This might be a touchy subject to some people...
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Kate looked like she was dying. She hadnt slept in at least 2 days and it was finally catching up with her. Her eyes were puffy and had large dark circles under them, and she could barely think straight. She didnt know what to do, its not that she didnt want to sleep...she couldnt. As soon as she closed her eyes she saw the others, she couldnt get out of her head how they captured them and potentially hurt Jack. They had returned from the others camp around a week ago, with the help of Alex-- but things between her and Jack had changed. Jack knew about what she did with Sawyer and that haunted her the most. They barely interacted except for an occasional glance or "hi, how are you" and it was killing her. After she realized what she did with Sawyer was a mistake, she cleared things with him...surprisingly he took it very well. the most he had to say about it was "Eh dont sweat it Freckles, i always knew you were the Doc's" and then he just up and left. Kate sighed, it was too late now though...Jack would probably never forgive her. She realized she had been standing in front of the cave entrance for a while now and finally took a deep breath while walking in.
She saw Jack hunched over his medical cart taking inventory of what was left. Kate was immediatly greeted by Charlie.
"Kate! Nice of you to join us, what are you here for?" Charlie said cheerfully.
As soon as Jack heard Kate's name, he whipped around and glanced at her for a couple seconds before resuming his work.
"Uhm, I...I'm here to bring water down to the beach" She said her voice raspy
"Well I'll help...You look like Hell by the way" He said offhandedly
It was obvoius Jack was listening, and when he heard Charlie say she looked like Hell he turned around and looked at her himself. He noticed how she was slouching when she walked, like she was going to collapse any minute, and he could see the tiredness written all over her face. She looked like she hadnt slept in days. Jack sighed, swallowed his pride and walked over to where they were filling water.
"Kate?" Jack said with no emotion in his voice
Kate looked up surprised Jack had even come within a ten foot radius of her. "Yeah?" She said quietly, suddenly feeling small
"Are you okay?" He asked
Kate suddenly felt dizzy, she couldnt think. She recovered within a few minutes and managed to say " yes"
Jack sighed and nodded "Okay, you know where to find me if anything changes" He said before walking back to his area
Kate was relieved when Jack walked away, she couldnt think with his close proximity. they finished filling up the bottles, but when Kate went to get up she swayed little and all of a sudden collapsed on the ground.
Charlie managed to catch her before she hit the ground and yelled for Jack.
Jack was there in seconds, "what happened?" He asked as he took Kate from Charlies arms. But as soon as he did Kate began thrashing out at him
"noo! NO! I want Jack...Jack...Jack I want Jack." She said loudly then more quietly "Please...I want Jack" She kept repeating as tears poured down her face.
Jack was so confused but didnt have time to think "Kate? Kate...Shhh Its me" He said in a soothing voice. He was still angry with her for what she did with Sawyer, but nonetheless he cared for her immensly...and he couldnt help but feel a tug at his heart at her words.
Kate continued like she hadnt heard him "Jack! Please just let me see him! Please dont do this to me...Jack!" she kept screaming
Jack picked her up and set her in his lap like a small child. He put her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and held her there while whispering "Kate...Kate listen to me. Its me Jack, No one's going to hurt you okay? Shhh Just please calm down, you're scaring me...Shhhh Relax" He said gently
Kate seemed to respond to this and stopped her struggling. "Jack?" She said weakly
"Yeah Kate, Its me Jack...Just relax, you're okay" he said softly
"Jack please...dont let them take me...they'll hurt me again please...it hurts" She said as she began sobbing into his shoulder
Jacks heart broke at this. They hurt her?! He quickly snapped out of it and held Kate tighter "Shhh Kate. Were not at their camp anymore. We're at the caves now okay? No one can get you here...The others arnt here anymore." He explained to her
All of a sudden Kate broke out of her craze and dislodged herself from Jack. She looked around and slowly walked to a corner of the caves and sat down, bringing her knees to her chest and hid her face as she sobbed. Jack was a little surprised at her movement but allowed her some space. After a few minutes it didnt seem like her sobs were dying down. He walked over and crouched down in front of her.
"Kate?" he whispered
As soon as Kate heard how close he was she whimpered and pressed herself further into the cave wall.
Jack soon realized what was going on a cursed under his breath. Obviously not quietly enough because kate heard and sobbed louder.
