1/9/2015: Okay, so same as my other stories, some minor revisions, mostly cosmetic. :) There weren't major changes, and since I'm fixing up my stuff, I'm hoping to get a new chapter up the 17th, as that is the end of my first semester finals. I hope you all continue to enjoy this as I take it...who knows where.

Rating: T

Warning: This is crack. I have no idea where this came from, but one day, it was there, and I had to write it. But, being crack, there will be some major OOC-ness and all out weird stuff. You may question the sanity of the beloved narrator as well as yourself. You may also suffer from long bouts of laughter, choking due to lack of air due to said laughing, and tears, also the result of laughing. Or you might just sit and stare at the screen not sure what to think. Either way, you have been warned.

Disclaimer: I have no ownership over any of the Naruto characters. I only own the concept and the plot.


Chapter 1


The sun shone brightly down upon Konoha, and for once, all seemed calm.

"NARUTO! GET YOUR BUTT BACK HERE AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS!"

Never mind.

"But Sakura-Chan~! It wasn't even my fault!"

Ah, the ever familiar wail of our hero fleeing from the hands of his psychotic teammate.

"Oi! I'm not psychotic, baka!"

And there's the Godaime's apprentice, insulting the dear narrator once more.

"You're not dear to anyone!"

How mean…

"It's true!"

Ahem. Anyways, ignoring Sakura-

"Hey!"

As I was saying, ignoring Sakura, we begin our story, not now, not here….not even in this dimension.

"Wait….Sakura-Chan, is she talking about…?"

That's right Naruto. I'm talking about the Alternate.

"Ah, no! It was horrible enough the first time, when you got Neji to go! He's still traumatized!"

Too late.

"W-wait! Sakura-chaaaaaaaan!"

"Stop screaming baka, I'm going too!"

"Oh."

(*inserts awesome 80's style psychedelic swirl and music*)

*SMACK!*

"Owwwww…." Naruto groaned, rubbing his sore bottom. Well, now he couldn't criticize Neji about complaining about his back.

"Oh, stop moaning, Naruto."

The blond cracked an eye open and pouted up at his pink-haired team-mate who lay a few feet away. "But it hurt!" he whined, standing up slowly. "Where are we, anyway?"

Sakura slowly stood up. "….I think we're behind the Academy." She said, looking around. "Doesn't seem too bad. Maybe we can just camp out here until-"

"INTRUDERS! PREPARE TO BE APPREHENDED!"

"Well, look at that. You jinxed us, Sakura-chan."

"….."

(Ten minutes of struggling later)

"Both of you stop shuffling your feet and explain what the hell you were doing behind the Academy. If you're from another village, I swear to Kami-sama, I'll gut you where you stand."

Naruto opened his mouth to respond, only to get distracted once more. It really wasn't his fault he kept getting distracted…honest. After all, even though the person before them did look like Granny Tsunade...if he squinted. However, this Tsunade was a midget. A freaking midget. Seriously, she was almost smaller than Konhamaru's fried Moegi, and Moegi was often called a pre-academy student because of her short height. And the worst thing was…

…This Tsunade didn't have a bust. At all. No matter how long he stared down at her chest, they didn't appear. It was as if she was the same age she was when she was in those little kid pictures Kakashi-sensei had showed him once!

Tsunade caught Naruto's eyes drifting to her chest once more, and grit her teeth angrily.

"GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER AND STOP STARING!" Tsunade shrieked, slamming a fist into the table. It creaked, and it was obvious that, despite the fact she was smaller, this Chibi Tsunade was just as strong as Granny Tsunade.

"Forgive him, Godaime-sama." Sakura said hurriedly, looking a little to the side of the smaller girl's face. "He's an idiot."

Tsunade snorted. "I can see that myself," she said dryly, crossing her arms. "Now explain. What village are you from and what were you doing behind the academy?"

