At First Sight
Summary: After weeks of seeing Thera through Jonah's eyes, Jack takes a moment to look at Carter and notces the unhappy differences between the women he and Jonah both loved.
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate. I just like to play
For the Sam/Jack Discussion Thread at Gateworld
He saw her.
It was as though he was looking at her for the first time. Jonah had never noticed the ever-so-slight worry lines between her brows or the soft sadness in her eyes. Thera's eyes never held that sense of melancholy. Only Carter's did.
Jonah had never missed the way her hair had curled under her ears before Brenna had cut it all off. He had never noticed the slight difference in the shape of her face when she had been away from her tweezers for a month, because Jonah had never known that Thera had once had perfectly sculptured eyebrows or soft, chin-length hair. Jonah had known nothing.
But Jack knew everything. Again.
And with suddenness, Jack discovered the source of the wrinkle in her brow and the absence of the sparkle in her eyes. He was the source. Jack O'Neill. Not Jonah, not a man with his body and his mannerisms and his heart. It was his identity, his station that gave her those lines on her face. Jack O'Neill. Colonel Jack O'Neill, to be accurate.
He wished he could run his hand through her hair or rub his thumb along her brow and ease the tension away. Jonah could have. Jonah would have, without hesitation. But he, Colonel Jack O'Neill could not and would not.
He wondered if he was looking at her with the same loss in his eyes as was in hers. He hoped not. He hoped she didn't know just how much he was feeling this loss, this grief at losing something he never should have tasted. But at the same time, he wanted her to know. He wanted her to understand that he had felt it too, even before their memories had been taken away, and only more strongly now that they had been given back. He would never tell her, of course. But maybe if his eyes shone like hers did, she would know. She would understand.
As it was, he could only hope. And never speak of it again.