Jack backed up a couple steps and talked to her in a calm and soothing voice. "Kate honey, You're all right now okay? I'm not going to hurt you. The others" he paused when he heard her whimper at the mentioning of the others and continued "they're not here, they cant get you. there's no one else here, its just me, Jack. Do you think you can walk to the bed?" He asked hoping to get her off the ground
Kate thought for a moment and then nodded. She slowly got up and walked over to the makeshift cot and sat down.
"Kate, do you think it'd be okay if i sat with you?" he asked not wanting to push her
Kate nodded and as soon as Jack sat down she jumped into his lap like her previous position, legs aorund his waist and arms around his neck.
Jack jumped a little at the contact but wrapped his arms around her too. Just then Charlie came into the caves.
"Hey Jack, is she okay?" he asked
Kate let out a shriek when she heard Charlie's voice and clung to Jack tighter.
"She's fine charlie, Look can you make sure no one comes in here for a while? She's kind of been through a lot" Jack said hinting at what he meant.
Charlie came into realization and quickly nodded and left.
"Kate? Hey, its okay. No ones going to come in here anymore okay? Its just you and me" He said gently
"Jack?" Kate whimpered "it hurt. So bad Jack...I tried...i did, but i i ..i couldnt stop them." She said while tears ran down her face
"what happened Kate?" Jack asked softly
"There were so many of them...I...I just I'm sorry" She whimpered
"Sorry? For what?" He asked confused
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry for Sawyer, They kept saying I wasnt good enough jack...and maybe I'm not but i was afraid you would think I was disgusting after what they did to me. they kept telling me you wouldnt want me...I'm sorry. Please Jack I need you in my life, even if its just as a friend...please? I cant..I cant live without you. I know you'll never forgive me for Sawyer but I need you as a friend." She cried
"Oh baby...why would you think that? Dont you dare justify what they did to you, its not your fault okay?" he said gently "Dont put yourself down like that either okay? You'll always be good enough. You're not disgusting, It wasnt your fault. No one blames you okay? And I'll always be your friend, whenever you need me. I just dont think i can be just friends with you. The reason i've been distant lately is because it hurt Kate, it hurt to see you with Sawyer...I will always be there for you. dont ever be afraid to come to me...I forgave you for Sawyer a long time ago Kate, but i just couldnt bear to see you with him" he finished tears running down his own face
"Jack? You dont think i'm dirty? you still want me even after everything they did to me? after...they raped me" she whimpered
"I'll always want you, and you're not dirty okay? You may feel like it now, and im not going to say what happened wont change your life...it will. but i'll be there every step of the way to help you, but lets take this slow okay? lets figure this out first" he finished
Kate nodded and looked up at him
Jack grimaced at what he saw when he looked up, kate looked like she would pass out any second.
"Kate? When's the last time you slept?" he asked mentally kicking himself for how stupid that quesiton was
"I cant sleep...whenever i close my eyes i cant..i just i feel them" she whispered
"okay..its okay. sorry stupid question" he said
After a few minutes Jack spoke up "Kate? Did they hurt you anywhere else? Do you feel any pain? Please tell me.." he pleaded
Her silence gave him his answer.
"Please sweetheart" he tried. The sign of endearment caught her off guard and she looked up at him with watery eyes. He looked down at her and wiped away the stray tears that spilled over.
"uhm...my legs hurt...i'm sore all over, but my back, it hurts so bad" she whispered
"can i take a look?" jack asked carefully "I can get sun to if you're more comfortable that way" he added
Kate shook her head "no its okay...i trust you Jack."
Jack smiled and nodded "okay" he whispered "you want to start with your back?" he asked "whatever's more comfortable for you"
Kate nodded and slowly layed down so she was on her stomach and slowly pried off her shirt. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall when he heard Jack gasp. 'this was it' she thought...'hes going to think im disgusting and leave me...i dont deserve him anyway' she thought burying her head in the makeshift bed.
What jack saw horrified him, She had needle marks all over her upper back and on her lower back...it looked like she was branded? A few tears escaped his eyes as he looked over her.