"Well, you see, we're not from another village. We're from an alternate universe Konoha." Sakura explained, hoping she didn't sound too far-fetched. "We were sent here by a mysterious voice that calls itself, 'beloved narrator'."

Tsunade stared at them for a moment, before sighing and pointing at a tall, very-familiar looking Anbu.

"Ookami(1), you've been here for two hours now doing nothing. Go make yourself useful and get the…the other one."

"Hai, Hokage-sama!"

Without another word, the Anbu left the room via shunshin. Naruto stared at the spot where he'd been standing, eyes wide.

"Was that Kakashi-sensei, Tsunade-chibi?" he demanded, looking at the Godaime. The small Hokage's eye twitched in a very familiar manner, and she clenched her fists.

"Who. Are. You. Calling. CHIBI?" Tsunade screamed, diving over the table and knocking Naruto to the ground.

"Hokage-sama, I've returned with the other one!"

Tsunade paused in choking Naruto, looking up at the Anbu with a withering look. "You know, it's okay to be take your time once in a while, Ookami." She groaned, standing up. She spared a glance at the knocked out Naruto, before sighing. "I'll deal with him in a moment."

"I'll do it, Godaime-sama." Sakura said, hoping this little example would help. Tsunade stared at her curiously as she knelt at Naruto's side, moving through a series of familiar seals and pressing two fingers against Naruto's forehead.

A moment later, Naruto groaned and opened his eyes slowly. "Geez, couldn't you control that temper, Tsunade-baa-Chan?" he complained, slipping into the familiar way. Tsunade stared at him with a confused look.

"Why the hell are you calling me a grandma?" she demanded, ignoring the sense of warmth about the fact that, for once, she wasn't being called a kid.

Naruto frowned, before realizing where he was and groaning. "…Forget it." He muttered, standing up next to Sakura.

"….If I was pulled out of my cell for no reason, I'd like to go back. I was sleeping."

That voice. Naruto and Sakura moved in perfect synchronization, whipping around and staring wide-eyed at the figure the ANBU had brought in.

"SASUKE?"

"TEME?"

The familiar raven-haired boy turned his head to look at the two in slight annoyance. "What the hell do you two want n…." His eyes widened for a moment. "Did you just say teme? And call me by my first name?" he asked suddenly. Naruto narrowed his eyes.

"Of course! You are a teme!"

"Why wouldn't I say your name?" Sakura asked warily, further unnerved by the look of relief that flashed on Sasuke's face. His next words shocked the hell out of both Konoha nins.

"Oh, thank Kami! Something NORMAL!" Sasuke groaned, looking and sounding extremely relieved. Sakura blinked a few times.

"What?"

Tsunade sighed. "Ookami, Kitsune. Explain."

The ANBU who had brought him stepped up, arms crossed. "We-"

"Ookami, Kitsune. Masks OFF." Tsunade clarified. "I think we can trust them."

Ookami turned to Tsunade quickly, obviously surprised. "…Are you sure?"

"The pink-haired one used my hand-signs. There are only two people like that, and she shares hair-color with one of them. The blond…he resembles Kitsune."

Kitsune tensed slightly, obviously disagreeing.

Ookami hesitated, but nodded, quickly slipping off his mask.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Naruto cried, grinning ear to ear. He knew he'd heard that voice before. It was impossible to miss the tenor of their sensei's voice. Of course, he was smart enough by now to know not to throw himself forward and hug someone who didn't trust you, and right now, this Kakashi-sensei didn't trust him.

"Shut up!" Kakashi hissed, frowning. He still had to keep his identity somewhat of a secret. The Jounin looked towards his fellow ANBU. "Kitsune, you as well."

Kitsune obviously didn't want to, but reluctantly reached up and slipped his mask off. Sakura gasped, eyes widening.

Before her, was Naruto. Except…he wasn't Naruto at the same time. The serious air in those blue eyes, the dark, almost dead-pan expression on his face, and the fact that he wasn't grinning and acting stupid and shouting just solidified her belief. Naruto on the other hand, wasn't all that tactful.

