Not one of my better titles, but I thought it fit, considering the title name of the prequel/companion fic of this story, "Tsuna-nii." (which I totally suggest you read before this, though it's not necessary).
Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this one-shot. It has hints of 5927, though it's really just friendship. (I think I really overdid it this time around though, so I'm sorry if it's a little too OOC! D: I tried my best!)
I have ideas for a third one-shot, but I didn't want to delay this story anymore (as it took me two years to write already *sob*), so I decided to just post this already. Hopefully I get the last one-shot in the series done faster, but we shall see. Anyway, enjoy and please don't forget to review!
Tenth
The next morning, Tsuna woke up feeling oddly refreshed, despite the fact that he was most definitely lacking sleep.
He was surprised that Fuuta was already up and out of bed, considering the other had stayed up late as well. The realization made Tsuna inwardly panic for a second, and he hurriedly glanced at his clock to make sure he hadn't actually overslept; but really, it was an unnecessary gesture. It was still bright and early, something Tsuna should've figured by the fact that Reborn hadn't kicked him awake this morning.
"Morning, Tsuna-nii!" Fuuta called out to him distractedly as Tsuna stepped out into the hall. Lambo shrieked what might've been a good morning or what might've been a wail for candy as he dashed down the stairs with Fuuta at his heels. Tsuna shook his head exasperatedly at this usual routine before moving to get ready for school.
Breakfast was as lively as always. However, as much as Tsuna was in a good mood, he couldn't help but to keep thinking about the night before and the whole situation in itself. It made him wonder if Fuuta wasn't the only one that was being plagued about this whole Mukuro disaster.
Unfortunately, this wasn't exactly a subject Tsuna could simply ask in front of his mother, not to mention Bianchi was just too darn intimidating to question directly, so Tsuna ended up settling for sending her half-worried glances out of the corner of his eyes throughout the entirety of his meal.
It was obvious he hadn't been subtle enough about it though, because as he was slipping into his shoes at the entrance, there was a familiar snort at his right that sent him jolting out of his thoughts with a customary flinch.
"Hiiiiiiii! Reborn!" Tsuna backed into the opposite wall in alarm as he stared wide-eyed at the Arcobaleno whom had suddenly appeared. His eyes quickly moved to inspect his surroundings for trouble, but to his surprise there was none (that he could see).
Reborn rolled his eyes at this display but for once got straight to the point. "You don't need to worry about Bianchi, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn told him in a matter-of-factly tone. "We Mafioso quickly learn to deal with night terrors. And unlike Fuuta, she was only briefly possessed." He added the last part as an afterthought.
Tsuna's shoulders eased a little at this information. "Oh yeah, I suppose that makes sense…" he mumbled mostly to himself, before his eyes widened comically in shock. "Wait… you were awake?!" He pointed at the other accusingly as an embarrassed flush began to rise to his cheeks.
Reborn smirked knowingly before moving to kick the other out the door. "Get going already, Dame-Tsuna. You're going to be late," he ordered, and Tsuna stumbled out the door hurriedly, whining feebly at the abuse though picking up the pace just in case Reborn belatedly decided that he wanted to run shooting drills on the way to school today.
The thought so deeply frightened him that Tsuna ended up not noticing Gokudera-kun's absence until he was already halfway into his journey. "Huh… that's odd," Tsuna murmured to himself as he stopped to look around him, as if at that moment his self-proclaimed right-hand man would pop out of nowhere as he was wont to do.
To Tsuna's disappointment (relief?), no such thing happened. He was pretty surprised that his earlier prediction of meeting the bomb-user outside his house in the morning had been wrong.
I wonder if he's alright… Tsuna frowned as he remembered the amount of injuries Gokudera-kun had acquired during his battle with Mukuro's minions. Gokudera-kun was hurt protecting me before that too… Tsuna's frown deepened at that reminder. He still felt miserably guilty about that. If only he had moved in time…
And he was possessed by Mukuro as well… I wonder if Gokudera-kun's really alright…
Tsuna's worries continued to escalate as he continued his way to school and it left him very distracted.
