//If you were a thought
you would want me to think you.
And I did—Tori Amos//
Behind the veil all Sirius does is think. Sometimes he thinks about things he would have should have done. Or about that damn house elf...stupid, stupid pure-blood worshipping filthy house elf. He thinks about sniveling, annoying, needy Peter, and slime-haired, two-faced Snape.
A lot of the time though, he thinks of the Potters. If Sirius is being honest with himself, and here in the veil there is no reason not to be, he thinks he kinda hates the Potters. Stupid, heroic, rash Potters, who always seemed to screw up his life one way or another.
Like James.
Spoiled, snitch boy, rich boy, pretty boy James.
Who never grew up until two weeks before he died, and even then…
Sirius thinks, cause no one living has the balls to think it, that James was stupid and irresponsible for choosing Peter as secret keeper.
Stupid, needy, defenseless Peter who they knew only stayed with them because he liked big friends. Granted even Sirius at the time considered Peter one of them. Trusted him even.
But they ALL had a feeling about Peter, so honestly, with Lily's life and Harry's life weighing on it was this really the time to decide to test where Peter's heart was?
Peter…stupid, useless Peter who went to Voldermort like the sniveling twit he always has been.
If James had just thought for a second…Dulmbedore can take care of himself, as can Hagrid, and Sirius, and Lupin. Even if Peter didn't go out of his way to tell…
The deatheaters would have found him eventually.
They would have thought it was Sirius and then killed him, thought it was Lupin and then killed him, and eventually they'd have gotten to Peter who couldn't even perform a half-decent spell. Peter who made a better rat than human. Did James really think Peter would have DIED before telling the deatheaters the place?
No, in truth, though no one wants to admit it…
James didn't think at all.
James made a stupid, rash decision and was convinced he was being smart and heroic.
James made a stupid, rash decision at a time when stupid, rash decisions could and did get him killed, and then eventually got Sirius sent to Azkahban. And now Sirius is behind the veil.
Because of Harry.
Naïve, desperate, rash, heroic, foolish, lucky Harry.
Harry whom if he had just sat down thought before he went and did about half the stupid things he always ended up doing…and if he had just sat down with that mirror and thought about it…
But Sirius doesn't get angry. Doesn't really feel much of anything anymore. And knows that at the end of everything…this was his choice, and James' choice, and Harry's choice, and all the choices everyone made that brought them and the world down a path they had to follow. But still.
All philosophical thoughts aside.
Behind this veil Sirius doesn't do anything but think.
And sometimes he thinks he wishes everyone else did too.
A/N: Ok so for those who might be wondering were Dumbledore came from…he offered to be secret keeper but they—meaning the potters—refused.
Also I don't mean that Sirius hates James or Harry it is understood that he loves them and would have died for them as he ended up doing…but this is more of a endless time reflection and sometimes I think a person might get a tad bitter from dying by being pushed into a damn veil. This is more of him wishing that everyone himself included thought a little bit…because to me it seems if people in that damn book thought more than they acted they could have easily avoided many of their troubles.
Also I do know that Sirius was apart of the choosing of Peter. But at the end it was James choice and Sirius does partly blame himself which is why he is not angry.
Ok now that I've cleared that up. Please read/review.
I don't own them…miss j.k rowling does so there.