"Holy shit! I'm an ANBU in this dimension!" he exclaimed, grinning. Alternate-Naruto winced slightly, frowning.

"Please don't bring me to your level." He said, voice a deep, smooth tenor rather than the slightly feminine-sounding voice Sakura was used to at home. "Refrain from calling me anything other than Kitsune, understand?"

Sakura gave a nod, but Naruto frowned.

"But you're me! Why wouldn't I call you by name?" he complained, crossing his arms. Kitsune's eye twitched slightly, but he didn't say another word.

"….As I was saying," Kakashi said, shaking his head slightly. "We found him in the Uchiha district, terrorizing the Uchiha and repeatedly trying to attract the attention of the local dropout, Uchiha Itachi."

"My brother is not a local dropout!" Sasuke snarled, eyes narrowed. "He's a freaking prodigy!"

Kakashi made no action to show he heard. "We apprehended him fairly quickly, and sent him down to the T&I department. He came back in an hour, and Ibiki came out looking a bit sick." He paused, looking down at the glowering Sasuke. "Ibiki said that his story was true, and that when he said he came from a different dimension, he isn't lying."

"And neither are we!" Naruto exclaimed, grinning. "How'd you end up here, Teme?"

Sasuke couldn't help the annoyance that flashed in him, both because of Naruto's voice, and because of the relief that flashed in him. "…I was going to Konoha, when this freaking voice started talking-"

"Did it call itself 'dear narrator'?" Sakura suddenly asked. Sasuke blinked, thinking back, and nodded.

"But anyway, right after that, there were all these weird colors. It was like Ino's wardrobe and Sakura's wardrobe puked everywhere. Then I was on my back in front of my dad's house, and Shisui-nii was staring at me." Sasuke explained, crossing his arms. "And….I saw that."

Sasuke shuddered at the last word, looking a bit paler than usual. Naruto blinked, feeling his curiosity surge.

"What was that?" he asked, watching Sasuke grimace.

"You'll see."

"What do you mean?"

"Hokage-sama, you called?"

Everyone in the room-save for Kakashi and Kitsune, who quickly put their masks on-turned towards the door. Naruto's eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He barely reacted in time to catch Sakura, who had fainted at the sight.

Sakura was standing in the doorway. But she looked like Sasuke's wardrobe had attacked her. Her usual dark gray/black gloves were fingerless, and made of a similar fishnet material that Ino's armbands were. Her outfit, usually fairly modest, now seemed much more revealing, especially when placed against the unconscious Sakura. Her midriff was exposed, since she was wearing a shirt much like Ino's, save for the fact that it was black and that there were long sleeves, similar to Neji's outfit. She had to same pair of black leggings that she usually wore, but instead of a pink skirt, it was paired with a short, dark blue skirt, three or four inches above her knee. Her sandals and socks were probably the only thing that stayed entirely the same, seeing as they were fairly normal.

But of course, that wasn't what had caused such an extreme reaction in Sakura. No, that had been induced by the person beside the darker Sakura.

Sasuke Uchiha, the supposed heartless bastard willing to destroy Konoha because of a warped idea of justice and revenge, the heart and body breaker of Konoha, was currently clad in a negative-version of the Jounin uniform, white where black should've been, and the usually dark toned flak jacket had taken on a sort of cloudy gray color, and a pink cloth for his hitai-ate instead of the usual dark blue. Of course, that was the normal part. The strange part was, he was clinging very tightly to someone. A very annoyed someone.

"Uchiha-san, get your hands off me." Alternate-Sakura grit out, glaring down at the black haired boy. And then, further disturbing both normal Naruto and Sakura, Alternate-Sasuke actually pouted as he clung tighter.

"But Sakura-chaaaaan~!" he whined, looking up with his lower lip sticking slightly out. "I just wanted to give you a hug, but you ran away! So I had to chase you and give you a hug!"

