A/N: Any of you who are waiting for me to update Only Human, you may now bludgeon me into unconsciousness. Because I'm starting a new project and any updates will be slowed down now. *covers head* I got this idea when ShunKazamis-Girl told me I should be the April Fool after reading my other ROTG fic (The Pun War of '13).
Oh, and I hope you all appreciate how much of a pain it is for me to write in present tense! (I just needed to get that off my chest. ^^)
Rating: T. I don't think there are any swear words yet, but there will be.
Pairings: Zip. Nada. Nein. Niet. Non. NO. Sorry, I'm just no good at romance fics (no matter how much I love them)
Disclaimer: I don't even own the name Katie (stolen from a friend). What makes you think I own all of ROTG?
4/1/13
The Girl With the Cheshire Cat Grin
It's a bright, cheerful day in a small town that seems to have magically become a winter wonderland overnight, and a teenaged girl prances down the streets while singing any and every song that pops into her mind, often mixing the lyrics and transitioning between songs without realizing it.
"I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas~! Mommy and Daddy are mad~! I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas, 'cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad~!"
Anyone who might see her would surely label her as crazy and walk away, even if she weren't singing. The girl's shoulder-length hair is bright, fiery red that is never anything other than frizzy, while her eyes can't seem to settle on a color and often switch from a plain brown to bright pink to startling green in between blinks. Her face has a smattering of freckles and her mouth is pulled into a grin as she sings. She is tan and wears faded jeans and an old, comfortable T-shirt with a funny quote on it that, like her eyes, refuses to stay the same. The shirt never sports the same saying twice, though it is more relaxed and only changes every hour or so. The most noticable parts of her ensemble, however, are her black silk top hat and the cherry red cape that only reaches down to her hips.
Yes, anyone who sees her would promptly decide she was well and truly mad. Luckily, she doesn't have to worry about anyone seeing -or even hearing- her.
The girl is Katie Free, and she is the April Fool.
I grin as I keep up my songs, being ignored by the people who walk up and down the street. They can't consciously hear me, but the small, mischievous smiles that grace more than a few faces tell me that at least some part of them can feel my presence.
The Christmas song makes my smirk grow wider. I've been getting nuttin' for Christmas for the past couple of decades; I am number two on the Naughty List, after all. The only person above me is Jack Frost, but we are almost tied by now. And that is one heck of an accomplishment, considering that Jackie boy had two centuries for a head-start. I was so proud of myself when I first saw the List. Unfortunately, though I am second on the List, the name under Jack's isn't mine. I snicker. But that's a story for another time. Maybe it's just a hunch, but I get the feeling that I definitely won't be getting anything under the tree when North goes on his rounds in a few weeks. I snort in a very unladylike manner at the thought.
Speaking of rounds, I need to get back to mine. The next few hours go by quickly, with me leaving pebbles in just the right spot to make people trip, putting fake bugs in random places, taping various 'Kick Me!' signs to my poor victims, and going into silent classrooms equiped with a whoopee cushion. (Say what you want about the whoopee cushion; it's freaking hilarious.)
How did I get fake bugs and whoopee cushions, you ask? Well, to tell you that, I'd have to tell my whole story. I don't like even thinking about my story (thanks to a certain little problem that I might or might not tell you about later), so suffice to say that people got the whole pulling-a-rabbit-out-of-a-hat thing from me. Or maybe I got it from them? I don't remember. Anyway, any props that I need for a prank, I just pull them out of my signature top hat.
Soon enough, I get bored. Shocker, right? So of course I, like any sane person would do, decide to look down at my shirt and ask, "What do you think I should do now?"
Slowly, the words that were there previously shift and reform into a new phrase. It now says, 'Friends will stab you in the back. Best friends will stab you repeatedly with a plastic spoon.'
"Find someone to hang out with?" I translate, "Great idea! But the question is: who?"
The words once again blur and reshape themselves into a reply. 'I Intend To Live Forever... So Far, So Good.'
I roll my eyes. "Nah, I was just gonna go find a human to hang out with. Of course another immortal!" The shirt doesn't change again. I figure it's just sulking, so I go back to figuring out who I should go find. Sighing, I look at my surroundings in hope of getting an idea from them. There are Christmas decorations everywhere. Should I go try to sneak into North's workshop? Nah, security would be especially tight around this time of year, and Phil would catch me immediately. Besides, even I, the essence of rule-breaking, won't sink so low as to mess with another immortal so close to their holiday. That just isn't cool.
I grin when I see a group of kids (they look like they're in their preteens) walking on the sidewalk. One of the boys trips (not my fault) and lands in a snow bank in front of him. The boy looks like he is about to die of embarrassment, so I applaud and tell him cheerfully, "Epic failure, my friend!" He can't see or hear me, obviously, but my silent encouragement makes his face split into a goofy grin and he laughs about it with his friends.