"Oi, Tsuna!"
"Tenth! Good morning!"
"Huh?" Tsuna blinked in surprise at these greetings, suddenly noticing that he had arrived at his classroom at some point. "G-Gokudera-kun! Yamamoto!" Tsuna blinked again as he took in the sight of his friends, noticing that neither of them were sporting bandages anymore. The sight filled him with immense relief.
"You guys are alright…" It was one thing to hear about it from Reborn, but it was a completely different thing to see it in person. Tsuna's shoulders eased as he took in his friends' expressions. Yamamoto was grinning as carefree as always and Gokudera-kun was already making his way to Tsuna's side and bowing profusely.
"I'm sorry for not stopping by your house this morning, Tenth! I overslept!" the bomb-user apologized fervently. His attitude as overbearing as always.
Tsuna sweat dropped at this display and tried to calm the other down. "It's fine, Gokudera-kun. Don't worry about it!" he assured him with an easygoing smile, growing a bit exasperated at the fact that the white-haired teen continued to stare down at the floor regardless, as if he had committed a great infamy.
I guess if Gokudera-kun is acting this way, then everything must be alright after all. I thought he would be like Fuuta, but I suppose Gokudera-kun is used to things like this too…
Tsuna wasn't sure what to make of that. Although it was certainly good that Gokudera-kun wasn't having any problems after that, it made him kind of sad that the other was used to things like that already. I wonder if I'll become like that one day…Tsuna thought briefly before instantly discarding the thought. What the heck am I thinking?! There's no way I'm becoming part of the Mafia! Tsuna shook these thoughts off his mind as class started.
The day went by as usual for the most part—the teachers droned, Tsuna didn't understand half of what they were talking about, Gokudera-kun glowered at 99% of the population of the school, and Yamamoto made fun of him for it. Despite all of this however, for some reason, there was something nagging at him in the back of his mind; Tsuna couldn't figure out what it was though, so he just tried ignoring it. And with the amount of makeup homework he had to do, that was rather easy to do.
The week passed swiftly like that. A little too swiftly. Between Reborn's usual torture—err, tutoring sessions, as well as the usual ridiculous antics of his family and friends, Tsuna was too distracted to ponder on that odd feeling he'd been having.
Had he paid attention to it though, Tsuna might've noticed sooner that throughout the week Gokudera had been acting increasingly… "normal," (and in Tsuna's world this only meant weirder). For most part of the week, the white-haired teen had become less overbearing, not only with him, but in general. He no longer shadowed Tsuna's every step, and had even stopped coming to his house in the mornings and often in the afternoons as well; due to oversleeping and because he had things to do, respectively, he had said. During school, Gokudera seemed to glower a little darker at the teachers from time to time, but that was mostly to make up for the many times that he missed doing so since he had taken to sleeping during class as well.
Tsuna was ashamed to admit that it wasn't until Yamamoto pointed some of these things out that he really started to take notice of all of this. He really should've found it odd sooner, because for all the sleep Gokudera-kun appeared to be having, the bomb-user's complexion had been growing increasingly paler, and there were faint dark circles under his eyes—eyes which more often than not failed to meet Tsuna's own these days. Not to mention that his usually faint scent of smoke was now almost suffocating.
Combined with the faint aura of guilt and uneasiness that Gokudera-kun seemed to have on the rare, rare times the two were alone together, Tsuna could've slapped himself on the face for being so slow to pick up on the fact that his friend was suffering from the aftereffects of Mukuro's possession. (Reborn beat him to the abuse however and consecutively ordered him to do something about it.)
But Tsuna really had no idea of what he could do to help the other. It was obvious that he should directly confront him about it but Tsuna just felt so awkward bringing up the topic that Gokudera-kun so avidly seemed to be avoiding. Not to mention it was hard enough to find himself alone with the other…
"Aahh... I really am just Dame-Tsuna…" Tsuna sighed miserably to himself, biting at his lip distractedly as he pondered on what he should do.