Naruto's eyes widened impossibly further. "What the hell?"

Sasuke groaned. "How do you think I felt?" he griped, shuddering. Despite the fact that it wasn't really him, he was still horrified. He was wearing pink! Pink! And he was clinging onto the pink-haired annoyance like fangirls clung to him! It was horrifying.

Alternate-Sasuke looked at Sasuke with a frown as he finally stopped clinging to Sakura. "Hey, you're the freak who was trying to be me back in front of my house." He said, crossing his arms. "What the hell were you doing? And what was with the outfit we found you in? I hope you realize, purple assbows went out of season last month, after Sakura-chan told me that either I rip it apart or she'd rip my pink hitai-ate apart." He said, looking sad. Then he smirked. "But still, better lose the big bow than my hitai-ate. Plus, going around with a half-open shirt it totally out of style."

Sasuke's eye twitched, and he nearly snapped at them, only to be stopped by the short Hokage.

"Neko," Tsuande said, watching Alternate-Sakura's head jerk up. "You and Izuna," she paused again, watching Sasuke reluctantly look up at her. "Are to wear your ANBU uniform and mask so long as these three are in town. You're also to go by no other name than your codenames."

Neko frowned, looking at the smaller woman with a questioning look. "Forgive my impudence, but I refuse! These….people," she said, looking at the three with disdain, spitting out the word people as if it were poison. "Are strangers in our village! For all we know, they could be spies!"

Tsunade raised a brow. "Neko, please tell me where the hell they would find another girl with your face and hair?"

Neko grimaced, looking down. "There's always the possibility of mutation. Or a henge." She said, looking up again. "Orochimaru-sama has shown that enough times."

Tsunade sighed. "She used my hand signs perfectly." She reasoned. Neko snorted.

"Anyone who's heard of you would know how to make your hand signs." She retorted.

"But she saw past the small tic I do in front of others, a trick I only taught you and Shizune." Tsunade shot back. Neko opened her mouth to shoot back a stinging reply, only to close it when she realized she had no argument. Tsunade smirked victoriously, turning back towards Naruto and the others.

"Slap her right shoulder," Tsunade ordered, pointing at Sakura. Naruto stared at her.

"Why?" he demanded. Tsunade frowned.

"Because I said so!" she said, slamming her hand down onto her desk. The poor thing groaned and creaked from the impact, but managed to stay intact. Naruto gulped, but merely held Sakura up in front of him. Then, with a muttered apology, he slapped the pink-haired girl's shoulder.

No response.

"What kind of wussy hit is that?" Tsunade shouted, glaring. "I'm not that weak!"

Naruto's eye twitched. "I just didn't want to hurt her!" he yelled, bringing his hand down in an attempt to show exasperation. However, Sakura was still being held up, and his hand ended up smacking her shoulder with a sharp crack noise.

"FORGIVE ME, TSUNADE-SAMA! I DIDN'T MEAN TO PASS OUT!" Sakura suddenly screamed, jerking away from Naruto's grip and shooting straight up. When nothing else happened, the pink-haired girl opened her eye slightly, expecting the shouting. When all was quiet, she allowed herself to relax a little and fully open her eyes. It was then she noticed that everyone was staring at her. "What?"

Tsunade snorted. "If that reaction isn't yours, I don't know what is." she said, smirking over at the stunned Neko.

"…." Neko remained silent. She had no arguments now that would hold solidly. Tsunade smirked in victory, about to dismiss them, when a voice that never should've been used to whine began whining.

"Hokage-sama, you can't honestly expect me to believe this….this….depressed looking freak is me!" Izuna protested, waving a hand at the annoyed Sasuke. "He's so boring! And his clothes are all plain and stiff…and out of style! The only good thing about him is that he got out of that assbow and open shirt and into what looks like an outfit my mom tried making me wear when I was a kid!" the horror was evident in voice and eyes, making Naruto snort with laughter.