"kate? i'm just going to see if anything is infected okay? if you feel uncomfortable in any way, tell me and i'll stop okay?" he said, his voice catching slightly
Kate nodded and Jack proceded to place his hands on her back. Kate twitched and Jack stalled his movements "you okay?" he asked gently
"yeah" Kate whispered "Sorry"
"nothing to be sorry for sweetheart" he said
Jack worked his hands over her back and made sure nothing was broken or infected. As his hands came to her lower back he could tell she was starting to get uncomfortable.
"Kate? "He tried to placate her "Its okay, I'm not going to touch it okay? want to tell me how this happened?" he asked as he felt the skin around it
"They said...they...they were going to hurt you if i didnt let them try some of their expiraments on me. They carved that...thing into my back because I wouldnt stop yelling for you when they...they..." she trailed off.
Jack began crying again..."Kate..." he cried "Oh baby i'm sorry..." he kept saying
"Jack?" kate whispered "its okay..." she said to him
Jack collected himself and began to walk away when Kate clutched onto his bicep. "where, where are you going jack" she whispered afraid he didnt want her anymore
"I'm just going to break a branch off of that aloe tree okay? It's for your back" He said "dont worry, i'll be back in a few seconds" he assured her
He quickly grabbed a branch and walked back over to Kate. "Kate? I'm going to rub this over the wound okay?" He said wanting to tell her everything he was doing so he wouldnt startle her. "It might sting a little at first"
"Jack its fine, just leave it" she said not wanting to be in any more pain.
"No Kate. Its not okay, it wont be bad...it'll only sting for a few seconds, but this will help it heal." he explained
Kate took a deep breath and nodded "okay" she whispered
Jack held her waist to steady her and brushed the branch on Kates wound. Kate whimpered and winced as he ran it over the wound several times.
"Okay, I'm done" Jack said to Kate
"thank you" she whispered
"Kate...when they injected you with those things did you have any side effects?" he asked
"No...well i hallucinated a lot...but uhm thats sort of whats supposed to happen since they were hallucinogens" she said quickly not wanting to relive those moments
Jack clenched his fists...He couldnt believe all that she had been put through, and to top it all of he had been a complete jackass to her the past week.
"You want me to take a look at your legs now Kate?" he asked slowly
Kate nodded and pulled her shirt over her head before getting up. she slowly got up and pulled her pants down but had a little trouble stepping out of them.
"Sit down" Jack said. Kate sat down and Jack pulled the pants off of her legs. Kate layed back down and tried to relax.
Jack looked down at her legs and his eyes eventually landed on her thighs. what he saw made his head spin, She had cuts and bruises going up and down the inside of her thighs.
"Hey...do you mind if i look at your thighs for a minute?" Jack asked
Kate nodded. Jack bent down and felt around and made sure none of her cuts were infected. he reached over and grabbed his bottle of peroxide and a rag. Kate whimpered in protest when she saw what Jack was going to do.
"Relax Kate. It wont be too bad okay? I dont want anything to get infected...just relax and breath." he soothed
he dabbed the rag with peroxide and told Kate to relax before he cleaned her cuts with it. Kate remained calm the whole time because of Jack talking to her, he was as gentle as he could be. Finally he was finished and told Kate she could put her pants back on.
"Okay, do you think you can get some sleep now?" he asked
Kate shook her head and got a frightened look in her eyes.
Jack sighed "Kate, you have to sleep. Dont worry, I'll be right here..." he said settleing himself on the edge of the bed.
Kate gave in a nodded "okay, I'll try" she said softly
She turned on her side facing Jack and closed her eyes. Jack got up and pulled a blanket over her and sat back down on the edge of the bed. As soon as he did Kate opened her eyes and looked at him.
"Jack?" she asked nervously
"hmm?" Jack asked concerned
"Will you...umm will you hold me?" she asked feeling embaressed...she never needed anyone in the past...she wasnt used to showing this much vulnerablility
Jack smiled "Are you sure Kate?" he asked
"Please?" she pleaded
Jack nodded "Of course" he said as he slipped under the blanket behind her and spponed her from behind, careful not to hurt her back too much. Kates arms immediatly went over Jack's and she clutched them tightly as she fell asleep for the first time in days.
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Okay, so i was bored and i guess the idea just popped into my head. uhm i dont know if i'm going to leave this as a oneshot or if i'll continue but tell me what i should do lol. review please!