My mind begins to wander to the person who put the snow bank there in the first place. It is still snowing, so I figure he'll still be close by. That's it! Grinning maniacally, I jump to the top of a building and proceed to wander around while singing. "Chesnuts roasting on an open fire~! Jack Frost nipping at your nose~!"
It only takes a few verses before I feel a gust of cold wind and hear a voice whine behind me, "Oh come on, Katie! You know I hate that song!"
"Jack, my frosty friend!" I cheer happily, turning around to glomp him. He was expecting it though and therefore dodges. I pout at him. "I don't get a hug from my favorite partner in crime?" In front of me is a white-haired, teenaged-looking boy in a blue hoodie that is frozen in several spots. He is the only person higher up on the Naughty List than me; we were pretty much destined to become best friends.
Jack Frost smirks at me as he leans on his crooked staff. "Last time you hugged me, my hair somehow got dyed neon orange," he accuses.
"I fail to see why that means I get no hug."
"I looked like a traffic cone for weeks!"
"A very stylish traffic cone!"
Our faces both break into huge grins. Man, I've really missed Jack. He's one of two spirits that doesn't hate and/or is annoyed by me, and he's been too busy with Guardian business to hang out with me much lately.
"So, what's up?" Jack asks curiously.
"I got bored," I state simply, "Wanna ditch work with me?"
He raises an eyebrow. "By 'ditch work', do you mean 'wreak havoc all across the globe'?"
"Yep."
"Let's do this."
Jack and I are in a highschool classroom while the students are taking a test. Their teacher is being particularly evil today; the test is a fill-in-the-blank with no word bank. One guy is especially worried. He knows he isn't doing well, but he can't remember any of the years!
Getting an idea, I walk over to him and tell the teen, "You should write forty-two for one of them. Everyone knows forty-two is the meaning of life, universe, and everything!"
Again, the boy doesn't hear me, but the basic idea gets put into his thoughts. Grinning, he ends up writing 9,001. I chuckle. "It's over nine thousand. Nice one, man!"
Jack is staring at me with an expression I can't quite put into words. It's like pride, confusion, jealousy, and awe wrapped into one, but that's not quite it. (1) "How can they hear you?" he asks.
"They don't," I answer with a shrug, "I think they hear me subconsciously, but they only get parts of the message. Kinda like your magic dust; they just get the basic feeling."
Jack gets a thoughtful expression and the conversation drops. As we walk out of the school, Jack asks, "Have you had any luck with remembering who you were?"
I shake my head. "No, it's still just a few blurry images and thoughts."
"You could go see Tooth, you know," he suggested. The Tooth Fairy is one of Jack's fellow Guardians. When he joined the group last year, Jack was finally able to get his memories back, and he thinks I should go get mine too.
I scoff. "Me? Go to someone for help? Never!" I declare loudly. In reality, I just don't think I'd be able to handle getting my memories back all at once. I get the feeling I didn't have the happiest life before I died. Memories of a life full of pain and sadness: that's my greatest fear. I wince at the thought.
Jack looks at me closely, seeming like he is going to press the issue further or maybe ask about my little problem, but then he seems to decide against it. Instead, he tells me, "Y'know, right now, your eyes are the same orange that my hair was."
I grin at his blatant topic-change. "Come on, let's go convince someone to stick their tongue to a metal pole."
I wave goodbye to Jack as he leaves to continue spreading blizzards throughout the world. With a relaxed sigh, I put my hands in my pockets and choose a random direction to walk in. I don't really have a specific 'home', so I settle for walking aimlessly through the streets of whichever town I finish my work in for the day. My mind begins to wander soon, and as usual, it goes to my newest of a long line of schemes and tricks. I thought of this cool prank yesterday where I get a rubber duck and-
Suddenly, a cold voice whose owner is hidden in the darkness beyond the light of the street lamps drawls, "Still friends with the winter brat, hmm Katie?"
(1) Pride because she can do something that no one else can. Confusion because humans shouldn't (as far as he knows) be able to hear her. Jealousy because, come on, who wouldn't be jealous of that power after three centuries alone? And awe because omgtheycanactuallyhearherandermergerd!
A/N: So? Do you guys like Katie? Hate her? Want me to completely scrap this fic and start a new one? (I won't, but tell me if that's what you think!) What about her relationship with Jack? And what part do you think the mysterious voice *cough*Pitch*cough* will have in the story? Tell me, my pretties!
Fair warning: I will not update this regularly or often. I was attacked by plot bunnies, and today is the perfect day to publish this first chapter. I'm going to try really hard to get an awesome plot all planned out for this fic (because so far, the plot is basically nonexistent.)
SOMEONE HELP ME THINK OF A NEW NAME FOR THIS FIC PRETTY PLEASE! I kinda like the current name, but it isn't my favorite. It just doesn't feel right, y'know? HELP!
