"Let it go, Garrus. Listen to him. He's already paying for his crimes."
Trembling in rage, Garrus Vakarian watched as Commander Shepard, his best friend and CO, moved aside to reveal the face of the man responsible for the death of his entire team at Omega.
His finger hesitated on the trigger. . .
He had dreamed of this moment for months. Ever since Shepard had saved his life at Omega, he had spent every waking moment planning the death of the traitor, had spent every single night dreaming of the corpses of his people.
His people. They deserved better than this. Better than him...
He could see Shepard looking up at him from Sidonis' side. Her eyes beseeching him to see reason, to not lose himself in his blind hatred like he had since the beginning of this mission, to not become the very thing he once despised more than anything else. A murderer.
But then he remembered his team.
Erash, Monteague, Mierin, Grundan Krul, Melenis, Ripper, Sensat, Vortash, Butler, Weaver.
Ten good men dead because of one coward. Ten good men dead because of him. . .
He couldn't let Sidonis walk away from this right now no matter what his excuses were. Not after everything that had happened. But Shepard was still standing too close to him for a clean shot.
I'm sorry, Shepard. I guess I couldn't be like you after all. . .
His decision made, he loaded a single concussive round into his rifle.
Commander Shepard had never actually intended to place herself between Garrus and his intended target. Not initially anyway. But after seeing how he had dealt with Harkin, she had begun to have serious doubts about allowing Garrus to go along with his plan to kill Sidonis.
She knew, better than anyone else, what exactly he was going through. The hatred, the self-loathing, the what-ifs; she had been there herself, after Akuze. Hell, in many ways Garrus was handling the situation a whole lot better than she had.
She remembered the kind of person she had been before she joined the Normandy SR1:shooting first and asking questions later, if she bothered to ask them at all. She had left a trail of dead bodies in her wake, always using the "Mission comes first" tagline like a pathetic excuse to shield herself from the consequences of her actions.
But all of that had begun to change slowly. At first, she had thought that it was her death that had changed her outlook on life.
But truth be told, she had begun to change as a person long before her death. The catalyst for that change had been a rather unexpected source; specifically, it had been a naïve but good-natured turian ex-cop who she had befriended aboard the SR1.
The very same turian she was so desperately trying to save today.
She didn't give a damn about this Sidonis character (Hell, if she ever ran into him again she'd kill him on principle) and she felt like a heel using Garrus' friendship and affection for her to manipulate him into sparing that bastard's sorry hide. But she could not stand back and watch her friend lose himself like this.
She wanted to believe that the young, idealistic turian she'd befriended was still in there somewhere. And she was going to bring him out, even if he hated her for it.
She was so busy on this line of thought that she barely felt the concussive round slam into her heavily armored shoulder, sending her spinning to the ground.
A loud report later and she watched, open-mouthed in shock, as Lantar Sidonis' body hit the ground, bleeding profusely from a neat bullet hole between the eyes.
It was an extremely enraged Commander Shepard that boarded the Normandy an hour later.
That bastard had shot her! Her! His goddamn commanding officer, his superior, his best friend!
He'd shot her with a concussive round simply because she had been standing in his way, standing in the way of his revenge!
So much for friendship. Fucking cuttlebone bastard!
She'd been an idiot! She'd been stupid enough to believe that her friendship mattered more to him than his petty revenge.
Last time I ever stick my neck out for anyone. "Always got your back" my ass!
"Not now, Joker," she snapped as she stepped out of the decontamination chamber. She turned instead to the place where the glowing AI usually appeared in the cockpit.
"EDI," she bellowed. "Is Vakarian on the ship?"
"Officer Vakarian is currently at his station in the main battery," the AI said as she popped into existence. "Commander, should I. . .?"
"No," Shepard ground out as she stalked to the elevator. "I've got this."
The expression on her face was so murderous that for once even the cheerful Yeoman Chambers skirted away from her path. Shepard effortlessly cut her way across the mess hall, her eyes boring holes into the locked doors of the main battery.
Hide from me, will you?
Using her authorization to override the lock on the doors, she stormed into the battery to find the offending turian working on his console.
As if nothing had happened. . .
The sight of Garrus calmly working on his console as if he didn't have a care in the world, as if hadn't just shot her barely an hour ago sent her over the edge.
As he turned around to face her, she drove her right fist straight into the left side of his face.
The stunning blow caught him completely by surprise and he fell to the floor. Shepard didn't let go however, and proceeded to strike him again and again as he lay on the ground. It was only after she caught a few droplets of blue blood on her gauntlet that she relented and took a step back.
For a moment they just stared at each other as Shepard tried to get her temper under control. As he moved to stand up, she tensed, fully expecting him to retaliate. To her surprise however, he merely looked at her with an inscrutable expression on her face. "Are you done?" he asked.
The casual tone he used once gain brought her anger back in full force as she reached and grabbed him by the front of his ruined armor. "Done? Done? Oh, I'm not even close to being finished with you, you turian bastard!"
She pushed him up against the console. "What the hell were you thinking Vakarian? Huh? You fucking shot me with a concussive round just to get a clean shot at that son-of-a-bitch!?"
"You knew the risk when you chose to stand between me and him, Shepard," he replied, still using that calm and collected tone.
"Are you even listening to yourself?" she asked him in disbelief. "You shot me just because I was in your way? Dammit Garrus, I never expected this from you of all people!"
