, one day. I'm saying she needs a mother now. And I've seen how she is with you just as much as I see how you are with her. She'd rather go to you than to me, most days." He said it with a slight smile on his lips so she knew he took it kind heartedly.
She smiled back.