"Hahahaha, Teme, this guy is so much cooler than you!" Naruto howled, shaking with laughter. Sasuke growled out an annoyed curse, making Izuna give a very convincing Sasuke smirk. Then Izuna turned towards the man in a fox mask.

"Oi, Kitsune, how do you feel about…that Naruto." Izuna asked, jerking a thumb to the blond. Kitsune tensed slightly, and even though the mask was on, you could tell he was giving his fellow ANBU a cold glare. "Oh, come off it! He's just like you!"

Naruto grinned. "See? Even Izuna-teme says so!" he crowed, bouncing slightly in excitement. Kitsune growled.

"He is nothing like me." Kitsune ground out, his fists clenched. Izuna smirked once more, his face a complete contradiction to his clothes.

"Then Depressing Boy is nothing like me! The fangirls would die at the sheer boringness of his outfit~! And I can't stand the idea of my fangirls dying! I love them too much." He said, looking totally serious. Naruto and Sakura stared at the strangely clad Izuna, wondering exactly what else was up in this dimension.

"…Tsunade-sama, if this is all, then may I leave? Ookami promised me a spar later, and since the two of us seem to be done…" Neko said, standing straight. During the brief argument, she had pulled her ANBU uniform from her pouch and was set in uniform. Otherwise, she'd never get into ANBU training grounds, distinctive hair or not. Tsunade nodded, and Ookami vanished via shunshin. Neko was about to disappear as well, only to be interrupted in her seals by a familiar cry.

"SAKURAAAAAAA! DON'T LEAVE ME!" Izuna wailed, launching himself at the girl and clinging to her leg.

"Get off me, Izuna!" Neko shouted, trying to shake the wide-eyed, panicked male off her leg. "And it's Neko!"

Izuna whimpered, clinging all the tighter. "Neko-chan was trying to leave me all alone with weird depressed boy!" he cried, looking up with, oh kami forbid, teary eyes. Sasuke all but died as he saw his face with teary eyes look up desperately at Neko.

Neko herself was feeling exasperated, but, knew she wouldn't get to leave until she asked. "Tsunade-sama?"

A weary sigh was all that came from the smaller woman. Neko nodded silently, turned, and began limping out of the room, dragging the leg Izuna was clinging to behind her.

Naruto waited until they were out of the room and the door was closed before he turned back to Tsunade and the others.

"….That was weird. And considering the fact that we just fell through some weird portal thing because a voice in our heads made us, that's saying something." He declared. Sasuke glared at Naruto, now finally getting past the point where he'd be relieved at some normality. Sakura shook her head, wondering how in the world they would survive until they managed to get back. Tsunade looked between the three, and grinned.

"Kitsune, make sure they all get chakra bracelets. Then, you can take them out to eat. Maybe….to Ichiraku's?" she suggested slyly. Disciplined as he was, even Kitsune couldn't keep the immediate straightening and the somewhat obvious brightening of the mood at the mention of Ichiraku.

"Ichiraku? I love them!" Naruto shouted, grinning widely. Kitsune turned to face Naruto, staring for a moment, before shrugging.

"…Maybe he's not totally unsalvageable." He muttered, taking three pairs of chakra bracelets and slapping them onto the trio. "Follow me."

"Man, mine's yellow! I want an orange one!"

Three annoyed tics appeared.

"Shut up, Naruto."

(A few minutes later, down at Ichiraku's Ramen Stand)

"Ah, Jinchuuriki-sama! Welcome to my shop!"

An elderly looking man stood behind the counter, smiling over to Kitsune. "How may I…what the hell are you all doing here?" The man's smile vanished the moment he caught sight of Sakura and Sasuke.

Sakura blinked, looking surprised. "Teuchi-san, what do you think we're here for? We're here for some food." She said. Teuchi snorted.

"Yeah, I figured. Why isn't your black haired fanboy releasing his henge?" He asked, glaring at the two. Sakura was feeling thoroughly confused, all the more so when Naruto bounced up and sat in a chair.