"What was that, Tsuna?" Yamamoto inquired with a curious tilt of his lips, his voice just a tinge louder than usual (probably to make up for the unusual silence that had been following them since they all left school).
"Huh, is there something wrong, Tenth?" Gokudera snapped out of his own thoughts and turned to look at them, his eyes quickly glancing in Tsuna's direction before settling down to look at the ground again.
"Uh… I…" Tsuna stammered embarrassedly, quickly trying to think of how to respond, before carefully recalling his previous words—an idea quickly began to form.
"It's that test we have coming up in a few days!" Tsuna quickly explained to them both, sending furtive glances in his right-hand man's direction in between words. "I'm not really sure I understand what the teacher was talking about…" he sighed with his most upset tone of voice, making an effort to look extremely miserable about the fact (something that, admittedly, wasn't that hard to do).
Yamamoto nodded in sympathy at these words before smiling sheepishly. "Don't worry, Tsuna… I don't really get it either." He laughed unconcernedly.
That response produced an exasperated glare from the bomb-user. "Tch, of course you don't," Gokudera grumbled slightly to himself before doing a complete 180 as he addressed Tsuna. "I'm sure you'll do fine, Tenth! If you want, I can let you borrow my notes!" he offered as eagerly as one could when staring at a person's shoes rather than their face.
Tsuna inwardly frowned at both the suggestion and the reaction. "A-ah… Thank you, Gokudera-kun… But I was actually wondering if you could help me study for it today, or something?" he suggested almost hesitantly, and hoped to god that the other would say yes.
For a moment, Tsuna thought his plan would fail. Upon hearing his request, Gokudera stopped midsentence and bit at his lip harshly. He looked entirely guilty as he opened his mouth next, his expression fully informing Tsuna that the answer would be in the negative. Thankfully, Yamamoto decided to interrupt just in time.
"That's a great idea, Tsuna! I could use the review too!" Yamamoto grinned as he put an arm around the brunette's shoulder. "Let's go then, Gokudera!" The baseball player picked up the pace and began dragging Tsuna to his house, an action that completely infuriated the white-haired teen so much that he began stalking after them.
"Stop being so damn clingy with the Tenth, you baseball idiot!" the bomb-user growled as he followed after them hurriedly.
In the end, Tsuna had a feeling that Yamamoto had known what he was up to, because as soon as they had arrived to his house the baseball player had quickly excused himself—"Ah! I almost forgot! Sorry, guys! I have some errands to run for my old man. I guess I'll have to review on my own later. Well, see ya!"—with a discreet wink in Tsuna's direction. Gokudera-kun had floundered wide-eyed but had ultimately been unable to excuse himself after having promised to help.
Tsuna took much advantage of this fact despite feeling slightly guilty about the whole thing; and that was what brought them to this point:
"Sorry for keeping you here so late, Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna apologized to the other as he looked down at his lap. Outside it had already considerably darkened.
"Oh, um, it's not a problem! You don't have to apologize, Tenth!" the bomb-user sought to assure his boss despite the slight uncomfortable expression currently on his face. Although Gokudera had been able to relax a bit during their tutoring session, now that they were no longer focused on it he had become tense once again.
"It's my fault though…" Tsuna insisted. "If I hadn't taken so long to understand then you would've been able to leave earlier!" he apologized once more, the guilt in his eyes unmistakable, although he doubted the other knew the real reason behind it.
"No, I should have explained everything more clearly before. I'm sorry, Tenth!" Gokudera apologized himself, and refused to hear any protests against his words.
"Gokudera-kun!" Tsuna sighed exasperatedly but decided to let it go. He fiddled with the corners of his shirt as he tried to overcome the next hurdle of his plan. "I-in any case, it's really too late for you to go home now, so, um… Would you… Would you like to sleep over?" Tsuna asked the other timidly, peering at the other's reaction through his eyelashes as his toes curled in apprehension.
