Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with Blizzard. The song contained in Chapter One is a parody of the Mindless Self Indulgence song "Two Hookers", which I also have no affiliation with.
Guild: Two Hookers and a Moocow; Staghelm
Main Character: Sabrieth; Level 61 Blood Elf Combat Rogue
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Sabrieth stared bad temperedly at the thick cloud of smoke surrounding her. Taking another hit from one of the many hookahs strategically placed around the tiny Shattrath inn, she struck up a one sided conversation with the large cockroach perched on her knee.
"You know, Jerome, I don't think I've been quite this displeased with existence since Archmage Arugal demolished us in Shadowfang. Or any incident involving murlocs. I can't stand the foul creatures… the noises, the habits… and don't get me started on their appearance." Jerome merely scuttled off in search of crumbs. Hardly noticing, Sabrieth narrowed her eyes and whispered maliciously.
"The rogue will not abide."
Striding purposefully out of the inn, with Jerome bouncing along behind her, Sabrieth sent out a guild-wide message using her communication stone: The murlocs must die!
Soaring high over Shattrath on her faithful wyvern Muldoon, Sabrieth sang a bastardization of the Guild Anthem at full volume, narrowly avoiding being hit with a variety of vegetable matter thrown at her by angry citizens.
"Two Hookers and a Moocow
can you believe that I would join this shit?
Two hookers and a moocow
Stupid fuckers thinkin' Naz is pro…
I definitely give myself props
and that way I always loot what I want
I'm struggling to keep my edge
with two hookers
and a moocow, noob
for all the show goods
Cause I rock them noobs
and get freaky deaky
with a front row ticket
for all of my dungeon bitches
Two hookers and a moocow
can you believe that I would join this shit?
Two hookers and a moocow
it... ain't. that... fucking. hard…
I'm struggling with all the guild noobs
'cause inexperience is where they lose
mother fucker.
I'm struggling to keep my edge
with two hookers
and a good-for-nothin' pally
for all the fine ladies
rolling out with my homie Sneaky
shankin' all the clothies
with a high case of rabies
and a high strung beat
Two hookers and a moocow
can you believe that I would join this shit?
Two hookers and a moocow
Stupid fuckers thinkin' Naz is pro…"
"Pay no mind to them igits, lass" said Muldoon, dodging a rotten potato thrown by a particularly annoyed night elf, "they just canna appreciate fine music." Sabrieth merely grinned as the pair soared onward towards the portal to Under City.
