Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or even pink bunny slippers
Setting: Hogwarts, Gryffindor Common Room
Sirius: These pink bunny slippers make me look hot!
Peter: (Petting them) They're so soft and fluffy…I mean at first they're fluffy and then they're soft. And then it's like a combination of the two! You can't get any softer or fluffier, man!
James: Did you get in the way of a bad Marijuanus Highus Charm?
Remus: Come one Jimmy that isn't a real spell.
James: Yes it is Loopy.
Sirius: You know what's hotter than my slippers? Lily Evans!
James: (snaps 'Z') Oh no you didn't!
Peter: I thought you were gay!
James: Yeah lover-boy.
Sirius: I'm not gay, I'm happy.
Remus: I have to pee.
James: You shouldn't have said that, now Padfoot's going to want to go with you.
Peter: Can I come too?
(Remus, James, and Sirius roll their eyes.)
James: I wasn't being serious, Tard.
Sirius: Guess what tomorrow is? Valentines Day!
James: Oh no! (flattens hair nervously) Do you think Lily would want to go out with me?
Sirius: When house elves fly.
Remus: I can arrange that.
James: Back already?
Remus: Yes, and I heard everything…wait…could you hear me?
(All nod) (Remus blushes)
James: You look like a cupid.
Sirius: Wormtail looks like a Cupid.
James: Bad image! Bad image! (punches Sirius) What did you say that for?
Sirius: It's the truth mate, just face it.
Peter: You think if I actually did dress up as a Cupid I could get chicks?
Sirius: Dear God, nobody agree to that.
Remus: You couldn't get a chick if it were the giant squid.
Sirius: The giant squid's a chick?
Remus: Why, you looking?
James: I know how to get Lily's attention!
Sirius: How? A squid?
James: No!
Peter: Then how?
James: I was just trying to get off that subject. Moony don't you have any ideas?
Remus: We could have Peter dress up as a Cupid.
James: He's fat!
Peter: I've been working out recently!
James: What? Your stomach?
Sirius: I thought we were supposed to get that image out of our heads. We could serenade her, Prongs. Girls like that stuff.
Remus: So says the Sirius Black Fan Club.
Peter: (pouting about being called fat) James can't sing!
James: Yes I can, Baby Love my Baby Love-
Sirius: (covering ears) Stop the insanity!
James: Well if you're so great Padfoot, show me how it's done.
Sirius: All right then, (clears throat).
I like big butts and I cannot lie,
You other brother's can't deny,
When a girl walks in with an itty-bitty waist-
James: Where did you learn that?
Peter: Can you teach me?
Remus: I don't think she'd like it too much; it sounds like you're calling her fat.
Peter: She is getting a little chubby….
James: (punching Peter repeatedly) Shut up, Stupid!
Sirius: Stupid Cupid, it rhymes…awesome!
Remus: (rolls eyes) You're so easily amused, Padfoot.
Peter: (laughing) Hey, it does rhyme!
James: I think I have an idea!