"W-what?" The bomb-user blinked in shock at the suggestion, as if the concept befuddled him. "Oh, I… I wouldn't want to inconvenience you, Tenth!" Gokudera waved his hands in front of him. "I don't mind walking home this late, it's really fine," he assured him, but Tsuna merely continued to insist.
"It's not a problem at all, Gokudera-kun. Please stay. It's the least I can do…"
"B-but…" Gokudera looked torn between imposing on his boss and going against his boss' words.
"Please?" Tsuna flashed his right-hand man a pleading smile that was able to completely break through Gokudera-kun's objections.
"O-of course, Tenth…"
Nana, of course, was ecstatic at the news and had no objections to Gokudera's staying over. Bianchi was pretty happy about it too if her smothering hug had anything to say about that—Tsuna was just glad that she was still wearing those sunglasses they had given her earlier, otherwise his plans of confronting Gokudera would have become an entirely difficult affair (in summary: impossible).
Dinner was a near disaster but not much different from usual. After avoiding Bianchi's cooking and a few explosions via Lambo's grenades, Tsuna and Gokudera were finally able to retire for the night.
But now? Now Tsuna wasn't sure how to proceed.
Despite all the struggle of getting to this point, in the end, Tsuna wasn't exactly sure of how to approach this. The idea had been sudden, a half-assed desperate desire to help Gokudera. He had wanted to confront him, corner him so the other wouldn't run out on him. But Tsuna couldn't just bring this up out of nowhere, could he?
For a split second, Tsuna almost wished he had asked Reborn for advice earlier. But then he remembered that the baby usually ended up being no help at all in these situations.
At least he won't be around to see this… Tsuna thought, feeling a mixture of dread and relief over that fact. Although he hadn't expected Bianchi to kidnap Reborn for the night, he was glad that she did. Tsuna would have just gotten more nervous if there was an audience, not to mention Reborn had enough embarrassing ammunition against Tsuna already; he didn't need to give him any more.
"Ah, Tenth?"
Tsuna's attention returned to the present and he turned to look at Gokudera who had just shuffled back into his room. The smoker was avoiding Tsuna's gaze again, though he was obviously doing his best to look more at ease.
"You're back." Tsuna fiddled with the sleeves of his pajamas as he shot the other a nervous smile. "I set up the futon for you." Tsuna gestured down at the futon unnecessarily as he shifted on his feet. This is the first time I have a friend sleep over, he thought almost offhandedly. A second later, he swallowed heavily at the realization, beginning to feel nervous for an entirely different reason now.
"Thanks…" Gokudera murmured quietly as he stared down at said futon. He looked distinctly embarrassed. Tsuna wondered if it was the first time Gokudera had done this too.
"So, um…" Tsuna bit his lip and couldn't help but direct his gaze at the floor as well. The atmosphere in his room was stifled and tense. Everything felt all kinds of wrong and Tsuna wasn't sure what to say, where to begin…
"Gokudera-kun, I wanted to…" Tsuna started, his bull-headed determination allowing the words form; but the moment the smoker's gaze peered up to meet his own, Tsuna faltered and felt his throat clog. His mouth closed with a snap and he forced himself to shift his gaze away.
Out of the corner of his eye, Tsuna saw Gokudera's expression shift from worried to wary, finally settling on an obviously fake smile. "What is it, Tenth?"
Stop doing that. Stop pretending everything is alright,Tsuna desperately wanted to say but the words wouldn't come. It felt as if his tongue was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Tsuna felt frustrated and guilty, but above all he was disappointed in himself. He wanted to help his friend, wanted Gokudera to confide in him… but the scaredy-cat, unconfident part of him was flaring up inside of him, preventing him from speaking as he wished. "I… just wanted to thank you again for helping me out today," Tsuna ended up muttering lamely as he rubbed the back of his neck.
"There's no need to thank me, Tenth," Gokudera assured him, looking up at him. His expression was a little bit more genuine when he smiled this time.