"You were the one who decided to use our friendship to manipulate me into not taking the shot, Shepard," he said, causing her to back up a little. "Either way, it was not your call to make."
She wince internally at the truth in his words, but was too far gone in her rage and indignation to care. "It doesn't matter. When we're on the field, you follow my commands. If I order you to walk way, you walk the fuck away!"
"And if I were to refuse?" Garrus said, folding his arms and glaring at her, the picture of defiance.
Shepard's lip curled in contempt. "Then get the hell off my ship!"
Garrus' mandibles flared in shock as he stared at her, seemingly unable to believe his ears. "Shepard. . ."
But she was too far gone to care. "If you can't follow my goddamn orders, if you can't trust my judgement, if I can't trust you to watch my back without actually putting a bullet in it, then I don't want you here anymore!"
She spun on her heel and marched towards the elevator, pausing briefly at the doors. "I expect you off this ship in the next 30 minutes. Make sure to take all your stuff with you and document all the work you've done on the main cannon. Send Miranda a copy before you leave."
She walked away.
Garrus sighed in defeat as he watched Shepard leave the battery.
Truth be told, he had sort of expected this to happen the moment he pulled the trigger on Sidonis. That didn't make it any easier to face it though.
He knew, the moment he had pulled the trigger that he had done more than just killed a traitor; he had destroyed the small amount of faith Shepard had in him, the small amount of trust she had placed in him the moment he had chosen to take the shot.
And Commander Shepard did not trust easily.
No, he had well and truly done it this time. He had ruined the trust they had carefully built up over so many years and so many battles.
His best friend in the galaxy, the single best thing that had ever happened to him, and the one person he respected more than anyone else. . .
Lost to him. Just like his team on Omega. Just like Sidonis. Ruined by his own hands.
His hollow laughter rang in his ears, sounding pathetic even to himself, as he quietly gathered his meager belongings and set about inputting his final commands in the console.
"EDI," he spoke to the AI. "Make sure to run the equations I entered every three days to ensure the guns remain properly calibrated. Refer to my notes in case you need to do some troubleshooting."
"Understood, Officer Vakarian." The AI paused a moment as if unsure and spoke, "Are you. . . really leaving the Normandy?"
Garrus blinked in surprise. Was he imagining it or did the AI seem. . . concerned?
"Yes EDI. You heard the Commander; and its Garrus now." He hesitated, and then continued "Take care of everyone EDI. Watch out for Joker and. . . and for Shepard."
The AI paused for a moment, as if considering his request. "Understood. Take care. . . Garrus."
He merely chuckled sadly. "You too EDI. You too."
A long, hot shower tends to cool even the hottest of heads. Commander Shepard was no exception.
As she allowed the hot water to wash away the aches and pains of her body, her mind went over the events of the day.
She'd be the first to admit that she had overreacted to the whole situation. The concussive round he'd fired had barely clipped her shoulder plate, causing nothing more than a momentary loss of balance. Hell, it hadn't even left a bruise.
It certainly wasn't reason enough to unload on Garrus the way she had.
She winced as she remembered the way she had struck the poor turian. For all her preaching about the benefits of self-control and restraint, she certainly hadn't shown any when dealing with her closest friend.
She groaned inwardly as she remembered the expression on his face as he had faced her, the pain in his large blue eyes. She had thought he was showing his contempt for her back then.
Only now did she realize that the disgust in his eyes hadn't been directed towards her, it had been directed towards himself.
He was obviously sorry about what he had done. Hell, it was stupid to think otherwise. He was a turian for God's sake! Given their military upbringing, even speaking out against their superiors was considered blasphemy.
For Garrus to have rebelled against her the way he had, it must have torn his very soul into pieces.
As Shepard finished her shower and got dressed, she ruminated on how badly she had treated her turian friend.
Out of all her friends, he had been the only one to unconditionally accept her resurrection at Cerberus' hands. Tali, Anderson, Ashley. . . heck, even Liara; they had all seemed a bit leery of her, even if the latter had never said it outright. But Garrus hadn't. Hell, his first words to her after getting half his face blown off had been about following her into hell "just like old times."
No, if Shepard had to be truly honest with herself, the reason she reacted so violently had nothing to do with her shoulder and everything to do with her pride.
She'd expected him to obey her unconditionally, like he always had. She'd expected him to walk away, blindly believing that she knew what was best for him, like he always had.
She had never once thought to look at the situation from his perspective.
Hubris, she thought bitterly. She'd have thought getting spaced would've beaten it out of her.
She glanced at her omni-tool. It had been four hours since their confrontation, three since they had left the Citadel. He ought to have cooled own by now.
She made her way down to Deck 3 and strode purposefully to the locked doors of the main battery. She had to settle this between them. There was more at stake than just the mission here. She was not going to lose his friendship over a dead traitor! They were both better than this.
She frowned at the sight of the empty main battery. "EDI," she spoke. "Where's Garrus?"
The AI's blue globe flickered to life before her. "Garrus is no longer on the Normandy, Commander."
"What do you mean?" Shepard asked, cold dread settling into the pit of her stomach.
"Per you orders, Garrus Vakarian left the Normandy three hours and thirty-five minutes ago. He disembarked at the Citadel."
AN: What d'you think, folks? Should I leave it as a one-shot or continue the story? Please vote.