"Hey, Teuchi! I'll take my regular." He said brightly. Teuchi blinked, his ire fading as he looked between the stoic Kitsune and the hyperactive Naruto.

"What the….Jinchuuriki-sama, there are two of you? Is this some technique to eat twice as much and not get full?" Teuchi asked, looking over to Kitsune with a grin. "Well, you've used your bunshin for worse things I suppose…"

Kitsune fingers twitched slightly in irritation, but he merely inclined his head to show he heard. "Two of my regular. And Teuchi-san, please refrain from snapping at the others. They're still ranked, despite the fact they act like idiots."

Sasuke growled out an irate hiss at Kitsune, sitting down on the seat on the other end of the counter. Sakura shook her head and sat down beside him, mostly to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. Sasuke obviously knew this, and glared at Sakura.

Teuchi observed this with surprise. "….Well, the henge seems to change his personality as well!" he roared, laughing. "Must say, I like this better than his wailing. What can I get you two?" he said, grinning down at the two other nins.

"I'll take vegetable ramen." Sakura said, giving a slight smile to the ramen stand owner. "And Sasuke's going to have miso ramen."

Sasuke's eyes widened and he looked at Sakura with horror. The girl knew he hated miso in all forms! She had to, considering everything else she knew! Sasuke caught sight of Sakura's slight smirk as Teuchi nodded and went off to make said ramen, and he figured that she'd do anything to make him suffer here.

Naruto laughed at the expression on Sasuke's face, before looking at Kitsune. "Hey, where's Ayame-chan?" he asked, grinning. "She's usually here helping…"

Kitsune stared at Naruto like he was crazy. "Ayame? You're kidding, right?" he asked, voice incredulous. Naruto shook his head. "Huh…an Ayame that doesn't mind working. I'd love to see that." He snorted. Naruto frowned.

"Hey, don't talk bad about Ayame-chan! She's a great worker." He protested. Just then, he was interrupted by a door in the kitchen being slammed open.

"Oi, Old Man! I need some more money!"

Teuchi frowned, looking up at the door. "Dammit, Ayame, did you blow it at the betting pools again?" he said, glaring. "Why don't you do something productive and earn your money!"

Naruto stared, shocked. Ayame-chan…his memories of the bright, kind, nearly always smiling Ayame-chan were shattered in an instant and replaced by the image of the very Pein-like being. She had two piercings under her lower lip, multiple piercings in both ears, and a single one in her exposed naval. Her brown hair had black streaked through it and her once kind dark brown eyes were narrowed in annoyance.

"Don't joke, fucking old man!" Ayame snarled, arms crossed and her chin jerked up in defiance. "Just give me some cash!"

Teuchi glared at her, but continued cooking. Ayame grit her teeth, flipping him off from behind before stalking out of the kitchen. Naruto stared after, eyes shocked.

"A-Ayame-chan…." He whispered, jaw slack. Kitsune snorted slightly at Naruto's expression, rolling his eyes from behind the mask.

"Told you." He said simply. Naruto sniffed, looking depressed.

"Ramen's done." Teuchi announced, setting down the steaming bowls before his customers. Sakura and Sasuke, having wisely ignored the situation, snapped their chopsticks open and began eating.

Kitsune lifted his mask slightly, just enough to reveal his mouth as he also snapped his chopsticks and began eating.

However, completely unlike him, Naruto was staring at his bowl, his expression somewhere between confusion and thoughtfulness. Sakura saw this, and, despite her better judgment, stopped eating and looked at Naruto.

"What's up with you?" she asked, tilting her head slightly. Naruto straightened in surprise, looking at Sakura like he'd forgotten she was there.

"Ah…I was just thinking, if Ayame-chan was like that, what's everyone else like." He responded, looking worried for a moment. "I mean, I'm a stuck up…Sasuke in this world,"

"Oi!" Kitsune growled, annoyance in his voice as he stopped eating as well. Sasuke obviously didn't like it either, if the twitch in his eye was any indication, but he ignored it and continued eating.