But the gaunt look lining his friend's face was a constant reminder to Tsuna that everything was not okay, and Gokudera's careless, well-meaning words managed to relit his courage and frustration. "No!" the brunette disagreed strongly, and though he somewhat surprised at his own tone, he didn't allow himself to falter. "No, Gokudera-kun. You're wrong. I do need to thank you. I want to! Gokudera-kun's always helping me out, and I…!" Tsuna stared at the faint, dark circles under his friend's eyes. "I wish I could help Gokudera-kun out too, sometimes…" he finished quietly. Unable to look at Gokudera's surprised, wide-eyed face at the moment, Tsuna turned his gaze back down to stare at his knees as his lips twisted unhappily. Why was it so hard to say all of this? If it was anyone else… if it was Yamamoto even… Would it be this hard?
It didn't feel like it would.
Tsuna didn't want to examine the reasoning behind this at the moment though.
"Tenth…"
Gokudera-kun's voice made Tsuna glance up quickly. The brunette swallowed uneasily as he noticed the soft, red flush that had spread across the other's cheeks, and the small, pleased smile that he was obviously trying to hide as he ducked his head and stared down at his clenched hands which were tightly gripping the cloth of his pants.
"Tenth, I'm really, really grateful to hear such words from you. The sentiment makes me more than happy. But you don't have to feel that way. There's no need to worry about me."
Gokudera-kun was obviously trying to reassure him, but Tsuna couldn't take comfort in these words at all. "No…" he muttered quietly.
"Tenth?"
Tsuna clenched his eyes shut and shook his head miserably. "Gokudera-kun… you're not okay at all, are you? It took me a while to notice, because I'm an idiot, but you haven't been sleeping well lately. You're a lot less talkative and you don't show up around here that much anymore, and it's been obvious that there's something wrong, but you haven't said anything to any of us! You keep disappearing on us all the time, and it's weird! Gokudera-kun has always been by my side all this time, but you can't even look at me in the face anymore!" All of the thoughts that Tsuna had been keeping inside of him couldn't help but to burst out at this moment. His chest ached, and his faced felt like it was on fire, but Tsuna didn't care. He had to say it. He had to tell Gokudera-kun.
"Of course I'm going to worry about you! You're my friend. You're so… so important to me… and I wish I could help you more. Gokudera-kun is always doing his best to help me, and I want to do the same. I know I'm not very reliable… but I want to at least try. So please don't keep things to yourself anymore. If you're sad, if you're angry, or even just a little worried, I want to know."
Tsuna bit his lip and felt his chest tighten the moment he finished speaking. He felt suffocated, but at the same time, he felt unbelievably overcome with relief. He was glad he had finally been able to tell the other what had been on his mind.
But…
Now he wasn't sure about what Gokudera-kun would say.
Neither of them said a word for what felt like forever, even though it was just a few seconds in actuality. Tsuna had a hard time forcing himself to look at the other, but he did. And his eyes widened at the sight before him.
Gokudera's expression made Tsuna blanch in panic. The other's lips were parted as if in shock, and when those wide, vividly green eyes blinked, a thin trail of tears slid down each side his face. The warm, wet feeling must have jolted him into realizing he was crying, but as Tsuna floundered and began to hurriedly apologize, his words stumbling over each other, Gokudera quickly shook his head.
"Ah, this isn't—!" Gokudera looked away and furiously began to wipe his eyes. His face began to gain color again as he raised his voice enough to speak of Tsuna's panicked stutters.
"Tenth, Tenth! Don't get the wrong idea or anything. This isn't—there was just something in my eye, and…" Gokudera trailed off, and his insistent, reassuring expression froze on his face for a moment, before it began to slowly slid off completely as a softer, much more real expression lifted on his face. "And I'm just, really, really happy to hear what you just said. The Tenth's words… those feelings have been clearly relayed to me. So… I promise to be honest with the Tenth too, from now on."
"…R-really?"
"Yeah. So, if the Tenth wouldn't mind… I would like to explain the reasons behind my behavior for these past few days."
