A Winter's Tale A.K.A Festive Frolics

This is a promotional story for Sookie's Secret Santa fic exchange 2012 – you may need to read our promo story for 2011 (Joy for Everyone) to get some of the jokes.

The author blinked as the latest update appears at the top of the list. Could it be that time of year already? Yes, it could. For the update that caught their attention was one of the many fantastic stories that had been published for the Sookie's Secret Santa exchange in 2011.

"I do like it when the authors repost fics to their own profiles." The author smiled wistfully and gazed off with that funny look actors have when they're being all nostalgic and stuff. "I wonder if those crazy girls will do a Secret Santa exchange again this year."

*poof*whizz*bang*

Jan of Arc coughed, wiped her nose on her sleeve and took another drag on her cigarette. "A'rite muckar!"

BlakesBoogie gave her cohort a sideways glance before picking a small piece of lint from her top. "I believe you were thinking about the Secret Santa exchange?"

"Um ... yes, yes I was. Are you doing it again this year?"

Jan and BB fist bumped and grinned. "Oh yes, we're back for more for 2012."

"Aye, and with a few wee changes anawl. None a' this emailin' back an' forth a million times or such frippery!" Jan said proudly.

"Jan, did you just say 'frippery'?" BB stared at Jan. "I can't take you anywhere can I?"

The author's gaze jumped from the blonde Scot to the Brunette Londoner as they bickered light-heartedly. "Excuse me? Did Jan say something about not having to email?"

"Oh! Yes, dearie, this year we've got a sign up form – you can find it on the blog we're moving to."

"You're moving to a blog? But what's wrong with fanfiction dot net?"

"Nothin' wrong with it – it's just a pain in the arse to create a new profile every year. We don't want to delete a' the stories that the authors wrote last year and addin' this year's stories would make it helluva confusin'."

BB nodded. "Yes, by moving it to a blog format we can just 'file' all the gift fics by year and use the same address year after year after year after year after .."

"Aye, BB, I think they get the point." Jan bent her knees out to the side and pulled her underwear out from between her bum cheeks. "All ye need to do is go to sookiessecretsanta dot wordpress dot com – everythin' ye need to know is on there. Ye can even sign up to follow the blog and get a cheeky wee email whenever somethin' gets posted!"

"But it works the same as last year though, right? We sign up, our names go into a hat ..."

There was an awful sound as Jan wailed in distress. "Oh the hat ... that poor wee creature. It was so worn out after last year we had to get it put down."

"There, there, Jan." BB patted her shoulder softly.

"But we promised them in the first promo of last year no hats would be harmed!" Jan blew her nose into a tissue making a disgusting trumpeting noise.

"I know, dearie, but it was kinder to let it go. That's why we got a helmet this year – they're tougher ..."

"And much better for double entendres .. yeah, I know." Jan sniffed.

"Err ... soooo." The author stood up and paced. "We fill out the form on sookiessecretsanta dot wordpress dot com to put our names in the helmet ..." Jan and BB both sniggered. "Then we'll get an email letting us know who we'll be writing for."

"That's right." BB nodded. "Anyone who wants to take part should fill out the form on the blog before Sunday 4th November 9pm GMT."

"And everyone will find out who they're writing for on Sunday 11th November. Ye've got loads a' time to write yer gift fic – 5 whole weeks, with no minimum or maximum word limit. Ye just need to get it tae us before Sunday 16th December."

The author looked at Jan, amazed that the Scot had actually spoken clearly and intelligently. "And is it pairing neutral again this year?"

BB and Jan shrugged and looked at each other for a moment, finally Jan spoke. "Sure. Why not? I mean it's not like we busted our arses trying to get people from team Bill involved just for two to turn up last year or anything."

There was coughing as the author choked on the organiser's sarcasm and bitterness. "So, it's still Team Neutral – you just won't be going to as many lengths to let it be known?"

"Of course it's Team Neutral!" BB cooed. "We can't have anyone being left out can we? And we've streamlined the process to make it easier for us to try and match writers this year."

"Yep." Jan nodded. "You can tell us if you want a romantic pairing or if you'd prefer a buddy fic, we're also taking more information about what everyone likes to read and write."

The author nodded and turned back to the computer, typing sookiessecretsanta dot wordpress dot com into the URL bar and bookmarking the site.

"Well, I had a blast last year – so I'm definitely signing up again!"

"That's the spirit!" Jan and BB spoke at the same time before clearing their throats awkwardly and disappearing in a puff of glittery smoke.

The author was sure that Jan's voice could be heard in the distance.

"For fuck sake BB, did ye need to go to town with the glitter hairspray?"

A/N: And there we have it! SSS2012 is go, so get yourself down to sookiessecretsanta dot wordpress dot com and sign up to give and receive a gift fic this festive season. Judge free, word limit free and (if you like) beta free fun for everyone in the SVM/TB fandom!