"You're like an emo Neji-Sasuke mix," Naruto continued, ignoring Sasuke and Sakura's sudden death glare. "Sasuke's like a rabid….well, even more rabid mix of fangirl Ino and you from when we were genin. And Tsunade-baa-chan is a chibi! A chibi!"

Sasuke was glaring at Naruto at this point, Kitsune was wisely ignoring them and eating his ramen, hoping to Kami above that they'd disappear soon. Sakura was still glaring, but softened a bit at the bit about Tsunade.

"Yeah, that was kinda weird…" she admitted. "I mean, I'm so used to a tall Shishou, I was shocked to see her so small. In both regions." Sakura said, looking smug for a moment.

Naruto figured it was a girl thing, but then Kitsune spoke.

"What does your Tsunade look like?" he asked quietly. Despite the fact he had stifled his…other, side, he was still curious about most things. It's just here he had the resources to find out what he wanted pretty fast, and therefore it was no longer fun. But a chance to see a tall Tsunade…especially if it was a tall Tsunade with the same…assets as one of Konoha's treasures...now that would be worth it to the ex-prankster.

"Oh, wait, I think I have a picture!" Sakura said, looking in her pockets. Naruto stared at her.

"Why do you have a picture of baa-chan?" he asked suspiciously. Sakura rolled her eyes.

"Not everyone believes the Godaime would pick a pink-haired girl as her apprentice. Having a picture of her which can't be doctored helps when I meet those people." she explained, before giving an 'aha' sound and pulling out a small photo. "Here you go," she said, handing it to Kitsune.

The fox slipped his mask on completely, seeing as he had finished his ramen, but it was also to hide his reaction. Then, once he determined none of them would see if he reacted, he looked at the picture.

And then, he promptly fainted.

"O-oi! Sakura-chan, what'd you do? You killed me!" Naruto cried, looking at the prone figure of Kitsune. Sakura frowned.

"I could've sworn.." she said, bending down and picking up the picture Kitsune had dropped when he fainted. Her eyes widened. "O-oops. This one is mine." She said, flushed brightly.

Naruto looked at her curiously. "What is it?"

"Nothing!" Sakura shouted, hiding it. No one else but Ino knew she'd taken a picture of Konohamaru's Oiroke-Otoko no ko doushi no jutsu when no one was looking. Well, no one but Ino and, now, Kitsune…

"Oh, he's waking up!" Naruto said, grinning as Kitsune began to stir. The male groaned, sitting up slowly and shaking his head to clear it. Then he turned his head to Sakura, and even with the mask, it was easy to tell that he was glaring bloody murder at her.

"What the hell was that?" he growled. Sakura flushed deeply, pulling out a larger photo. "I'm sorry, okay? That was from a private collection…this is the one. I swear," she said, holding it out the Kitsune. The ANBU looked at it warily, before silently taking it. He took a quick, cursory glance and when it was confirmed that it wasn't another…thing like that, he looked at it in more detail, immediately he noted two differences. One, she was taller than Godaime-sama he knew…and two, well…he could certainly understand why Naruto's eyes had kept straying to Godaime-sama's chest. That…

Kitsune briefly wondered if their Konoha would consider that a national treasure. Kurenai's assets were the largest in Konoha, and truthfully, most people in Konoha would lay down their life to keep her there. After all, they had to have something when Suna came knocking at the door to brag about all their busty women.

"Uh….Kitsune-san? Why is there blood dripping from your mask?"

Damn, and he'd thought he'd managed to get rid of that reaction when he made the Harem jutsu.

"Oh, I know why! It's the same reason Jiraiya-Ero-Sennin has nosebleeds!" Naruto exclaimed.

Jiraiya? A pervert?

It was then and there that Kitsune decided that their universe was crazy.