Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or even pink bunny slippers

Setting: Hogwarts, Gryffindor Common Room

Sirius: These pink bunny slippers make me look hot!

Peter: (Petting them) They're so soft and fluffy…I mean at first they're fluffy and then they're soft. And then it's like a combination of the two! You can't get any softer or fluffier, man!

James: Did you get in the way of a bad Marijuanus Highus Charm?

Remus: Come one Jimmy that isn't a real spell.

James: Yes it is Loopy.

Sirius: You know what's hotter than my slippers? Lily Evans!

James: (snaps 'Z') Oh no you didn't!

Peter: I thought you were gay!

James: Yeah lover-boy.

Sirius: I'm not gay, I'm happy.

Remus: I have to pee.

James: You shouldn't have said that, now Padfoot's going to want to go with you.

Peter: Can I come too?

(Remus, James, and Sirius roll their eyes.)

James: I wasn't being serious, Tard.

Sirius: Guess what tomorrow is? Valentines Day!

James: Oh no! (flattens hair nervously) Do you think Lily would want to go out with me?

Sirius: When house elves fly.

Remus: I can arrange that.

James: Back already?

Remus: Yes, and I heard everything…wait…could you hear me?

(All nod) (Remus blushes)

James: You look like a cupid.

Sirius: Wormtail looks like a Cupid.

James: Bad image! Bad image! (punches Sirius) What did you say that for?

Sirius: It's the truth mate, just face it.

Peter: You think if I actually did dress up as a Cupid I could get chicks?

Sirius: Dear God, nobody agree to that.

Remus: You couldn't get a chick if it were the giant squid.

Sirius: The giant squid's a chick?

Remus: Why, you looking?

James: I know how to get Lily's attention!

Sirius: How? A squid?

James: No!

Peter: Then how?

James: I was just trying to get off that subject. Moony don't you have any ideas?

Remus: We could have Peter dress up as a Cupid.

James: He's fat!

Peter: I've been working out recently!

James: What? Your stomach?

Sirius: I thought we were supposed to get that image out of our heads. We could serenade her, Prongs. Girls like that stuff.

Remus: So says the Sirius Black Fan Club.

Peter: (pouting about being called fat) James can't sing!

James: Yes I can, Baby Love my Baby Love-

Sirius: (covering ears) Stop the insanity!

James: Well if you're so great Padfoot, show me how it's done.

Sirius: All right then, (clears throat).

I like big butts and I cannot lie,

You other brother's can't deny,

When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist-

James: Where did you learn that?

Peter: Can you teach me?

Remus: I don't think she'd like it too much; it sounds like you're calling her fat.

Peter: She is getting a little chubby….

James: (punching Peter repeatedly) Shut up, Stupid!

Sirius: Stupid Cupid, it rhymes…awesome!

Remus: (rolls eyes) You're so easily amused, Padfoot.

Peter: (laughing) Hey, it does rhyme!

James: I think I have an idea!