Tsuna already had an idea of what the other would say, but he'd wanted the other to speak up for once, so he didn't do anything except nod encouragingly.
"The truth is… After the whole incident with that Mukuro bastard… I haven't been able to sleep well." Gokudera grimaced. "It's hard to explain but… not being in control of my body… feeling that guy possess me… it's a disgusting feeling that I'm not sure how to describe."
Tsuna shuddered sympathetically. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know, personally. Both Fuuta's and Gokudera-kun's haunted tone gave him enough to go on. It didn't sound like it was a nice experience at all.
"But… that's… not the only thing that has been bothering me."
"Huh?" Tsuna blinked and his eyebrows furrowed when he saw Gokudera look away from him, frowning deeply.
"The other thing that bothers me… is that I wasn't able to help the Tenth when he needed me the most."
"Huh?" Tsuna repeated. "What are you talking about, Gokudera-kun? You did help! You were with me the whole time!"
"I attacked you though." Gokudera sounded pained to admit it. "I know I wasn't in control of my body when it happened, but even though I would never raise a hand against the Tenth, I did. The fact that I couldn't stop myself, that I was so useless, has been nagging at me since then, and it's been so hard to face you because of that. Every time I'm near the Tenth, I want to bow down and apologize, but I don't want to inconvenience the Tenth with my feelings either…"
"Wait, Gokudera kun…"
"It's frustrating. It's so frustrating. How can I call myself your right-hand man when I couldn't do anything to protect you? Though I'm happy the Tenth was able to handle this situation by himself, I can't help but to wish I had been more useful to you. I have to get stronger. I can't let the Tenth be hurt. Next time—"
"Gokudera-kun!"
Gokudera's mouth snapped shut. Tsuna frowned, and this time it was him who felt like crying, though not at all happily. Gokudera-kun's words made a fear Tsuna had been trying to ignore surface inside of him.
"Gokudera-kun…" Tsuna's mind flashed back to the image of Gokudera bleeding in his arms, needles poking out of almost every inch of his body. He shuddered, and couldn't help but to wish there would never be a next time. Seeing his friends hurt, seeing Gokudera-kun hurt… Tsuna didn't want anything like that to happen.
"Can't you just… forget about that stuff already?" Tsuna tried to ease the tension by laughing lightly, but it came out more awkward and strained than he expected. "Please… I don't want you to keep thinking about the mafia or this right-hand man stuff. You're my friend, and that's enough… I don't need you to be stronger. There's no need to protect me. Just being with me is enough!" Tsuna couldn't believe how he was able to keep saying all these types of embarrassing things. Gokudera's expression was once again wide-eyed and surprised, and the more Tsuna stared at the other, the more he became embarrassed by his words. But he wasn't about to take them back. He had meant them after all.
"Tenth… I really am happy you think that way, but…I can't promise you that. As much as you wish that…" Gokudera bit his lip. "Well… We don't know what the future might bring."
You mean you don't think the danger's ever going to stop, Tsuna couldn't help but to think bitterly, though he was quick to discard such a pessimistic thought.
"What are you talking about…? We're just… normal middle school students…" Tsuna tried to insist, but Gokudera's kind smile made Tsuna look down at his lap again.
"Tenth… At least for now, I'll do my best to do as you said. I'll be more honest, and I'll take care of myself. But I'm also going to do my best to grow stronger, because I refuse to let anything ever happen to you, Tenth."
It wasn't exactly what Tsuna wanted, and those last words were the very opposite of what Tsuna wished.
But a part of him also couldn't help but to feel relieved to hear them.
Tsuna didn't know what his future might bring. He knew that with Reborn at his side, only more crazy messes were bound to happen. Gokudera's reassurances to protect him worried him, but…
They also made him feel incredibly relieved.
So in the end, he just sighed quietly, and tried to smile.
"Alright, Gokudera-kun. Thanks. I'm counting on you," he said.
For now, this would have to do.
